


Someone Else's Star

by AmandaHawthorn



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Post-Season/Series Finale, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-04-17 20:57:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 120,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14197560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmandaHawthorn/pseuds/AmandaHawthorn
Summary: All those years that Ed had blamed her for being a dried up, barren bitch and it was him that had been defective all along. If she wasn’t so stressed, she’d find the situation highly amusing, but right now, she couldn’t see the funny side. She had to face facts. She was forty six, alone and pregnant...no, not funny at all





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I always told myself that I wouldn't write a babyfic for Caryl. But a friend of mine, who after many years of being told she couldn't get pregnant, is now expecting her first child with her new husband at the age of 48! So I thought, why not!
> 
> Huge thanks to Coreen. Thank you for being a lovely friend, as well as keeping me up to date with all things Caryl on the new episodes.
> 
> Also huge thanks and gratitude to the amazing CharlotteAshmore who not only is such a beautiful writer, she is also a beautiful person too. Even though she has so much going on already, she's made some time to beta this for me
> 
> I started this back in November, so in this story Alexandria and The Kingdom are still around

Disclaimer:I don't own them unfortunately

 

Smoke filtered into the cloudless sky and the acrid smell of burning corpses filled the air. The rotting flesh grew even more pungent as it burned, causing its billowing stench to cling onto every tree branch, every blade of grass. The remaining survivors were victorious in their work as they all busied themselves with disposing of the last remnants of the war with the saviours.The three communities were so much stronger now, taking on the philosophy that they were stronger together than being alone in defeat. Something the self proclaimed ruler of the Kingdom, King Ezekiel, preached to anyone who would listen.

 

Carol closed her eyes, hoping to drown out the voice of the dreadlocked man, her mind focused only on the one she was missing so badly. The two of them had finally opened up about this thing between them. Finally. Daryl hadn’t wanted to talk about it, choosing at first to dismiss her, and had come up with a string of excuses as to why they couldn’t do this now...but she wouldn’t let him. Not this time. Her mind wandered back to him, and how his touch had burned her skin...and even though he had offered her so little, he had given her everything right then.

 

_“Why ya gotta do this now?” he asked in exasperation as he turned away from her to begin his frantic pacing, back and forth. “Couldn’t ya have waited ‘till this was over?”_

_“Until one of us dies?” she hissed out, stepping towards him as she fought to keep her tears at bay. “What happens then Daryl?”_

_“Don’t…”_

_“Don’t what?” she asked, her voice wavering as she swiped at a lone tear which slipped over her cheek. “Don’t love you? It’s too late for that.”_

_Daryl suddenly stopped pacing and spun around to face her, his eyes boring into her as if he was trying to decipher some hidden code. Lowering his gaze, he stood stock still, rooted to the spot, suddenly afraid to look at her. No one had said those words to him, not even his momma...they were as foreign to him just as much as his feelings were._

_“If you don’t love me back,” she started, hesitating over her word choices before she swallowed heavily. “If...if you can look me in the eye and tell me you don’t feel anything for me, then I’ll go back to the kingdom with Ezekiel when this is all over...you won’t have to see me again…”_

_Daryl clamped his eyes shut and tried to stifle the nausea clinging to him so tightly. He didn’t even know if he was even capable of loving anyone, even her. Words swamped his mind; every kind of response he knew he should say...but the longer he stalled, the more she talked and he just couldn’t seem to process any of it. He could see her becoming flustered as the seconds ticked by, and he held his silence . The pain he was causing her was obvious...but he didn’t have a clue what to say._

_“Okay…” she nodded in defeat, her heart aching with sorrow when she realised she was the only one talking. “I’m...it’s okay...that you don’t…”_

_She was rambling and she knew it, but she couldn’t seem to stop. All these years she had loved this man, and in those years she had misread every single sign. His silence proved it. She shouldn’t be so upset about it, not when no one was guaranteed to live very long in this life now. At least this way it would maybe hurt a little less to lose him...and at least she knew now. But it did hurt...the ache of loss rearing up inside her as she struggled to process all of it, it hurt so damn much.Taking a deep breath she pressed the palms of her hands over her eyes and tried to suppress the stem of tears that wouldn’t seem to dissipate. It wasn’t the first time she’d had her heart broken, and she’d survived it before. She could do this...she could._

_Daryl’s eyes snapped open when her voice trailed away . The defeat in her cadence terrified him so much more than any of the emotions rampaging through him. Seeing her now, her hands pressed against her face, caused something to snap within him...and before he knew it, he was reaching for her, his fingertips desperate to seek solace against her skin._

_“I feel it…” his voice sounded so foreign to his ears, unused to speaking of things which had only served to hurt him in the past. When she still hid behind her fingers, he tried again, this time reaching for her with both hands. “I...feel it…”_

_And that was all it took for the dam to burst…_

_Within seconds they had come together in a mass of limbs, wrapping themselves around each other as though their whole lives depended on it. Carol buried her face into the crook of his neck, sniffing back the tears which refused to stop flowing...and he just held on tightly, nestling his lips against her hair._

_There was no meeting of lips, or a frantic coupling which could have cemented their union in passionate fires. What they had was so much more than that...what they had was worth the slow path...one which would bring them together when all of this was over. They loved one another, truly, and as deeply as any lovers could...and for now, it was enough._

 

Until word came from Dwight that Negan’s second in command, Simon, and a few stragglers had been spotted at one of the saviours’ outposts, retreating from the war as fast as they could...Daryl had readied his bow and was on his bike before anyone could stop him, and she knew she had no choice but to let him go...

 

Two days...Two long, drawn out days, and still there was no sign of Daryl, Rick or Carl. The three of them had gone after Negan’s right hand man. Rick and Carl followed a reckless Daryl, rushing after the man who seemed to not care about his own safety. His attitude scared Carol to her very core. He acted on impulse; his actions rooted in anger and despite their earlier confessions, he was so far away from her, she worried she would never be able to reach him. She knew he’d suffered by Negan’s hand, and he blamed himself for things he couldn’t control...but she loved him, and regardless of what had happened to both of them on their journey since they’d met, that love had only deepened as the years had crept by.

 

So now, he was gone and all she could do was hope he would return to her. She had given up on god so long ago. She didn’t pray for things anymore, not since she’d witnessed all of the bad things this new life had to offer. If she was honest with herself, then all of those prayers she’d offered up during her nightmare life to Ed, had been for nothing. He’d still continued to hurt her, regardless of how many times she prayed, until the day the apocalypse had changed it all. The devil himself had heard her prayers, and in turn helped bring about the change which had left her free of the nightmare she had been living...but that nightmare had only been exchanged for another, one which had taken her daughter and changed her into a monster. Maybe she hadn’t been meant to survive this...maybe she was given Daryl as a punishment to show her that no matter how much she loved, it was still not enough...it never had been ...

 

So here she was, lost and so incredibly alone. Loving someone who had rushed off without a second thought for her...and maybe that’s how it was supposed to be. But no matter what the reason, or whatever lesson this was supposed to teach her...the devil could not stop her heart from spilling over. He couldn’t prevent her from giving her love freely, and she would stand in defiance in the face of evil which came to challenge her every step. She loved, and she was loved...she’d killed because she loved...and she would die because she loved…that was how it was now...and that’s how she came to be sitting here, keeping a silent vigil, refusing to give up on a man she knew she couldn’t live without anymore.

 

The first day of his absence, Carol had kept herself busy, helping with the clean up and overseeing the meals for the day. Her whole attention had been flitting between the food she prepared, to the empty clearing her family had departed from hours ago. As the daylight gave way to the darkening skies, she had taken up a silent vigil, refusing to give in to the desperate pull of sleep aching to claim her. Why waste time on trying to sleep when she wouldn’t be able to rest anyway? It was a pointless pursuit , especially when she wanted to be there when Daryl returned.

 

So, she had dozed while she waited, giving in to the exhaustion for a few minutes at a time. She returned to the mindset she’d taken when Ed was alive, where she slept with one eye open. She’d barely slept then either, so adapting to the same pattern had become easy for her now. So, she’d listened to the rustling of the trees...the soft snores of the people who slept in pairs around her, all the while keeping her ears alerted for any sign of her returning family.

 

The second day, even though the exhaustion caused her muscles to feel sluggish and stiff, she pushed onwards. The same mantra repeated over and over inside her head... _he’ll be back...he’ll be okay..._ So when Ezekiel overlooked the camp and the smouldering piles of charred walkers, Carol simply listened to his speech with a roll of her eyes.

 

“Is he for real?”

 

The soft voice startled her for a moment, causing the silver-haired woman to smile gracefully before she turned around. She nodded in greeting at the young girl, who had come to sit beside her on the upturned tree trunk on the outskirts of their camp.

 

“Unfortunately, yes,” Carol chuckled softly when her eyes flickered over to the king once more before turning back to the girl at her side. “How are you, Enid? I haven’t seen you in a long time.”

 

“Yeah...I’m okay,” Enid nodded, her enigmatic smile lingering over her lips for a few moments. “I’m just waiting…”

 

Carol nodded her head in understanding. With so many of their combined group missing, it was hard to try and join in the jovial battle cries coming from the Kingdom’s leader.

 

“Carl is going to be fine,” Carol soothed, glancing at the girl beside her. “I’ve known that boy since he was small, and he is one of the bravest young men I’ve ever known. He’ll be back, honey; he will.”

 

“I know,” Enid sighed. “It’s just...I hate this part...the _waiting_.”

 

“I know,” Carol told her softly as she reached out to clasp hold of Enid’s fingers. “I hate it too.”

 

“Daryl?” Enid asked, already knowing the answer before Carol could reply. She hadn’t known this woman before they’d come to Alexandria, and for a while she’d thought she was just some useless woman who relied on everyone else to protect her. Little did she know this silver-haired woman was a warrior in her own right...and she was loved fiercely by her family as well as the neighbouring kingdom leader.

 

“Yes,” Carol answered on a sigh, her eyes flitting between Ezekiel and the entrance to the camp. “He should have been here by now.”

 

“You sent Dwight to find them,” Enid told her softly, leaning into her side as she too found her eyes drifting towards the silent trees. “I think you scared the crap out of him.”

 

“Good,” Carol sat up a little straighter and tried to release the knot in her back. “The little weasel is lucky I didn’t just kill him.”

 

“Yeah,” Enid chuckled softly. “He’d deserve it too after what he did to Daryl.”

 

Carol was silent for a long moment as she thought back to the confrontation she’d had with the wiry man. She wouldn’t be surprised if he’d run without trying to put things right. Dwight after all, was nothing but a snake; someone who looked out for his own, and damn anyone who got in his way. What if Daryl was trapped somewhere and Rick had left him behind? With Carl to protect, Rick was renowned for looking after his own, even though Daryl had become as close to him as any brother. What if...he decided to leave Daryl behind, just like he had her?

 

Taking a shuddering breath, Carol forced herself to push those unreasonable fears to the far reaches of her mind. Daryl was capable and he was strong. He’d survived so much already, and she had every faith in him to return to her. Dwight, had filled her in on what had happened to Daryl in her absence. He seemed to take great pleasure in telling her all of the sordid details Daryl hadn’t told her. In a state of despair, she had turned on him with a glare which could have struck any man down where he stood. He was on borrowed time, She made sure he’d known it before he could even speak. So when she’d ordered him to go … find Daryl and bring him home to her, she’d made it perfectly clear that if he came back without him, he was a dead man anyway. Her mind wandered to the conversation she’d had with the irritating little man, and she felt her whole body beginning to tremble with irritation. She should have just killed him.

 

_“You know, when he was rambling on about some Carol, you weren’t what I pictured,” Dwight told her, looking her up and down as he spoke. “He called out for ya when he was chained up in that cell.”_

_“What?” She pierced him with eyes flaring with pain, but before he could respond she was moving towards him again, fixing him with a steely gaze. “Daryl was chained?”_

_“He...Uh...didn’t he tell you?”_

_“Start fucking talking,” she hissed, her eyes growing darker as she advanced on him. Within seconds she had her blade at his throat and digging into his slatternly skin. “WHO HURT HIM?”_

_“I...NEGAN...it was Negan...he ordered me,” his grizzled voice stuttered as he fumbled over his words when the blade dug in even deeper. “He made me...I’m sorry...I’m sorry…”_

_“What did you do to him?” her voice was surprisingly calm despite the fury pulsating through her. “You said he made you do something, so what DID you do?”_

_“I...you have to understand, Negan had my wife...if I didn’t do…”_

_“WHAT DID YOU DO?”_

_“I’m sorry…” Dwight’s voice crumbled, unable to spill the words which would tell this fearsome woman of his crimes. So instead, he gasped in a breath and apologised once more, fearing for his life if he confessed the truth._

_Yanking the blade from Dwight’s throat, Carol stepped in closer, her fierce eyes boring into his. “If you don’t bring him back. If he’s hurt, you’d better stay out of my way because I WILL kill you.”_

 

That had been almost two days ago. She hadn’t slept. She had refuted any attempts made by Ezekiel to offer her comfort. Instead, she kept her eyes focused on the trees, keeping her silent vigil for the man she loved to return home to her.

 

“I’m heading back to help Maggie. Can I get you anything?” Enid asked her, her voice soft and hesitant as she spoke.

 

“No thanks, honey. I think I’m going to wait here,” Carol told her, nodding tiredly, her gaze on the trees unwavering. “Until he comes back.”

 

“Okay. I’ll come back soon and wait with you,” Enid told her, squeezing her fingers reassuringly. “They’ll be home soon enough.”

 

“They will,” she nodded, turning slightly to offer the girl a small smile before she released her fingers and walked away.

 

Lifting her hands, Carol rubbed her palms across her face. Her eyes stung from lack of sleep and her muscles protested, but she couldn’t settle. Worry kept her wound so tightly, knowing that any sleep would be dogged by images which would yank her awake before she could get any rest at all.

 

“You need to sleep, Carol,” Ezekiel’s dulcet tones broke through her solitude as he came to kneel before her. The ground was damp beneath him, but he didn’t care; instead he lowered his head so he could catch her downturned eyes. “No one can survive this way.”

 

“I’m fine,” Carol’s default answer slipped from her lips as she willed him to leave her be.

 

“I can see you are not,” he answered, worry etched into every word. “I promise you I will stay here and keep watch while you sleep.”

 

“No.” Shaking her head, Carol swallowed hard against the lump in her throat. She could already feel the unwanted sting of emotion welling in her eyes, but she refused to give in to it. “I’ll sleep when they’re back.”

 

“And what happens if they’re not back when we pack up this camp and move on?” Placing a tentative hand on her shoulder, Ezekiel watched for any kind of reaction from the woman he’d come to adore. “The fight is over.”

 

“It’s _never_ over,” her voice hissed out between her lips, taking the king by surprise. “Before Negan, it was the wolves, before them it was the governor...there will be others, people who are so much worse. There always is.”

 

“Then all the more reason for us to return home, to safety.”

 

“I’m not leaving here until they’re back.” Pushing his hand from her shoulder, Carol stood on shaky legs, swaying slightly as she sucked in a lungful of air. “You go...I’m not leaving.”

 

“Carol…”

 

_“NO!”_

 

That one word spilled out louder than Carol had intended, bringing unwanted attention her way. Shaking her head, she turned her fierce eyes onto the man before her, daring him to speak one more word.

 

“What goin’ on here?”

 

Ezekiel turned his worried eyes onto Maggie who had approached them unnoticed. The younger woman shifted her gaze from him to linger over the older woman who was visibly shaking before her.

 

“You can all go if you want to,” Carol hissed out, waving her hand between the two of them, “but I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Maggie nodded sadly as she reached out to lay a hand on Carol’s arm. She knew how much it hurt to lose that one person who was everything, and it was common knowledge Carol was closer to Daryl than anyone else in their family.

 

“He’ll be back, Carol,” Maggie told her softly, squeezing her arm as she spoke. “There’s no way he’ll lose you again.”

 

Squeezing her eyes shut, Carol took a breath and willed the tears to stay away. She was wound up so tight, she couldn’t think straight anymore. How could anyone understand she and Daryl weren’t just friends anymore? They had become so much more the day he’d found her in that little house. She’d known something was wrong when he’d sought her out, and she’d selfishly wanted him to stay with her and never return home.

 

“We’ll stay one more day,” Maggie told her, nestling her hand on Carol’s shoulder as she met Ezekiel’s despondent gaze. “If they’re not back by the end of tomorrow, we’ll organise groups to head out to look for them.”

 

“I can’t just sit here,” Carol told her, the waver in her voice betraying her. “I need to _do_ something.”

 

“You need to rest,” Maggie urged her, the soft tone in her voice causing Carol to tear her eyes from the rustling trees.

 

“I…”

 

“Carol, please. You’re dead on your feet. Just rest, even if it’s for an hour,” Maggie squeezed her shoulder, rubbing her thumb against the fabric covering her arms. “If Daryl comes back here to find you like this, I don’t wanna have to deal with his temper...and you know he won’t be happy.”

 

Carol’s thoughts shifted to the man she loved, every single memory of him replaying inside her head. He wouldn’t be happy to come back and find her like this, but there were no guarantees he was faring any better than she was. Nodding in defeat, she slumped against the younger woman beside her, her eyes instantly seeking the empty thicket one last time.

 

“Okay,” she sighed, squeezing Maggie’s fingers on her shoulder. “But you come and wake me the second he comes back?”

 

“I will.”

 

“I mean it, Maggie.” Her eyes met the brunette beside her. “Don’t let me sleep…”

 

The sudden rumble of a vehicle shattered all thoughts of resting aside. Instantly on high alert, the whole camp came alive, weapons at the ready when the car rolled to a stop beside them. Carol was beside the car before anyone could stop her, rushing to the windows to check inside. With no sign of Daryl, her eyes turned once more into the darkening woods, willing him to appear before her.

 

Pushing the door open, Rick climbed out and shook off Maggie’s hands, his eyes instantly on the woman who was beginning to pace back and forth.

 

“Carol…” his soft voice didn’t stop her pacing, and he knew from experience she wasn’t going to listen to anything he had to say. “He’s okay.”

 

Carol whirled around, her eyes wide and distraught. “ _Then_ where is he?”

 

“We got separated by a herd coming from the sanctuary. He’s got Dwight with him…”

 

“You let that weasly little rat stay with him?” she asked as her voice rose a little higher in pitch and volume. “What makes you think he won’t kill Daryl the second his back is turned?”

 

“He won’t,” Rick told her, imploring her to believe him.

 

“He told me to tell you he would be okay,” Carl’s soft voice sounded beside her, his hand reaching out to still her movements. “He’s coming back.”

 

Tears flooded Carol’s eyes when she realised what all of this meant. He was out there amidst the danger and the dead, with nothing but a traitorous wretch by his side. She needed to be out there with him; to be fighting by his side. Her hand dropped down to the knife at her waist; her fingers smoothing over the metal handle.

 

“He’s gonna be just fine, Carol,” Rick’s voice lowered when he stepped closer towards her, reaching out to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. Dipping lower so he could see her downturned eyes, he smoothed his fingers over her upper arm before squeezing reassuringly. “He’s going to make his way back to Alexandria instead of trying to get back here. It’s safer that way.”

 

Rick’s voice pushed its way through Carol’s foggy brain, and for a moment, she allowed herself to relax a little. Lifting her eyes back towards the rustling trees, she drowned out his words. Ignoring him, she listened for the unmistakable sound of Daryl’s bike, but all she was met with was silence. The swirl of the breeze whipped around the forest floor, and she found herself almost hypnotised by the sounds of the leaves. She was so tired, and the exhaustion she’d been holding at bay for the last two days seemed to swamp around her with a vengeance. Her limbs felt like they were lead-lined and tiredness tugged at her eyelids, but she refused to allow herself to fall. Shaking off Rick’s concern, she took a step backwards and watched, mesmerised as his fingers slipped over her arm to slowly fall away.

 

“If you’re lying…”

 

“I wouldn’t,” he told her softly, breaking through her words as he shook his head. “Never…”

 

“If he’s not there when we get back...I _swear_ Rick,” she hissed lowly, the spark of intensity fighting its way through the exhaustion in her eyes. “I’ll go out and find him myself. _You_ got that?”

 

“Yes ma’am,” he nodded, feeling as if he’d been chastised by the school principal. Heat flushed his cheeks when she turned away from him to march determinedly towards the log she’d frequented for the last two days, to yank her pack from the ground . She shoved the strap over her shoulder before walking towards one of the vehicles, only stopping to offer those around her a look of frustration.

 

“What are we waiting for?” she snapped haughtily as she climbed inside the cab to wait for the others to follow.

 

“I’d hate to be in Daryl’s shoes when he finally gets home,” Maggie grinned, as she turned towards one of the trucks where Enid stood holding onto Carl’s hand.

 

“Indeed, it would seem she cares for him a great deal,” Ezekiel nodded, his eyes seeking out the one woman who had captured so much more than just his heart.

 

“Believe me, it’d take someone pretty special to get between those two,” Rick told him sympathetically as he patted the king’s shoulder.

 

“Sorry Zeke,” Maggie told him with a shrug of her shoulders as she nodded to Jerry who hovered beside Carol’s door protectively. “See you back at Alexandria.”

 

Both men watched her climb into her own vehicle before Ezekiel turned to shake Rick’s hand. “I will see you very soon, my friend.”

 

“You will,” Rick grinned, unfazed by the self proclaimed king who walked towards the truck where Carol waited impatiently for him. Rick watched as the volatile woman folded her arms across her chest impatiently, and he couldn’t help but feel sorry for both Daryl and Ezekiel. He knew all too well what it was like to be on the receiving end of Carol’s wrath, and he just hoped he would never have to experience it again. Climbing into his jeep, he turned the key and looked in the side mirror to see the small camp becoming desolate and empty once more. With everything and everyone packed up into the vehicles, he waved his arm out of the window, signalling for everyone to follow him. The roar of engines invaded the peaceful breeze as one by one, the convoy of trucks began to move...their destination, Alexandria.

 

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

When the convoy came to a stop inside Alexandria’s gates, the first thing Carol saw was Daryl’s bike parked beside Aaron’s house. Relief flooded her senses, causing her whole body to tremble. He was safe...he was home...but despite seeing the bike, she didn’t see _him_. Reaching for the door handle, she released the lock and pushed the door open. She was out of the truck before anyone could stop her, barrelling towards the bike standing silent and motionless beside the wooden steps.

 

She scanned the area around her. The sound of her heartbeat thudding in her ears drowned out every other sound. The unreasonable urgency which crept around her was almost suffocating; every second that passed sent her into more of a panic. Was he injured? Bitten? Scratched? Or even worse...had Dwight stolen his bike and left him out there to die alone? By the time she finally processed that someone was talking to her, her senses were already spiking, and she turned abruptly to find herself face to face with the man who was the cause of her turmoil.

 

“Hey,” he spoke gruffly, his voice washing over her. “‘M sorry...we…”

 

Before he could finish, she propelled herself forward, slamming into his body with a desperate thud. Her arms wound around him and she buried her face in the crook of his neck, hanging onto him so tightly he had no other choice but to return her embrace. He looked over her head at Rick who just shrugged his shoulders, offering him a wide grin before he turned towards Michonne and Judith. Daryl was confused by everything, but his arms remained locked around her, relishing the feel of her body against his. He would have been embarrassed in any other circumstances, but all around them, people were coming together, uniting with friends and loved ones...so he held on tightly, deciding to wait for her to move away.

 

“When you didn’t come back…” her voice puffed against his throat, her breath heating his skin. “I thought…”

 

“‘M okay...we ran into a herd. Was easier to go around them on the bike and lead ‘em off for Rick to get back.”

 

Nodding against him, Carol slowly pulled back to tilt her face upwards so she could look into his eyes. Being this close to him, his breath fanning her face, she found herself mesmerised by him. Moving on instinct, her hand came up to his chin, her fingertips skimming over his beard before she moved a little higher to frame his cheek in the palm of her hand.

 

Daryl swallowed heavily when she explored him with her fingertips, every silken touch causing him to lose himself in her watery gaze. Something passed between them; a silent understanding that this thing between them was much too precious to rush. Nodding slightly, Carol withdrew her hand and stepped away, watching silently as his arms fell limply down to his side.

 

“Sorry,” she sighed, berating herself for throwing herself at him like that. “It’s just...when you didn’t come back with Rick…”

 

“He was supposed to tell ya,” he told her, shaking his head in disbelief as he sought out his brother through the mass of people around them.

 

“No, he did…” she smiled as she reached out to touch his arm. “It’s just, after everything that’s happened...I…”

 

“Yeah,” he nodded solemnly, his eyes flitting to hers briefly before looking away again. He couldn’t understand why he was so nervous. This was Carol; his best friend. He loved her more than he’d ever loved anyone else in his entire life...so why was this all so difficult?

 

Carol could feel the swell of emotion rising in her chest, but she refused to let it encompass her now. She was running on empty, physically and mentally exhausted. Daryl seemed nervous, as if he was afraid to touch her since her declaration of love a few days ago. The ache in her heart made things seem so much worse, and she wondered if maybe she should have just continued to love him from afar. The last thing she’d wanted to do was make him uncomfortable around her. Shaking her head, she closed her eyes briefly to gather her courage before she opened them again to offer him a tired smile.

 

“I...should go,” she stuttered, her words tumbling over her tongue as she took another step backwards. “Find somewhere to sleep...”

 

“Carol…”

 

“No,” she sighed, angry at herself for allowing her feelings to dominate her. “You don’t have to say anything. When I said I loved you, I just needed you to know before it was too late…”

 

“No, that’s not...I’m no good at this...” his words came out in a rush, suddenly panicked by her retreating form. Reaching out, he grasped onto her hand and pulled her back towards him. “Don’t go.”

 

Carol looked up at him; losing the battle with her tears. Nodding, she accepted whatever he was prepared to give her as she moved closer. Stepping back into the circle of his arms, she sank into his chest and buried her face against his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him. His warmth seeped into her, lulling her into a sense of calm as she allowed him to take control of whatever this was between them. She’d been wrestling with her feelings for so long, she was tired of fighting. If they only managed to find solitude wrapped around each other like this, she told herself it would be enough...it had to be. If he couldn’t give her anything else...If this was all she had of him, then she would gladly take it all.

 

After a few moments, he started to loosen his arms, but he didn’t pull away from her this time. Instead he leaned in closer and pressed his lips against her temple. He lingered there for a few moments before he moved again, trailing a path of kisses down to her ear and then her cheek only to pull away before he reached her mouth.

 

Lifting her eyes to his, she watched him questioningly, until she saw how focused he was on something behind her. Turning slightly, she followed his gaze and saw what had caused him to pull away from her. Ezekiel stood amongst a group of his people. He was engaged in conversation, but every few seconds, his eyes would lift to look at them, a flash of sadness emanating from him. Turning back towards the man she loved, Carol decided it was time to put Ezekiel’s unrequited attentions to rest once and for all. Reaching up to Daryl, she laid her palm over his cheek and urged him to forget about the man behind her as she turned his face back to her.

 

“He’s a friend,” she told him reassuringly as she stroked his cheek with her thumb. “I _love_ you…”

 

Whatever restraint Daryl had imposed around himself suddenly fell away. His eyes flared wide with her words; the impact of them chasing away every one of his fears. He moved on instinct, lowering his mouth to press against hers in a soft, trembling kiss which left his knees weak beneath him. Carol’s arms tightened around him as she increased the pressure, silently begging for him to deepen their kiss and give her everything she’d dreamed of for so long...but much to her dismay he pulled his lips from hers, panting heavily as he met her gaze.

 

Carol thought she was going to combust with the way he was looking at her right then. She couldn’t remember ever being so affected by a kiss. This man was intoxicating, his presence dominating her senses. She had to keep reminding herself they were taking things slowly. They were moving at a pace Daryl was comfortable with, despite how frustrating it all was. She wanted him all at once. She wanted his love, and his mouth on hers...she wanted his body wrapped around her...She wanted to lose herself in his kisses. She wanted to scream with pleasure when she came apart in his arms...she wanted everything and _more_... Offering him a small smile she prepared herself for their parting, knowing this was probably all she was going to get from him tonight...but he surprised her once again when he traced his fingertips over her arm, all the way down to her hand until they fingers intertwined.

 

She looked at him questioningly when he took a step back and tugged on her hand. Daylight was slowly fading, and the exhaustion which had swamped around her a short time ago had all but vanished, giving way to a whole new set of feelings. Squeezing his fingers, she followed him. She suddenly felt like a teenager again, blushing and proud, as if she had just turned up to the prom holding the hand of the hottest guy in school. It was an odd, elating feeling. Ed had never wanted to hold her hand; he’d never wanted to do anything with her that didn’t involve physical pain. But here she was now, holding hands with the man she loved, and he was leading her... _wait_...where was he leading her?

 

Carol’s eyes widened in surprise when she saw their old house come into view. This was the last place she’d expected him to be taking her, unless he was showing her where she could sleep for the night. _Yes_ , that had to be it. But when he pulled her into the hall, ignoring Rick and Michonne to lead her up the stairs, she thought she was going to melt with the intense nervous excitement soaring through her body. Swallowing heavily, she trailed behind him, her hand still in his as she silently followed.

 

When they reached her old room, she could already feel her heart sinking. Her first instincts had been right all along. He was just making sure she knew she had a place to sleep, nothing more. All of those wild fantasies about him taking her to bed and making love to her all night long, faded just as quickly as they’d come. When he turned the handle and pushed the door open to manoeuvre her inside, she expected him to take his leave and tell her he’d see her in the morning.

 

But, he didn’t…

 

Releasing her hand, Daryl turned back towards the open door and pushed it closed. He turned the key in the lock, the loud click sending shockwaves throughout her body. This still didn’t mean he was going to sleep with her...He was probably going to tell her to rest while he took it upon himself to stand guard, keeping anyone from disturbing her sleep.

 

They watched each other for a few tender moments, gravitating towards one another as if they were connected by an invisible thread. When he stopped before her, close enough to touch, she held her breath and waited for him to do something indicating he wanted to stay with her tonight. It seemed as if hours passed while she patiently waited, desperate to touch him, but so terrified of losing him to his fears. Her hands hung by her side, her fingers twitching as she waited, nervously holding her breath.

 

When his mouth suddenly landed on hers, she gasped in surprise. He stepped in closer, wrapping his arms around her body to pull her flush against him. A soft whimper filled the silence and she wasn’t sure which one of them had made the sound. All she knew was this man’s lips were addictive and she couldn’t seem to get enough. Taking a bold step, Carol increased the pressure, running the tip of her tongue across his closed lips. He shuddered against her and opened his mouth, tentatively meeting her tongue with his. The kiss slowly deepened as he slipped his hands over her back, tracing her spine with his fingers. They explored each other, falling into the kiss with delicate ease, until he started to slow things down and pulled away from her.

 

When his lips left hers to trail a string of kisses over her cheek, she allowed herself to succumb to him. She followed his lead, leaning into him when he tugged her against him to bury his face against her shoulder. They stayed like that for a long moment, both content to rest within the circle of each other’s arms. His hands roamed her back, smoothing over the soft cotton of the t shirt she wore. His breath was coming out in small little gasps as he turned his head to latch onto her throat, kissing and suckling on the soft, silken skin he found there.

 

Carol tilted her head to give him better access, gasping with the sensations he was evoking within her. Her fingers danced over his shoulders, not quite sure where to put her hands. She wanted to feel him beneath her palms. She wanted to know what it felt like to be touched with gentleness and love. Ed had never been gentle, and his touch had been more repulsive than loving. Everything with him had been rough and punishing, and he’d stopped kissing her a long time before Sophia had been born. He’d told her she was too ugly to look at, that looking at her body was enough to turn off any man...and even now, as Daryl’s calloused fingers slipped beneath her t-shirt to roam across her back, those old, soul destroying taunts still floated around inside her head.

 

She forced Ed’s vile voice out of her mind and instead focused on the man who touched her with such tender hands. Her arms seemed to move on their own, her seeking fingers dipping to the buttons on his shirt, aching to feel the heated skin beneath. She groaned in frustration when his hands came around to cover hers, stilling her movements as he broke the kiss. Opening her eyes, she met his gaze, desperate to quash the slow tremble making its way through her body. The heat from his hands melted into hers, sparking feelings inside her she hadn’t felt in a very long time. She knew she was moving too fast, but she hadn’t felt wanted in so long.

 

“Slow down,” he whispered, his gravelled voice sending shivers down her spine. “Ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

 

“Sorry...I…”

 

“Don’t be apologising for this,” he told her softly, his breath warm against her ear. “I just wanna do it right.”

 

“You are,” her voice came out in a rush and he lifted his head to meet her gaze. “You already are.”

 

“Yeah?” he asked, his grin widening when her hands left his and she reached her arms up to link her fingers at the back of his neck.

 

“Oh yeah…” she chuckled happily, swaying with him slightly before reaching up to press a kiss against the underside of his chin.

 

He eyed her for a few moments before he dipped his head and captured her lips in a soft, closed mouthed kiss. He pulled away just as quickly but returned within seconds, kissing her once, twice, until he released a soft sigh and covered her mouth for a third time, easing her into another deep, drugging kiss.

 

They lost themselves in the feel of each other, both becoming all too aware of the restricting clothing keeping their bodies apart. His hands roamed her back before he smoothed his palms lower, lifting her t-shirt so he could spread his fingers wide across her heated skin. His touch brought her closer, nudging against his hardened erection which bumped against her stomach. The feel of his desire only spurred her onwards. Her touch became bolder, her seeking fingers finding their way beneath his shirt.

 

With a soft growl, Daryl tore his mouth from hers and pulled her with him towards the bed. They tumbled on the mattress in a tangle of limbs, soft laughter rumbling from both of them when they tried to unsuccessfully shush each other.

 

“Smooth move, Dixon,” she grinned as she eased herself onto her back before she reached for him again to tug him on top of her. “I kinda like it.”

 

“Pffft…” he grinned, but the smile suddenly died away and he looked at her with solemn, worried eyes.

 

“Daryl…” she spoke his name like a prayer, all traces of mirth gone when she saw the sadness in his gaze. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Are ya gonna stay now?” he asked, his question causing her worries to melt away.

 

Lifting her hands up to his face, she smiled softly as she stroked his cheek with her thumb. “I want to…”

 

“Ya can,” he told her, turning his head to place his lips against her palm.

 

“Yeah?” she asked with a smile as she held his gaze.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Carol pulled his face down to hers, kissing him with every ounce of love she possessed. He gasped into her mouth when she stroked her tongue against his. All the intentions of taking things slowly scattered when they sank further into the mattress. Carol’s hands roamed over his back, tracing the fabric all the way down until she gave it a tug upwards to find his scorching skin beneath. She felt him shudder above her as she splayed her fingers wide and shifted even lower to dip just inside the waistband of his jeans.

 

Daryl groaned above her, the sound only making her touch more urgent. Her hands were burning him, but he relished the feel of her on his skin. His tongue tangled with hers, delving deeper in a kiss which made his head spin with the sensations she was evoking inside him. The feelings rampaging through his body were both terrifying and elating at the same time. He had never felt anything so powerful before, not just by kissing and touching, and they hadn’t even gotten their clothes off yet. Sudden panic rose inside him but he pushed it away. Sex had never felt so intense before, not like this. He’d only had sex as a quick release in the past, but this was so different; this was something he’d never experienced before. There was the added pressure riding him to please her, and he was certain the coil of heat spooling inside him had nothing to do with just sex alone...he was absolutely terrified, but he couldn’t stop touching her.

 

When her hands slipped around to his front, her thumbs brushing the tip of his cock, he almost came apart. With urgent fingers he reached down to the hem of her t-shirt, bundling the fabric as he pushed it up her body, exposing more of her creamy skin. Tearing his mouth from hers, he sank lower, attacking her throat with wet, open mouthed kisses as he trailed a path downwards, only stopping when he reached the neckline of the shirt. Lifting his head, he pulled back a little, leaning up on one elbow. He watched, mesmerised when her eyes slowly opened and she looked up at him with a sultry gaze. He’d never had anyone look at him this way, not as if he was the most important thing in their life. He’d never been that to anyone. It was almost overwhelming, and the old feelings of anxiety and insecurities tried to push through everything he felt for this woman, but he couldn’t let it consume him, not now.

 

Carol slipped her hands out of his jeans and helped him pull her t-shirt upwards. Arching her back, she lifted a little higher, making it easier for him to free her of the restricting garment, to leave her clad in only her bra and jeans. She was almost glad the light was fading fast. In the dark, he wouldn’t be able to see the scars she hid beneath her bra...but when he moved to rid her of the flimsy garment, she distracted him by pulling him down for another kiss. Her fingers fumbled with his shirt buttons as she bumped her tongue with his. She groaned into his mouth as his own hands joined hers. He helped her to pull the buttons free, before shrugging the material over his shoulders and down his arms, just enough for her to finish pushing it from his body.

 

They sank together once more. The feel of skin on skin was almost too much for both of them to take. Neither had felt a loving touch in a very long time, and everything seemed to become so urgent and unravelling as Carol parted her legs to cradle him between her thighs. She gasped when his hard erection rubbed against her throbbing core, and she found herself reacting to him instantly. Her body moved on its own, starved for sex and intimacy, causing her to grind herself against him. She was so close to losing control, already feeling the searing heat of pleasure building inside her. She almost gave into it...she almost allowed herself to flow through the sea of pleasure which would leave her trembling beneath him, but she wanted him to be inside her when she came.

 

Her fingers trembled as she fumbled with his belt buckle, desperately trying to free him while she kissed him with a passion she never knew she possessed. His hands came down to help her, freeing the clasp as he joined her in pushing his jeans and boxers over his ass and down his thighs. Pulling his mouth from hers, he lifted himself up and shucked the clothes the rest of the way down. Toeing off his boots, he kicked them and the jeans off before he turned back towards her and popped the button on hers. She lifted her lower body, closing her eyes in bliss when his fingers slid over her exposed thighs, taking her jeans and underwear down with them. When he rid her of the garments, he crawled back up her body, falling into her heat before their lips met again.

 

Daryl’s hands moved over her ribs, sliding up further to cup a breast still nestled beneath the lacy material covering her. Breaking their kiss, he trailed his lips over her throat, licking his way down her silken skin before closing his mouth over the hardened bud puckered beneath the fabric. Carol gasped, arching her back as white hot pleasure surged through to her core and she reached down to grasp at any part of him she could find. Her whole body was humming with need and she rubbed herself against his hardness, increasing the pleasure when there was nothing to stop him entering her body this time. Daryl reached around behind her and fumbled with the clasp holding the bra together and she found herself arching her back for him, forgetting about the fears of what the lace would reveal underneath.

 

Within seconds they came back together, kissing with a desperate need neither had ever experienced before. Daryl’s hands seemed to be everywhere at once, closing over her breast to rub her nipple beneath his palm. Carol’s flaccid hands began to move, seeking out the very essence of him. Her hand closed around his cock, squeezing the heated flesh as she guided him towards her opening. She felt him shudder above her and she held her breath, prepared for the pain she’d always associated with this act...but when none came, she tore her mouth from his and lifted her thighs higher, pulling him deeper into her core.

 

Daryl groaned into her neck, kissing and licking his way down her body until he sucked a hardened nipple into his mouth as he moved inside her. Carol too was losing herself in the sensations of him. Her mouth fell open and she gasped in a lungful of air when he released her breast with a loud pop only to bury his head against her shoulder while he increased his pace. Carol gasped out his name when she felt her walls begin to pulse around him and she had to bite down on her lip to stop herself from screaming out his name. She had never come apart like this, never lost control of her body so completely with anyone. He was thrusting into her, sending shards of heat right through her, leaving her gasping and crying out.

 

Daryl groaned into her throat, the peak of his orgasm ripping through his body before he could prepare himself for it. The heat drove through him, bringing a whole plethora of emotions along with it. Love...pure, elating, terrifying and undeniable burst through him as his seed surged into her body. It was too good, too consuming...the sheer power of it bombarding his senses before he could process. Nothing had ever felt this good...nothing...and that was the moment everything became too much.The panic of never feeling like this again ripped a gaping hole through the joy he’d felt since being with her. The cold, numbing truth quashed all of the blissful sensations he’d allowed himself to feel. Nothing this good ever happened to a Dixon...he had to get out before she realised he wasn't worth her time...

 

Pulling out of her, he avoided her grasping hands and scrambled to the side of the bed. Reaching down for his jeans, he pulled them over his trembling legs and grabbed his shirt, all the while avoiding her gaze.

 

“Daryl…”

 

“I can’t do this…” he hissed out, already hating himself for allowing the panic to encompass him. He made it to the door before he muttered a hurried apology, and then he was gone, running out of the room as fast as his legs would carry him.

 

Carol’s eyes filled with tears as she watched the closed door in shock. What the hell had just happened? Her body was still humming from the pleasure of their love making and he’d already left her. Her heart jutted inside her chest and she fought to think of what she’d done to chase him away. She kept her eyes on the door, willing him to come back into the room and tell her he hadn’t meant to run...but when the darkness encompassed the room and the moonlight washed over the bed, she knew he wouldn’t be coming back to her.

 

Tears still flowed over her cheeks and her body had grown cold. The pleasure she’d felt only a short time ago now just felt like a dream, leaving her empty and alone. Sitting up, she reached for the sheet and pulled it up her body, wishing she could just fast forward to a year from now when the pain would have long since faded. Laying back against the pillows, her eyes followed the moonlight which highlighted her scars and she realised what had made Daryl run away. The deep ridges and circled cigarette burns littering her breasts, were so clear in the moonlight, just an ugly reminder of why she should have never come back here. Daryl had seen her scars and it had been too much, just like she always knew it would be...but now it was too late. They had already shattered the friendship between them by stepping over the invisible line, and now she had lost him forever.

 

Tears continued to flow over her cheeks well into the early hours, and as she slipped into a dreamless sleep, she prayed for the strength to leave Alexandria once and for all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to CharlotteAshmore for her incredible beta work. If you haven't read her work yet then seriously please go and read. Her writing is equisite

Opening her tear swollen eyes, Carol blinked several times before remembering she was in her old room in Alexandria. Her body ached in the most glorious way. Muscles which had gone unused for so many years were aching and heavy, a reminder that Daryl had been in her bed. She had remembered how to become tender again; to lower her walls and allow herself to feel once more...but in the end, all it served her was to break her down even more.

 

_“I can’t do this...”_

 

Daryl’s devastating words had shattered her completely. She hadn’t expected confessions of love or promises of forever; life had taught her those things came at a price in this post apocalyptic world. She hadn’t expected anything other than what he could give her, and she would have accepted anything, because it was from him. Instead, he had left her bed before she had even caught her breath. Slipping from her body while her orgasm pulsed around him, rambling disjointed words of how he couldn’t do it, and she wasn’t what he wanted.

 

Sitting up in the bed, Carol glanced down at her bare breasts. They were littered with a patchwork of scars, most of them the result of a punishment for being something she could never be. Her dead husband had told her over and over no man would want her. He’d told her she was useless and sex with her was nothing but a meaningless chore. He’d taken what he wanted from her body and left her weeping with her inadequacies...she was nothing but a means to an end, and Daryl’s reaction proved it.

 

Slipping out of the bed, she caught sight of her body in the mirror hanging on her bedroom wall. She was a mess. She couldn’t bear to look at her own reflection, so how could she expect Daryl to. She’d seen his eyes flash with something when he’d seen her naked, so she couldn’t really blame him for running away. Ed may have said all those things to hurt her, but she couldn’t get away from the fact that he’d been right about her all along.

 

Bending to retrieve her discarded clothes from the floor, she quickly dressed, hiding herself beneath the material. She created an illusion that she was this strong, powerful warrior. She could be fearless and ruthless. She could transfer her hurt and insecurities into a rage which often scared her...but she also loved with all of her heart. It was her biggest failure; her achilles heel… and it had to stop. Daryl couldn’t love her and he didn’t want her either, so she had nothing to keep her here anymore. Taking one last look at her reflection, she took a deep breath and made her way out of her room. She was going to find Rick, and say her goodbyes before she found Ezekiel to take him up on his offer to hitch a ride back to the kingdom.

 

Rick was in the kitchen when Carol made her way down the stairs. He turned to offer her a tired smile when he saw her, gesturing towards the coffee pot on the counter top. His cheerful smile made him look so much younger. Now the threat of Negan had been neutralised, he looked more relaxed than he’d been in years, making Carol feel even worse about what she had to tell him.

 

“I saw Daryl hightail it out of here this morning,” he told her nonchalantly as he poured boiling water into two mugs. “Ran out of here like his ass was on fire!”

 

His wide grin slowly wilted when he turned around to face her. She could only imagine how she must look to him right now. If her eyes betrayed the devastation she was feeling, then she knew she couldn’t hide herself from him.

 

“Carol…” the concern in his voice caused her eyes to sting with tears, but she swallowed furiously, desperate to stop them from falling. He was moving towards her, his eyes awash with worry, but she halted his movements with a shake of her head.

 

“I...I’m going to leave with Ezekiel…” her voice sounded foreign to her own ears as she spoke, knowing she couldn’t hide the tremor in her words. “I...think it’s for the best.”

 

Rick eyed her worriedly before he took another step closer towards her. Holding out a hand, he brushed her shoulder with his fingers before he moved even closer to squeeze her arm.

 

“What happened, Carol?”

 

His soft words were all it took for Carol to lose the fight with her tears. Clamping her eyes closed, she covered her face with her hands, trying to hide her heartbreak from him, but he was on her within seconds. Pulling her against his chest, Rick wrapped his arms around her and held onto her while she quietly wept . He had only seen Carol cry a handful of times, but for her to be this upset, he had his suspicions that this particular breakdown was caused by the man he’d seen running out of here earlier.

 

“What did he do?”

 

Carol shook her head against him and he knew his suspicions were right. Whatever had happened, he knew there was nothing he could say to make any of this better for her. So he did the only thing he could, he held her until her tears petered out and she disentangled herself from his arms.

 

“Doesn’t matter now…” her whispered words scratched at the back of her throat, pulling a deep swell of loss right along with them. Swiping at her face, she swallowed at the lump in her throat before she lifted her eyes to face him. “We...tried...but I…”

 

“What?” he asked when her words died away. “Carol?”

 

“Ed was right…”

 

The sound of her dead husband’s name brought Rick to a standstill. He hadn’t known the man long, but he’d dealt with enough domestic abuse cases to easily spot the signs. The walker that had bitten him had done everyone a favour, bringing an abrupt end to the cycle of terror he’d inflicted on his family.

 

“What do you mean?” he asked cautiously, reaching out to touch her again, but she backed away.

 

“Doesn’t matter,” she told him, shrugging off his concern as she pulled herself up straighter. “Tell Daryl he can come back...he won’t have to see me anymore.”

 

“Carol…”

 

“Take care of yourself, okay,” she told him softly before she turned away from him, forcing her heart to stop aching. “And tell the others...say goodbye for me.”

 

“Don’t you want to tell them yourself,” he tried, hoping he could stop her from leaving like this. “Don’t you think Daryl would want to say goodbye to you himself?”

 

Carol whirled around at his words. Her anger and hurt spiking through her as her eyes flared with pain. “He doesn’t want me. He never did…It was all me...”

 

“I can’t believe that, Carol. He loves you. He…”

 

“He doesn’t,” she told him, shaking her head with self recrimination as the anger burst through her, causing her to blurt out the truth of why Daryl had departed so quickly. “My body repulses him...there...are you happy now?”

 

Disbelief radiated through him, but he recovered just as quickly, moving towards her. “No...and I don’t believe that for a minute…”

 

“You didn’t see his face when he...” she faltered, irritated with herself for being so weak. “But...it doesn’t matter anymore.”

 

“It does matter,” he told her, urging for her to listen to him. “Carol...don’t leave like this.”

 

“Goodbye, Rick,” she told him, refusing to listen to any more as she turned on her heel and hurried out of the house before he could stop her.

 

Rick stood stock still, his eyes lingering over the closed door as if he was rooted to the floor. He had no idea how two people who were so obviously drawn to one another, could mess up so badly. All he knew was he had to find Daryl before he let her leave with Ezekiel. His brother had to fix this before he lost her forever...before they all lost her.

 

000

 

Daryl sat perched on a large tree stump, lost in thought. He’d had sex with Carol, and it had been both wonderful and terrifying all in the same moment. He’d been caught up in sensations which were all too foreign to him and he’d panicked. His previous sexual encounters had been just a quick release which had meant nothing but scratching an itch. None of those faceless women meant anything to him. He didn’t have a connection or a need to be the best he could be...but with Carol, he felt something he’d never felt before ever…

 

He’d fucked up so badly, pulling out of her as soon as his orgasm hit. God...what must she think of him now? He’d run away like the scared little pussy Merle had always told him he was. He’d left her there, naked and beautiful...but he’d never felt so overwhelmed by anything until he’d lost himself in her. He’d never known what love was, or how it could be so...powerful...he was such an idiot.

 

His eyes drifted to the lit cigarette between his fingers before he lifted it to his lips. He had to find a way to fix this whole mess but he didn’t know what to do anymore. How could he tell her he’d run away from her because he thought he didn’t deserve her? Or that her love was wasted on a man like him? She’d always been so forgiving in the past, especially with him...maybe if he told her she terrified him with how much he felt for her, then maybe she would give him another chance to redeem himself.

 

A sudden snap of a twig under foot caused him to whirl around. Tossing the cigarette to the ground, he squashed it beneath his boot as he aimed his crossbow towards the intruder who had disturbed his peace.

 

_“Rick!”_ he hissed, lowering his bow when he saw his brother’s raised hands. “What the _fuck_. I almost got ya...what ya doin’ out here?”

 

“I was looking for you,” Rick ground out, stumbling over a broken tree branch. “What the hell did you do?”

 

“What?”

 

“Oh come on. Don’t give me the confused look, brother. I’m not buying it this time.”

 

Daryl watched his brother in confusion as he threw his hands in the air in exasperation. Shaking his head, he stepped towards him. “What the hell are ya talkin’ about?”

 

“ _Carol_ ,” Rick hissed out. “What the _hell_ did you do to Carol?”

 

At the mention of her name, Daryl stumbled backwards and lowered his gaze. Shame filled his eyes as he tried to quash the guilt that surged through him, before the betrayal hit him all at once and he lifted his head to regard his brother angrily.

 

“Ain’t got _fuck_ ta do with anyone else but me an’ her.”

 

“Yeah, well you tell that to _her_ ,” Rick snapped. “If she’ll even listen to you now.”

 

“The _FUCK_ you say?”

 

“ _How_ could you do that to her?” Rick growled, his voice hissing through his lips as he watched the man before him suddenly deflate. “I thought you two were closer than that.”

 

“Ain’t nonna yer _damn_ business what we did. Whatever happened is between us, and I’ll talk to her in my own _damn_ time.” Snatching his bow to his side, Daryl turned away from his brother and began walking away, moving further into the woods, but when he heard Rick’s voice calling out to him, he stopped suddenly when the words brought a surge of fear through him.

 

“She’s gone.”

 

Turning back around, Daryl eyed his brother suspiciously before he could see the evidence of sorrow in his eyes. Taking a step closer he shook his head. “No…”

 

“I’m sorry, brother,” Rick told him, his voice tinged with pain. “She left with Ezekiel before I could stop her.”

 

“But… _I_...why...she...”

 

“She said something about Ed being right about her,” Rick told him, watching him carefully as he spoke. “She said you didn’t want her.”

 

_“What?”_ Daryl gasped out, tears flooding his eyes as he shook his head from side to side, “No… that’s not...No...I…”

 

“I don’t know how you’re going to fix this,” Rick told him, his honesty causing Daryl to take a deep shuddering breath. “But you need to do it fast before Ezekiel makes his move. He wants her, you and I both know it, and so does she.”

 

“How long?” Daryl asked urgently as he started to walk past Rick, making his way back towards Alexandria’s gates. _“Rick?”_

 

“I don’t know, half hour maybe...I’ve spent most of it trying to track you down.”

 

_“Dammit,”_ Daryl growled, cursing himself for his own stupid mistakes. “Weren’t cuz I didn’t...weren’t that…”

 

Shaking his head, Rick looked at the man beside him with more than a little sadness. After all this time; after everything he’d been through...he finally had the chance to be with the woman he’d loved for so long, and he’d blown it before it could even begin. He couldn’t forget Carol’s haunted words when she’d told him Daryl was repulsed by her… He just hoped his brother could fix the mess he’d created and bring her home.

 

000

 

Carol stared blankly out of the window as the truck rumbled its way back to the Kingdom. Beside her, Ezekiel glanced at her every few seconds, worry etched in his eyes. He had been so surprised by her request to ride back to the kingdom with him that morning. He hadn’t expected to see her again after the display of affection she’d shown the redneck who clearly loved her. Between them leaving together the night before and this morning, something had happened to make her ask for passage back to the kingdom. He had been both shocked and elated, but as she sat beside him, sad and forlorn, he found himself needing to protect her.

 

“There is a place for you at the kingdom, Carol,” he told her softly, watching her for any signs that she had heard him. “You deserve to belong…”

 

_“Don’t…”_

 

That one word was spoken so softly, he almost thought he’d imagined it. He ached to touch her; to offer her any kind of comfort she would accept from him, but he didn’t. It was the only word she had spoken since she’d climbed into the passenger seat beside him...and her silence scared him. He had never seen her so fragile or so lost, not in the time he’d known her. She was the bravest woman he’d ever met, her courage rubbing off on him and all of those around her. Whether she’d intended it or not, she had found a place amongst his people. She was loved and she was respected...and if she needed to be reminded of that fact, then he would make it his mission to remind her of her worth, every single day.

 

“I meant no offence,” he told her, his usual bravado lost to him now. “I…”

 

“You didn’t,” her voice was strained and almost broken as she fought to remain in control. The loss and humiliation had found its way inside her heart and made a permanent home there. She knew Ezekiel was trying to be kind, but she didn’t want to hear it anymore. All she wanted was to find a place that was far away from everyone...somewhere she could live alone and in solitude for the rest of her days.

 

Keeping her eyes focused on the passing trees, she blinked at the moisture in her eyes. She refused to cry; she’d already shed more than her fair share of tears over more than one man. No...she wouldn’t succumb to it again.

 

The scenery around them piqued her senses, recognising the area around the little house she had called her own. Part of her wanted to tell Jerry to stop the truck and let her out, but there were too many memories there. She needed a place where Daryl had never been...somewhere she could expunge every single memory until it didn’t hurt anymore.

 

“We’re approaching the Kingdom,” Ezekiel announced with a smile a short time later, grateful to see the welcoming gates of the place he called home. “It is indeed a good feeling to return home.”

 

“Yes, boss,” Jerry grinned, bouncing a little in his seat. “It sure is.”

 

Carol could feel Ezekiel’s eyes on her once more and the attention he was giving her was almost suffocating. Sitting up, she took a breath and looked at Jerry for the first time since she’d climbed into the truck.

 

“Let me out.”

 

“Carol?” Ezekiel asked worriedly, sitting up with her when he caught the panic in her eyes.

 

“I _need_ to get out,” she gasped, grasping at the handle to push the door open before Jerry had a chance to stop the truck.

 

Jerry braked hard at Ezekiel’s hissed words, bringing the truck to a sudden stop. The two vehicles behind them also ground to a halt, bringing the small convoy to a complete stop as Carol slid out of the seat and onto the grassy bank which dipped down into an empty field.

 

Ezekiel followed her out, walking beside her when she started to move over the ridge. His hand shot out to grasp hold of her arm, desperate to slow her down, but she just shook him off.

 

“Carol...please come back to the kingdom with us. Whatever happened, no one can survive on their own out here.”

 

Carol stopped suddenly and turned around to face him, unable to stop the lone tear spilling over onto her cheek. Shaking her head, she offered him a sad chuckle before she turned away from him again and clambered down into the field.

 

Undeterred, Ezekiel followed her. He maneuvered himself over the grassed ridge and hurried after her. He kept her pace, walking beside her even when she tried to speed up. She couldn’t escape him, and his infuriating humility caused her to become even angrier .

 

“ _Why_ are you following me?” she hissed out as she came to a sudden stop and whirled around to face him.

 

“I care about you...we all do,” he told her breathlessly, grateful she’d finally stopped moving.

 

“Well, you shouldn’t,” she growled angrily, turning away from him to begin walking, but she stopped again to turn her fury on him once more. “You don’t know who I am, or what I’ve had to do. I’m not this saintly person you make me out to be...I’m _nothing_ , and the sooner you figure that out, the better it’ll be for everyone...now leave me be…”

 

“I don’t believe that…”

 

“Then you’re a fool,” she spat, turning on her heel, leaving him behind her as she stomped her way through the wiry grass which led towards her sad, little house.

 

Every step seemed to hurt, as if her boots were lined with lead. Her eyes stung and the lump in her throat just wouldn’t disappear. Everything about this whole mess just served to remind her that crying solved nothing. So she carried on, one foot in front of the other, determined to heal herself the best she could.

 

“Where are you going?” Ezekiel’s voice broke through the fog in her brain and she shook her head in frustration as she willed him to just leave her alone. But the king was determined and continued his pursuit of her. Catching up, he matched her stride until he was walking by her side. Looking towards her, he could see the determination in her face, but he tried once more to reach out towards her.

 

Carol deflected his touch, instead increasing her pace to avoid him, but he wasn’t letting her get away. Stopping abruptly, she turned on him, anger and devastation culminating in a self destructive face off which left her feeling even more alone.

 

“What do you want from me?” she growled, hoping he hadn’t heard the slight waver in her voice. Fixing him with a fierce stare, she waited for him to be intimidated by her, but to her dismay he just stepped even closer.

 

“I just want my friend,” he told her as he reached out to lay a cautious hand over her arm. “I want you to know there is a place for you at the kingdom...no one has to be alone anymore.”

 

“Yeah,” she huffed. “Well, I like being alone.”

 

“I understand your need for solitude...but the house you seek to find said solitude, is no longer there. It was ravaged by the saviours during the war.” Keeping his eyes upon her, Ezekiel waited for his words to register before he spoke again. “Return to the kingdom with me, if only for a few days...and then if you still wish to distance yourself from us, then Jerry and I will help you find a new home.”

 

Carol considered his request, part of her wanting to take him up on his offer. She was so tired, and not just physically. The kingdom had enough places that could provide her with the peace she craved, but could she trust Ezekiel to leave her alone? Turning to him, she eyed him with determination and folded her arms across her chest.

 

“If I come back with you, I want to be left alone.”

 

“No one will disturb you,” he nodded, hope flaring in his eyes. “If you wish to be left alone then I will deem it so.”

 

Carol shrugged her shoulders and turned about, lifting the strap of her bulky bag further onto her shoulder. Without waiting for him to respond, she started walking back towards the road and the truck where Jerry waved wildly with that big, happy grin on his face...and despite her heartache, she couldn’t help but nod at him in response. She would stay for a few days and then she would leave, clinging to the hope she would find some peace.

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

Six weeks later, Carol awoke from another terrifying nightmare. The scream, which ripped from her lungs, had yanked her from the dream. So many faces haunted her...faces of the people she’d killed. Lizzie begging her not to be mad at her, and little Mika asking her why she’d let her die. Sophia played her part too. Her sweet, beautiful daughter haunted her more than the others, her grotesque, disfigured face wiping away the memories of how perfect she’d been. Carol had spent so much time trying to push the horrors of her past away, she had managed to blank out the faces of the ones she’d loved the most.

 

Since she’d settled in the tiny room at the Kingdom, she’d had the time to find some peace. Ezekiel had been true to his word, seeking out a room for her that he’d hoped would persuade her to stay amongst them. He hadn’t smothered her with his jovial speeches and he’d kept his distance when he saw she wanted to be alone. He hadn’t asked her about the day she’d come to him back at Alexandria, and she’d been grateful for that at least. It was all still too raw and private. She was virtually anonymous here.

 

For the first few days she had foolishly hoped Daryl would come after her. She’d spent the first week here volunteering to go on watch duty, just to get a glimpse of the man she hoped would seek her out. But every day which crept by, left her with another bout of disappointment. Every insecurity she had tried to bury seemed to become exaggerated, and she found herself feeling more isolated. She would have stayed on watch duty every single day and night if she could...and she had for a while...until Ezekiel had put a stop to it. She’d been furious. She had accused him of trying to control her and threatened to leave before she’d even had any time to settle in.

 

_“I am merely concerned. You can’t keep on like this, Carol.”_

_Carol’s eyes flared with fury as she turned to face him. He was watching her with such kind eyes, but she refused to acknowledge him._

_“I don’t need sleep. I can survive without it,” she snapped. “You don’t even know me, so don’t pretend you do.”_

_“I know someone hurt you,” he replied, keeping his voice soft as he spoke. “I know you’ve been through so much pain.”_

_“You have no idea…You think you know it all don’t you? You think you have this great insight as to how you can make this a better world.” The words hissed from her lips before she could think. She was so angry at everything, and she knew he didn’t deserve her blistering temper, but she couldn’t seem to stop. “You’re just some fool living in a fantasy land, but this isn’t some stupid fairytale. It’s real.”_

_Ezekiel stepped a little closer and laid his hand over her arm. “I know this world is one of nightmares...I do know this...but within these walls, our people have safety...and if by offering them some kind of fantasy helps them live through each day, then what harm can it be?”_

_“They need to be ready to fight,” she told him, some of the fight leaving her. “The saviours are gone, but they won’t be the last threat that tries to take this place from you…”_

_“And you will teach them,” he smiled. “You are an excellent teacher Carol. I see it in you, even if you do not.”_

_“I won’t be staying long enough…”_

_“Then while you are here,” he told her softly, his words breaking through hers. “Please...show our people how they can be strong.”_

_She considered his words for a few moments before she nodded curtly. She didn’t intend to stay here long anyway..._

 

That was six weeks ago. She’d filled her days teaching some of the younger ones for a few hours each day. At first she’d had only a handful of eager students, but now she had more than she could handle. The shooting lessons soon turned into hand to hand combat, and then to survival. She had gone from holding two lessons every other day to five days a week now. She was exhausted with the schedule, but the students were eager and they took her mind away from the man who had left her broken and alone.

 

Her thoughts drifted back to Daryl despite the pain he’d caused. She still held onto some foolish fantasy that he was going to come to her. She tried to tell herself he missed her and held onto what they’d shared just as much as she did...but it was all just a stupid dream. They’d had sex, nothing more than a one night stand. People did it all the time in the old world, and not much had changed since then. People had urges, pure and simple, and that’s all she was...an itch for him to scratch. She couldn’t allow herself to feel the love she still harboured for him. He may have felt something for her before he’d fallen into bed with her, but he so clearly didn’t anymore. He’d tried, but she hadn’t been enough...story of her whole damn life. Ed had never failed to point out every one of her faults. He’d found so many that after a while, she’d become immune to his vile taunts. She’d taken them in numbing silence, just as she had every punch and punishment he’d dished out to her. She was no stranger to pain, and all this was, was a different kind of pain.

 

Sitting up in her narrow bed, she rubbed her palms over her eyes. She was so tired, even after retiring to bed at an early hour last night. The war may be over, but she couldn’t allow herself to become complacent. She thought about going to Ezekiel to organise lessons in setting traps. So far she’d been going out alone to find what she could, but if she could teach others to hunt and track, just like Daryl had done for her... _Daryl_...tears stung her eyes, but she pressed her palms closer to stop them from falling. If the hours she wasn’t teaching meant he would creep back into her thoughts, then she needed to work harder. More hours of keeping busy meant less time to think, and she intended to work for as many hours as she could.

 

With a heavy sigh, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and placed her feet onto the cold floor. Pushing herself off the bed, she stood up and was hit by a wave of nausea which had her grasping onto the tiny dressing table beside her for support. Swallowing hard, she gasped in a breath, willing the rolling in her stomach to subside enough for her to get to the little bathroom at the end of the hall. Moving slowly, she reached across for her cargo pants on the chair opposite the bed, and lowered herself onto the edge of the mattress before pulling them on.

 

She could remember her mother complaining about dizziness and nausea when she’d been going through menopause. She had been roughly the same age as Carol was now when her symptoms first hit...it would explain the dizziness and the night sweats, her lethargic body. Even her limbs felt as if she were wearing heavy weights around them. She could remember how she hadn’t offered her mother much sympathy when she’d been plagued with hot flashes, but she sympathised with her now.

 

Getting to her feet once more, she tore the damp shirt from her body and replaced it with a freshly laundered one. The loose tunic was comfortable and perfect when she didn’t want to feel any constricting fabric over her skin. She was almost grateful she didn’t have a mirror in her room. The last thing she wanted was to see her own gaunt reflection staring back at her. She was almost looking forward to splashing cold water on her face.

 

Moving towards her door, she braced her fingers against the wall for support when the dizziness hit her. Between the nausea, sweats and dizzy spells, she had no idea how she was going to make it out of her room. Leaning against the wall, she took a few deeper breaths and waited until everything stopped spinning. She was still feeling nauseous as she reached for the lock and turned the key. Pulling open the door, she moved slowly into the hall, grateful when the cool air hit her face.

 

Tugging the door closed behind her, she looked around the silent space around her, relieved to see the hall was empty. Usually she came across one or two people who treated her like some kind of heroine. She placated them with a warm smile most times, but other times, some were far harder to shake. Making her way slowly towards the bathroom, she found herself constantly listening for any sounds of unwanted attention before she finally reached the door. The dizziness was wearing off already, but the nausea still clung on. She hadn’t eaten since the night before, and the idea of food just turned her stomach even more. Pushing the bathroom door open she rushed inside, making it to the toilet just in time.

 

000

 

It was early morning in Alexandria and once again, Daryl was already outside the walls. He’d avoided everyone since Carol had left. He hadn’t been able to face questions or deal with the sympathetic looks people seemed to give him now. He felt confined in Alexandria, as if everyone seemed to know what was going through his mind, the invisible bonds of his failure haunting his every step. He’d fucked up so badly. He’d managed to make a huge mess of the only thing he actually gave a damn about in his whole, miserable life. He couldn’t escape her, even though she was no longer here. Her presence was everywhere. Everything around him sparked off a memory. and he just couldn’t get her out of his mind.

 

No one commented when he moved his things into her room. He’d been ready to tell them to mind their own damn business, but no one said a thing. That had angered him even more. He didn’t think any of them could understand what he felt so keenly in his ragged soul. It was a burning need which possessed him fully and completely, the need to be close to her again, now, always. Daryl needed to be among her things, in her space, needed to lie on her cool sheets and let his lungs fill with her scent. It brought him to tears every time, but it was a pain he deserved, one he reveled in because it was his fault. His fault he’d run from her, his fault he’d pushed away from the love she’d so sweetly offered. No one spoke her name anymore, and it grated on his last nerve. Everyone knew it was because of him. He knew people were afraid to mention her for fear of being on the wrong side of his temper, but she wasn’t dead...she was just...gone.

 

He’d spent the first week brooding. His sorrow had turned to anger, and then on to blame. He knew he’d made this whole damn mess himself, but it was easier to accuse everyone around him. Without Carol, he was losing his grip. He hadn’t realised how much he’d needed her, or how she calmed his heart just by her presence alone. She was his anchor to this world...but he’d ruined it all by being so...scared.

 

Every day since she’d left, he’d almost gotten on his bike to go after her. He hadn’t realised just how empty his life would feel without her. She’d been gone before, but not like this...After being with her, making love with her...touching her, kissing her...he couldn’t stop thinking of how she’d made him feel. He didn’t know until she’d left him how he would physically ache for her. He’d never felt anything so powerful, or so devastating. It hurt so much more than anything he’d ever felt before. He’d grieved for his brother...he’d grieved for all of their losses...but this...he felt as if his heart had been ripped right out of his chest.

 

Being outside the walls was the the only place where he could find some semblance of peace. Inside, people irritated him. He missed Carol so much. He’d had a taste of pure bliss...but he’d lost it all by succumbing to his fears. There was no one to blame but himself for this whole mess...and he knew he deserved every ounce of pain her loss brought him. Looking up into the cloudless sky, he tried to think of all the ways he could have apologised to her. He could have gone after her the day she’d left and begged her to give him another chance...but he was a coward when it came to her. She was everything he could never be. She was beautiful and fierce. She was brave; so much braver than him. She knew how to love and she wasn’t afraid of the changes between. She’d embraced it all, and tried to show him he had nothing to fear from her, but he’d run away.

 

“Thought I’d find you out here.”

 

Daryl grunted a greeting, but he didn’t turn around. He knew Rick still blamed him for Carol leaving, even though he hadn’t said it in so many words. Every day without her seemed to increase the tension between them. Rick made no secret he thought he’d made another huge mistake by not following her the day she’d left. He could have fixed this whole mess and found a way to make things right again between himself and Carol, but once again, fear had paralyzed him.

 

“Going to have to take a trip to the Kingdom soon,” Rick’s voice echoed through the silence around them, and he glanced across to the man beside him. “Trade supplies, and... _check_ in on the _people_ there.”

 

“Mhmm,” Daryl nodded, biting on his bottom lip as he considered Rick’s words. He knew what he was suggesting, but he was sure too much time had passed to make amends for what he’d done.

 

“I think you should come with me,” Rick’s voice lowered as he spoke, his eyes watching his brother worriedly. “And before you say anything, just hear me out, okay.”

 

Turning to glance at the man beside him, Daryl caught his eyes briefly before he averted his gaze. “‘M listenin’.”

 

“I don’t know for sure what happened that day Carol left, but I have a pretty good idea…”

 

“Ya don’t know shit,” Daryl snapped, hurt and humiliation creeping over his cheeks. “I did somethin’ stupid...and now she’s gone.”

 

“I know you haven’t been the same since she left.” Stepping closer towards his brother, Rick lowered his head to try and catch Daryl’s eyes. “Can I ask you something without you biting me head off?”

 

Daryl looked at him then, his eyes hollow and tired. “What?”

 

“Did you run because you don’t feel anything for her? Or did you run because you _do?_ ”

 

“I fucked up…I ain’t never felt anythin’ like I did with her...and...I...” Daryl groaned miserably, lowering his head in shame. “It ain’t cuz I don’t...ain’t that…”

 

“Then what?” Rick asked, his eyes looking over Daryl’s still form when a moment of clarity swamped his mind. “Was she...were you…”

 

“What?” Turning towards his brother, Daryl eyed him questioningly when he saw the blush creeping over Rick’s face.

 

“Okay…” taking a breath, Rick felt suddenly like the older brother. “Was Carol your... _first?_ ”

 

“Huh?” Shaking his head, Daryl regarded the man beside him in confusion before he realised what he was asking. “ _No_...what the _fuck_...no…”

 

“I was only asking because I know the first time can be...uh…” swallowing hard, Rick chuckled mirthlessly as he averted his eyes.

 

“It weren’t that, okay... _I_ had sex before... _Jeeze_...”

 

“Okay…”

 

“What d’ya mean, _okay?_ ” Daryl huffed haughtily. “I ain’t no _damn_ virgin.”

 

“Hey, I never meant…” holding his hands up in surrender, Rick took a step backwards before he spoke again. “Do you love her?”

 

Daryl bristled with Rick’s question, but he didn’t move away. He opened his mouth to try and formulate some kind of reply, but Rick pressed him further.

 

“Because if you do, you need to make things right with her.”

 

“She ain’t gonna wanna talk to me,” Daryl huffed, irritated by Rick’s voice. “I messed up.”

 

“You can fix it.” Reaching out, Rick laid his hand on his brother’s shoulder and squeezed reassuringly before dropping his hand. “She’s always come back to you brother..you just have to be willing to _try_.”

 

“I don’t know how,” Daryl snapped angrily, hurt and loss seeping through his words. “For all I know she’s shacked up with that _asshole_ now.”

 

“Now you know that isn’t true,” Rick told him, annoyance seeping through his words. “Carol’s not like that, and _you_ know it.”

 

“I ain’t no good at this shit, Rick,” Daryl groaned, throwing his arms in the air in frustration. “What the hell am I supposed to say to her?”

 

“You could start by telling her you’re sorry,” Rick sighed, hoping his brother could overcome this fear when it came to the silver-haired woman they all loved. “You _are_ sorry?”

 

“Course I’m fuckin’ sorry,” Darly huffed angrily, turning away from the man beside him. “Wish I could take it back, every _damn_ day.”

 

“Then that’s what you tell her. She’s forgiven you for a lot worse.”

 

“Not this,” Daryl’s voice was so soft, Rick almost didn’t hear him at first. “Don’t know if she’ll forgive me this time.”

 

“You won’t know until you try,” moving closer, Rick placed a tentative hand on his brother’s shoulder. “We can leave first light tomorrow...could be there by afternoon.”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“Yeah?” Rick asked cautiously. “That mean you’re gonna try and talk to her?”

 

_Her_ … Carol’s name floated through his mind, bringing images of her along with it. He needed to see her so badly, but he didn’t know what the hell to say or how he was going to even begin apologising. The only thing he knew for sure was how miserable he was without her...and he kind of hoped she felt the same.

 

“Yeah…’M gonna try...” he nodded, Rick’s hand slipped from his shoulder as he bent to retrieve his bow from where it was resting beside the tree stump. “Gonna check the traps.”

 

“Okay,” Rick nodded, watching him as he stalked away. He only hoped Carol would listen to what Daryl had to say when they got to the kingdom. Whatever his brother had done to make her run away, he hoped they could put it behind them. He wanted his family back...both of them…

 

000

 

Carol nodded knowingly when Samantha, the woman in charge of the supplies shared her worries about their depleting resources.

 

“We’re down on everything,” she sighed, shoving the clipboard towards Carol. “We lost so many of our good scavengers in the war...now all we’re left with are the younger ones who don’t know the first thing about anything.”

 

“Okay,” Carol looked down at the list. “I’ll talk to Ezekiel about getting a team together.”

 

“Good luck finding volunteers. Most are too afraid to step outside after everything that happened.”

 

“Well lucky for you, I’m not one of them,” Carol told her nonchalantly. She hadn’t been outside the walls since she’d gotten here six weeks ago. She hadn’t allowed herself to become complacent by any means, but she had allowed herself to wallow in self pity and grief for a while. It was time to move on and get her life back to some kind of order again, and a trip outside could help her to do just that.

 

“Are you sure King Ezekiel will agree to you leaving the kingdom?” Samantha asked cautiously, hoping her comment wouldn’t offend the fierce woman before her.

 

_“What?”_

 

“Sorry...I didn’t mean,” the younger woman was becoming more flustered by the second when Carol’s eyes bored into her. “That came out wrong...I just meant…”

 

“I know exactly what you meant,” Carol snapped, annoyance rampaging through her body. “I don’t have to check with Ezekiel for _anything_ , and if I did, I wouldn’t have stayed here all this time.”

 

“No…” shaking her head, Samantha chuckled nervously and tried again. “He just...he cares about you, that’s all I meant...we all see it.”

 

“Well he shouldn’t.”

 

“Look, I’m sorry,” she offered softly. “I...a supply run would be great.”

 

Carol regarded the younger woman for a moment, trying to quash the irritability that seemed to cling to her more often since she’d come here. Nodding silently, she averted her eyes and willed the sour mood to leave her.

 

“Thank you,” Samantha smiled, taking back the clipboard Carol thrust towards her. “I’ll make a list.”

 

Nodding, Carol turned on her heel but found herself grasping onto the door frame when another wave of dizziness stopped her in her tracks.

 

“Carol,” Samantha was beside her within seconds. “Are you okay?”

 

“Hmm…” Carol muttered as she willed the room to stop spinning. “Just...moved too fast.”

 

“Are you sure? You don’t look too good.”

 

“I’m fine…” Taking a breath, Carol steadied herself, relieved the latest dizzy spell seemed to pass fairly quickly. Standing upright she started to move, ignoring Samantha’s concerned calls behind her.

 

She found Ezekiel in the midst of recounting his heroic adventures to several of the younger children. Each one of them seemed to be enthralled with his tall tales, taking in every word with gasps and wide eyes. He spotted her approaching and waved his hand towards her, causing a few of the youngsters to look in her direction.

 

“And here she comes now, our very own heroine in this adventure.” He grinned at her when she rolled her eyes, gesturing for her to come closer. “Carol is a warrior queen; she’s fearless and brave. She kept me safe when I lost hope...and she showed me all was not lost in this world.”

 

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Carol mused, flushing slightly with the adoration shining in his eyes. “I was just doing what any other _friend_ would do.”

 

“Friend,” Ezekiel nodded, his bright smile unfaltering as he turned his attention back onto the young faces before him. “And that is why we all need good friends in this new world my children...now...back to your mothers...I can see Carol has much to discuss.”

 

Carol shook her head in amusement when one by one, the kids hugged the dreadlocked man. For someone who spouted so much bullshit, he was adored by everyone in the kingdom. She found him endearing at times, but her patience had worn thin during the war. She knew the king was just an act he portrayed for those around him, but for once she wished he would drop the pretense and talk to her like he was a normal human being.

 

“I’ve been speaking with Samantha,” she told him when the last of the little ones had gone. “She’s concerned with the depleting supplies.”

 

“Yes, I am sure,” he nodded. “We lost so many of our gentry in battle.”

 

“I’m going to take a team out west. See if there’s any of the warehouses which haven’t been picked clean yet. I’d like to take Jerry if you can spare him.” Carol watched his eyes widen in surprise, and for a moment she thought he was going to come up with an excuse as to why he thought it was a foolhardy plan.

 

“I should go with you…”

 

“No,” she told him, shaking her head adamantly. “You’re needed here…”

 

“I can not stay behind the walls while my most treasured friends risk everything for the people here.”

 

“You _can_ and _you_ will,” Carol held his gaze, daring him to challenge her. “The people here need to see you. Most are still coming to terms with their losses...you know I’m right.”

 

“Why are you always so wise?” Ezekiel asked her, his eyes brimming with affection as he smiled at her.

 

“I’m a woman,” she shrugged nonchalantly. “We think differently that’s all.”

 

“Yes,” he grinned. “And you do it so well.”

 

“So. I’ll go and find Jerry. We’ll get a small team together and leave this afternoon,” taking a step backwards, she nodded to him before she turned away and went to search for the man who never failed to make her smile.

 

000

 

Jerry was surprisingly enthusiastic about the potential trip. When Carol had approached him earlier that morning to ask him to find people to accompany them, he’d almost fist-pumped the air in excitement. No one had been outside the walls since they had all arrived back here a few weeks ago. Most of the residents were still shellshocked by what had transpired. Losing so many loved ones had hit their community hard, but Carol’s contribution hadn’t gone unnoticed by the people around them.

 

He watched her while she loaded the truck later that afternoon. Carol had been quiet since she’d come back to them. She had never been much of a talker before the war with the saviours, but he’d always held a warm affection for her. She gave off an air of nonchalance, but he knew her better than she thought he did. This woman was an enigma, strong and beautiful. She had shown a bravery which far outshone any others he’d known before her, and he’d silently sworn to protect her that day. Carol hadn’t just saved the life of his king, arriving in a hail of bullets when they found themselves surrounded by the dead; she had saved him too.

 

“We all set?” Carol asked, her voice breaking him out of his reverie.

 

“I think so,” he nodded with a wide grin. “I got us some cobbler for the journey.”

 

The thought of food of any kind seemed to turn Carol’s stomach, but she returned his smile with a bright one of her own. Jerry was the kind of man who worried about nothing. He was fiercely protective of her, and even though she thought it to be completely adorable, she hadn’t needed anyone’s protection in a very long time.

 

“Great,” she told him, smiling despite the queaziness. “Maybe we’ll get lucky and find most of the things on Samantha’s list.”

 

“Yeah,” Jerry nodded, eyeing her curiously when she moved to climb into the passenger seat. “Are you okay?”

 

His question took her by surprise. His voice was so soft and caring towards her, causing her to think of the man she’d left behind in Alexandria. A sudden wave of sadness washed over her, bringing a sting of tears to her eyes, but she frantically tried to blink them away. Turning her face away, she took a few deep breaths before she turned back to face him, nodding silently. She was relieved when he didn’t push her, because she honestly didn’t think she had the strength to speak without her voice breaking. So when he climbed in behind the steering wheel, she prayed to whoever was listening to help her keep her emotions under control.

 

Sitting further back in her seat, Carol sighed when the gates slowly opened and they began to move. The feeling of freedom soared through her, and she realised she hadn’t felt like this since she’d climbed the walls of Alexandria the very first time. Maybe it was time to leave again. She could survive on her own out here, she’d gotten pretty good at it...but the more she thought of leaving, the more she talked herself out of it. The Kingdom needed her more than she needed her freedom. Maybe when the younger teenagers were trained enough, then she would leave. They had been driving for almost half an hour before Jerry’s voice broke through her reverie.

 

“I gotta tell you, Carol, this road trip is kind of exciting,” Jerry chortled as he took his eyes off the road to glance at her beside him. “Been a long time since we’ve done some good old fashioned scavenging.”

 

Despite her sombre mood, Carol couldn’t help but smile at the jovial man. His happy mood never failed to rub off on those around him, and he was a welcome relief for all of the sadness which had dominated her for so long. Jerry started humming along to a tune inside his head, the dulcet tones lulling Carol’s senses. Relaxing back in her seat, her eyes drifted towards the passing trees and she found herself thinking of home. Despite trying so hard to purge him from her heart, Daryl’s face seemed to be imprinted inside her mind. She couldn’t escape him, but maybe in time, his face would fade from her memory, just like her daughter’s had. She was going to be okay...she was going to survive this heartache just like everything else…

 

“Uh...Carol…” Jerry’s voice broke her from her thoughts and she turned to look at him before she followed his gaze.

 

Gasping in a breath, Carol’s mouth dropped open. Blinking a few times she was sure she must be hallucinating...There, coming towards them on the opposite side of the road was a motorcycle. The space around her became a swirling mess, giddiness causing her to cling onto her seat. Panic swamped around her when she felt her limbs growing heavy and her heartbeat thumping wildly in her ear...she slumped back against the seat, her world turning black as she lost consciousness.

 

tbc


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks and lots of love to the amazing CharlotteAshmore for being an amazing beta and friend
> 
> Thanks also to Coreenfw and BettyBubble for reading through and offering suggestions too. Thank you ladies
> 
> Lastly huge thanks to everyone who has read, left kudos and reviewed this

Muffled sounds filtered through the haze of confusion when Carol slowly opened her eyes. A bright light caused her to clamp her eyes closed again, a sting of pain assaulting her senses. Reaching up she tried to push at her unknown assailant, but someone batted her hand away. Opening her eyes again, she gasped in a breath, shoving at the unknown face which suddenly came into focus.

 

“ _Who_ are you?” she hissed as she tried to control the panic coursing through her. “Where am I?”

 

“It’s okay, Carol,” the man told her. “You’re safe.”

 

He reached out to touch her arm, but she shoved him backwards, her hand reaching down to her hip for her knife. When she couldn’t feel it, she tilted her head looking down her body, patting along her clothes for the weapon she somehow knew wasn’t there. Looking around, she realised she was lying on a narrow bed, and she pushed against the soft mattress beneath her, trying to manoeuvre herself upright.

 

“Where are the men I was with? What did you do to them?” she demanded, shaking her head as she slipped further into the self-preservation mode she had perfected over the years. Glancing around the room, she looked for exits...anything she could use to get out of here, but when a door opened and she saw a familiar large man step into the room, she almost cried with relief.

 

_“Jerry?”_

 

“Carol, you’re awake.”

 

“I…” blinking heavily, Carol couldn’t seem to focus. Jerry was here. He wasn’t locked up in a room similar to this one, and he didn’t look distressed. “What’s going on?”

 

“You passed out, don’t you remember?” Moving beside her, the large man regarded her with worry as he caught her hand in between both of his. “We were in the truck and you just...you fell back. If Dwight hadn’t been coming the other way on his motorcycle…”

 

Carol’s mind flashed back to the figure she’d seen coming towards them...She remembered now. They’d been on the road and then...it had looked like...she’d thought it was Daryl...after all this time she’d thought he’d come to find her…

 

Digging her elbows further into the mattress, she slipped her hand out of his grasp and pushed herself upright. Everything felt wrong. She had no idea where she was, or who the new stranger was...all she knew was Jerry seemed to know him, but it didn’t make her feel any better about this whole situation. Carol managed to sit up fully while batting at Jerry’s helping hands. She wasn’t weak, and she certainly didn’t need anyone’s help now. 

 

Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she was hit by a heaviness which seemed to start from her toes. Heat travelled with it, the strange feeling causing her heart to beat faster and she was suddenly gripped in an unknown panic. For a few seconds, a loud squeal penetrated her ears, blocking out every other sound around her. Reaching out, she tried to grasp onto something, anything to quell the swell of fear accompanying the heat sweeping through her body.

 

“Carol?” Jerry asked worriedly when her fingers clamped around his hand. He looked from her ashen face, silently pleading with the man beside her to stop whatever was happening.

 

“I can’t _see_ …” Carol’s stricken voice almost shrieked as she tried to stop herself from falling. She thought she was going to pass out when the darkness encroached her sight, only to clear again a few seconds later. What the hell was wrong with her? Her mother had never told her about this part.

 

With one hand still clinging onto Jerry’s, she clamped her other one onto the side of the bed and held on tightly. The high pitched squeal had diminished along with the heaviness, only to be replaced with another bout of vertigo. Swallowing hard, she tried to take a breath to suppress the rising nausea which never failed to accompany these spells. The last thing she needed was for Jerry to tell Ezekiel she was sick. He would pull her from her classes faster than she could explain this was all normal. She must have been swaying from side to side, because she felt Jerry’s hand squeeze hers a little tighter.

 

“Dizzy?” The other man in the room asked worriedly as he placed a hand on her arm. “Any other symptoms?”

 

“Uh...I…”

 

“It’s okay Carol, he’s a doctor,” Jerry told her softly. “You can trust him.”

 

Looking up at her friend beside her, she tried to offer him a reassuring smile, but she couldn’t seem to move. He was regarding her with concern, his eyes shining with something she couldn’t quite recognise. He seemed to be leaning closer, holding a warm hand over her arm as if he was making sure she was really there.

 

“Where are we?”

 

“You wouldn’t wake up and I didn’t know what to do,” his voice came out in a rush as he squeezed her fingers. “Dwight brought us to the hilltop. It was closer than turning back home.”

 

“We’re at the hilltop?” She asked, her eyes skimming the small room. “Why?”

 

“There’s a doctor and the woman in charge, Maggie. She said she knows you.”

 

“Maggie…” Closing her eyes against another wave of dizziness, Carol pushed at Jerry’s hand and tried to stand, but her legs gave way. He was there within seconds, supporting her weight as he helped her back onto the bed. “I’m fine...just a little dizzy.”

 

“You’ve been dizzy _a lot_ ,” Jerry told her worriedly, his eyes lifting to the doctor standing beside them. “She thinks no one notices, but I do.”

 

“I promise I’m fine,” she muttered, cursing the nausea which wouldn’t seem to go away. “I’m just tired...that’s all. I’ll be fine.”

 

“You hardly eat anything either,” the large man beside her noted, replaying every detail inside his head. “You got sick when the women gutted those fish…”

 

Gasping in a breath, Carol pulled her hand from his only to hold it up to silence him. Just the memory of the fish, with its smells and feel, made her feel worse. Everything seemed to turn her stomach these days, and she’d put it down to all those months on the road without food.

 

“Could you leave us for a moment?” The doctor asked, his eyes lifting to Jerry’s before the hefty man nodded his head. He reached out to Carol one more time when her eyes snapped up to his, squeezing her shoulder as he moved away.

 

“I’ll be outside,” he told her. “You need me, just yell and I’ll be here.”

 

For a moment, Carol almost called after him. Out of all of the new people she’d been with since the war, he was the only one who didn’t make her want to scream. She had her very own protector, and even though she knew she hardly needed anyone’s protection anymore, she was grateful for him anyway. She watched him until he disappeared before she turned towards the man before her and eyed him suspiciously. He reminded her of Pete, the abusive man she’d threatened to kill, so long ago.

 

“So, any other symptoms?”

 

“Uh...I guess,” she sighed as she pushed herself off of the bed. “But I don’t need a doctor. I’m fine.”

 

“Tenderness? Fatigue? Trouble sleeping?”

 

Carol held onto the bed in defiance, ready to deny all of those things. Yes, she’d had all of those and more. He was just making it sound worse than it was, that’s all. She was fine.

 

“When was your last period?”

 

The question was ludicrous. There was no way...Shaking her head, Carol looked up at him chuckling mirthlessly. “It’s not _that_.”

 

“Carol…”

 

“I can’t get pregnant! I’m forty- _six_. I’ve never had regular periods and I could only get pregnant once...just _once_...it never happened again before _or_ after her...so no...I’m not pregnant.” Carol’s heart ached. She hadn’t allowed herself to think of all the times she’d failed to get pregnant before Sophia. Ed had always blamed her for being defective, just another thing which made her so useless. As if this life wasn’t shitty enough already, she had to be reminded from some stranger that her body had always been against her. “It’s menopause...that’s all.”

 

“What makes you think that?”

 

“My mother started hers when she was around my age...and…” Shaking her head in annoyance, she glared up at him. “Why are you asking me all this? It’s menopause, nothing else.”

 

“Okay, so you won’t mind if I examine you then,” Doctor Carson challenged, waiting for her to lie back before he moved closer.

 

“You’re wasting your time,” she told him in exasperation as she lifted her tunic to prove it to him. “You won’t feel anything there.”

 

“Okay,” he nodded, smiling despite her protests. “When did you last have intercourse?”

 

Daryl’s face flashed in her mind, and she flushed with the intensity of her reaction to his memory. Averting her eyes, she sighed heavily when his rejection repeated on a loop inside her head. “A little over six weeks ago.”

 

The doctor smiled despite her denials and pressed down into her firm abdomen. He heard her gasp in a breath when he pressed his fingers into her flesh, finding instantly the undeniable proof that his suspicions were right. Removing his hands, he reached around one of her elbows and helped her to sit up again. “Congratulations!”

 

Carol blinked, her mouth gaping open as she stared at him in disbelief. _“What?”_

 

“Around six weeks, but I won’t know for sure until we can can give you a sonogram. I can’t give you one of those until we get the machine back from the sanctuary,” he told her. “But I’ll have you take a test to confirm it.”

 

“But…” Carol shook her head in confusion. “But I can’t get pregnant...I tried for years. You’ve got to be wrong.”

 

“I’ve been a doctor for over fifteen years,” he assured her. “And I’ve never been wrong yet.”

 

“But…”

 

“I assume the child’s father is different?”

 

The question threw her for a few seconds, but she recovered quickly. Nodding numbly, she tried to process exactly what he was telling her, but nothing was sinking in. She couldn’t be pregnant.

 

“Then I can only assume your previous sexual partner was the one with the problem, because you _are_ pregnant.”

 

“But...I…”

 

Doctor Carson moved towards one of the cupboards and opened one of the drawers. Reaching inside, he pulled out a long box and came back towards her, placing it into her hand. Indicating the door in the far corner he nodded towards it. “There’s a small bathroom just in there.”

 

“And what if you’re wrong?” she asked, unsure whether she wanted him to have made a mistake, or not. “You’re wasting a test on me when someone else might need it.”

 

“I have others,” he told her. “Now, please just take the test.”

 

Carol looked down at the box in her hand and fought to quash the memories of how many times she’d taken tests like these in the past. She’d lost count after a hundred, and this would be no different. Every test she’d taken was negative, until the one time it wasn’t. Looking towards the door, she slid onto the floor and made her way to the bathroom, her legs feeling heavier with every step. This was a total waste of time, it had to be...she couldn’t be pregnant...she just couldn’t...

 

000

 

Outside the medical room, Jerry paced the floor while he waited for Carol to come out of the room. He was afraid for his friend, and so worried the doctor was going to give them all bad news. Carol was so strong; stronger than anyone he’d ever met...but when she’d slumped in her seat back in the truck, he’d panicked. He was thankful for Dwight being there to help him, because he had totally lost it. He’d fought beside the king and taken down the dead in so many different ways...but when Carol collapsed, pale and unconscious, he’d fallen to pieces within seconds.

 

As soon as she came out he wasn’t going to let her go anywhere except home. He’d told the others to go on the run without them and sent word back to the kingdom that Carol was sick. For the hundredth time since they’d gotten here, he wished Ezekiel was here to ease his worries.

 

When the door suddenly opened and Carol stepped outside, he could see by the look on her face that something was wrong.

 

“Carol?”

 

“I…” Shaking her head, she looked up at him and offered him a watery smile. “I’m okay.”

 

“Give this to your doctor when you get back to the kingdom,” Doctor Carson told her as he handed her a folded piece of paper. “If you decide on another option, then we have the facilities here to deal with it.”

 

“I won’t need it,” she told him as she clutched the paper to her chest. “I... _thank_ you…”

 

“You’re welcome,” he smiled. “Good luck.”

 

Before Carol could reply, Maggie moved towards her and pulled her into a tight hug. “You had us all worried. I’ve sent Dwight to Alexandria to bring Daryl…”

 

_“What?”_ shaking her head, Carol drew away and extracted herself from Maggie’s embrace. “You didn’t need to do that. I’m okay...and he won’t come anyway. You should have saved Dwight a trip.”

 

“Of course he’ll come,” Maggie told her with a smile. “Why wouldn’t he?”

 

Carol swallowed at the lump in her throat, desperate to keep the welling emotion at bay. This was all too much at once...she needed time to process...she needed to figure out what she was going to do. Dealing with Daryl before she was ready would be near disastrous, and she just couldn’t do it. Not yet.

 

“We should rejoin the others,” her voice came out in a rush as she looked up at the man beside her. “Are they here?”

 

“Nope...told them to go on ahead without us.” Jerry shook his head and smiled down at her, his eyes sparkling with adoration. “We’ll find them when the doc says it’s okay.”

 

“It’s okay _now_ ,” Carol told him adamantly as she folded the paper the doctor had given her a little smaller. Shoving it into her pocket, she looked at Maggie, forcing her tempestuous emotions away. “We need a car, or a ride to our people.”

 

“Carol, you passed out,” Maggie tried again, looking to Jerry for support, but he just shrugged his shoulders. “At least stay until Daryl gets here.”

 

Shaking her head, Carol could feel the tears welling in her eyes before she could blink them away. To her dismay, a stray tear tumbled over her cheek before she could brush it aside. Hoping she’d caught it before Maggie saw, she met the younger woman’s worried gaze and knew instantly it was too late. She’d seen her weakness, and now Daryl would know it too.

 

“I _can’t,_ ” Carol’s voice was strained as she tried to keep in control. “Seeing _him_...I... _I_ can’t…”

 

Maggie came closer and smiled up at Jerry before she slipped an arm around Carol’s shoulders. “If you go see Jesus, tell him I sent you. He’ll find you a vehicle. I just need to talk to Carol for a minute.”

 

Jerry considered her words and looked to Carol who simply nodded her head. He dallied for a few moments, torn between needing to stay and walking away. If anything happened to her, the king would have his head for sure…

 

“I’m fine,” Carol told him, her voice wavering as she spoke. “I’ll be out there in a minute, okay?”

 

“Okay...but if you’re not…”

 

“I’ll be there,” Carol reassured him as she allowed Maggie to lead her away from the hall and over to one of the chairs lining the wall. She watched the man who had become her friend and offered him a small smile, trying to convince him she would be okay here without his protection.

 

The big man nodded and left them alone, looking back one last time before he disappeared from view. Carol waited for Maggie to speak, but to her surprise, the younger woman slid her arm from her shoulders to reach down to clasp her hand.

 

“Why don’t you want him here?”

 

“Who?” Carol asked softly, turning her head to look at Maggie questioningly.

 

“Daryl.” Maggie squeezed Carol’s fingers as she spoke, leaning against her arm affectionately.

 

“I don’t want to talk about him,” Carol told her softly, even though just saying the words hurt her heart more than they should. “I... _can’t_ …”

 

Maggie was silent for a few moments, regarding the woman beside her with a quiet respect. “What did he do, Carol?”

 

“It doesn’t matter now…”

 

“It does...it matters even more now… _especially_ now...” Maggie looked to make sure they were alone before she leaned in closer. “You’re...Pregnant...aren’t you?”

 

Carol’s eyes flared with shock and she pulled away from Maggie as if her touch had burned her. Shifting in her seat, she got up and began to pace the floor restlessly before she raised her hand to her mouth.

 

“How?” she asked despairingly, looking over her body for any outward sign. “Can you see it?”

 

Maggie shook her head as she got to her feet. “No…”

 

“Then how?” This was disastrous...if everyone knew...if they saw. She wasn’t ready for all of those judgemental looks she knew would be directed at her. She wasn’t ready...

 

“I’m pregnant too in case you hadn’t noticed,” Maggie chuckled softly. “And I kinda guessed when Jerry brought you in...you’re not the kind of woman who just faints for nothing, Carol. Even when we took out those saviours, you were still tougher than I was.”

 

When Carol remained silent, Maggie moved closer and reached out with a tentative hand. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

 

Tears flooded Carol’s eyes and she nodded silently. Everything was such a mess, and she was still trying to process all of it. All those years, Ed had blamed her for being a dried up, barren bitch, and it was him who had been defective all along. If she wasn’t so stressed, she’d find the situation highly amusing, but right now; she couldn’t see the funny side. She had to face facts. She was forty six, alone and pregnant...no, not funny at all.

 

“I don’t know what to do, Maggie,” she gasped out, tears spilling over her cheeks. “I didn’t think I could even…”

 

“Do you want it?” Maggie asked her, keeping her voice soft as she spoke. “Because if you don’t…”

 

“I do,” Carol almost wailed, her words stuttered. “I... _think_ I do…”

 

“Then you’re gonna be just fine…” Pulling the older woman into a hug, Maggie held her close for a few moments before she pulled away but kept hold of Carol’s fingers. “Are you going to tell the father?”

 

“I…”

 

“Because you don’t have to do this alone Carol,” Maggie told her, holding onto her to stop her from pulling away.

 

“ _I_ do…” she all but whispered, cursing the tears which littered her eyes.

 

“Rick told me what happened back at Alexandria. He told me you and Daryl had some kind of fight.” Squeezing her friend’s hand, Maggie offered her a sympathetic smile. “Whatever happened between you two, he would _want_ to be with you to help you through _this_...He loves you. I know he does.”

 

“He doesn’t,” Carol’s voice wavered, the sadness creeping through her words. “Not in the way I want him to...and...I don’t want him to be with me just because of this...I did that once already…”

 

_“Carol…”_ Sudden awareness sparked in Maggie’s eyes as she looked at the woman beside her in shock. “Is it _his?_ ”

 

“You _can’t_ tell him,” Carol warned, yanking her hand away. “I’ll tell him myself when the time is right.”

 

“But this _is_...wow…”

 

“I’m glad you think so,” Carol moaned miserably. “But I’ll be gone before he gets here. It’ll be better for both of us that way.”

 

“Why don’t you just wait?” Maggie pleaded. “He’ll be here...talk to him. Tell him how you feel…”

 

“I _did_...he knows,” Carol whispered brokenly, swiping at the tears on her cheeks. “He doesn’t want me... _it’s_ just how it is.”

 

“I don’t believe that…”

 

Carol pressed her palms against her eyes, hoping to stem the flow of tears that wouldn’t seem to stop. Lowering her hands, she swallowed at the lump in her throat and tried her best to smile. “I’d better go find Jerry before he comes back.”

 

“Carol, please,” Maggie grasped for her, but the older woman managed to avoid her hand.

 

“Thank you Maggie,” Carol told her, forcing the tough mask to fall over her face once more. “For everything...and thank your doctor for me too.”

 

“Don’t leave like this, Carol,” Maggie pleaded, her voice dying on her lips when Carol hurried away.

 

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always huge thanks to CharlotteAshmore for her beta skills
> 
> Thank you also to everyone reading and leaving kudos or comments

Dwight held his arms in the air defensively when Tara reluctantly allowed him entry through Alexandria’s gates. Climbing off the bike, he looked around the compound, hoping to see the person he was looking for so he could pass on the message and get out of here.

 

“I need to see Daryl.”

 

Tara scoffed distastefully when she looked him up and down. She was still on a very thin line where he was concerned. Putting an arrow slowly through his eye was something she’d dreamed about for such a long time. He’d killed the only woman she’d ever loved, for no other reason than just because he could. He’d caused so much unrest within these walls, and no one trusted him either. He may have been instrumental in helping them defeat the saviours, but she still wanted him dead.

 

“Why?”

 

“Is he here? Just go find him, okay,” he hissed, lowering his arms down to his side. “I’ve got a message for him.”

 

“You can tell me. I’ll make sure he gets it.” Tara curled her lip, unable to hide the hatred which rolled off her body in waves. “You’re _not_ welcome here.”

 

Shaking his head, Dwight huffed in frustration as he moved closer. “Look, tell him _or_ don’t, I don’t give a _fuck_...but they need him at Hilltop. That Kingdom woman of his; the one with the grey hair. She’s there.”

 

“Carol?” She asked, suddenly feeling the tension rising in her body. No one had heard of or seen Carol since she’d left a few weeks ago. “Is she okay?”

 

“I don’t know...I think she’s sick or something. Maggie sent me to come get him, so here I am... _telling_ you!”

 

Looking behind her, Tara waved to one of the woman to get her attention, shouting for her to find Daryl and Rick before turning back towards the weasel faced man. She eyed him distrustfully, hatred burning through her.

 

“So why did she send you?”

 

“I was on the road and saw a truck with the big guy from the Kingdom. He flagged me down, practically pulled me off the bike.” Bristling slightly, he spotted the man he was looking for stalking towards him. Standing up a little straighter, he nodded a reluctant greeting to the other man.

 

Tara half turned when Daryl came to a halt beside her, with Rick trailing behind. He regarded the man before them with pure hatred, clenching his fist into a tight ball before he reined in his temper.

 

_“What?”_

 

“Look man, I don’t wanna be here either; I’m just passing on a message from Maggie, that’s all,” Dwight folded his arms across his chest defensively, taking a step backwards. “She needs you at the Hilltop.”

 

“Why the _hell_ does she need me?” Daryl snapped, his patience slipping. He was going with Rick to the Kingdom tomorrow, and he didn’t want to leave it any longer than he’d left it already. “Whatever she wants. It can wait.”

 

“Carol’s at the Hilltop,” Tara blurted out before Dwight could speak. “Maggie sent him to get ya. You have to go Daryl, she’s sick.”

 

Daryl drew in a sharp breath, suddenly feeling off balance. Carol...her name filtered through his senses, her face causing his heart to ache. Lifting his eyes to Dwight, he stared at him blankly before he felt another presence at his side.

 

“Sick? She okay?” He asked, his anger suddenly deflating to be replaced with something else. Carol never got sick...she never slowed down for anything, hell she’d busted all of them out of Terminus single-handedly.

 

“She didn’t look good man,” Dwight told him as he unfolded his arms. “I went with them to Hilltop and then came here to get you.”

 

“We’ll take the car,” Rick nodded, squeezing Daryl’s shoulder in support as he looked around him. “I’ll get you there, brother.”

 

“Nah...gonna take the bike,” Daryl told him, his voice hissing through his lips. Turning towards his motorcycle where it was parked beside Aaron’s old house, he waved off his brother’s protests. “Load up the car and follow behind. I can get there faster on my own.”

 

“Daryl…”

 

“ _Nah_ …” Daryl growled, waving off Rick’s protests. Climbing onto the bike he turned the ignition and glanced briefly at his brother before he nodded to Tara when she slid the gate open.

 

“I’ll be right behind you,” Rick told him, his voice fighting to be heard over the roar of the bike. He watched on as the motorcycle moved, taking the lone rider, his brother, out of the gates. Worry etched his eyes and he found his gaze drifting to the straggly haired man who had come to them despite the hostility he still faced here. Nodding his thanks he turned away. If Dwight had been expecting thanks or some kind of acceptance then he wouldn’t be getting it from anyone here.

 

“I’m heading back to the Sanctuary,” Dwight announced, not really expecting a reply. “I...uh…”

 

“It was a good thing you did... _but_...don’t think for one minute it makes right what you did with Negan, either,” Rick told him, reeling off the words that were the closest to a thank you the grizzly man would get from him. Turning away, his thoughts turned to the Hilltop and to the woman they all loved. He prayed after all they’d been through, whatever was wrong with her could easily be cured...Daryl wouldn’t survive her loss...not this time…

 

000

 

Carol’s heart was racing. She was pregnant... _pregnant_. She had no idea how she was going to be able to do this again. Could she go through with a healthy pregnancy at her age? There were risks too, especially for a woman like her. Sophia had been delivered by C-section, and they’d both almost died. What if things went wrong again? What if the baby died inside her and turned? She didn’t have the best track record with children in her care. Every single one was gone, and _now_ she had a new one to think about. Not to mention how she was going to break the news to the man responsible for all of this.

 

Lowering her hand to her flat stomach, she tried not to think of everything that could go wrong. In this world there were no guarantees anymore...but within all the hate and carnage, she had this new life growing inside her. Her child was a miracle; one she never thought she would ever have again. She’d conceived through an act of love, despite how fleeting it had been. She still felt it...the love burned within her, no matter how much she tried not to feel it. This baby was the undeniable proof she hadn’t imagined it, or conjured up a love and attraction that wasn’t there. Someone had wanted her, albeit briefly, but it was enough for her to mutter a silent _fuck you_ to her dead husband, wherever he was now.

 

_“Carol!”_

 

The sound of her name, spoken with such elation, brought a genuine smile to her lips. Lifting her eyes, she greeted Jerry with an affectionate grin. This man never failed to ease her troubled mind. He was always there; her silent protector. He’d offered her his friendship even when she hadn’t wanted it. She’d rebuffed his attempts to get closer to her...but he’d never once given up.

 

“Hey, Jerry,” she greeted, before nodding towards Jesus who stood by his side. “Jesus…”

 

“It’s good to see you again,” Jesus greeted, his eyes lingering over her pale face. “Are you sure you should be leaving so soon? You don’t look too good.”

 

“I’m fine,” she told him, unable to stop the annoyance from slipping through her words. She knew he meant well; they all did...but she didn’t need their concern. She was going to be just fine on her own.

 

“You sure?” Jerry asked softly, his eyes flitting between her and the other man. “Because if you want to stay…”

 

“No,” Carol told him, her voice breaking through his as she took her knife from his offered hands and pulled open the car door. “Let’s go.”

 

Jerry exchanged a worried glance with Jesus before he shrugged his shoulders in resignation. Despite there being no official ranks between them, Carol had already established herself as a leader, regardless whether she wanted it or not. Shaking his head at the other man’s soft protests, he held up his hand to silence him as he walked around to the driver’s side door. Pulling it open, he offered Jesus a wide grin. 

 

“She’s the boss…”

 

Jesus watched as the large man climbed in behind the wheel and sighed. He had no idea why he cared so much when he didn’t really know her at all, but there was something about the silver haired woman which made him want to help. Stepping back, he held up his hand to bid them farewell, and watched silently as the car began to move. No matter what his reservations were, none of them mattered now anyway. He watched silently as they left the compound, only turning away when the gates began to close behind them.

 

Jerry glanced across the seat as he drove, desperate to fill the silence which seemed to linger between them. The Hilltop was growing smaller in the rearview mirror, and he fought with every single instinct telling him turn the car around.

 

“So...where to?” he asked, grinning despite the worry in his heart.

 

“We meet up with the others,” she told him officiously, keeping her eyes firmly on the road ahead. “We find the supplies Samantha asked for, and we take them back...same as before.”

 

“Carol…”

 

“I told you already, _I’m_ fine,” she groused, turning her eyes to meet his for the first time since they’d left Hilltop. “I don’t want Ezekiel knowing anything about this, either, you got that?”

 

“He’ll find out,” Jerry told her on a sigh. “Whether it’s from me or someone else, he’ll want to know. He cares about you, you know. We all do.”

 

“I know,” she nodded, her hard voice slipping when the sudden sting of tears gathered in her eyes. Turning her face away, she swallowed hard and tried to focus on the passing trees as she cursed herself for being so emotional.

 

Jerry reached across the seat, his hand closing over her shoulder, squeezing gently while he kept his eyes on the road ahead. He knew she was hiding something, but he respected her enough not to question her about it. Easing his hand away, he placed it back onto the steering wheel and smiled brightly as he started to hum another tune.

 

Carol swallowed back the lump in her throat and lifted her fingers to swipe at the lone tear rolling down her cheek. She knew he’d seen her tears, and she was thankful he’d chosen not to press her further. Settling back in her seat she kept her eyes focused on the passing scenery.

 

“Thank you,” she spoke, her soft voice causing him to break his humming for a few seconds, before he started again, this time more jovial and louder. She couldn’t help but smile this time...despite the turmoil causing havoc inside her, Jerry always had a way about him which made her feel just a little bit more...human. So, instead of talking, she closed her eyes and allowed his soft tone to lull her senses...and she found herself drifting away into a world where love and happiness still existed…

 

000

 

Daryl was stressed beyond belief by the time he reached the hilltop. Every kind of scenario had played out in his head on the way here. His imagination had taken him from a small semblance of worry, on to a full mountain of it. When the gates opened for him to enter, he was caught between panic and near hysteria.

 

Maggie was there to meet him when he pulled the bike to a stop. Her presence sent him into a blind panic. If she was out here, then things couldn’t be good. Climbing off the bike, he rushed towards her, his eyes wide and full of worry, but he stopped in his tracks when she reached out a hand to stop him.

 

“She’s gone.”

 

Daryl’s mouth dropped open and he felt his knees give way. Maggie’s eyes were filled with tears, and all he could think was that he was too late.

 

“What...no... _no_ , she can’t…” his voice was stuttered, lost between grief and disbelief. “I...”

 

“Daryl?”

 

“She can’t be gone…” Shaking his head from side to side, Daryl took a step backwards when she reached for him. Tears stung his eyes, and it took him a few moments to realise Maggie was saying his name over and over, her voice slowly filtering through.

 

“No...no, she’s not dead. _God_ I’m so sorry,” she gasped out. “Daryl, she’s okay...she just isn’t here anymore.”

 

“What?” he sniffed, batting at the wetness on his cheek. Swallowing hard, he lifted his eyes to look around him, expecting to see her amongst the people here.

 

“She said you wouldn’t come,” Maggie told him softly, watching for his reaction when the words sank in. “She said you wouldn’t want to see her.”

 

Shaking his head, Daryl couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Of course he wanted to see her. He had thought of nothing else since the day he’d left her alone in her bed. How could she think he wouldn’t…

 

“Where is she?” he asked quickly, knowing he had to settle things between them if he had any kind of hope to fix this whole mess. “Maggie…”

 

“I don’t know,” she sighed, her eyes following him when he deflated before her. Reaching out to still his movements, she stepped a little closer. “But she’s going back to the Kingdom...you could get there before she does…”

 

Daryl swallowed heavily and closed his eyes. Everything was so messed up. He’d managed to take the one thing that was good in his whole damn life and he’d ruined it because he was afraid. Opening his eyes, he looked up into the cloudless sky as if the answer would appear before him. If he went to the Kingdom without Rick, would she even agree to talk to him?

 

“She needs you, Daryl,” Maggie’s soft voice filtered through his thoughts, but her words sparked his worries further.

 

“What?” he asked, unable to shake the rising panic that caused his heart to beat a little faster in his chest. “She told ya what’s wrong?”

 

“She didn’t tell me anything,” she told him, unable to hide the slight scolding tone as she spoke. “All I know is no matter what she says to _you_ or any one of _us_ , she _needs_ you.”

 

Daryl pondered on her words. Part of him wanted to lash out at someone, scream accusations around to anyone who hadn’t stopped Carol from leaving. Maggie’s cryptic words filled him with so many unanswered questions. He was terrified of what he was going to find when he finally saw Carol again. If she sent him away...or...worse…

 

“We were gonna go to the Kingdom,” he started, his voice rough with emotion. “Rick and me...I was gonna try and talk to her, ya know...put things right…”

 

“You still can,” Maggie smiled, the gentleness in her voice pulling his eyes back to her.

 

“Ya don’t know what I did…”

 

“I know she loves you,” she told him, squeezing his arm as she spoke. “Even if she doesn’t want to talk to you right now, you have to keep trying Daryl. You have to stay wherever she is and keep trying.”

 

“Whose words are ya spouting?” he asked, chuckling despite the ache in his heart. “Don’t sound like yours.”

 

“Daddy,” she grinned. “He used to fight with my mom over stupid things sometimes...but he always stayed right by her side until she accepted his apology!”

 

“Hershel did that?”

 

“He did,” she smiled. “And if he was here, he’d tell you the same thing...if someone is worth fighting for, you’ll do anything.”

 

Before Daryl could formulate any kind of reply, the sounds of an approaching vehicle had the gates opening to allow it entry. Standing beside Maggie, Daryl watched as the truck came to a stop, and Rick opened the door to climb out. Nodding towards his brother, he stood back a little, allowing Rick to greet the woman by his side.

 

“She ain’t here,” Daryl groused, answering the question before Rick had time to ask when he turned to him. “Gonna head to the Kingdom, she’ll be there.”

 

“Okay,” Rick nodded, watching his brother worriedly when he moved around them to look towards his motorcycle. “We’ll go today…”

 

“I gotta go now,” Daryl told him with a wave of his hand. “Follow behind, or go later, whatever ya want, I just gotta go…”

 

“Daryl...wait…”

 

“Nah...not waitin’ any longer. I done too much of that already.” Mounting his bike, Daryl looked back at Rick and Maggie, nodding towards the two of them before he started the bike. Without another backwards glance, he stopped at the gates waiting for them to open, his mind set on finding the woman he loved and setting things right.

 

000

 

Jerry and Carol caught up to the others a short time later. Carol had been fighting nausea all the way. Every bump caused her stomach to lurch, but she tried to fight it. She was more than grateful when Jerry parked the car beside the truck, flinging the door open. Climbing out of the car she drew in a breath, hoping the cool air would quell the nausea which seemed to affect her worse since she’d learned of her pregnancy.

 

She found her hand drifting down to her stomach, unconsciously nestling her palm protectively over her unborn child. If the others had noticed her distraction, none of them mentioned it, so she busied herself with the task at hand. The warehouse had been practically picked clean already, but other times in the past they’d found oddments overlooked by others who came before them. Keeping her eyes open for any dangers, Carol glanced up to see Jerry walking parallel to her, his eyes scanning the empty shelves.

 

Stopping at a small section, Carol’s mind wandered as her gaze picked over the shelves. She’d stopped believing in god a long time ago, but there were pockets of faith, pricking at her conscience when she least expected it. Years ago she would have prayed for some kind of sign, hoping the heavens would provide an answer to her plight. During her darker months when she’d secluded herself, she had turned to god once more. She’d asked for a sign, something to help her make sense of it all...though she’d never expected an answer. She had committed some of the worst sins after all...but when all hope was lost and she hadn’t thought she could fight any more, Daryl had appeared at her door.

 

He had been the one light in all of this darkness. She’d focused on him from the moment she’d set eyes on him back at the quarry. Between his shy smiles and raging temper, she’d fallen for him before she’d even known it was happening. She’d tried to rationalise it. He’d been the first man to show her kindness after a life of misery...of course she would feel something...but after a while, she’d realised it went far deeper than infatuation. She loved him...always would...even though he didn’t love her back, not in the way she wanted.

 

Dropping her hand down to her stomach once more, she found herself silently asking for one more sign. Was she doing the right thing by wanting this child? Could she even bring a baby up in a world where the dead were walking, and humans killed each other with new, torturous ways. What did she even have to offer? This poor child was doomed before it was born; unlucky enough to have two parents who couldn’t even communicate with each other any more.

 

Looking up to the top of one of the shelves, she almost cheered with excitement when she saw what looked like some large boxes teetering on the edge of the metal shelving. She looked around for something with which she could use to pull them down, but before she could move, Jerry was by her side. Reaching up, he hooked an edge with his axe and gave it a tug. It slid off with a few hard pulls, tumbling off the ledge to fall with a thud into his waiting arms.

 

“Wow, it’s heavy,” he grinned as he set it on the ground. “You look inside and I’ll get the other two.”

 

Slipping her knife off her belt, Carol slid the tip into the tape and sliced through it before pulling open the flaps. The breath almost left her the second she looked inside. She’d asked for a sign and here it was. Her questions had been answered loud and clear...Reaching inside the box her fingers traced over the plastic wrapping and the baby’s face grinning up at her.

 

“Diapers?” Jerry asked, slightly disappointed with the find. “Same in these other two boxes.”

 

“No, they’re great,” she told him with the first genuine smile she’d felt in days. “These are perfect.”

 

“You sure?” he asked dubiously, even though he was mounting the boxes into an empty cart. “I know we’ve got young ones back home...but…”

 

“No, they’re a good find,” she told him jovially, feeling rejuvenated for the rest of their search. “Anything is good, right?”

 

Jerry watched her curiously, a slow smile lighting his face. Nodding, he fell into step with her, walking along the rest of the shelves to see if there were any other treasures to go with the ones they’d already found.

 

It was several hours later when they finally returned to the Kingdom. Jerry and Carol travelled in the car behind the truck, happy with the items they’d been able to scavenge. Several tubes of toothpaste, women’s sanitary products and the diapers may not have been much for the two hours they’d spent looking...but at least they hadn’t returned empty handed.

 

The gates opened to allow them entry and Jerry drove the car into the Kingdom’s compound before stopping the car alongside the truck. Turning to the woman beside him, he started to speak her name, but she was staring at something in the opposite direction. Following her gaze, he was curious to see what had caught her attention...and his eyes fell onto a familiar looking redneck who was standing beside a stationary motorcycle, staring right back.

 

tbc


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my wonderful beta CharlotteAshmore, and to BettyBubble and Coreenfw for the second read-through
> 
> Thank you too for the kudos and comments on this. I have been asked to post this over at fantiction.net, I don't post my Caryl stuff there now, but if anyone wants posted over there then please let me know.

Carol was paralysed...she hadn’t had enough time to deal with her emotions for seeing Daryl, not yet. She’d left Alexandria to avoid seeing him, and practically ran from Hilltop when she knew Maggie had sent for him...but here he was, his mere presence stealing all of the air from her lungs. It wasn’t fair he still had the power to take her breath away. For six weeks she had managed to reconcile with her loss. She’d managed to make her heart feel less battered, but seeing him now, watching her so intently...everything came flooding back in one powerful wave.

 

Jerry nudged her shoulder when she didn’t respond, his eyes flitting between her and the man who began walking towards the car. Worry piqued his senses when the woman beside him drew in a sharp breath, and he was out of the car before he could rationalise it. Within moments he was standing by her door, eyeing the other man suspiciously as he folded his arms across his chest.

 

If Daryl was intimidated by Carol’s self imposed protector, then he made no indication of it. His eyes were fixed firmly on hers as he closed the distance between them. He’d practiced the speech inside his head over a thousand times already...but seeing her again, looking so beautiful and so...perfect...everything he was going to say to her just seemed to disappear. He wanted to fall to his knees before her and beg her forgiveness for the stupid thing he’d done. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her over and over that he loved her, until she believed him... but seeing her eyes holding so much apprehension brought him to a standstill, frozen to the ground before he could reach her.

 

“Carol?” Jerry tapped on her window and bent a little lower to open the door. “You want me to send him away?”

 

The mere thought of never seeing Daryl again, hurt, so much more than she knew it should. Shaking her head, she tore her gaze from the man who had caused her so much heartache, and instead focused on her friend. “No...I’m okay.”

 

Pushing the door open a little more, Carol shifted in her seat and stepped out of the car. Her whole body was trembling when Jerry took her hand to help her out, and she found herself holding onto his fingers with a vice like grip. She didn’t release him until she was fully out of the car, but she stayed close by his side. Lifting her eyes to his, she nodded her thanks before she turned back towards the man she couldn’t seem to purge from her heart.

 

“Maggie said ya left.”

 

Carol stared at him for a long moment. The nervousness she’d been trying to keep at bay were suddenly transformed, raging through her body in uncontrollable fire. After all this time...after he'd left her within seconds of having sex...treating her no better than nameless a one night stand. Those were his first words to her?

 

“Wasn’t any reason for me to stay,” she told him coolly, congratulating herself for keeping her voice steady as she spoke.

 

“She said ya was sick.” He moved towards her, his eyes drinking her in. “Carol?”

 

Carol turned to Jerry who was standing guard beside her and offered him a soft smile. Reaching out, she patted his arm, nodding to reassure him she was really okay. Her legs felt like they were lead-lined as she moved away from him, and began to take a step towards the man who was watching her so intently. He was so confusing. If she didn’t know better she would swear she could see love mirrored in his eyes, but she quashed those feeling before they could take hold. He didn’t want her that way, and it was time she stopped pretending he did.

 

“I’m fine,” she told him, trying desperately to keep her torrid emotions at bay. “I just...I’m fine…”

 

“Ya don’t look fine…”

 

“Well I _am_ ,” she groused, her words coming out more snippy than she’d intended. Turning her head, she looked towards the others who were unloading the truck before she turned back to him again. Her eyes drank him in, trailing over his body with an appreciative gaze...He still looked so good. She’d tried to forget him, to banish his image from her mind...but she just couldn’t do it...she’d loved him for so long; he was ingrained in her memory...and she realised in that moment, she had always been doomed to fail. “Why are you here, Daryl?”

 

Daryl drew in a sharp breath. He’d run from her because he’d been so terrified of his body's reaction to her. He hadn’t meant to run from her. When he’d visualised their first time, never in his wildest dreams did he ever think it could be so...consuming. Sex had never felt like that before, never...and when she left before he could explain himself, he’d allowed frustration and fear to dominate him for far too long, resigning himself to his loss...but when Dwight brought the message from Maggie, every ounce of apprehension he’d had about all of this had simply fallen away. He loved her, and up until now he hadn’t realised just how much... he’d missed her, and despite what she must think of him now, he wanted to be with her more than he needed to breathe. Seeing her again only reminded him she was _everything_ to him…

 

“I…” he started, but he didn’t know how to put it all into words. He wasn’t good at voicing his feelings. It had been ingrained into him from a very young age that feelings were for pussies ... but he didn’t want to mess this up and risk losing her again, so he tried again, for her. “I wanted to check on ya...make sure ya were doin’ okay.”

 

Carol watched him falling over his words, and her heart begged for her to listen to what he was telling her. Part of her still wanted to tease him like she’d done so long ago, but maybe those days were gone forever now. She still carried those same feelings within her, bubbling just under the surface despite trying so hard to bury them. Why couldn’t she just...let him go?

 

“As you can see, _I’m_ fine,” she told him, forcing those harsh words through her lips. Despite how much he’d hurt her, she still loved him too much to want to hurt him right back...that wasn’t her way, it never had been. She had to get away from him before she said something she would later regret. Words spoken in anger were always the hardest to take back...and she refused to intentionally hurt him just because she was in so much pain.Tearing her eyes from his, she turned towards the truck, intending to help unload the things they’d found. Sliding a hand over the edge of the large box, he was beside her before she could lift it.

 

His fingers brushed against hers as he grasped hold of the large box, and the intensity of that simple touch caused both of them to look at each other with a burning gaze. Pulling away, Carol tried to keep her eyes from displaying how much she still loved him...She couldn’t let him in again...No matter how much he tried to show her he wanted to try and repair the damage he’d caused. So she stepped back and tried her best to enjoy this brief reprieve because she knew the second he knew about the baby, he was going to run again. Only this time she would be prepared for it.

 

“Where do ya want this?”

 

Carol glanced towards Jerry who grasped one of the other boxes in his arms and she nodded in his direction. “Follow Jerry...he’ll show you where to take it.”

 

Daryl’s soft grunt kept her eyes on his retreating form. Sudden images burst into her mind, bringing a surge of heat right along with it. Her body still reacted to him even now...as if they were connected by more than just their one and only sexual encounter. He’d made her feel things she hadn’t ever felt before. He’d awoken a part of her she thought was long gone...but she couldn’t dwell on that now. He would be gone again soon, and he’d take another piece of her right along with him. Letting him go had always been the hardest part for her, but she was determined to do it this time, if not for herself, then for the child she carried. This baby would never know rejection, and she wasn’t going to expose it to a father who wouldn’t want it either...she’d done that once before. This was her second chance, and she wasn’t going to waste it, not this time. Grabbing the last small box from the truck, she sighed in defeat. Whatever way she did this, it was still going to end in heartache.

 

She still had to find a way to tell him...and it was that part which was the most terrifying. They’d never spoken about contraception that night...but he hadn’t stayed long enough to ask...Perhaps he just assumed as she did, that she was just too old for all of this anyway. Maybe he would leave before she had a chance to tell him about the baby… and then she was hit by a ridiculous notion of announcing the birth when their child was say... _eighteen_...The more she thought about it, the more appealing it sounded. By the time she arrived at the store room to catch up with the others, she was already feeling nauseous.

 

When she offloaded the box she held to Samantha, Carol couldn’t miss the way the other woman’s eyes raked over Daryl’s body. She was suddenly struck by a pang of jealousy, but she desperately tried to quash it. Jealousy was a pointless emotion, and it didn’t solve any of her problems. She was _still_ pregnant and alone, that wasn’t going to change because her heart wouldn’t let Daryl go. To his credit though, he didn’t notice the other woman, and she was thankful he seemed to keep all of his focus centred around her. They had barely spoken, not about the things which mattered anyway. They might never speak about what happened that night...and if she wasn’t carrying around the proof of their night together inside her, she may have been inclined to deny it had ever happened. She was so lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t hear him saying her name until he was close enough to touch her.

 

“Carol…”

 

His rough voice broke through her inner rambling, and she lifted her eyes to find his face impossibly close to hers. Jerking away slightly, she tried to put some distance between them. His touch still burned...it _still_ made her heart and body ache for him. She knew they needed to talk about what happened, but part of her was afraid of hearing him voice all the ways she wasn't good enough. She knew her body was unattractive...she could barely look at the patchwork of scars covering her breasts, herself. She knew he’d been repulsed by her...but hearing him say it out loud...she didn't know if she was strong enough to hear it. She could walk him back to his bike and have the conversation there. It would hurt a little less if he just got on his motorcycle and left as soon as it was over. But being out in the open gave them no privacy. There were very few places in the kingdom where they could talk without being overheard, and the only place she could think of was her tiny little room. Her arms hung by her side in a desperate effort not to touch him. So, she gestured for them to leave the storeroom and ushered him out of the door.

 

“Was thinkin’,” he started, his voice stuttering nervously when they stopped just outside. “If ya want, I could go back to yer house with ya...talk...or…”

 

“It’s gone,” she told him, her soft voice breaking through his. “The saviours destroyed it...so...I guess I live...here. For now, anyway.”

 

“Oh…” Daryl shifted on his feet, clasping and unclasping his hands. “I thought…”

 

“What?” she asked, undecided if she was ready for him to continue. She watched him for a few heart stopping moments, afraid of the way he was watching her, until she couldn’t take it any more. “Daryl?”

 

LIfting his eyes to hers, he regarded her for a few moments before he gave into his instincts and stepped closer. Reaching out a hand, his fingertips grazed her arm and a surge of heat tore through him like an electric charge. He held her gaze, caught in her magnetic pull and all he wanted to do was tell her everything right in that moment...but before he could formulate any kind of words, they were interrupted by the untimely arrival of the self proclaimed king, and the moment was gone.

 

“Carol,” Ezekiel’s voice boomed merrily as he came to stand beside her to slide an arm possessively over her shoulders. Turning his attention towards his rival he nodded in greeting. “And...you my _friend_. It is good to see you again.”

 

Carol extracted herself from Ezekiel’s unwanted attentions and stepped away from his grasp. She could feel the air between the two men becoming tense and stiff, and she was more than grateful when Jerry returned to her side to break the tension.

 

The paper the Hilltop doctor had given her seemed to burn inside her pocket, as if its mere presence was announcing to everyone around her that she was pregnant. Her whole body ached and she suddenly felt incredibly fatigued. The tension around the two men seemed to arc between them, and for a moment Carol wanted to berate the pair for putting her in this position. She didn’t belong to either of them...so this display of testosterone only made her all the more determined to walk away and leave both of them to fight it out amongst themselves.

 

Turning towards Jerry, she nudged his arm and nodded towards the storeroom, hoping he would take the hint and come up with an excuse for them to leave. He looked down at her questioningly, realising what she was asking a few moments later...but before they could move, Ezekiel spoke again, his question freezing her in her tracks.

 

“Carol...once again you take my breath away…”

 

Swallowing hard, Carol regarded him coolly before her eyes flittered towards the other man. His eyes flashed with something she couldn’t quiet recognise, but when Ezekiel reached for her again, she ducked out of his grasp.

 

“Zeke…”

 

“I merely meant to thank you. You took our people out and found treasure when there was none to be found by others…” his grin widened as nodded to her affectionately.

 

“There’s no need,” she told him with a shrug of her shoulders, fully intending to rebuke his words. But before she could berate him for overacting his role as king, he spoke again, this time turning his attention towards Daryl.

 

“So what brings you here?” Ezekiel asked, knowing his warm smile seemed to irritate the other man. “Did you travel back with my people?”

 

“The _fuck?_ ” Daryl growled, his voice hissing through his lips. “Carol ain’t _your_ people.”

 

“I apologise,” Ezekiel smiled, holding his arms up in surrender. “She seems settled here, and she has come to mean a great deal to all of us here.”

 

“Yeah, well she means a _lot_ to her _family_ too.”

 

Carol shook her head in annoyance and glared at the two men. She had never been the object of any man’s affections before, and now she seemed to have two of them. Folding her arms across her chest, she watched, silently seething.

 

“ _She_ is standing right here,” Carol growled, her voice bringing their attention onto her. Both men looked at her sheepishly, backing down from their self made rivalry.

 

Ezekiel recovered first, breaking into a wide smile as he reached out to slide a hand over her arm. “Forgive me, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

 

“‘M sorry too,” Daryl told her, his gravelled voice having the same effect on her as it always did. “...I came cuz Maggie said yer was sick.”

 

“I’m fine…” Carol told him on a sigh. “Maggie got it wrong. I’m okay.”

 

“S’not what _she_ said,” Daryl told her, noting how Ezekiel’s eyes flared with worry at this news.

 

“Carol?” Ezekiel’s voice was etched with concern as he squeezed her arm affectionately.

 

“I just...I got sick...that’s all,” she protested. “It’s nothing.”

 

“You passed out,” Jerry chimed in, shrugging his shoulders at her when she shot him a treacherous glare. “I’m sorry, Carol...but you scared me, _and_ you scared Maggie.”

 

“I told you, I’m fine,” she hissed, frustrated by all three of them. Shaking off Ezekiel’s hand she stepped back, but the quick movement caused her stomach to lurch. She needed to get away before they saw her lose the meagre meal she’d eaten...wait...when _had_ she eaten last?

 

“I know you,” Daryl countered, his soft voice tinged with fear. “You ain’t never passed out for nothin’. Even when ya dealt with Hershel’s knee, or stitched me up when I caught my arm on wire…”

 

“I didn’t eat, that’s all,” she blurted, hoping to placate all three of the men who seemed to be moving closer. “It’s nothing.”

 

Jerry’s eyes sparked with regret when he remembered how he’d offered her cobbler for breakfast, but she’d collapsed before she could eat. Holding up a hand, he indicated for her to wait right there as he turned on his heel and raced away to retrieve the sealed tub of cobbler from the truck.

 

“We’ve been hungry before,” Daryl challenged suspiciously, moving even closer. “All those months we were on the road...we were barely survivin’ on a handful of berries to share between all of us...ya never passed out then…”

 

“Daryl…”

 

“What ain’t ya tellin’ me?” he pushed, his voice rising a little in volume when he thought of every illness she could possibly be inflicted with. “Carol...please…”

 

“Please _what?_ ” The words hissed from her lips as she fixed him with a steely glare. How dare he come here and claim to know her when it was clear he never knew her at all? “What Daryl? _What? Tell me!_ ”

 

“Daryl is merely concerned…” Ezekiel started, only to be silenced when both Daryl and Carol turned to offer him a deadly glare. Holding his hands up in surrender, he took a step away and smiled in relief when Jerry returned to them holding the sealed container in his hands.

 

“I saved it for you,” he beamed, unsealing the lid and thrusting the tub towards Carol triumphantly. “Go on, you need to eat.”

 

The sweet smell hit Carol’s senses first, swirling around and conjuring up all kinds of repulsive foods which made her feel even worse. Her stomach churned and she clamped her eyes closed, hoping she could stop the nausea if she couldn’t see the food. It wasn’t working though, and the more she pushed the idea of food away, the stronger her sense of smell became. Opening her eyes, she raised a hand to her mouth and turned away from all three men while she sought out the fastest way to escape them.

 

Leaving them behind her, she began to move, willing her feet to do the same. She could hear her name, the sound of it echoing around her when the dizziness hit. She reached out to hold onto the wall, using it as leverage to guide her away, but she couldn’t seem to move fast enough.

 

“I’m fine,” she mumbled automatically, batting at the hands that were trying to hold her upright. “I’m…”

 

Her heartbeat thumped wildly in her ears, suddenly drowning out all of the other sounds around her. Opening her mouth she tried to protest once more that she was really alright, but all three men seemed to be near her at once. Gasping in a breath, the whoosh in her ears drowned out Daryl’s voice, and she found herself grasping for him despite needing to flee. She knew what was coming next and she tried desperately to prepare...but her knees gave way before she could react. Strong arms closed around her before she could hit the floor, and the rough voice she loved so much whispered in her ear.

 

_“Carol…”_ Daryl hissed, his voice frantic as he held her against his body. “Carol…”

 

“The doctor,” Ezekiel gasped out, his voice losing all kingly pretense when he rushed forward. “Let us take her.”

 

“Nah,” Daryl growled, shaking his head. “I got her.”

 

“This way,” Ezekiel nodded, pushing forward and indicated for him to follow. 

 

Daryl hoisted her up effortlessly into his arms, unable to miss the longing looks Ezekiel was casting towards the woman he held. Shaking off the pang of jealousy, Daryl clutched her tighter against him. Whatever was wrong, she was going to be okay. Carol was strong, she’d beaten so much worse. Placing his lips against her ear, he whispered her name over and over, repeating she was going to be okay, before her eyes closed and her head fell back.

 

000

 

By the time they reached the infirmary, all three men were practically clambering over each other to demand the doctor see her. Carrying her towards the bed, Daryl carefully placed her onto the soft mattress and threaded his fingers through the soft strands of her hair.

 

“She just passed out,” his words gushed out, unable to tear his eyes from Carol’s pale face. “And Jerry said she collapsed before too.”

 

“Yeah, she did, doc,” Jerry told him, his voice shaking as he spoke. “We took her to the doctor at hilltop.”

 

“Okay,” the doctor nodded calmly, lifting his gaze onto each of the men in turn. “And did she give you any indication on what was wrong?”

 

“No,” Jerry wailed, shaking his head hopelessly until he remembered a small detail he’d forgotten about until now. “He gave her something to give you, she uh...put it in her shirt pocket.”

 

Daryl shoved the doctor’s hand aside before he could reach into the pocket which rested just over the swell of her breast. He wouldn’t allow some stranger to touch her...not while she was like this. Reaching into the pocket himself, he pulled out the folded paper and looked down at it curiously before he handed it to the man standing across from him. He watched silently, his fingers absently stroking Carol’s arm while the doctor unfolded the paper only to nod with a knowing smile.

 

“What is it. doc?” Jerry asked worriedly, moving closer towards the bed. “Is she…”

 

“She’s fine,” the doctor nodded. “Now if you gentlemen would like to wait outside, I’d like to examine my patient.”

 

“I ain’t leavin’,” Daryl protested, shaking his head adamantly. There was no way he was leaving her here alone like this, especially when she was sick.

 

“Neither am I,” Ezekiel’s voice seemed to echo through the room, as he came to stand beside Daryl in a united front. “This woman is...special, to all of us, doctor.”

 

Shaking his head, the physician looked at all three men in turn, trying to decide which one of them was responsible for this woman’s condition. So, folding his arms across his chest, the crumpled paper dangling from his fingers, he narrowed his eyes as he spoke.

 

“So, which one of you is the father?”

tbc


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to my beta CharlotteAshmore and to BettyBubble and Coreenfw for the second read through

All three men looked at the doctor as if he’d grown a second head. Jerry’s eyes lingered over Carol’s prone body and stepped towards the bed. Reaching out, he stood protectively by her side and regarded the two prospective father’s with barely hidden disdain. He already had his suspicions that the man standing opposite him, was the culprit. He’d seen the two of them together back in Alexandria, but he’d also seen Carol’s devastated eyes the next day when she’d come to him and the king, asking to go with them. Something had happened, and the more he studied the rough looking redneck, the more displeased he became. To his left, King Ezekiel bristled at the doctor's words and he shook his head in denial when he saw the accusation in his friend’s eyes.

 

“I can assure you,” Ezekiel told Jerry honestly. “If I were to have a child, I would most surely wish it to be with this woman right here...but, unfortunately for me, I am not the child’s sire.”

 

Jerry silently studied him for a moment. He knew his king cared deeply for the woman lying on the bed, but the more he looked for any kind of deceit, the more he believed Ezekiel was telling the truth. Nodding once, Jerry then turned his attentions onto the other man. He was looking down at Carol with glazed eyes, and it was in that moment Jerry knew his suspicions were right. He had no qualms, this man obviously had feelings for the woman they all adored, but for her to run from him, made Daryl Dixon someone to be closely watched. Jerry wouldn’t allow him to hurt her, especially now. So he fixed his eyes firmly on the other man, waiting for him to notice the warning glower he was casting his way...but Daryl didn’t lift his eyes from Carol’s face.

 

Daryl was numb. His whole body shook in complete shock when he’d heard the doctor’s words. Carol was pregnant...she was having a baby... _his_ baby...The voices of the other men in the room seemed to fade into the background when the realisation began to slowly sink in. He’d been so busy wallowing in his own self degradation, he hadn’t even thought of the consequences of their union. He should have...they _both_ should have...but he’d wanted her so badly. So, now he’d managed to not only completely fuck up what was the best thing he’d ever had in his life, he’d also gotten her pregnant...and now he was terrified she was going to hate him even more because of it.

 

Swallowing hard, Daryl tore his eyes from Carol’s ashen face and looked up to the doctor worriedly. “Why ain't she woken up?”

 

Doctor John Davis wasn’t a stranger to dealing with pregnancy. Over his years as a physician, he’d had at least a dozen women who were in their forties and first time mothers. They had all gone on to deliver healthy babies, but that was before the apocalypse hit and the prenatal care Carol should receive was no longer available. He was going at this blind, and if she carried this baby to full term, there was no guarantees this child would be born without complications. Lifting his eyes to the nervous man who was looking to him for answers, he tried to offer him a reassuring smile.

 

“I’ll need to examine her fully,” Dr. John told him as gently as he could. “But women who become pregnant after the age of forty, face a whole set of medical problems.”

 

“But…” shaking his head, Daryl ignored the scrutinizing glare Jerry was casting in his direction. Instead, he reached down to Carol’s hand and wrapped his hand around hers. “She gonna be okay?”

 

“That, is something I can’t answer,” John told him honestly. “Is this her first child?”

 

The sudden flash of Sophia’s face hit him full force, and he found himself trying to blink the image away. During a drunken confession back at the farm, Carol had told him snippets of her disastrous marriage to Ed. Through her slurred words he’d learned more about the man than he’d wanted to, but he’d also learned a lot about her too. Closing his fingers around hers, he lifted his eyes back up to the doctor who was wrapping a blood pressure cuff around her arm.

 

“She had a daughter, we lost her a few years back…” Daryl told him softly, suddenly feeling like he was betraying her for revealing her secrets. “She never had any others.”

 

“Has she had any miscarriages?”

 

Daryl’s eyes widened with worry before he slipped his gaze back onto her again. Shaking his head, he looked back up at the doctor again and nodded towards the other two men in the room. “They gotta be here?”

 

“No,” the doctor smiled as he looked towards the other two men. He could feel the tension building in the room, and he was reluctant to leave for a few moments to retrieve the thermometer and glucose reader from the medical store room. “I need some equipment, so please decide who stays or who goes. If you haven’t decided by the time I return, I will make all three of you leave, is that understood?”

 

Moving towards the door, John looked back and shook his head. Never had he been in a position where a woman had three men vying for her attention, and she wasn’t even conscious. Opening the door, he rushed through to the hall, intent on returning as quickly as he could.

 

“We should leave...but if she needs anything...” Ezekiel voice seemed to echo around the room, and the sincerity grated on Daryl’s nerves.

 

“ _I’ll_ get her anythin’ she needs,” he groused, shooting the king a warning glare before transferring that same annoyance onto the huge man by his side.

 

“Still, the offer is there,” Ezekiel told him, smiling despite Daryl’s apparent irritation. He turned to leave, but stopped and addressed Daryl directly as he spoke. “But, please rest assured, if you decide you do not want to be a part of this child’s life…”

 

“ _Hey_ , I didn’t say I wouldn’t _be_ here,” Daryl growled, his anger flaring as he left Carol’s side to stand face to face with the dreadlocked man.

 

“I merely meant, _if_ you are the father and…”

 

“What’ya mean _if?_ ” Daryl hissed. “S’ _my_ kid.”

 

“How can you be sure of that?” Ezekiel asked, his own jealousy spiking as he spoke. His eyes flared with irritation. This man was standing in the way of him building any kind of life with Carol, and it irked him. “What makes you think it’s _yours?_ ”

 

“Ya sayin’ she sleeps around?” Daryl’s whole body seethed with anger as he shoved a finger into the king’s chest. “That what ya sayin’, _asshole?_ ”

 

“No...I would never…”

 

“Then ya better shut yer damn mouth,” Daryl hissed angrily, shoving the king backwards. “Don’t wanna hear anyone thinkin’ that about her, ever. Ya hear me?”

 

Carol’s eyes slowly fluttered open and she blinked in confusion when she saw Jerry standing by her side. Reaching for him, she pulled her hand back again when the angry voices filtered through her mind. Swallowing hard, she tried to clear the fog around her, but then the realisation of where she was hit her all at once.

 

“ _Jerry_...” she started, her voice stuttered as she tried to get the words out. “Where…’m I?”

 

Carol’s soft voice suddenly broke the two men apart. Daryl pulled back, his anger dissolving within seconds of hearing her voice. He moved to her side, reaching for her hand. He gazed down at her glazed eyes and tried to find the words to tell her how sorry he was, but she pulled her hand from his grasp before he could speak.

 

“Ya passed out and we brought ya to see the doc,” Daryl told her as gently as he could. He tried not to let her rebuttal hurt, but he ached to touch her. The brief reprieve he’d felt, when he’d helped carry the box to the store room, had all but disappeared. Now, she wouldn’t even look at him...but he wasn’t going to lose her again. He stayed firmly by her side, providing a solid presence even if she didn’t want him there right now. He wasn’t leaving her again, he’d already made that mistake once.

 

“How are you feeling?” Ezekiel asked her, smiling gently as he reached for one of her hands. There was a part of him which wanted to show the redneck he wasn’t needed here, but when Carol shook his hand off too, he couldn’t miss the triumphant look in the other man’s eyes.

 

Gesturing towards Jerry, Ezekiel indicated for him to follow, but the large-set man stood firmly by Carol’s side. His gaze shifted onto Daryl, watching him intently as he remembered Carol’s reaction to him earlier. This man had hurt her; he could tell by the way she’d frozen in her seat when she’d seen him. Patting Carol’s ankle, Jerry released her and took a step back, but not before he made her a promise he knew he would never break.

 

“I’ll be outside,” he told her with a reassuring smile. “You need me, I’ll be here.”

 

Turning to the king, Jerry motioned towards the door and ushered him out of the room. Carol had enough to deal with already. She didn’t need the added pressure of King Ezekiel too. Looking back one last time, he nodded to her, grinning widely before he followed his boss out of the room, closing the door behind him.

 

As soon as they were alone, Daryl’s gaze dropped to Carol’s face, trying desperately to connect with her...but to his dismay her eyes were focused on the closed door and he felt his heart sink.

 

“You don’t have to stay.”

 

Her voice startled him for a moment and he found himself reaching for her hand, but stopped before he could touch her. Her voice was flat, devoid of all the warmth it usually held and it scared him. Shaking his head, he released the breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding before he considered how to respond.

 

“I’m stayin’.”

 

Carol closed her eyes against the unwanted tears she could feel building there. The last thing she wanted was to cry in front of him again. Drawing in a breath, she opened her eyes and shot him a dark look, drawing on every ounce of strength she could muster.

 

“Do what you want,” she told him flatly before she dug her elbows into the mattress to push herself upright. His hands reached for her, but she shook them off as she manouvred herself around so her back was facing him, and her legs hung over the side of the bed. She hated feeling this way...so...desolate. He was here, telling her he was going to stay, but after he’d run from her after sex, how would he react to a baby?

 

Daryl felt the sting of rejection like a slap in the face, but he knew he deserved no less than that. Undeterred, he moved around the bed to come and stand by her side, close enough to touch her.

 

“I wanna be here,” he told her again, hoping she would listen to him this time. “‘M gonna be here...ain’t goin’ anywhere.”

 

Those words hit her hard, and she couldn’t help but scoff a little when she remembered the last time he’d spoken them. There was a time she would have believed him when he’d made her that promise, but not any more.

 

“I’ll be fine, Daryl,” she told him on a sigh as she rubbed a hand tiredly over her face. “Just haven’t eaten, that’s all.”

 

“Sure that’s all it is?” he asked her cautiously, unsure if she was aware he knew about the baby. He needed to make things right...he needed to make her understand he loved her, despite what he’d done.

 

“What else can it be?” she asked dryly, averting her eyes, and it was then he realised she didn’t know he knew. “Like I said, you don’t need to stay. I’m fine. Just like always…”

 

“Carol…” he started softly. “I…”

 

“Why are you here?” she turned on him, her eyes blazing with hurt and anger as her voice sliced through his. “You didn’t want to stay with me before, so why are you here now?”

 

“I…”

 

“Look,” she sighed, losing the fight with her tears. Batting them away from her cheek, she lowered her gaze down to her knees. “You don’t have to stay with me through some kind of guilt...I know you didn’t.. _don’t_...want...me...and it’s okay...really…”

 

Daryl’s breath caught in his throat and he couldn’t stop himself from reaching for her. His hand closed around her arm, the touch sending heat through his body. He wanted her...oh how he wanted her…

 

“Carol...I... _jeez_ this is so _fucked_ up…” looking up to the ceiling he took a deep breath before he lowered his gaze back to her. Releasing her arm, he moved to stand directly in front of her. “I know about the baby.”

 

It took a few moments for his words to register, and then suddenly everything became so clear. He wasn’t here for her at all. Emptiness washed over her and she shook her head in defeat.

 

“ _Great_ …” she hissed, unable to hide the hurt from her voice. “That’s just _fucking_ great!”

 

“Carol…”

 

“You don’t have to be here, Daryl,” she told him, keeping her voice even as she spoke. Lifting her eyes, she met his gaze briefly before she turned away again. “You didn’t ask for this, so don’t think I’m expecting anything from you, okay. I can do this on my own.”

 

“Ya think I’ll leave ya like this?” he asked, his voice rising slightly as he tried to catch her eyes. “That what ya think of me?”

 

“What am I _supposed_ to think of you, _Daryl?_ ” she hissed, meeting his eyes with a fierceness he hadn’t seen before. “ _You_ left, remember? _You_ left _me_...so don’t think I expect you to stick around just because you _knocked_ me up.”

 

“Don’t…” he winced at her choice of words, hating the way her voice had lost all of its warmth. “I messed up... _me_...I admit it, okay...but it wasn’t because I didn’t want ya... _fuck_ …”

 

When the door suddenly opened again, Dr. John hovered in the doorway and regarded the two of them dubiously. He could hear their raised voices out in the hall, and when he stepped over the threshold, the silence which greeted him was almost deafening. Coming into the room, he placed the glucose reader onto the table beside the bed, while he placed the thermometer into her ear.

 

“Stress is bad for a pregnant woman of any age.” The words lingered in the air, filling the silence which now hung between them. “But it’s especially dangerous for a geriatric mother.”

 

“The _fuck_ you call her?” Daryl hissed, his eyes narrowing as he glared at the doctor standing before him. “She ain’t no geriatric... _Fuck’s_ sake.”

 

“Daryl it’s what doctors call a pregnant woman over forty...that or advanced maternal age, which doesn’t sound any better,” Carol sighed, caught between helplessness, because she’d allowed this to happen, and pride because he was defending her.

 

“Well it ain’t right,” he snapped as he pointed a finger towards the doctor in annoyance. “Don’t wanna hear ya call her that, _ever_ …”

 

“Okay,” Dr John chuckled, casting his eyes onto the thermometre. “Temperature’s fine. How long have you had dizziness?”

 

For a moment, Carol allowed her uneasiness to ebb away when she felt the palm of Daryl’s hand nestle against her back. In the old world, she would have been overjoyed with the prospect of becoming a mother for a second time. Sophia would still be alive and maybe, just maybe, Ed would have been long gone, and Daryl would have taken his place...but it wasn’t the old world, and this wasn’t some fantasy playing out inside her head. This was real, and dangerous for her and her baby...regardless whether Daryl wanted to be a part of the process or not.

 

“A few days...a week maybe,” she told him softly. “It started around the same time as the nausea…”

 

“The doctor from Hilltop estimates you’re around six weeks pregnant,” he told her when he reached for the glucose monitor. “And you’ve passed out twice, is that correct?”

 

“I think so…”

 

“What’s up with her, doc?” Daryl asked, moving his fingers up and down her back. He hadn’t realised what he was doing at first, but when she didn’t shy away from his touch, he didn’t pull away.

 

“She needs prenatal vitamins and iron...neither of which are easy to come by now…”

 

“Give me a list,” Daryl told him as he withdrew his hand and stood up a little straighter. “I’ll find whatever she needs.”

 

“You think you can find prenatal vitamins?” John asked incredulously, smiling kindly despite meeting the other man’s irritated scowl. “Every place around here has been picked clean already.”

 

“Then I’ll go further out,” Daryl shrugged. “Gotta be somewhere that’s still got the things she needs…”

 

“Okay, but if you find any kind of medical supplies at all…”

 

“I’ll talk to Ezekiel and take a team out. I found a bunch of medical supplies at a veterinary hospital a while back,” Daryl looked down at the woman beside him, unable to miss the flash of pain in her eyes. The last time he’d gone out with a team to find supplies there, Rick had thrown her out without a backwards glance. Reaching down, he laid a hand on her shoulder and welcomed the heat from her body. It seeped into him, warming him from the inside out, and he tried to reassure her with his touch that he would come back to her this time.

 

“I’ll eat more greens,” Carol scoffed before she realised he was standing impossibly close to her. Shaking off his hand, she held her fingers out to the doctor and avoided Daryl’s gaze while she waited for the lancet to pierce her skin. Despite his solid presence, she couldn’t become complacent, not again.

 

“Eating green vegetables alone isn’t enough,” John told her absently as he squeezed a drop of her blood onto the test strip before placing it into the glucose reader. “You’ll need fresh fruit too, such as oranges, mangos.”

 

“Anythin’ she needs, write it down,” Daryl told him, his eyes transfixed on the blood on Carol’s finger. Reaching over, he wrapped his fingers around her hand and tried not to notice how she shied away from his touch. He’d hurt her; he knew he had...but he wanted to make it right. Lifting their joined hands to his lips, he nuzzled her knuckles in an effort to make her see he was trying.

 

The glucose reader beeped, and the doctor peered down at it worriedly before he reached for the blood pressure cuff again. Carol pulled her hand from Daryl’s once more and tried not to focus on how good his hand still felt when his fingers wrapped around hers. She had to stop thinking of all of those things if she was going to do this on her own.

 

“Your glucose levels are a little low,” he told her as he secured the cuff around her arm. “You need to eat to keep your levels up.”

 

“If I eat, I’m sick,” she sighed miserably. “How am I supposed to eat when all I do is throw it up again?”

 

“Okay, your last pregnancy. What was the only thing you could eat without getting sick?” the doctor asked while he put the stethoscope in his ears and placed the bell against her skin.

 

Carol closed her eyes and tried not to focus on the thrumbing of her heartbeat when the cuff tightened around her upper arm. Instead she tried to think of the things she used to eat when she was pregnant with Sophia.

 

“Pretzels,” she said as she opened her eyes. The memories came back to her in a wave and she smiled despite the churning in her stomach. “And crackers.”

 

Unfastening the cuff, John pulled it from her arm and pulled the stethoscope from his ears. “Blood pressure is a little high, but not too much to worry about at this stage...but I want you to rest.”

 

“She’ll be restin’ plenty, doc,” Daryl told him, addressing Carol as he spoke. “And don’t think I’m leavin’ without makin’ sure everyone here makes sure ya don’t do anythin’ yer not supposed to.”

 

“I have classes to teach,” she groused in irritation. “I can’t spend this entire pregnancy doing nothing.”

 

“Didn’t say ya couldn’t do anythin’,” he told her with a slow smile. “I know how hard it is for ya to stay still.”

 

“Who’s going to teach these people how to protect themselves if I don’t?” she huffed, shaking her head in annoyance. “They’re relying on me.”

 

“I’ll teach ‘em when I get back,” he shrugged, as if his offer should placate her. “I can take a few of ‘em out, teach ‘em to track...we need more people who can hunt, too.”

 

Carol stared at him incredulously. After all this time, he thought he could just come right back into her life after he’d left it so abruptly. “I was doing just fine. I’m pregnant, not disabled, Daryl.”

 

“Do I need to separate you two?” the doctor cut in as he reached down for Carol’s hand to place two square glucose tablets into her palm.

 

Carol looked down at them dubiously before she popped them into her mouth. The sweetness hit her tongue, instantly making her feel even sicker than she’d felt before. Screwing her eyes shut, she crunched the tablets quickly and swallowed them down while trying not to gag as she did it.

 

“Glucose tablets. I’ve added them to the list. I’ve got enough for another few months if she needs them,” the doctor told him before he turned towards the door. “I’ll inform King Ezekiel and see if there’s anything else to add.”

 

Daryl’s eyes dropped down to the scrawled writing and squinted when he tried to decipher a couple of words. The basic prenatal vitamins were listed, as well as iron supplements. He knew he needed to head out soon before they lost the daylight, but he was still reluctant to leave her alone. With the doctor gone, the two of them were once again alone, and he was suddenly struck with not knowing what he should say to her.

 

“For god’s sake, Daryl, just go already,” Carol griped when her stomach lurched uncomfortably. “I told you I’m fine…”

 

“Carol…”

 

The hurt in his eyes almost broke her. She had been so angry...she still was...and sometimes she thought the pain and humiliation was going to consume her whole. She thought she was doing okay without him, but when he’d returned, he’d turned her whole axis sideways and now she was so totally confused by it all. Why was he even trying when he didn’t want her?

 

“Daryl,” she sighed sadly, all the fight leaving her body. “Look...I know you feel responsible, but...I don’t expect anything from you, okay. I don’t want you to feel pressured just because I’m having your baby. I’m not going to stop you seeing it if that’s why you’re doing this.”

 

Her words stole his breath and tore right through him. She was watching him so sincerely, and he couldn’t miss the sheen of tears in her eyes. He had so much work ahead of him to try and make this right, and he did want to make things right between them again. If this time apart had taught him anything, it was that he never wanted to lose her again. Moving a little closer he reached out his hand and rested it on her shoulder, squeezing gently as he bent a little so he was level with her eyes.

 

“That ain’t why I’m doin’ this...and when I get back, we’re gonna sit down and talk about what happened that night.”

 

His words sank into her, swirling around her heart to make her question everything again. Shaking her head, she lifted her eyes and met his gaze, not even trying to hide the pain as she looked at him..

 

“Tell me something, Daryl. If Maggie hadn’t sent for you, would you even be here with me right now?”

 

Daryl’s mouth opened and closed as he tried to formulate some kind of reassuring reply. He felt her slipping away and her eyes grew cold once more…he was losing her and he had no idea how to make her see how badly he wanted her.

 

“That’s what I thought,” she whispered when he’d taken too long to reply. Moving away from him, she turned her head away and swallowed hard against the lump in her throat. “Tell Jerry he can come in. He’ll be wearing a hole in the floor by now.”

 

“Carol, please…”

 

“It’s okay...really...” she managed before her voice gave way to the tears she was fighting to hold back.

 

Daryl stood there for a few seconds, torn between needing to leave and wanting to stay. He didn’t know what to do anymore, but he loved her too much to walk away from her again. Undeterred, he reached for her again but held on tight before she could shrug away from his touch.

 

“I _will_ be back,” he told her, his voice holding so much conviction as he spoke. Gesturing towards her flat stomach, he tried to envision how she would look in a few months time, and that made him even more determined to stick around. “I will... _and_...it ain’t just because of this.”

 

Her silent nod was enough for now...it had to be. Stepping back, he released her hand and folded the paper before shoving it into his pocket. His gaze swept over her one more time, and he wished he could just kiss her and wipe away all of the bad things he’d said and done to her...if only it was that easy. Turning away from her, he started to make his way reluctantly towards the door, knowing if he didn’t leave now, he never would…

tbc


	9. Chapter 9

The moment Daryl left the room, he could already feel the depth of despair filling him. He needed to talk to the king and gather a team together, but he didn’t want to leave Carol either. Moving towards the two men who stood in the hall, he nodded towards Jerry with a newfound respect. This man had vowed to protect her; even from him. That made him Daryl’s first choice to watch over her while he was gone.

 

“I need to find her some vitamins, and some other things the doc needs,” he announced, speaking directly to the larger man. “She needs rest...and I know her, she ain’t gonna do it unless someone makes her. While I’m gone, I need ya to make sure she gets it.”

 

Jerry studied the rugged man for a few moments before he broke out into a wide smile. Nodding his head, he looked towards the closed door before his eyes settled back onto the man before him. He hadn’t known Carol for very long, but he knew she was stubborn and didn’t take too kindly to being told what to do.

 

“She’s not going to be happy!”

 

“I know,” Daryl chuckled, remembering just how bad of a patient Carol could be. “She doesn’t know how to relax. She’s always doin’ somethin’, just to do somethin’... but doc said she’s gotta rest.”

 

“Don’t worry,” Jerry promised. “I’ll make sure she does.”

 

“She’ll fight ya,” Daryl told him, smirking when memories of being on the wrong end of her temper, swamped his mind. “She’ll try and twist it around and make ya think yer bein’ too hard on her, but don’t let that woman fool ya...she knows exactly what she’s doin’!”

 

To Daryl’s astonishment, Jerry held out his hand in a gesture which surprised him. The large set man had been sending scathing looks at him since the minute he’d gotten here, so this was unexpected. Reaching out, Daryl shook his hand and nodded before pulling away from him again.

 

“I’ll look out for her while you’re gone.”

 

Daryl eyed Jerry curiously, silently wondering what had changed. Since he’d arrived, this man had been watching his every move, waiting for him to say or do the wrong thing. Daryl would have paid more attention if he hadn’t been so worried about Carol...but somewhere between then and now, Jerry seemed almost...accepting. He nodded in thanks, torn between leaving when he knew Carol was so close, but Jerry’s voice broke through his thoughts.

 

“You’re doing right by her,” Jerry told him suddenly, his voice dropping lower as he spoke. “That makes you okay, I guess.”

 

“Uh...thanks…”

 

“I protect my friends,” Jerry warned as he stepped in closer, lowering his head a little so he could whisper a warning against Daryl’s ear. “And if you hurt her, I’ll find you.”

 

Daryl nodded, watching Carol’s self proclaimed protector, as he left his side to make his way towards the infirmary where Carol was. He turned away before the door opened, knowing if he saw her he’d want to go right back in there, but he couldn’t, not yet. Looking towards Ezekiel, he nodded at the dreadlocked man, putting all animosity aside.

 

“Carol needs prenatal vitamins. Can you spare a few people? I wanna head out today to hit a few of the towns further north.”

 

“Of course,” Ezekiel told him, stepping back to allow Daryl to pass. “I would like to accompany you on this trip.”

 

“Ain’t ya gotta stay behind and be king or somethin’?” Daryl groused, not happy in the slightest to be spending any extra time with the Kingdom leader.

 

“I would like to help search for the items Carol requires,” Ezekiel told him, his eyes sparkling with mirth as he regarded the irritated man. “Or if you wish, I could stay and watch over her instead.”

 

The man’s voice irked Daryl to the point he wanted to shoot an arrow in his ass. If he stayed behind, Daryl had no qualms Ezekiel would swoop in as sole protector and point out all the ways Daryl had failed her...the man was persistent if nothing else.

 

“Nah, ya should be there,” Daryl told him through narrowed eyes. “Need people who can defend ‘emselves.”

 

“I will gather my people,” Ezekiel agreed, as they both made their way out of the hospital building to walk silently side by side.

 

“I don’t want ya blabbin’ to anyone about Carol, either,” Daryl told him as they walked. He kept his eyes firmly in front of him, unwilling to look at Ezekiel as he spoke. “When she’s ready, she’ll tell ‘em herself.”

 

“Do you not want to announce your impending fatherhood to the world?” Ezekiel asked, eyeing the man beside him with surprise. “If Carol was my wife…”

 

“Well she _ain’t!_ ” Daryl growled, casting the man beside him a sideways glance.

 

“She does not appear to be yours either.”

 

“The _fuck_ you say?” Daryl hissed as his hand shot out to grasp hold of the king, bringing him to a stop. “She’s havin’ _my_ kid…”

 

“Having a child together does not necessarily make you belong to one another,” Ezekiel told him almost gleefully. “Do you intend to marry her? From my understanding, you used her and cast her aside.”

 

“I know Carol ain’t said nothin’ about what happened, cuz it’s our business... _ours_ ,” Daryl hissed, pointing his finger accusingly at Ezekiel’s face. “So don’t go thinkin’ ya know her better than ya do, cuz ya don’t.”

 

“I know she sought my counsel the very next morning,” the king told him, his voice raising a little with his rebuttal. “I know she was overset with emotion and in need of my aid .”

 

“Ya don’t know shit!”

 

“I know she came to me willingly and accepted my offer of a home. A place where she is respected and valued.” Ezekiel could see how his words were causing the man before him to become more irate, but he just couldn’t seem to stop. Jealousy fueled his words, as one by one, accusations rolled off his tongue.

 

_“FUCK!”_

 

Rage rolled off Daryl’s body in waves as he moved in closer. Clenching his fists, his nostrils flared and he wanted nothing more than to punch this sanctimonious prick right between the eyes. They were toe to toe, breathing heavily and ready to strike out at each other when Daryl slammed his eyes shut and stepped away. Taking a breath, his mind flashed back to the time he’d flown into a rage after Sophia’s funeral. He’d been so angry, and he’d been so mad at Carol too. At the time he couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t go to say her final goodbyes to the little girl he’d searched endlessly for. He hadn’t understood it then, but he did now...there were some things just too painful to face, and only time could make those things right again. Carol had taught him that. She’d taught him how to be a better man, and if he slammed into this prick now; gave in to his goading...then everything she’d taught him would have meant nothing. Opening his eyes, he focused on Ezekiel, poking his finger into his chest.

 

“Just so we’re clear,” he spat. “ _Carol_ belongs to _no_ one. She’s strong and she can take care of herself. She’s saved my life more than once, and she’s given me more than I know I deserve. _But_...I’m gonna make sure I show her what she means to me, every _damn_ day if she’ll let me.”

 

Ezekiel regarded him for a long moment, watching the sincerity flare in his eyes. Nodding in affirmation, his lips turned upwards into a half smile, and his king-like accent dropped away to reveal the real man beneath the facade.. “Fair enough...but if you screw this up with her... If you mess things up, I’ll make sure I’m the first man she sees.”

 

“Ain’t gonna mess up,” Daryl muttered as he turned to begin walking beside the king again, mumbling asshole under his breath.

 

“I heard that!”

 

“Supposed to,” Daryl ground out, ignoring the smirk on Ezekiel’s face.

 

000

 

Carol couldn’t decide whether she was irritated or elated, when Jerry told her Daryl had asked him to stay close by. She teetered between wanting to forgive him, and wanting to freeze him out. Just because she was pregnant shouldn’t have to mean anything; it wouldn’t have in the old world. There were so many women here doing it alone. Women who had been left widowed, and their children fatherless since the war...and if she needed to, she could do this on her own, too.

 

She’d left the infirmary a short time ago, amid strict instructions she was to return a further two times that day. She had to admit, even though the glucose made her feel sick to her stomach, she did feel marginally better. She even thought she could manage some dry cereal if there was any left in the kitchen. Maybe it was the glucose, or maybe it was because of Daryl...she hadn’t quite made up her mind yet. He still had a long way to go before he could convince her he was here for the long haul, but his presence was a start.

 

“Where are you going?” Jerry asked her, his gentle smile hiding the worry in his eyes. “Remember you’re not supposed to be doing anything strenuous.”

 

“Jerry…”

 

“Look, I promised I’d look after you, and even if he hadn’t have asked me, I still would anyway,” Jerry told her, smiling despite her scowl. “So...where are we going?”

 

“Well first I’ve got to pee,” she told him sarcastically, shooting him a glare as she made her way towards one of the washrooms. “You gonna follow me in there too?”

 

“If there’s a chance of you climbing out of the window to get away from me,” he grinned. “Then yeah.”

 

“How am I going to climb out of a window?” she huffed incredulously. “I’d probably pass out with the effort it’ll take!”

 

To his credit, Jerry smirked as he followed her to one of the lavatory buildings. He stood guard while she made her way inside, grinning at the scowl she sent his way. Despite her annoyance at his overprotectiveness, he was prepared to take whatever gripes she threw his way. She was one special lady, and even if she wasn’t pregnant, he would still be looking out for her. He waited a few moments for her to emerge, noting how her face was a little paler than when she went in. He didn’t ask though. Instead he kept a watchful eye on her as she began to walk towards the small tables, following closely behind.

 

Delving his hand into his pocket, he pulled out one of the granola bars the doctor had given him for her. He had no idea if this would make her sick again, but the doctor’s instructions had been clear...food and rest...Reaching out, he tapped her arm and offered her the small packet when she turned to look at him.

 

“Here,” he told her with a smile. “Doc said you need to eat.”

 

Carol eyed the small bar for a few moments before she reached out to take it from his hand. Her stomach lurched with the thought of the sweetened snack, but she knew if she didn’t eat she risked passing out again.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“If you want something else, tell me and I’ll find it for you,” Jerry told her worriedly when he saw her face grow pale. “I can maybe find some crackers? Probably be stale but…”

 

Carol stopped suddenly, and he almost collided into her. He looked down at her questioningly, but the words he was going to say died on his lips when he saw her looking at something in the distance. Following her gaze, Jerry lifted his head to see what she was looking at, only to smile in relief when he saw the familiar figure waving in greeting.

 

“Rick?” Carol asked in confusion when he reached her, returning his loose hug before moving away. “What are you doing here?”

 

“What? I can’t visit now?” Rick asked with a wide grin as he laid a hand on her shoulder.

 

“Well, yes...of course you can, but…”

 

“I was at the Hilltop with Daryl,” he told her softly, squeezing her shoulder gently before he pulled his hand away. “Maggie said you were sick.”

 

“Rick,” she told him on a sigh. “I’ve already been through this with Daryl. I’m fine.”

 

“Carol…”

 

“Look,” shaking her head, she held out a hand to stop him, hoping he wouldn’t question any further. “If you’re here to visit, then can you please just drop it? I promise you, I’m really okay.”

 

Rick watched her dubiously before he lifted his eyes up to the man standing protectively at her side. Jerry just shrugged and offered him a wide grin, and for now, Rick decided not to question her about the incident at the Hilltop. Instead, he looked down at her and smiled, nodding his head. He watched her sigh in relief, but he was still worried. Carol didn’t get sick. In fact he couldn’t remember her ever having so much as a cold before now. She was always moving, taking care of everyone else. Even after Daryl had found her in the tombs, she was off her feet for exactly two hours before she was brushing everyone’s worries aside.

Glancing around him, Rick couldn’t see Daryl anywhere. He’d spotted his bike on the way in, and he’d been waved in Carol’s general direction...but Daryl’s absence grated on him.

 

“Where is he?”

 

“Who?” She asked, feigning ignorance as she turned to lead him to one of the wooden picnic tables which were dotted around, unoccupied.

 

“Carol…” Rick warned. “ _Don’t…_ ”

 

Sighing heavily, Carol moved to one of the picnic tables and eased herself down onto the bench. She was exhausted and physically drained, not to mention stressed over the situation with Daryl and their child. Rubbing a hand over her eyes, she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. Her hand fell away from her face and she looked up to offer Jerry a tired smile.

 

“I’m okay…”

 

“Eat,” he ordered, even though his lips curled into a warm smile. “I’m gonna find you those crackers. Don’t move from this spot.”

 

“Okay,” she chuckled, shaking her head at his infectious grin. She watched him turn away before she looked back at Rick who had watched the whole exchange in confusion.

 

“Carol, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Rick asked as he moved onto the bench to sit opposite her. “Maggie said you were…”

 

“I told you already, I’m fine,” she told him, her voice breaking through his. Lowering her eyes, she focused on the small packet in her hand and pulled the wrapper apart. The smell hit her first, the sickly sweet pungency wafting through her senses. Her stomach gave a lurch before she even managed to bring the offending treat up to her mouth. Taking a breath, she averted her eyes from the sticky bar in her hand only to meet the cool blue eyes of Rick Grimes.

 

He regarded her worriedly, watching her wage some kind of inner battle with the granola bar in her hand. He hadn’t seen her eat anything in a long time, even out on the road. She’d always managed to cook meals from nothing for all of their family, but only taking a minimal amount for herself.

 

“Carol…” he almost whispered her name when his suspicions whirled around inside him. “Can I ask you something?”

 

Carol’s hands stilled with his words, and she held her breath as she waited for the inevitable question which would blow this whole pregnancy wide open.

 

“Are you...I mean…” hesitating over his words, Rick shifted in his seat and slowly reached across to lay a hand over her arm. “Have you...got some kind...of…”

 

“Rick?” she asked worriedly when he seemed to be struggling to get the words out. “What is it?”

 

“I’m sorry,” he sighed as he shook his head. “I’m not doing this right.”

 

“Look, whatever eating disorder you think I’m suffering from, I can assure you, it’s not that.”

 

“How?”

 

“How did I know?” she asked with a soft chuckle. “We were almost to the point of starvation before Aaron found us. So many months before that we were lucky to be eating a couple of berries each a day...I’m surprised none of us have some kind of problem with food.”

 

“Then what is it ?” he asked her as he squeezed her arm. “Has Daryl done something? Is that why he’s not here?”

 

“Oh, he’s done _something_ ,” she muttered under her breath before she looked him in the eyes and offered him a tight smile. “I’m pregnant.”

 

Rick’s eyes grew wider as her words sank in. He tried to comprehend what she’d just told him, and at first, he thought it was some kind of joke...but when he looked up at her, it was as if the light bulb sparked to life in his head, and then everything slotted into place.

 

“Wow…”

 

“Yeah,” she scoffed. “Who’d have thought it, huh?”

 

“Does Daryl know?” Rick asked cautiously while his eyes raked over her pale features. “Tell me he hasn’t left you, because if he has, I’ll…”

 

“Yes,” she told him, her voice coming out in a rush. “Yes he knows...he’s been quite...supportive .”

 

“Yeah? So where is he?”

 

“I need prenatal vitamins and a bunch of other stuff the doctor here needs. He’s gone to try and find them.” Shrugging her shoulders she swallowed hard against the sudden swell of emotion which was balling in her throat. “He keeps telling me he wants to be here…”

 

“But you’re not so sure?” Rick asked softly as he squeezed her arm.

 

“He ran away from me once, Rick...and I just don’t know if I can trust him not to do it again…” Sliding the wrapper back over the uneaten granola bar, she placed in onto the table and closed her eyes. “I told him I can do it on my own.”

 

“Carol,” his soft voice brought her eyes open again and she lifted her gaze to focus on him. “I saw how he was after you left...he was, lost.”

 

“Then why did it take him so long to come find me?” She asked, her voice rising a little as she spoke. Pulling her arm from his grasp, she swiped at the wetness in her eyes as she tried to quash all of the familiar hurt and anger which still wrapped themselves securely around her heart. Gesturing towards her stomach, she shook her head as a lone tear escaped to roll down her cheek. “If Jerry hadn’t taken me to Hilltop, no one would have even known about this.”

 

“We were coming here tomorrow, Carol,” he told her, urging her to listen to him. “We were going to leave tomorrow morning, but then Dwight came to Alexandria and Daryl took off to find you...I know you don’t think he cares, but he does...I promise you he does.”

 

“I know he cares,” she hissed softly, swiping at her eyes. “But there’s a difference between loving and caring, and I’ll always be wondering if he’s really staying for me, or if he’s staying out of guilt.”

 

“It’s for you, Carol,” he urged, reaching out to wrap both of his hands around hers. “He loves _you_.”

 

“Maybe he does,” she told him sadly, shrugging her shoulders. “But...I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust him not to leave again.”

 

“Look…”

 

“No, Rick,” she sighed, irritation creeping through her words. “You can’t just come here and tell me how much Daryl wants to be with me, when he’s the one who _left_...now, if you’re going to wait for him then you’re welcome to stay...but me and Daryl aren’t up for discussion anymore.”

 

Rick regarded her fondly before he nodded his head in agreement. Daryl had a lot of work to do to make things right between them again, and he just hoped his brother could prove to her that he wasn’t going to mess things up again. Pulling his hands from hers, he lifted the opened granola bar from its place on the table and handed it back to her. “Eat!”

 

Carol sighed as she reached out to take the food bar from his hand. She eyed it cautiously before she lifted it to her mouth to take a tentative bite. The texture of the granola made her stomach rebel, but she clamped her eyes closed and forced herself to chew. 

 

“I wasn’t supportive when Lori was pregnant with Judith,” Ricks soft voice caused Carol to open her eyes. He was watching her with so much sorrow and regret, and she could do nothing more than reach out to lay her hand over his. She finished the granola bar in silence, conscious of Rick’s watchful gaze. He opened his mouth to speak, but whatever he was going to say died on his lips when he averted his eyes.

 

“What?” She asked softly as she squeezed his hand. She waited for him to return her gaze, but when his eyes met hers again, she gasped at the sorrow in his light blue orbs.

 

“I can never take back what I did,” he told her, his voice wavering as he struggled to keep control. “What I did to her...I…”

 

“I know.”

 

“I know you do,” he told her, his voice breaking when his eyes clashed with hers once more. “That’s why I’m telling you this...I wish, every single day that I had the chance to make things right with her...but I let myself wallow in my own pain for so long...and then, it was too late.”

 

“You’re saying I should give Daryl a chance?” she asked him on a sigh, dropping her eyes to focus on their joined hands. “I already did…”

 

“I know,” he all but whispered, his soft voice drawing her back to him again, “but the two of you have the opportunity to start over now. You just have to want it.”

 

“I do,” she told him softly as a lone tear slipped over her cheek. “I want to.”

 

“Then you’re halfway there,” he smiled, squeezing their joined hands once more before releasing her when he saw Jerry approaching with some fresh fruit in his arms. She was loved here, just as much as she was loved back home. He watched the larger man drop some apples and a melon onto the top of the table and he couldn’t help but smile. She was going to be okay here, and so was Daryl...he just hoped his brother could convince her of that too.

 

tbc


	10. Chapter 10

Ezekiel held his hand up to halt his men when Daryl moved ahead of them. Keeping his eyes and ears alert, Daryl tried not to think of the last time he’d been here. It had been near on impossible not to think about Carol on the long journey to reach this place. Three long days of travelling with minimal stops left him plenty of time to dwell on the past. When he’d been at this veterinary hospital before, he’d returned to the prison to find that Rick had banished Carol while he’d been gone. The fury at the former sheriff's actions had died away a long time ago...but being here now seemed to bring all of those feelings of animosity back again.

 

Moving into the abandoned hallway, he motioned for Ezekiel and the others to follow him as he held his crossbow, poised and ready to shoot if need be. Looking around the empty reception area, he could hear the moans of walkers pressing against a locked door as he moved in front of it. Glancing back at Ezekiel, he nodded his head and carried on along the hall, leading the king towards the surgery and the pharmacy in the next room beside it.

 

The familiarity of these white walls came flooding back to him in a powerful wave. He’d had Bob and Tyreese with him back then, both of them gone now. As he made his way towards the open surgery door, he couldn’t help but wonder what the two men would have had to say about his impending fatherhood. So much had changed since that time. So many of their people had been lost. So many long, forgotten faces seemed to make their presence known to him right then. He found himself saying their names in his head, one by one, putting faces to the names as he walked. So many lives had been lost already...and here he was, creating a new one with Carol. It just seemed so... _surreal_.

 

Moving into the abandoned surgery, he lowered his bow as he looked around the room. Since he was last here, however long ago that was...the room seemed to be in more of a disarray from what he remembered. Other’s had come after him it seemed, and any hopes of finding the things they needed were starting to slowly ebb away. Pulling the list the doctor had given him from his pocket, he looked down at it before he lifted his eyes to scan the various objects littered around the room. He had no idea what half of this stuff was, so he handed the surgical list to Ezekiel while he moved towards the pharmacy in the next room. The piece of paper with Carol’s items seemed to cling to his fingers, and he wanted more than anything to find all of the items on the list.

 

“Are you sure you’ll be able to locate the items Carol needs in there?” Ezekiel asked dubiously, his voice breaking through Daryl’s thoughts..

 

“Nah, probably not,” Daryl grunted, shaking his head. “There’s a couple of stores half a mile down the road though. One’s a health store, might not have prenatal vitamins, but there could be other stuff...and there was a baby store further down. I’m gonna check them both out when we finish here.”

 

“So…do you...”

 

“Why are ya still talkin’?” Daryl groused. “Start lookin’ for the stuff the doc wants so we can get outta here.”

 

Ezekiel opened his mouth to protest, but Daryl was already gone. He knew Carol’s _lover_...was only interested in finding anything which could make her pregnancy easier. He would do the same if the child were his, but it didn’t stop him from feeling jealous and embarrassed anyway. Glancing around at the three men walking with him, Ezekiel was thankful they either hadn’t noticed his embarrassment, or they’d simply chosen to ignore it. He watched in quiet amazement as they placed anything not bolted down into boxes with quiet efficiency. Shaking himself out of his reverie, he looked down at the items listed on the paper in his hand and moved towards various cupboards, checking inside. He didn’t find much in the way of surgical items, but there was a box of gloves and a few packs of syringes littered across the shelf. Grabbing them, he placed them into one of the boxes his men were filling, and nodded in satisfaction at the quantity they’d found.

 

When Daryl came back out of the pharmacy with an armful of items held against his chest, Ezekiel looked at him hopefully. “Did you find the items Carol requires?”

 

“Not much left,” Daryl shrugged as he dropped the bottles of pills into one of the boxes. “How about you?”

 

“We found some items, but unfortunately not everything listed.”

 

“Yeah...other people been here already I guess,” Daryl nodded. “We’ll get outta here and check those stores.”

 

“We will follow your lead,” Ezekiel told him, not even attempting to hide the smirk when Daryl cast a scowl his way. He knew the gruff man was irritated by the facade he portrayed, so he made it more pronounced just to piss him off.

 

“Let’s go,” Daryl groused, nodding towards the other men in the room as he lifted his bow once more to lead their party back out to the truck.

 

000

 

Carol splashed cold water over her flushed face after throwing up what felt like everything she’d eaten over the space of the last week. Her ribs ached and her throat was so sore, and she was so incredibly miserable, she wanted to hide in the bathroom and cry. She couldn’t remember being this sick with Sophia, but back then she’d been so stressed by Ed’s temper, she’d blocked a lot of that time from her mind. Lifting her eyes to the mirror, she regarded her own reflection for a few moments before her eyes filled with tears. She looked as awful as she felt, and it didn’t help knowing Rick and Jerry were hovering outside the bathroom door like anxious mother hens.

 

“Everything okay in there?”

 

Rick’s voice filtered through the door, the concern in his voice causing the welling tears to spill over onto her cheeks. Everything was such a mess...and it was all her fault. She was a fool to think she deserved any kind of love after what she’d done. Lizzie and Mika were dead because of her...her baby girl was gone because she had been too weak to protect her...and now she was pregnant with a child whose father had bolted the moment he’d seen her scars...so, yeah...all in all, it was one big mess.

 

Stifling the soft sob behind her hand, she drew in a breath and tried to control the tremor in her body. The last thing she needed was for Rick to come charging in here like some kind of white knight, when the only man she wanted right now wasn’t even here. Taking a breath, she puffed it out slowly before breathing in again as she tried to calm herself down.

 

“I’m...fine…” she managed to squeeze out before her voice broke completely. She needed him gone so she could leave this tiny bathroom and retreat to the safety of her own room. She would be okay if they would just leave her alone for a while...if she could pack her emotions back behind her walls she could get through this just fine...

 

“Carol…”

 

Shaking her head in surrender, Carol couldn’t stop the soft sob from escaping as she sank down onto the closed toilet seat. How was she supposed to do this when her heart and head were at war? When she felt like this, all she wanted was to fall into Daryl’s arms and never let him go...but other times, seeing him, knocked her back to being angry and hurt all over again.

 

“Do you want me to find the doctor?” Rick called, tapping his knuckles against the door again. “Carol?”

 

“No,” she almost wailed, her voice wavering as she fought to stem the flow of tears. Lifting her hands to her face, she swiped at her wet cheeks and pulled herself to her feet. Tipping some water into her palms, she splashed her eyes and face before she stood up straight and pulled herself together.

 

Taking a few seconds to regain her composure, she reached for the handle and swung the door open, half expecting Rick to bombard her with a hundred and one questions. He met her with a soft smile as he placed a comforting arm around her shoulders. He didn’t question, or comment on the obvious signs of her tears. He only offered her his support, in the only way he knew how.

 

“Jerry said you needed to see the doctor again today.”

 

“Yeah…” her voice sounded raw, even to her own ears. Thankfully, Rick nodded his head and walked with her until they saw Jerry pacing anxiously back and forth.

 

“Carol,” he breathed out a sigh of relief the moment he saw her, bounding towards her to gather her into a tight hug. “You were in there a long time.”

 

“I’m okay,” she told him when he released his hold on her to pull back. “I promise.”

 

“Did you get sick again?” he asked worriedly, his eyes searching hers as he spoke. “You know, Doc said you had to go see him if you…”

 

“Yes,” she told him on a sigh. “I know what he said...and I will...just, not yet, okay.”

 

“Carol,” Rick started, concern woven through his voice. “If Daryl were here…”

 

“Well he’s _not_ here, _is_ he?” she snapped angrily, her words hissing through her lips with so much venom, Rick took a step backwards with his hands held up in surrender. Carol’s eyes widened and she stared at him, mortified. Lifting a hand to cover her mouth, she shook her head as fresh tears filled her eyes. Holding up a hand to silence him, she moved away from both men, intent on going back to her room so she could wallow in her misery alone.

 

Rick watched her retreating form, before lifting his eyes to see Jerry who was watching her with just as much trepidation. Neither of them were used to seeing this side of her, at least Rick hadn’t since Sophia had died. He knew a lot of it was to do with hormones and other various things going on inside her head. He only hoped Daryl returned from his run sooner rather than later. Regardless of their problems, he wished his brother could repair the damage he’d caused.

 

“Hormones,” Rick mouthed to Jerry as he turned to follow a few steps behind her, not wanting to upset her any further.

 

“Is she always going to be like this now?” Jerry asked in a conspiratorial whisper when he followed Rick to walk behind the ferocious woman.

 

Rick chuckled when he thought back to when Lori was pregnant. She’d turned into a complete lunatic those first three months, and there was a time when everything he’d said or done, had set her off. Looking towards the man beside him, he patted his shoulder and shrugged. “Pretty much...for a while, anyway.”

 

“Oh…” Jerry’s face paled slightly when Carol suddenly turned around, hands on hips as she regarded both of them with annoyance.

 

“Why are you following me?”

 

“Uh…” Jerry looked to Rick, who in turn just shrugged. They both watched her huff out a breath before she turned away from them again and began walking towards the infirmary.

 

“Well that went better than I thought it would,” Rick chortled when Carol sped up a little, trying to put some distance between them.

 

“What went well?”

 

“She’s pissed at us,” Rick told him with a half grin. “So to prove a point she’s heading to see the doctor.”

 

“But…” Jerry was confused. “She just said...”

 

“Yep, I know!” Rick grinned triumphantly before gesturing for the man beside to walk a little faster.

 

“I’m glad I’ll never have to go through this,” Jerry groaned thankfully when the two of them followed her into the infirmary. “Women are scary.”

 

“No, just _that_ woman, my friend!” Rick grinned. “Come on, I want to make sure she’s okay before I head back home.”

 

“ _Wait_ , you’re leaving me with her?” Jerry asked dubiously. “Like this?”

 

Rick patted the larger man on the shoulder and chuckled to himself when they made their way inside the building, just in time to see Carol shoot them an irritated scowl as the doctor ushered her inside the examination room, closing the door behind him.

 

000

 

Carol laid awake in her bed, unconsciously listening for the sounds of Daryl and the other’s returning. It had been almost a week since the group had left on their trip out to the veterinary hospital, and even though she’d told herself she wasn’t going to worry about the one man who’d captured her heart so long ago, she couldn’t help it. Everything was silent except for the distant sounds of the repair work on the outer fences. Rick had left the day before, with promises to return as soon as he could. She’d enjoyed his visit, but she wished she hadn’t told him about her pregnancy so soon. She hadn’t been thinking straight when his concerned questions caught her off guard. Now he knew, he’d go and tell Michonne, and it would go on and on, until everyone who knew both her and Daryl, would know about them.

 

_Us_...she mused...chuckling mirthlessly to herself when she realised just how ridiculous it all sounded. There wasn’t an us...and even if there had been the start of one, it was all over before it’d had a chance to begin. She’d been such a fool to dwell on the fairy tale of a happily ever after. Those were the stories she’d used to fill Sophia’s head when Ed had been on the warpath. Telling her daughter that not all men were bad, and there were such things as true love and happily ever afters...Even with her eyes swollen from Ed’s fist, or a cut lip, a broken arm...she’d still told her daughter all those lies because she’d wanted to believe it was all true herself.

 

But she’d given up on happy endings long ago...They didn’t exist, and this whole fiasco with Daryl only proved it. Maybe she was one of those people who wasn’t supposed to feel what love was like. She was loved, she knew she was...but it wasn’t the consuming feeling of meaning everything to another person. She wanted to be that for someone. She thought she’d finally found it with Daryl...she felt things for him she hadn’t ever felt before, but it was all for nothing in the end. No matter how hard she’d tried to make things different now Ed was gone, in the end, she was still alone. Well almost…

 

Lowering her hand to rest over her stomach, she couldn’t help but feel the spark of hope when she lowered her gaze. She’d tried so hard not to love this baby. She’d lost every child she’d loved so far, and she couldn’t bear to lose another one. She had one final chance at happiness. Even if Daryl decided after all his promises he didn’t want _them_ after all, she still wanted to try so badly...even if she had to have this baby alone.

 

“You make sure you stay in there, sweetheart,” she whispered, smiling despite knowing her baby was no bigger than her thumbnail. “I’m going to do all I can to make sure you’re safe...and...we’ll just hope your _daddy_ wants _us_ , too…”

 

She was so tired, and despite trying not to focus on Daryl’s absence, she couldn’t seem to stop thinking of him. There was a large part of her that wanted to desperately believe he really wanted to stay with her, but she couldn’t allow herself to dream, not yet. Despite what he’d told her, it didn’t change the fact he’d left her bed. There were times when her heart managed to convince her he wouldn’t leave this time, but she couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t bolt if they ever managed to have sex again.

 

Her eyes chased the shadows across the ceiling as she tried not to dwell on the _what ifs_. Regardless of whether he wanted it or not, he had her heart no matter how much she tried to deny it. She’d fallen in love with him so long ago, and now she couldn’t remember a time when she hadn’t had these intense feelings for him. It could all be for nothing, all this worrying. The chances of him wanting her physically were pretty slim right now. She couldn’t do anything about the scars she carried, they were part of her just as his scars were. She knew he hid his from her, even though she’d seen the puckered marks all over his back...but instead of seeing them as grotesque, they made him all the more beautiful. She guessed she was seeing him through eyes of love, and there was nothing about him she would want to change.

 

Sliding her hand from her stomach, she pulled herself upright and sat on the edge of the bed. Her scars hid beneath her clothes, each one telling a separate harrowing tale of their own. There used to be a time when she could recall what each scar represented, but she had so many now, she couldn’t hardly remember. Maybe it was best to stay away from Daryl and not pursue anything physical. They could raise this child together without being together, if that’s what it took to have his love. Even if her body ached for his touch, there were ways she could take care of those... _urges_...herself.

 

Reaching to the buttons on her shirt, she unfastened them one by one. She didn’t look pregnant, not yet anyway, but in time her breasts would become fuller and maybe some of the scarring would fade. Getting up from the bed, her shirt hung open as she moved towards the small mirror she’d borrowed from Jerry earlier. It was positioned in a way she would only be able to see her mid-section, and as she stood in front of it, turning to the side, she smoothed a hand over her flat stomach.

 

Memories of another time like this sparked several images, unwanted and unwelcome in the here and now. Ed had ridiculed her for gaining weight, not seeing the beautiful swell of their daughter growing inside her. He’d told her she was fat and ugly... _plain and fat, that’s what y’are. I’m the unlucky bastard who has to fuck ya...but hey, if I do it from behind I don’t have to look at your ugly face._

 

Carol’s hand fell away and she turned her back to the mirror. Her fingers trembled when she fumbled with the buttons, re-fastening them once more so she could hide her hideous body from view. She knew she would have to show the doctor eventually, but she didn’t want to see the inevitable horror in his eyes. She wasn’t sure if the scarring to one of her nipples would prevent her from breast feeding normally...and she would need to feed the baby herself now formula was becoming just as scarce as food was.

 

The worry of anyone seeing her almost sent her into a full blown panic attack, and she suddenly found herself wondering what it would be like to have the baby alone. She could leave and find somewhere no one knew about and give birth in private. It would be easy to just return afterwards, wouldn’t it? Ed wouldn’t be here to kick her in the back this time, and she knew how her body would do most of the work for her anyway. All she had to do was stay calm and breathe through the contractions.

 

A soft knock on her door startled her for a moment. Shock registered somewhere in her mind and she wondered if the universe had a way of broadcasting her plan. Shaking her head, she tried to stop her body from trembling when the knock sounded again.

 

“Carol…”

 

Jerry’s voice echoed through the wooden barrier, and she hesitated a few moments before she answered.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Sorry to wake you,” he called out, but the unmistakable relief in his voice caused her feet to move all on their own. Turning the lock, she opened the door and met his eyes, smiling despite how desolate she was feeling.

 

“I wasn’t asleep.”

 

Jerry opened his mouth to tell her the good news of the king’s and Daryl’s return, but the dark circles beneath her eyes, caused the words he was going to say, to die away. Instead his eyes sparked with worry and he looked at her for a long moment.

 

“You should be resting. Doc said…”

 

“I know what he said,” she told him on a sigh. “But I can’t just sleep on command, or because _you_ tell me to.”

 

“I didn’t mean…”

 

Carol rubbed her hand over her face and tried not to give into the tears she could feel building behind her walls. She teetered between hurt and sorrow several times an hour, and she knew this poor man didn’t deserve any of it.

 

“Sorry,” she sniffed, pressing both of her palms over her eyes before moving her hands away to offer him a tight smile. “What’s wrong?”

 

“They’re back,” he told her, his words coming out in a rush. “Daryl was asking about you, so I told him I’d come and get you.”

 

Carol’s breath caught in her throat and her heart did a little summersault. He’d come back...for how long she didn’t know, but he was here. Nodding, she turned to grab her sweater from a nearby chair but stopped suddenly when she lost her balance for a few moments. Holding onto the doorframe, she sucked in a deep breath and willed the room to stop spinning before she grasped onto his offered hand.

 

“I’m fine,” she assured him as she swallowed hard. “Just...give me a minute.”

 

“Take as long as you need,” Jerry told her, his solid presence holding her upright until the dizziness began to ebb away.

 

“I’m okay,” she mumbled the words, taking an unsteady step before she felt confident enough that the dizziness had passed.

 

“Okay?” he asked worriedly as he reached behind her to pull her door closed when she moved with him into the hall.

 

“I am,” she nodded, smiling despite the hammering in her chest. “But not too fast yet.”

 

“Okay,” he grinned, offering her his arm while he waited for her to slip her hand through. “You ready?”

 

Her answering smile was all the answer he needed in that moment, as he lead her away from her little room.

 

000

 

Daryl placed a bag onto the desk in the infirmary and pulled the zip open to reveal the various bottles of pills inside. Reaching down, he pulled out a bottle of prenatal vitamins and held them out for the doctors approval.

 

“I couldn’t find everythin’ ya asked for, but I cleaned the shelves of anythin’ I thought ya could use.”

 

Dr. John took the bottle from his hand and nodded in approval. Moving to peer into the bag, he scanned the contents and delved inside to pull out a bottle of iron supplement. The delight in his eyes caused his lips to curl into a smile, and Daryl found himself lowering his eyes, embarrassed.

 

“These aren’t the leading brands I used to prescribe, but they will help Carol and any other of the pregnant women here,” he gushed. “Where did you find them? I didn’t think there were any places left which hadn’t been pilfered.”

 

“Most of these were layin’ under the shelves. Guess people were in too much a hurry to pick up the ones they dropped,” Daryl shrugged. “Just lucky they did.”

 

“Me too,” the doctor told him as he rummaged through the contents like he was searching through a treasure chest. Gasping in delight, he lifted out a box of children’s chewable vitamins and grinned gleefully. “Do you know how hard it is to find stuff like this now?”

 

Daryl shrugged, smiling bashfully before he cleared his throat. “So...is there enough in here for Carol?”

 

“Yes...yes, more than enough.”

 

“Good,” Daryl nodded, his eyes drifting towards the boxes Ezekiel and his men brought in. “There’s a bunch of other stuff from the vet place...don’t know if ya can use any of it.”

 

“It’s good,” Dr John told him, his eyes sparkling brightly like a child on christmas morning. “All of it.”

 

A shuffling in the doorway caught Daryl’s attention and he turned. His breath caught in his throat when he saw her, and before he could overthink it, he was moving towards her. He saw Carol’s eyes widen when he stopped before he could touch her. He wanted to hold her...he wanted to sink to his knees and beg her to stop fighting him and let him show her how much he wanted her...but instead he moved a little closer, noting how Jerry slipped her hand from his arm, as if he was offering her up to him like the father of a new bride.

 

“Hey…” Daryl smiled, teetering between yanking her against his chest or wanting to kiss her.

 

“You came back.”

 

Those three words caused Daryl’s breath to catch in his throat. She said them like she believed he wouldn’t return…

 

“Of course I came back,” he told her softly, congratulating himself for not fumbling over his words. “Always gonna come back.”

 

Carol lifted her eyes to his in surprise. She was sure there was some kind of double meaning to those words. Was he telling her in his way she should have stayed in her bed after he’d run and just waited? Did he really think he could leave her like that and expect her to be there when he finally came to his senses?

 

“Not always,” she all but whispered, knowing the words would hurt him before they slipped from her lips.

 

Daryl sucked in a breath, but tried not to dwell on the dull tone in her voice. Taking a risk, he reached out and skimmed his fingers over the curve of her shoulder. When she didn’t pull away from him, his touch became a little bolder. Sliding his hand up further, he nestled his fingertips against the nape of her neck, toying with the ends of her hair. His eyes met hers, silently asking if she was okay with this, and when he met no objections, he stepped into her personal space and wrapped his arms around her body.

 

Carol sank into him. She melted against his body and wound her arms around his waist. The heat from him seeped into her and she relished the feel of complete bliss his touch had always brought her. She could feel every inch of him molding to her body as she tugged him more tightly against her...and in this moment, every ounce of pain simply fell away...and for now, this was enough.


	11. Chapter 11

When they finally began to pull apart, Carol unwound her arms from around him before stepping away from him completely. The absence of his body heat left her cold, but she was filled with more hope than she’d felt in a very long time.

 

“Doc’s got the vitamins ya need,” he told her almost shyly when he moved away from her. “When he’s seen ya, there’s some things in the truck I wanna show ya.”

 

“Okay,” she nodded, watching him a little dubiously when he ushered her towards the doctor who was busy taking stock of the items Daryl had brought back. “Wow, you _really_ did find a lot.”

 

Before he could reply, Dr. John looked up at her in greeting, grinning impossibly while he motioned for her to come closer. Picking up two different bottles from the stack of items on his desk, he held them both out towards her.

 

“One of each every evening. If you take them tonight while the sickness isn’t as bad, it should be easier for you to keep down,” he told her when she took the bottles from his hand. Turning his attention towards the man standing beside her, the doctor addressed him when he spoke next. “Make sure she takes them _every_ night, at least an hour before bed. Preferably with food, especially with the chewable ones.”

 

Carol gasped in surprise when she realised the doctor had made the assumption the two of them were together. She opened her mouth to tell him she would be taking care of the pill situation herself, when Daryl’s voice stopped her in her tracks.

 

“I’ll make sure she takes ‘em, Doc.”

 

Carol couldn’t decide if she was more irritated or touched by his actions. After everything they’d been through, she still wasn’t sure if this thing between them was going to work. She wanted to believe it was possible, wished for it more than anything...but the trust she’d once had in him was broken. She was stuck in the middle of formulating some kind of reply, when Daryl Dixon struck again, offering her that half smile which never failed to make her knees go weak.

 

“I gotcha some stuff,” he told her softly as he moved backwards only to slide his hand across her shoulders once more. Maneuvering her towards the door, he lead her outside to where the truck was parked close to the main gates. He didn’t pull his arm away while they walked. He wanted her closer, and not just like this either. Their hips bumped together as they walked side by side...and he couldn’t ignore the fact she held her arms crossed over her stomach, as if she was protecting their herself from him. He’d never felt this way before, and even though these feelings inside him were so confusing, they were all consuming at the same time.

 

If this was love, then he was totally smitten. He could just hear Merle’s voice in his head, guffawing at him for being such a pussy...but he blocked him out, and told him to fuck the hell off. He loved Carol, _really_ loved her...she was having his baby, _his_...and even though the prospect of becoming a father terrified him, he knew everything would be okay, because Carol was its mother. Pride filled his chest as he glanced down at her. This woman was amazing...she was strong, patient, beautiful, and so many other things he couldn’t describe. He couldn’t help but notice how she avoided his gaze, or how she kept herself at a distance despite his attempts to keep her close...but he wanted her so badly, it was physically painful.

 

Carol’s heart was screaming for her to see how hard he was trying to make her believe he was serious about them...but she let silence fall between them. She was almost afraid to speak for fear of saying the wrong thing to make him run again. She stole glances when she thought he wasn’t looking, and scolded herself for being so ridiculous. They weren’t teenagers, and she wasn’t some beautiful young thing who had men fighting for her affections. She was a grown woman who happened to be in love with a man who didn’t want her...and it hurt...it really, _really_ hurt...but after Lizzie, and everyone else she’d killed, maybe this was just the punishment she deserved for her heinous crimes.

 

Carol’s eyes widened in surprise when they reached the open truck, scattering all of the thoughts which only served to weigh her down. Leaving his side, she instantly missed the feel of him, but the loss soon faded when she saw what looked like a tiny white clothes hanger peeking over the loosely closed box flap. Moving forward, she reached down and pushed the cardboard edges aside only to gasp out when she saw the stack of various tiny clothes. Her eyes sparkled with wonder as she turned her head to look at him, unable to stop the smile from lifting her lips.

 

“Daryl…” she gushed as she ran her fingertips across the soft material before reaching inside to pull out a tiny sleepsuit.

 

“Is it okay?” he asked worriedly, his eyes watching her closely while she pulled at a second plastic clothes hanger.

 

“Daryl,” she gasped his name again, her smile widening even further when she lifted out another little outfit. “These are perfect…”

 

“I got a bunch of ‘em, got different sizes and colours. Thought the other kids here could use ‘em if they’re no good for ours.”

 

Carol’s heart gave a little flutter when he spoke, She wondered if he even realised he’d eased some of her fears by saying that one tiny word... _ours_.

 

“Yes,” she nodded, smiling through a sudden wave of emotion. Blinking rapidly, she swallowed at the lump in her throat before she replaced the clothes back into the box.

 

“Found a bunch of other stuff too,” he told her, his voice growing a little more excited when he ushered her towards a flat box which was propped up against one of the others. “Found a couple of these in the baby store, so me and Ezekiel grabbed as many as we could fit in the truck.”

 

“You found travel cots?” She asked incredulously, shaking her head in awe. “We couldn’t even find any for Judith…”

 

“Yeah...got lucky I guess,” he shrugged, as if this find was nothing special. “I wanted to find a real crib for our kid, but…”

 

“No, this is perfect,” she told him gleefully as she ran her hand over the sealed box. “It’s going to make things so much easier, not just for me, but for some of the other mothers here.”

 

“There’s some bottles and other crap in that one,” he told her as he pointed to another box, trying not to dwell on the fact she had said _me_ instead of _us_. He wasn’t going to let her do this on her own, even if she thought she had to. This was his kid she was having, his only kid...he wanted to be here for everything.

 

“Thank you,” she nodded, her eyes raking over the treasures he’d brought back from the run.

 

Daryl kept his eyes on her while she moved to some of the other items they’d found. She took his breath away...even more than when they’d first met. She had always had a quiet sincerity about her; it was one of the first things he’d noticed with her. She was the first woman who treated him like he mattered; like he wasn’t just some redneck trash Merle tried to imply she’d thought they both were. Carol had always been so different than the rest of them. She was special.

 

“Is there anythin’ else yer gonna need?” he asked when she turned, momentarily stunning him with her beauty. Her bright eyes caught him, capturing his gaze in a way no one else ever had before.

 

“Not yet,” she told him, moving closer to him. “You’ve already done more for me than Ed ever did.”

 

The name of her dead husband left a sour taste in his mouth, but he pushed those thoughts away before they could fester. The asshole wasn’t going to ruin this for her. She deserved to be treated with love and respect, and Daryl was determined to show her everyday if she would let him.

 

“I ain’t gonna let ya do things on yer own like that asshole,” he told her as he reached out to skim his fingertips over her shoulder. “I wanna be here for all of it...if...that’s okay.”

 

Swallowing heavily, Carol tried not to react to his touch. He’d fooled her like this once before, but her heart wouldn’t listen to her caution. She found herself agreeing before she could think twice...and she was rewarded by the brightest smile he’d ever bestowed on her. She was in big trouble, she knew it. This man had the power to make her insides melt with his touch, and her knees to grow weak. She loved him so much, despite the pain he’d caused her, and she cursed herself for not fighting him.

 

“Talked to Zeke while we were out there.” Daryl dropped his hand away from her shoulder to hang loosely at his side. “He said ya was teaching some of these people how to fight...and I thought, if I’m gonna stay, I can help ya with that.”

 

Carol’s eyes widened in surprise. Everything was moving so fast, she didn’t have time to breathe. She had managed to get to a point where she was trying to put her life back together. In the last six weeks without him, she had slowly begun to banish him out of her heart...but here he was, pushing all of the hurt aside to take up residence once more, and she was more confused than ever.

 

“I guess,” she started, trying to keep the waver from her voice. “You could take the morning groups. That’s when the sickness is worse.”

 

“‘M sorry I made ya get sick,” his voice was soft as he spoke, and he was watching her with so much warmth. He could see how her eyes were so much brighter, sparkling with unshed tears. All he wanted to do was hold her and try to erase his stupid mistake, but when she spoke again, she knocked all of his breath from his lungs.

 

“At least...I know it really happened,” she told him sadly. “Sometimes I think it was just a really good dream...well until the end, anyway.”

 

“Carol…”

 

“No…” holding up her hand to silence him, she took a step back to put some distance between them. “I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have said that. You had your reasons and...I’m the one who pushed you into it…”

 

“What?” he asked, his voice hitching in his throat as he reached for her. “It weren’t like that...wouldn’t have been there with ya if I didn’t wanna be there.”

 

Carol swallowed hard and averted his eyes, hurt burning ferociously in her chest. Swiping her fingers across her cheek, she wiped away the tear which broke free.

 

“I wasn’t enough to make you stay though,” she whispered brokenly before she found the last vestiges of her courage and turned her head to face him. “Was I?”

 

Daryl could feel the sting of tears in his eyes when she looked up at him. There was so much hurt mirrored back at him, and he didn’t know how to fix it.

 

“Weren’t _you_ …” he tried, hoping he could convince her to believe him, but the moment the words left his lips, he knew they were a mistake. She was nodding, unable to stop the wet droplets from tumbling over her cheeks.

 

“The old _it’s not you, it’s me, speech_ ,” she chuckled mirthlessly, sadness creeping through her voice. “Not like I haven’t heard _that_ one before.”

 

“Carol…” he gasped out, stumbling over the words he wanted to say. “No...that’s not it...I…”

 

“I know why you ran,” she blurted, nodding as she took another backwards step. “I do...and it’s okay...really...I can hardly bear to look at my scars either...so...don’t feel you have to stay here out of some kind of duty. I’m fine on my own.”

 

What the hell had just happened? Daryl watched her retreating form and was totally lost. Only a short time ago she was allowing him to hold her. She was smiling and he thought they were making some progress, but now...She thought he didn’t want her? _Fuck this shit_ he thought, moving to pull the shutters down on the truck. He was going to sort this crap out right now and make her see he wanted her in every sense of the word. He was going to show her one way or another he wasn’t going to run from her this time...never again...

 

000

 

By the time Carol reached the safety of her room, she was already weeping. She felt so empty, and so...lost. Her life wasn’t supposed to be like this. With Ed gone, it should have been a joyous time for her and Sophia, but she’d lost her too in this whole messed up world. Her beautiful little girl had been taken from this ugly world, and she’d been spared from the horrors it brought with it...but here she was, mid forties and pregnant once again, but instead of being filled with joy and hope...she was filled with fear and loss…

 

Pushing her door open, she stepped over the threshold and welcomed the semi darkness. This was her own place of safety. This room had comforted her when she first arrived. It listened to her sobs and kept her secrets. When she woke from her nightmares with whispered names on her lips, this room remained silent, providing her with a haven to unleash all of the burdens she carried.

 

Closing the door behind her, Carol moved towards her unmade bed and sat down heavily on the edge of the mattress. What was she going to do now? Daryl wanted to stay, and he wanted to be a father to their child. She should be overjoyed that he wanted to take an active role in this whole process, but how could she see him everyday and not feel pain? What happened when he met someone who he did want to be with, what then? Would their child become second on his list, while she was relegated further down...or cast aside altogether?

 

By the time she realised she’d been sitting on her bed fretting about the future, darkness had completely filled the room. Swiping at her cheeks, she slid off the bed and moved across to the small lamp on the bedside table. Clicking it on, she took a deep breath as she berated herself for being so foolish. She was a grown woman...a strong woman. She had buried her pain before; becoming a master at hiding it behind her solid walls. She would just need to do it again that’s all.

 

The sudden knock on her door startled her for a moment, and she found herself cursing whoever had dared to intrude upon her self wallowing pity party. Moving towards the door, she yanked it open, ready to berate Jerry for coming by so late, but the words she was going to say were suddenly lost on her lips.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Daryl…” his name came out in a rush when she saw a look of determination in his eyes. “I...is everything okay?”

 

“No…” shaking his head, he shifted uncomfortably until he took a step towards her. He moved into the room, walking over the threshold without waiting for an invite. Taking a firm hold of her shoulders, he closed the gap between them, pressing his lips to hers in a firm, closed-mouthed kiss.

 

All of the air left Carol’s lungs when he held onto her, increasing the pressure slightly before he pulled his lips from hers just as quickly. He was looking at her as if everything he wanted to say to her could be conveyed in that one kiss...but he knew it wasn’t enough just to show her. He needed to tell her she was everything...that he couldn’t lose her...or how he wanted to be closer.

 

“Daryl…”

 

“I didn’t leave cuz I didn’t want ya,” he whispered gruffly, his breath fanning her face as he hovered close to her lips. “And I don’t care if ya got scars…”

 

“But you _do_ …” she whispered brokenly. “You _saw_...and the second you did, you _ran_...”

 

“Weren’t…” Moving closer, he rested his forehead against hers. “It wasn’t that…”

 

“Then _what?_ ” she asked, her whispered words giving way to tears. “Was it... _me_...did I do something wrong?”

 

“No... _no_ …” his own eyes watered, the droplets spilling over to roll down his cheeks. “No…”

 

They were both caught between sobs when he trailed his lips over her forehead, nuzzling her soft skin before he moved lower. He kissed her eyes, and then her cheeks...tasting the salty droplets which mingled with his own...His tears fell unchecked, all the while omitting soft sobs with every kiss he bestowed over her cheeks. He hovered over her lips as he cradled her face between his hands. Pulling back slightly, his gaze focused on her closed eyes, and he lost his breath once more at the sheer beauty of her. When her eyelids fluttered open and she looked back at him with so much need, he knew he only ever wanted to be right here with her forever.

 

“Don’t wanna lose ya,” he whispered, dropping his hands to skim over her arms before holding onto her fingers. With a soft sigh he lowered his head to bury his face against her shoulder. “Can’t live in this fucked up world without ya, Carol...I can’t…”

 

“I…” she started, completely overwhelmed by him.

 

“Love ya...ya know I do... _right?_ ” he asked then, lifting his head just enough to see her eyes sparkle with fresh tears.

 

Carol nodded silently, unable to stop the tears from tumbling over her cheeks with his soft admission. She wanted to tell him she loved him too; how she had loved him for so long...but she couldn’t, not yet. She was so afraid of this thing between them...he had so much power over her; it scared her. If she let him back in, and he ran again, what happened then? She couldn’t keep forgiving him every single time...she had done enough of that with Ed...no...she had to be strong this time, if only for her own sanity.

 

“I... _want_ to be with you,” she told him as she squeezed his fingers. “But...I can’t just...forget what you did...I know you want me to...but…”

 

“I don’t,” he whispered, pressing his lips against her forehead. “I just want ya to know...I ain’t never...sex _ain’t_ ever been...not like that.. _not_ like…”

 

Carol could feel her heart aching for him. He was trying so hard to make her believe him, and now she knew he’d run because he’d been overwhelmed; everything seemed to slot into place. She held onto his hands as she slowly stepped back enough so she could see his face.

 

“I _do_ love you,” she told him through a well of emotion. “But...if we’re _ever_ going to be together that way again...I need to know you’ll stay.”

 

“Ain’t gonna leave ya again,” his voice was rough as he spoke, his eyes boring into hers with a fierce intensity.

 

“Then...what do you want?” she asked, holding his gaze. “Because, if it’s just sex…”

 

“It ain’t…”

 

“Then, stay here, at the kingdom…with me.” She twined their fingers together, her hopeful eyes brimming with tears. “Help me to trust you again.”

 

“I’ll do anythin’,” he promised, nodding his head as he lowered his lips to nuzzle her hair. “I want us to start over.”

 

“I do too,” her voice was soft as she untangled their fingers to move in closer. She slid her fingers over his chest and tilted her face until his lips kissed along her hairline before landing on her forehead.

 

“Then that's what we'll do…” he whispered, his warm breath heating her skin. “You and me…”

 

“Okay…”

 

“Okay?” he asked hopefully, pulling back a little so he could see her eyes.

 

“Yes,” she sniffed, not caring when welling tears tumbled over her cheeks. “Yes…”

 

Lifting his hands to cradle her face once more, Daryl wiped her tears away with his thumbs. Tilting her face upwards he met her gaze, before lowering his lips to hers in a soft, chaste kiss. When he pulled away, their eyes met and held, both of them conveying everything they already knew.

 

“Gonna let ya get some rest,” he whispered, his breath fanning against her lips.

 

“Okay…”

 

Dropping his hands from her face, Daryl traced his fingers over her shoulders, holding her close despite his intentions to leave her for the night. She, too, seemed to be in no hurry to move, and the impossibility of this whole situation was becoming too much to bear. Daryl knew he had to leave...he had to break through her magnetic pull, but the need to stay was so strong.

 

“I’m gonna go,” he told her, dipping to kiss her one more time...but one kiss turned into two, and then into three, until they eventually pulled apart...but still wrapped around each other, holding on to one another so tightly.

 

“Where are you staying?” she asked, her voice muffled against his chest while they unconsciously swayed. Turning her face, she nestled her head beneath his chin and closed her eyes. She had never felt like this before, not even in those early days when Ed had been so charming.

 

“Jerry’s got a cot in his room,” he told her, his words tumbling into her hair. “I think he wants to keep an eye on me.”

 

“What?” she asked, snuggling in closer. “Why?”

 

“Think he doesn’t trust me yet,” he told her, his lips nuzzling her soft strands. “Not with you anyway.”

 

Carol couldn’t help the soft chuckle that escaped from her lips as she hugged him a little tighter, before she slowly loosened her hold on him. Leaning back, she looked up at him and shook her head in amusement. “Jerry?”

 

“Yep,” he grinned. “But...he’s lookin’ out for ya, and that’s okay.”

 

“I guess it is,” she told him as she tried to stifle a yawn. Lowering her head back to his chest, she sighed. “Sorry…”

 

“Nah, don’t be,” Kissing her head once more, Daryl gently pushed her away from him and stepped backwards. “‘M gonna go.”

 

Carol nodded silently. Her feelings were warring inside her and she wanted nothing more than to pull him back to her, but she knew she wasn’t ready to do anything more than this yet. Following him, she could already feel the emptiness creeping around her when he opened the door and stepped out into the hall.

 

“Ya take your vitamins yet?” he asked, smiling when she took another step towards him.

 

“Not yet, but I will,” she told him as she reached up to press one last kiss against his lips. They were standing so close together, fighting the urge to hold onto each other.

 

“Gonna go…”

 

“Okay…” she nodded, smiling even as he started to back away.

 

“I’ll see ya tomorrow,” he told her, gravitating to her mouth one more time to press his lips to hers in a soft, brief kiss. He took two steps backwards, smiling at her when she leaned against the doorframe.

 

Carol held her breath when he stopped moving, his eyes searching hers. Neither of them were doing a very good job of saying goodnight, and she knew he wanted to stay...but it was too soon. He seemed to read her thoughts, because he nodded once, smiling one last time before he turned fully around and began to walk away.

 

_“Daryl…”_

 

When he turned, he smiled at her questioningly as she stepped over the threshold to approach him. Reaching for his hand, she lifted his palm against her cheek and looked up at him with a watery smile.

 

“We’ll take things slow…” she told him on a whisper as she turned her face to place a soft kiss into his palm. She heard his sharp intake of breath as she nuzzled his hand, and she knew she had to break away now before she pulled him back into her room again. “...Until we’re ready to try again?”

 

At his nod, she rewarded him with a bright smile then lowered his hand and stepped away from him. She didn’t stop him when he turned away this time, instead she kept her eyes on him until he disappeared...keeping a further vigil on the empty space just in case he returned. Sighing heavily, she retreated back to her room, trying not to dwell on the heavy silence surrounding her...but for the first time since that fateful day their lives had been irrevocably changed, she finally felt the heavy veil of sorrow slowly lifting...love and hope taking its place.

tbc


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and comments. I really appreciate them all.
> 
> Huge thanks and love to my beta CharlotteAshmore. :)

It was the bright sunshine filling her room which awoke Carol the next morning. Yawning, she pulled herself out of bed, fighting off the fatigue still clinging to her body. She’d had a restless night after Daryl had left. There was a fluttering inside her heart which she was sure hadn’t been there before. Even back at the farm and the prison, in those early days, when she’d felt the first stirrings of attraction to him. Whenever he’d graced her with a smile, he had managed to turn her into an emotional puddle. She’d been sure back then that these feelings were because he was the first man who had ever shown her any kind of affection. It didn’t matter if it was a smile, or the barest of touches...it had been enough to set her pulse racing and for her to believe in such a thing as joy again.

 

His presence here, and his admissions of love and of wanting to be with her...they all mounted up to her fighting with her rational brain. She was so close to giving in to her heart completely...but rushing into the new and fragile relationship she’d created with Daryl, could possibly spell a disaster for both of them. As much as she loved him, he had still hurt her when he’d left...and as much as she wanted to be with him in every sense of the word, there was still a small part of her which feared he would leave her again.

 

Placing her feet onto the floor, she shivered when the cold seeped into her skin. Reaching across for her cargo pants draped over the nearby chair, she pulled them over her shaky legs before fastening the button together. Her fingers lingered over her stomach, and she couldn’t help but wonder how long it would be before she started to show. She wasn’t sure she was ready to answer anyone’s questions, or the inevitable stares she knew would come her way. With Sophia, everyone had already assumed she’d been in her mid forties because of her greying hair. Ed wouldn’t let her dye it, and he’d forced her to shave her long curly locks when he’d caught another man smile at her in passing. She’d received one of the worst beatings she’d ever had after that simple gesture...and because of it, she’d learned never to make eye contact with anyone again.

 

Now, even though she wasn’t old by any means, she was still older than most of the new mothers around the Kingdom. She was probably the oldest pregnant woman there would be around here for a long time to come. The people here were good people...and whether they meant to or not, Carol knew they would look upon her with surprise and judgement anyway. She could almost hear Ed’s laughter accompanying the uneasy feeling she had about all of this. He’d taken pleasure in every opportunity to belittle her, even when she was pregnant with _his_ child. And here she was now, finding herself pregnant again, more worried about the comments from others than she knew she should be. With a heavy sigh, Carol forced the old memories of the tyrant she’d married away from her mind. He had no place here anymore.

 

Moving towards the little dresser beside her bed, she opened the door and pulled out a pair of socks. She had exactly three pairs, every single one of them bearing holes in the worn material. There were times when she’d used to sit in her quiet cell at the prison with a pile of socks and garments. Darning by candlelight had never been the best thing for her eyes, but she’d always enjoyed the menial task anyway. Maybe it was time to pick up her needle and thread again. Now she was pregnant, she could trade in her gun for a pile of mending, but even with Negan gone, no one could become complacent anymore.

 

She pulled on her socks one by one, and berated herself for dwelling on the past. It was all gone now. There was nothing but the here and now...and a future she wanted to build with the father of her child. Slipping her socked feet into her boots, she bent to lace them up, but when she sat back up again she was hit by a wave of dizziness which took her breath away. Swallowing hard, she shifted a little and eased herself down onto the floor. Closing her eyes only made it worse and she focused on the closed door, praying the room would stop spinning long enough for her to get to the bathroom.

 

A soft tap on her door caused her to draw in a breath. She could hear Daryl calling her name, and no matter how much she tried to stifle a sob, it was loud enough for him to hear it. She was torn between wanting him to help her through this bout of vertigo and sending him away. When he tapped on the door again, his voice rose a little more before the handle turned and the door slowly opened.

 

_“Carol…”_ his frantic gasp filled the room as he pushed the door open further and rushed inside. Sinking to his knees beside her, he raked his hands over her shoulders, searching her eyes with barely contained fear.

 

“Dizzy,” she managed to say before he shifted on his knees to scoop her up into his arms. “‘M okay…”

 

“Y’ain’t okay,” he hissed out, his voice stuttered as he spoke. “Tell me what to do...please?”

 

Carol’s stomach was rolling again and she shook her head as her eyes grew wide as she covered her mouth with her hand.

 

“Gonna be sick,” she groaned, expecting him to put her back onto the floor, but he didn’t. Instead he carried her out of the her room only to place her on her feet outside the tiny bathroom door. There was nothing romantic about the gesture when all Carol could focus on was getting to the toilet before she hurled.

 

Daryl lingered in the doorway, torn between giving her some privacy and needing to stay. He opted to move into the tiny room with her, bending to rub his hand soothingly over her back while she retched. He stayed with her, keeping vigil and when she tried to stand on shaky legs, his tender hands helped her to her feet. Reaching around her, he flushed the toilet before pulling out an old scrunched up cloth he always kept in his back pocket. Turning on the faucet, he held the material beneath the trickling water and wrung it out before turning her around to dab it over her flushed face.

 

“Gonna be okay,” he soothed softly when her eyes filled with tears. “Gonna be here to help ya...ya know that right?”

 

Carol’s whole body was shivering when he tossed the cloth into the sink before pulling her against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, tucking her head beneath his chin. They were cramped together inside this tiny bathroom, but he didn’t care. All he knew was he needed to protect her in any way he could.

 

“Ya ready to get outta here?” he asked softly, his breath puffing against her hair.

 

“Not yet,” she mumbled, her voice muffled against his shirt as she slowly extracted herself from him. “I have to pee…”

 

“Oh…” Daryl’s eyes flared and his cheeks flushed crimson when he realised he’d rushed into the bathroom with her without thinking of anything else. He slipped his arms from around her shoulders and retrieved the wet rag from the sink before he stepped back out into the hall. “I’ll...be out there.”

 

“Okay,” she nodded, her eyes wet and gleaming when she chuckled at the absurdity of it all. This man had seen her naked...he’d touched her in places no man had ever touched her, yet a simple thing like peeing had him all flustered. As soon as the door closed, she couldn’t help but smile despite how awful she felt right now...Daryl was here...and so far, he hadn’t run away.

 

000

 

Three weeks had passed since that day in the bathroom, and the two of them had fallen into an easy routine. They had become closer than they’d ever been. Carol still kept him at arm's length, unable to go any further than kissing him goodnight at her door every single night. His visits were lasting longer and at times they had fallen asleep together on her narrow bed, wrapped in each others arms...but as soon as they woke with the darkness seeping in around them, he’d bid her goodnight and left her to sleep alone in her bed.

 

During the waking hours, he was attentive towards her. He kept a watchful eye on her, even though at times she found it to be infuriating...but other times, he was there to offer her comfort when little things snuck up on her to reduce her to tears. The first time she couldn’t fasten her button on her her pants, he’d held her while she wept like it was the worst thing in the world. When she’d thrown up over her floor because she couldn’t get to the toilet in time, he’d rubbed her back and told her it was all going to be okay. He had been a steady presence by her side, holding off any questions when people started to notice her odd behaviour.

 

Every night became harder, and she was beginning to dread the darkness swallowing the daylight when it meant he would be leaving her room. She knew she had asked for it to be this way, but there were nights she just wanted to grasp hold of his hand and never let him go. So far he’d followed every one of her self imposed rules. He hadn’t questioned it when she’d stopped his hand from wandering over her body...he’d just nodded, offering her an apologetic kiss before he’d left her for the night again.

 

Last night, after he’d left her room, she’d looked after him longingly when he’d backed out of the door. She’d been so close to asking him to come back to her...So close to trying again...but the same fear of his rejection still clung to her like a lead lined veil. Part of her wanted to just lock the door so he couldn’t escape, but if they eventually had sex again, she wanted him to stay because he wanted to, not because she’d forced him. Maybe she could get past the pain and try to trust him with her heart...she really wanted to.

 

With her morning lessons over, Carol made her way towards the small truck where Daryl was helping Jerry to unload some boxes from the back. Her eyes drank him in. The way his shoulder muscles rippled beneath his shirt caused her breath to hitch in her throat. He was such a beautiful man...with his quiet presence and the intensity with which he watched her...he made her feel beautiful even when she didn’t feel it herself. He was so patient with her when she pushed him away, knowing it was his own actions which had made her so cautious...but as she watched him now, she wondered how long she could keep fighting the need to be with him again. She was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. His magnetic pull becoming too strong for her to resist.

 

Her nausea had decreased somewhat over the last few weeks, much to her relief. The week before, Daryl had found several packets of pretzels in one of the gas stations on their last run. They were over a year out of date, but she didn’t care about that. They were just about the only thing she could eat without spending most of the morning hunched over the toilet bowl. She’d managed to make them last, but she was down to the last few packs now...and even though Daryl had promised to try and find more, it wasn’t something they could pop out to the grocery store to buy anymore. She was hoping the worst of the morning sickness was over now, but from past experience she knew it was just wishful thinking. She still had dizzy spells, but since she’d begun taking the prenatal vitamins, she did feel so much better than before.

 

Making her way towards the two men, she resisted the urge to run her hand over Daryl’s back. This man had done exactly what he’d promised her he would do. She needed vitamins, so he went out to find them. She’d mentioned the only things that didn’t make her sick were crackers and pretzels...and once again, he went out to find them for her. He was everything Ed had never been...and she loved him so much for it. She moved to Daryl’s side, suddenly overcome with a need to be near him. It was irrational and went against everything she’d promised herself, but she couldn’t stop it. The burst of love was much too strong to fight, and with it came those all consuming feelings of pride that he was really hers. Needing to do something other than glue herself to his side, she decided to help. Reaching out to grasp one of the smaller boxes, she stopped when Daryl’s hand landed on hers.

 

“What d’ya think ya doin’ woman?” Daryl asked, his voice louder than he’d intended. “Y’ain’t gotta do that.”

 

“I can help.”

 

“Ya should be restin’,” he told her, his light touch sending her pulse rate rising.

 

“I will,” she promised, smiling at him despite the rising annoyance at his often suffocating protectiveness. “I feel better today...for the first time in so long, I feel like myself.”

 

“That’s great,” he nodded, squeezing her fingers before he gently coaxed her to move backwards. “All the more reason for ya to sit down and take it easy.”

 

“Daryl…” she groaned in exasperation. “I’m capable of lifting _small_ boxes!”

 

“Doc said ya weren’t to exert yerself...and ya know what he told us about the risks cuz of yer…”

 

“Because I’m geriatric?” she groused, stepping back to fold her arms across her chest. “Yes I remember. This _old_ body of mine can’t take the strain of lifting a _small_ box!”

 

“Y’ aint a fuckin’ geriatric,” he groaned as he turned away from the truck to grasp her shoulders in both of his hands. “And ya ain’t old neither...I don’t want ya to get hurt, that’s all.”

 

“I can’t just sit back and not do anything, Daryl,” she told him on a sigh. “I managed Sophia’s pregnancy just fine, and I did it while cleaning the house _and_ running around after Ed…”

 

“I _ain’t_ like that fuckin’ _asshole_ ,” he growled, squeezing her shoulders a little as he spoke. “I ain’t gonna let ya run yerself ragged...and if I have to tie ya down to make ya sit still, I _will!_ ”

 

A little spark of desire flickered in her eyes when she heard his unintentional innuendo. It had been a long time since she’d felt relaxed enough to feel this way...and the whole new set of emotions took her by surprise. A sudden wave of love washed over her and she reached out to brace her palms flat against his chest. He wasn’t one to be overtly big on public displays, but he didn’t seem to mind when she stepped in a little closer so he could slide his arms around her.

 

“I know you’re only trying to protect me,” she whispered, her voice muffled against his shirt. “But I’m not going to do anything I shouldn’t.”

 

“I know,” he sighed as he rested his lips against her temple. “Just don’t wanna see ya get hurt, that’s all.”

 

“I won’t…”

 

Jerry lifted the last box from the back of the truck and stacked it on top of the others. He stopped to watch his two friends for a moment, his wide grin almost splitting his face in two. He’d seen how Carol seemed to be so much happier of late. She had lost the worry lines beneath her eyes, and the constant sheen of tears she thought no one else saw. However long Daryl was staying for, he was sure his presence here had contributed to his friend’s lighter mood.

 

“I’m gonna take these to Samantha in the store room,” he grinned, holding up a hand to silence them when they pulled apart.

 

“Sorry,” Daryl grunted, blushing furiously when he eased Carol out of his embrace. “I’ll help ya.”

 

“Nah...you should stay and finish whatever that was,” he winked, his loud guffaw bringing a gleam to Carol’s eyes.

 

“You think you’re so funny,” she chuckled, shaking her head as she followed Daryl to the pile of boxes and motioned for him to pass one to her.

 

“Nah…” he started, but she shook her head to stop his protests.

 

“Hand me one of the lighter ones.”

 

With a heavy sigh, Daryl looked to Jerry for support, but the hefty man just shrugged his shoulders before he lifted two large crates and turned away.

 

“Fuckin’ traitor,” Daryl groused when his hands brushed over the remaining boxes as he tested their weight. When he found a relatively lighter one, he lifted it with one hand and handed it to her.

 

“Daryl, this barely weighs anything,” she huffed as she indicated some of the other stacked items. “I can carry another one.”

 

“No…”

 

“But…”

 

“Said no…” Daryl’s voice rose a little as he spoke, his stance defiant despite the love in his eyes. “The other’s are heavy...don’t want ya hurtin’ yerself.”

 

“Daryl...I…”

 

“Hey you two,” a soft female voice interrupted their moment, and the protests Carol was going to say suddenly filtered away.

 

Standing before them, Samantha grinned when she moved closer to flash Daryl a bright smile. “I just passed Jerry on my way here. I thought I could lend a hand.”

 

Over the last few weeks, Carol had noticed how the blonde woman had been paying far too much attention to Daryl. So far it had only been casual flirting, but this woman...this younger _blonde_ woman, had Carol gritting her teeth on more than one occasion.

 

“We’ve got it,” Carol snapped as she lifted the box she held a little tighter. She met Daryl’s confused gaze when she flashed him an irritated glare, but to her dismay, he either didn’t realise Samantha was flirting, or he was deliberately choosing not to notice.

 

Hoisting up two crates, Daryl indicated for Samantha to bring one of the smaller ones before he turned to meet Carol’s eyes. The two of them began to walk towards the store room, leaving the younger woman to hurriedly pick up her crate and struggle to catch them up.

 

“What?” Daryl asked when he saw Carol avert her gaze when the other woman finally caught up to them.

 

“These are heavy…” Samantha gasped, her eyes noting the smaller box Carol held and compared it to hers. She maneuvered it a little higher and flashed Daryl a dazzling smile. “You did real good this time. We’ve had more supplies since you joined us here.”

 

“Didn’t do nothin’,” Daryl told her, slightly embarrassed by her attention. “Jerry brought this back, I’m just helpin’ to carry it that’s all.”

 

“And you, Carol?” Samantha asked, her voice sickly sweet with just a hint of sarcasm. “Are you helping to carry too?”

 

“Yeah,” Carol smiled, keeping her voice just as sweet. “Daryl wouldn’t let me carry anything heavier because I still get dizzy. So, looks like you’ll be lifting more than I will today. _So_ sorry about that!”

 

Carol turned her head away and gritted her teeth as she quickened her pace. Anger seethed through her and she wanted nothing more than to toss this box aside and hold her knife to the snidey bitch’s throat. She knew Samantha was only doing this to try and impress Daryl, and even though she wasn’t worried about this woman stealing him from her, she still felt vulnerable enough for it to irk at her.

 

When they got to the store room, Carol offered Jerry a tight smile as she deposited the small box onto a table and stood back to wait for Daryl and Samantha to unload theirs. She watched as Samantha rubbed at her palms, holding them in front of Daryl as if she could entice him to touch her hand. It was the last straw, and Carol did something she vowed she would never do. Acting on impulse, she moved to her man and grabbed a handful of his shirt. His eyes flared in surprise, and he opened his mouth to ask her what was wrong, but the words were lost when she pulled him forward to land her lips squarely on his.

 

For a moment, Daryl stayed stock still, his momentary shock giving way to love when Carol molded herself against his body. He was vaguely aware they had an audience, but he couldn’t seem to pull away. He heard her soft groan when she ran her tongue against his bottom lip and he felt himself shudder with the intensity of it all. Forgetting they weren’t hidden away inside her little room, he deepened their kiss, tugging her tighter against him as his tongue brushed against hers.

 

Someone clearing their throat broke through their haze, and they suddenly pulled apart. Daryl breathed heavily when he looked down at her flushed face, and he had to use every ounce of willpower he could muster not to take her hand and lead her out of this room. His eyes met hers, and the embarrassment he’d felt creeping over him suddenly melted away.

 

“I’ll see you later?” Carol asked, a little breathlessly as she smoothed her palms over his chest before she took a step back. “Come by tonight?”

 

Daryl just nodded mutely, his mind fuzzy as he tried to understand what the hell had just happened. Carol had always been so careful to keep their private moments _private_...but...whatever _that_ was...there was something almost carnal about it. He watched her leave, his eyes focused on her until she was no longer in sight. His heart was hammering inside his chest and he had no idea what had just happened, but when he turned back to tell the other woman he’d help Jerry carry the last of the boxes, his mouth clamped closed when he saw Jerry and Samantha gaping at him.

 

_“What?”_ he asked, blushing a little when Jerry’s grin just grew even wider. “Can’t a man kiss his _woman_ without ya actin’ all weird about it?”

 

“Is that what it was?” Jerry chuckled, delighted with Carol’s oh so public display of staking her claim on her man. “Come on lover boy, we’ve got work to do.”

 

“Fuck off,” Daryl griped, his face flushing when he suddenly realised the blonde woman in the room was staring at him with wide, glazed eyes.

 

“I...I’m going to start sorting through these,” Samantha told him, her voice flat as she turned away from him and began opening one of the boxes.

 

Daryl just nodded, turning to walk beside Jerry when they made their way back towards the truck.

 

“So, are you going to tell me what that was back there?” Jerry asked, his elbow nudging Daryl gently as they walked.

 

“What?”

 

“Carol…” Jerry grinned. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you two...ya know...well _not_ like that…”

 

Daryl’s face flushed crimson, but he made no attempt to answer the man beside him. He had no idea why Carol had jumped him like that either...but he wasn’t complaining. In all the time he’d been here, she’d been so careful to avoid any public displays. Maybe it was because she was feeling better...maybe…

 

“You want to know what I think?” Jerry asked, his infectious grin causing Daryl to offer him a returning scowl.

 

“Sure ya gonna tell me.”

 

“She’s warning Samantha you’re hers,” Jerry told him, nodding to himself when they reached the stack of remaining crates. “She’s seen how _she_ looks at you.”

 

“What?” Daryl huffed as he bent to grasp hold of the last two crates on his pile. “Ya don’t know what ya talkin’ about. That woman ain’t lookin’ to me for nothin’.”

 

Jerry chuckled when he put the last crate on top of his pile and bent to wrap his fingers around the edges of the lower one. Lifting them up with effortless ease, he walked beside the gruff man and grinned at him triumphantly.

 

“I haven’t known Carol long, but I know she’s fierce,” Jerry told him as he huffed out a breath. “She’s got more balls than either of us.”

 

“Yeah, she has,” Daryl told him proudly, even though his mind was still trying to process Jerry’s earlier proclamation. How could Carol ever think he’d look at any other woman?

 

“Just calling it as I see it, my friend,” Jerry smiled. “Carol sent out a warning today. I just hope Samantha heeds it because I’d hate to see her mad.”

 

“Carol ain’t like that...ya don’t know shit…

 

“Yeah...we’ll see,” Jerry chortled. “Women are batshit crazy, and they’re even worse when they’re pregnant!”

 

“Pfft…”

 

“Mark my words…” Jerry’s voice dropped away when the two of them moved back into the store room and placed the crates onto the table. He caught Daryl’s eyes and nodded towards the woman who was busy writing items on an inventory sheet. “Hey, Samantha, that’s the last of them. Can we help you with anything else?”

 

Samantha looked up and eyed the two men. Placing the pen and paper onto the table, she came towards them. Her face was slightly pale, but she offered both of them a bright smile before stiffly rolling her shoulders.

 

“What’s wrong with your shoulder?” Jerry asked, concern in his voice as he looked across to the man beside him. He could see Daryl was uninterested, his arms folded across his chest while he waited for this conversation to be over.

 

“Oh,” Samantha sighed, moving a little closer towards them; her attention focused on Daryl. “I think I hurt my shoulder carrying that crate…”

 

“Hmmm,” Daryl nodded, still unmoving. He watched the disappointment at his lack of interest register in her eyes, and it was only then he realised Jerry could be right. He hadn’t noticed it before, but this woman was definitely trying to get his attention. Unfolding his arms, he cleared his throat and took a couple of steps backwards. “Should get the doc to take a look.”

 

“Oh…” Samantha’s eyes grew wider when he simply nodded his head towards Jerry before he turned around, effectively brushing her off.

 

Daryl ignored the woman as he strode out of the room and out into the afternoon sunshine. He had to find Carol. If that woman had put doubts in her head about his commitment to her, then he was going to make sure she knew there wouldn’t ever be anyone else...

tbc


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the review and Kudos. I appreciate every one
> 
> Huge thanks to my betas CharlotteAshmore and BettyBubble

Carol couldn’t believe she’d done that. She had always told herself she wouldn’t succumb to petty jealousy, but seeing Samantha practically throwing herself at Daryl...it was the final straw. Maybe it was because she was pregnant, or maybe it was because she was still in the first flush of her relationship with Daryl...but whatever it was, she didn’t like the way it made her feel.

 

In the early days of her marriage to Ed, Carol had been incredibly jealous when he would come home spelling of cheap perfume. She had always believed him when he’d come up with excuses...but as time wore on and his excuses wore thin, so did her trust. Not long after, he’d hit her for the first time, and she’d started to wish he would just go off with one of his many women and never come home again...But Daryl wasn’t Ed. He was so far away from her monstrous husband in every possible way. The major difference was that she loved Daryl with every fibre of her being.

 

The sunlight warmed her face as she lifted her eyes heavenward . Maybe a small part of her would always be afraid to trust completely. In the past she had tried to ignore the warning signs of Ed’s infidelity. She had been weak and afraid, knowing her jealousy would have brought her undeniable pain. She hadn’t spoken up back then, instead she’d allowed it to happen... _allowed_...that word was a complete joke. She was never allowed _anything_ during her marriage. It was drummed into her over and over; she was nothing, a nobody. Her opinions, even if she had been brave enough to voice them, would have been quashed before she could speak. The only good thing she’d gotten from the whole ordeal had been her beautiful daughter...but in the end she’d lost her too, to a completely different nightmare.

 

Coming to a stop, Carol leaned against one of the fences which segregated the target range from the living area. The younger ones had left for the afternoon, their lessons long over. With no one else around, she congratulated herself for managing to find some peace in this place. Sighing heavily, she allowed the stress to slowly ebb away as she tried to focus on some kind of future here. Her unborn child would need stability, even in a world such as this. Sometimes, she wondered if the old world they used to live in had been the nightmare, and this world was the better one. Everyone back then had relied too heavily on menial things, and so many had lost the ability to just communicate on a personal level.

 

Her mind wandered to Daryl and his life before they’d met. She had often thought of how things would have been so different if the two of them had met before the world had changed. Carol was so sure she would have fallen for him back then too. If she’d had him in her life, she knew he would have given her the courage to leave her cycle of abuse. One word from him, and she would have taken her daughter and run from Ed and into the safety of Daryl’s arms. Tears glistened in her eyes when she thought of all the wasted years...if only she had met him first...if only...

 

“It is quite a sight, is it not?”

 

Ezekiel’s voice startled her for a moment, and she blinked rapidly to hide the evidence of the moisture in her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she quickly regained her composure and turned her head to look up at him. His smile warmed her a little and she realised how much she had come to like their easy friendship. She wasn’t foolish; she knew he wanted more from her. There was no way on this earth it would ever happen, even if things were different and Daryl didn’t own her heart. Ezekiel didn’t make her breath catch in her throat, or her heart beat faster. She didn’t feel her knees grow weak at the sight of him, or long to be close enough to touch…She couldn’t ever remember any man doing either of those things before, not even Ed in the very early days. Daryl just had to look at her and she felt her insides ignite.

 

“It is,” she agreed, nodding slightly as she averted her eyes to focus on the grass at her feet.

 

“Are you well?” he asked softly, his voice holding so much affection. “Your sickness?”

 

“I’m good,” she smiled, lifting her eyes back to his. “The things Daryl brought back for me have helped.”

 

“Ah...good.”

 

Ezekiel smiled tightly, his gaze leaving hers when she spoke the name of the man she loved. So much had happened in such a short time, and he had hoped that one day Carol and him would... _no_...he couldn’t cling onto that hope, not now.

 

“ _Good_...good…” he sighed. “And are you resting?”

 

“Yes,” she nodded, smiling despite the agitation sweeping through her. “Daryl has made sure I don’t really have a choice about _that_.”

 

“Ah,” he nodded knowingly. “I am sure he is only concerned for your well-being. As are we all...Your child is a blessing to us all here. It symbolises a new life after Negan’s fall.”

 

“Ezekiel...I’m not ready for people to know about this,” she told him softly when her hand moved to nestle against her flat stomach. “Only a handful of people know. I don’t want you to say anything either, not until Daryl and I are ready to announce it ourselves.”

 

“Carol...don’t you want people to share in your joy?”

 

“Of course _I_ do,” she huffed as she averted her eyes. “But it’s too soon. I’m barely ten weeks pregnant, and I want to wait.”

 

“As you wish,” he nodded, offering her a gentle smile. “Are you heeding the good doctor’s advice?”

 

Carol’s eyes snapped back to his, irritation seeping through her gaze. She knew his comment hadn’t been made to imply she wasn’t taking this pregnancy seriously, but with her heightened sensitivity lately, even the slightest misplaced word caused her anger to spike.

 

“She’s doin’ exactly what the doc told her,” a gruff voice sounded from behind them, and both turned to see Daryl approaching.

 

“Daryl?” Carol asked, her lips lifting upwards when he reached out a hand for her to take. “I thought you were helping Jerry.”

 

Moving forward, Daryl grasped hold of her fingers and gave her a gentle tug towards him. He saw Ezekiel bristle beside her, and part of him rejoiced with the flash jealousy he saw in the other man’s eyes. Carol had acted on impulse earlier, showing anyone within watching distance they were indeed together. As much as he valued their privacy, he couldn’t help but flush with excitement at her very public claim of him...and if she could do something so spontaneous, then so could he. Within seconds of her coming towards him, he reeled her in until she was flush against his chest. She melted into his embrace, winding her arms around his waist as she looked up at him with a curious smile.

 

“I was,” he told her as he lifted his free hand to trace her cheek with his fingertip. “We got it all done and I wanted to find ya…”

 

“Yeah?” she asked softly, a rosy blush creeping over her cheeks.

 

“Yeah…”

 

Beside them, Ezekiel knew he should move and leave them to whatever this was they were doing, but he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from them. He knew by the way the other man had approached, it was for a definitive purpose. It was only when he saw the look which passed between them, he realised he was watching a very private moment beginning to unfold. Opening his mouth to tell them he would leave them to talk, he couldn’t quite get the words out before their faces seemed to merge a second later.

 

Daryl pressed his mouth to hers, sealing their lips together in a kiss which almost caused Carol’s knees to buckle beneath her. Releasing her hand, Daryl wrapped both arms around her, tugging her in tighter to his body. She gasped against his mouth when he kissed her, meeting her tongue in a deep, intoxicating kiss which left her quivering in his embrace. Neither of them took any notice of the space around them, or that they had a one man audience watching them sinking deeper into one another.

 

Unable to watch any longer, Ezekiel turned around and silently walked away, not giving either of them a backwards glance as he did so. From the moment he’d seen the two of them together, he had known. He just didn’t want to accept the woman he had come to adore so much had in fact been fated to another man. Any idiot could see the love the two of them held for one another, but he had tried so hard not to see it...but it was a truth he could no longer deny. So he did the only thing he could in a situation like this...he walked away...

 

Carol could feel her whole body tingling with heat when Daryl pulled her even closer. She was overcome with an incredible need to rip his shirt from his pants so she could roam her hands over his heated skin. Whatever this was leading to went far beyond just kissing, this was pure need...and she could already feel the stirring heat coiling in her core. Tearing her mouth from his, she gasped for breath as she met his heated gaze. She knew her face was undoubtedly flushed because she could feel the heat burning through her entire body.

 

“We...should…” she started, her lips nipping at his in between words. “Stop…”

 

“Hmm…” he agreed, completely lost in the feel of her. He knew they had to stop this. What had started out as a kiss to show his rival that Carol was his, had turned into something else entirely. They were out in the open, kissing like a couple of horny teenagers who couldn’t control their urges. If they weren’t careful, they would be demonstrating a very public show that included more than just kissing. Forcing himself to break the onset of another deep kiss, Daryl took a step backwards but grasped onto her hands.

 

Carol’s eyelids fluttered open and held his gaze. The love she saw in his deep blue orbs caused her heart to beat just a little faster and she knew she was ready to trust the feelings rampaging through her. Releasing one of his hands, she started to walk, pulling him along behind her.

 

“Where’re we goin’?” he managed to squeak out before his voice crumbled completely.

 

“Do you have anywhere you need to be?” she asked him as she manouvred her hand so she could thread her fingers through his.

 

“Nah…” he started. “‘M all yours.”

 

“All mine?” she asked, flashing him a bright smile as she squeezed his fingers. This moment felt so familiar. Their first time together had started just like this, only _he_ was the one tugging _her_ by the hand. Forcing those fears aside, Carol refused to let them stop her this time. There had to be a moment of trust somewhere, and she had decided the time was going to be _right_ now.

 

Daryl’s face flushed a little when he saw the mixture of love and fear in her eyes. He settled for offering her a tight nod of his head, only too happy to follow wherever she was leading him. He watched her as they walked, his eyes catching glimpses of the smile lingering over her lips when she looked back at him. Her smile had always had the capacity to melt him from the inside out. She was the first person who had ever offered him a gentle touch...The first person he didn’t flinch away from...She was his first for many things, even in love. He’d never made love before her. Sex had just been _sex_ , no feelings or love, just a means to an end. Their first time had been beautiful and terrifying...and if he hadn’t have been so overwhelmed by it all, they could have been making love every day and night for weeks on end by now…

 

He wanted to feel it all again with her...he wanted to be consumed with passion and not feel terrified of those feelings. He’d ran before and he’d hurt both of them by his stupid mistake, but not this time... He wanted to feel the heat of her touch burning its way right through his body. He wanted to feel the love bursting through him until he couldn’t contain it any longer. He wanted to feel the total completion he’d only ever felt with her, and he needed her to know he wouldn’t run away from it this time. No matter how much it overwhelmed him. He loved her so much...more than he’d loved anyone in his life before. He’d never felt a connection to anyone, not even Merle...nothing which had been this...deep…

 

Carol clutched his hand as she led him towards the building where her little piece of solitude waited for them. Part of her was still so afraid he would leave her again, but she told herself if he did, then this would be the very last time. She wouldn’t stay with a man who ran from her the moment things became too intense. She loved him so much, but she had vowed after Ed, she would never allow herself to become that woman again.

 

When they reached her closed door, she took a deep breath before she pushed it open. Stepping over the threshold, she squeezed his fingers tighter as she tugged him into the room. Their eyes met once more, an unspoken understanding passing between them. Daryl nodded and kicked the door closed behind him; the slam echoing through the small room. Releasing her hand, he turned away from her and reached out to turn the key in the lock, listening for the soft click before he turned back towards her.

 

“If you leave…”

 

“I won’t,” he whispered, his soft promise lingering in the space between them. Moving back towards her again, he slipped his jacket from his shoulders, allowing the heavy leather to fall to the floor with a thump before he reached out to cup her cheek in the palm of his hand.

 

“Daryl…”

 

“Shhh…” his soft breath fanned against her lips as he leaned in closer, hovering over her mouth while his eyes searched hers. The love passing between them was enough to close the short distance between them, when their lips came together once more.

 

Carol’s whole body quivered when his fingers left her face to join his other hand in skimming over her shoulders. Their kiss was soft, nothing like the carnal ones the two of them had displayed outside. This one was closed mouthed, delicate and sweet…

 

Breaking the kiss, Daryl pulled back a little and looked down at her. Her eyes were closed as if she were mesmerised by the moment between them. He ran his fingertips over her arms and watched as her eyes slowly opened. The smile she granted him was enough to make his heart flutter inside his chest, and he didn’t think he had ever loved her more than right here in this moment.

 

“Can I stay?” he asked her, his voice soft and gravelled. “I don’t wanna leave ya again.”

 

Carol searched his eyes as he spoke. She could see the sincerity shining back at her but she was still so afraid this would all still be too much for him. Stepping in closer, she lifted one of her hands, brushing the backs of her fingers across his bearded chin before settling her palm over his cheek.

 

“If you leave…”

 

“Not this time,” he told her as he turned his head to press his lips against her palm before bringing his own hand up to cover hers on his face. Threading their fingers together, he gently removed their joined hands from his cheek before he turned his face back towards her and offered her a watery smile. “Don’t wanna lose ya again...I don’t think I can...do _this_...without ya…”

 

“This?” she asked softly, clutching his fingers a little tighter.

 

“Everythin’,” he told her in a rush. “Life...livin’...this whole fucked up existence...none of it means nothin’ without ya…”

 

Carol’s eyes welled with tears when she heard his soft confession. Daryl Dixon was a man of few words when it came to his feelings. He didn’t say a lot, but when he did, he spoke the perfect ones.

 

“I love you,” she told him, the soft words bringing an errant tear with them. “But if you leave me this time…”

 

“I _won’t_ …”

 

“But _if_ you do…” she whispered, moving even closer. “I’ll never let _you_ in again...you know that, _right?_ ”

 

“I know,” his soft voice puffed against her lips as he dipped in lower. “Won’t leave...never again…”

 

“Please...I…”

 

The words were lost on her lips as he swooped in to cover her mouth with his own. Untangling their hands, Carol grasped hold of his shirt, curling her finger around the material in a bid to keep him right where he was. Her heart was thumping wildly as he increased the pressure, brushing his tongue across her closed lips. She opened for him instantly, welcoming him into her mouth with a soft groan.

 

Daryl skimmed his fingers over her shoulders before he slipped his arms around her. Slanting his mouth over hers, he deepened their kiss, sinking into her with a passion unlike anything he’d felt before. He already knew how she made him feel, and even though he was still trying to control his tempestuous emotions, he welcomed every single one of them this time.

 

Carol kissed him back, her fingers tightening around the shirt she still clutched in a relentless grip. She held on tight, terrified if she loosened her hold he would run again, despite his reassurances. His lips left hers to kiss a soft trail across her cheek, then down to her ear. He kissed her lobe before he whispered the promised words which caused her to shiver against him.

 

“Ain’t gonna leave…”

 

Pulling back slightly so he could see her eyes, Daryl brought his hands from her shoulders to close around her fingers which still clutched onto his shirt. He traced her knuckles with delicate touches as he gently unclenched her hands. The moment she loosened her hold, he brought her fingers up to his lips and nuzzled soft kisses against her still white knuckles. Each kiss brought a gasp from her lips until he tugged her closer.

 

“I...I’ve missed you…” she managed to whisper through tear filled eyes.

 

“Missed ya too,” he told her as he leaned in closer to press his lips over the tears spilling over her cheeks.

 

“Please don’t go…” she half sobbed when the emotions poured out of her. “Not again...please…”

 

Stepping backwards, Daryl looked down at her with a watery gaze. He loved her, really truly loved her...and he had almost lost her because of his stupid insecurities. Glancing at the bed, he took a step towards it and brought her with him. He was going to prove to her once and for all he wanted to have everything with her.

 

Carol moved with him, holding onto his hand as she climbed up onto the bed to lower herself down onto the mattress. She watched his every move, clutching onto his fingers while she waited for him to follow. He came to the edge of the bed but stopped before he climbed up next to her. Carol’s eyes flared with worry when he lowered her hand onto the bed before stepping away. She sat up again, ready to reach for him before he could leave, and the pain in her eyes caused his breath to hitch in his throat.

 

“Just gonna take my boots off,” he told her as he leaned over the bed to press a soft kiss onto her lips. When he withdrew to smile down at her, he could see the instant relief in her eyes, and he felt his heart clench in his chest. He had done this to her... _he_ had hurt her enough to cause doubt to linger in her beautiful eyes... _him_ …

 

“Okay…” she nodded, her eyes looking over her own booted feet and instantly reached forward to untie the laces. She could feel her pulse thudding in her ears, but she tried not to allow the nerves to embrace her. She was taking a chance, _another_ chance...she just prayed this time it wouldn’t all go horribly wrong. Slipping her boots from her socked feet, she felt his hands cover hers before she could drop the footwear over the side of the bed. Daryl took them from her hands to place them onto the floor beside his, and for a moment, Carol couldn’t stop thinking of how domestic this all felt.

 

The bed dipped and she shifted backwards to give him more room. He laid down beside her, choosing to lie on his back before lifting his arm to invite her into his personal space. Carol’s lips turned upwards into an almost shy smile as she slowly eased herself down before she settled herself against him, laying her head on his chest. Instantly his arms closed around her, his fingertips tracing slow circles over her back and shoulders. His mouth soon followed, peppering soft kisses into her hair until she slowly tilted her head upwards. His lips trailed a path of kisses over her forehead, her eyes, her nose, until she shifted up onto an elbow to capture his mouth in a searing kiss.

 

It was Daryl’s turn to moan this time when Carol leaned over him, her tongue bumping against his as she deepened the kiss. He followed her, sinking back further into the pillow as he tugged her even closer. After a few moments, they pulled apart, suddenly breathless and gazing at each other in complete awe. Daryl moved first, sliding his hands over her shoulders and tugging her upwards so she was half lying across his chest. Needing to feel her again, he pressed his mouth against her pulse point, suckling at the soft flesh while she gasped with the intensity of it all. The taste of her was intoxicating, and he couldn’t seem to get enough. Moving lower, he kissed and licked a wet path across her throat before travelling back up to kiss the underside of her chin...gasping out her name when her nimble fingers tugged his shirt from his jeans.

 

Carol was lost in him. Their first time hadn’t been like this at all. She thought she’d felt everything with him the first time they’d made love, but this...taking time, exploring and learning each others bodies was...beautiful. Somehow her hands found their way beneath his shirt, and the heat from his skin burned into her palms. Spreading her fingers wide, her hands travelled further upwards, caressing every part of him she could reach. When she grazed one of his flat nipples with her fingers, the soft moan that hissed out from between his lips was enough to bring her mouth back down to his, claiming another deep, drugging kiss.

 

Daryl’s flaccid fingers came alive, tugging at her soft t-shirt until it was half way up her torso. He trailed his palms over her back, spanning wide fingers to smooth over her soft skin, delighting in the way her kiss only intensified when he touched her. He was losing himself in her, her passion-fueled kiss assaulting his senses. Reaching around her front, his hands moved upwards at a desperately slow pace until the tips of his fingers nudged the soft lace covering her breasts.

 

Carol gasped into his mouth when he ventured further upwards. Lifting her body a little higher to give him better access, she trailed her own fingers over his lean stomach. Her lips nipped at his, kissing him with a passion she’d never known she had. She didn’t recognise herself right now...she had never been so wanton before, so... _free_.When his palms covered both of her breasts, her eyes fluttered closed as she lost herself in the sensations he was evoking within her. She was so lost in him, falling into his touch as their bodies responded to one another.

 

Tearing her mouth from his, she slid her fingers over his abdomen. She caught his gaze, delighting in the dark swirling passion she could see emanating from his deep blue orbs. Keeping her gaze focused on his, she reached for his hands on her breasts and slowly lowered them as she twisted her body so she could sit on her knees. Her hands left his stomach, but not before brushing her fingers over the bulge in his pants. She noted how his eyes seemed to grow even darker when she leaned over him to collect another kiss, only to pull away just as quickly before he could pull her in deeper.

 

Crossing her arms across her body, she grasped the bottom of her t shirt and started to pull it up her body, but stopped when she suddenly remembered her scars. For a moment she waited, biting at her lip while she tried to find the courage to keep going.

 

“Hey,” his soft voice broke through her fears, and she loosened her fingers over the soft material covering her torso. “What’s wrong?”

 

Carol swallowed at the lump in her throat, wondering how she had gone from passion to uncertainty within mere seconds. Before, he’d left the moment he’d seen her scars, even though he’d insisted it wasn’t her disfigured body which had caused him to run. Tears filled her eyes when he sat up beside her, watching her worriedly when a single tear rolled over her cheek.

 

“I should leave it on,” she whispered, gesturing to her rumpled t-shirt. “If you don’t want to see...I can leave it on…”

 

“Carol…”

 

“It’s okay…” she nodded, more to convince herself than him. “I’ll leave it on...then you won’t see...it’s…”

 

His mouth covered hers, silencing the words tumbling from her lips. His hands slipped beneath the soft cotton covering her and started to push it upwards. Her fingers covered his as they kissed, preventing him from pushing the fabric higher. Daryl broke the kiss only to trail his lips across her cheek, whispering soft words of love as he eased her hands away before he lifted the t-shirt up her body. He could see the hesitation in her eyes when she reluctantly lifted her arms for him to remove it completely. He scanned her pale skin, seeing instantly the puckered edge of a scar emerging from beneath the cup of her bra. Reaching around behind her, he nudged her closer towards him as he slipped the clasp of her bra open and eased the material away from her breasts. He kept his focus solely on her as he gently pulled the flimsy fabric over her arms, before dropping the garment over the side of the bed.

 

Carol looked above his head, tears brimming in her eyes as she waited for him to take one look at her and run just like he’d done the first time. Why hadn’t she stopped him? At least last time the light had faded a little, obscuring his view...but this time it was still light outside and she couldn’t hide within the shadows. The sunlight only highlighted the scars, and she knew any moment he was going to tell her this was all one big mistake... _but_...he _didn’t_.

 

Daryl leaned forward and pressed his lips over one puckered scar, before continuing a soft trail of kisses over every single one of them. Lifting his hands, he covered her breasts, brushing his thumbs across both nipples while his lips worshipped her scarred body. Carol threw her head back when his mouth replaced his thumb; his tongue swirling around the scarred nipple. He tugged her closer, urging her to straddle his thighs while he continued to stroke and kiss over every single inch of her breasts.

 

Carol shifted across his thighs, only to ease herself up further until she settled over the hard bulge which sent a surge of heat straight to her core. He groaned against her breast and the vibrations caused her to sink lower, pushing herself against him. Carol’s hands began to move as her fingertips danced across the buttons holding his shirt together. She got to work, trying to concentrate between the pulsating heat which burned through her and her fumbling fingers as she fought with the small circular buttons. She groaned out a soft hum and closed her eyes when one of his hands reached around behind her to squeeze her backside, urging her even closer. Her body acted on instinct, grinding down harder as she tried to relieve some of the delicious pressure building up inside her.

 

When he released her nipple with an audible pop, Carol almost whimpered with the loss. Opening her eyes, she caught his gaze and felt the heat instantly flush through her body. He was looking at her as if she were the answer to every question, and for a moment she averted her eyes, overwhelmed by the intensity of his gaze. His hands started to move, one sliding across her breast to travel even lower. He stroked a fingertip over her torso until he reached the button on her pants, before bringing his other hand around to pop the button open and slide the zipper down.

 

Carol’s eyes flared with passion as she met his heated gaze once more, her lips parting slightly when he dipped his fingers inside the open zip. Lifting her body to give him better access, Carol trembled when his fingers found their way inside the soft elastic of her underwear. Their eyes met and held when he brushed against her clit, the heat and moisture there causing her to gasp and shudder above him. When his fingers began to move, so did hers. She grabbed at his shirt, popping the buttons with shaking fingers as she tried to concentrate through his soft strokes. With the last button free, she lowered her hands onto his bare chest, fanning her fingers wide, bracing herself as her body started to thrust against his hand.

 

She could feel her orgasm building and she was suddenly struck with apprehension. She wanted him inside her when she came...she wanted to hold him there, deep inside her body where she could feel him release into her and remain nestled there this time. She’d been robbed of those sensations before, and until she started to feel the white hot coil surging inside her, she hadn’t realised how much she needed to feel him. Lifting herself up higher, she lowered her head and moulded her mouth over his. She increased the pressure, sliding her tongue against his in a frenzied bid to show him just how much she wanted him.

 

His fingers slipped from her molten core and she whimpered into his mouth, but she didn’t break their kiss. Instead she propped herself up with one hand, raising her hips when his inpatient fingers started to push at her pants. She was caught between needing to kiss him and helping him disrobe her. There was some part of her which still worried, still wanted to keep him beneath her and trap him there so he couldn’t run...but when he eased her cargos and underwear over her ass and down her thighs, she had no other choice but to break their kiss.

 

Their lips parted with an audible pop, but before she realised what was happening, Daryl had shifted her onto her side. He was in the process of removing her restricting pants from her ankles, before he tossed them over the side of the bed to join the growing pile of clothes. His eyes held her gaze when he shrugged his shirt from his shoulders, pulling the garment from his body to join hers on the floor. Carol’s hands moved on their own, delving to his belt buckle and easing the metal clasp open. His fingers pushed hers aside so he could push his jeans away from his body.

 

Carol manoeuvred herself onto her back, opening her legs so she could cradle him between her thighs. She tangled her toes in the waistband of his jeans and pushed them down his thighs, helping him rid himself of them. He leaned up on one elbow and pushed the jeans until they fell away from his feet to land with a dull thud onto the floor. With nothing left to keep their bodies apart, he brought one hand back up her body, trailing his fingers over her pale skin. Lowering his mouth down to hers, he kissed her deeply as his thumb delved into her moistened heat, brushing against her hardened nub before lifting himself up a little. Breaking their kiss, Daryl looked down at her when his hardened shaft nudged against her slick opening, seeking permission.

 

“I want you…” she whispered, opening her thighs wider.

 

“The baby…”

 

“You can’t hurt it...” she told him, lifting herself up to kiss his lips reassuringly before reaching down to take the length of him in her hand.

 

Daryl’s eyes slammed shut when she squeezed his cock, only opening them again when he started to ease himself inside her. He held her gaze, both of them gasping when he slowly began to move. Carol closed her eyes first, her mouth falling open when he thrust into her body. Throwing her head back against the pillows, she grasped for him, desperately needing to hold onto something when the first wave of pleasure began to build in her core. Daryl lowered his head, his mouth closing over her breast as he thrust a little faster. He could feel his own orgasm building, as wave after wave of intoxicating love washed over him. He was terrified of the power of it all, but instead of panic, this time he felt the utter completion of existing with her in every possible way.

 

He grunted against her as his thrusts became erratic, speeding up and holding onto her like she was the only thing anchoring him to the bed. Carol too could feel the powerful emotions burning through her, coiling with the burning heat of the release building inside her. She could feel the beginning of her orgasm, the pulsing heat bringing a white hot burst of intense pleasure to course through her. She grasped at his shoulders when he thrust into her, feeling him beginning to shake above her. Her own orgasm hit before she even realised it was happening, coiling through her and taking her breath away right along with it. Her fingers tightened on his shoulders when he hissed out a breath, and buried his face against her breast when he came apart. There was a part of her that couldn’t let him go, clamping him against her so he couldn’t leave her this time.

 

Daryl slid his arms around her as he turned his face to press his lips against the scarred skin on her breast. He was still trembling from the intensity of the most powerful mind blowing orgasm he’d ever experienced. He could feel her nails digging into his skin, and so far she hadn’t moved or uttered a sound since they’d both found their release. Lifting his head, he looked up to find her watching him. Her eyes were wet and he could see uncertainty etched inside them. He cursed himself once more for running from the joy she’d brought him...but this was so much stronger than their very first time.

 

Lifting himself up onto his elbows, he withdrew from her body and kissed his way over her shoulder...her throat...her chin, all the way up until he closed his lips over hers. He kissed her with every ounce of love he felt, needing to show her how much she meant to him. When he finally pulled away, he smiled down into her eyes when she relinquished her hold to smooth her fingers over his shoulders.

 

“Yer beautiful,” he told her in a whisper, punctuating the words with soft kisses over her cheek. “Love ya...so...much…”

 

Carol’s arms closed around him as she tugged him closer. The pooling tears welled over to course wet tracks over her cheeks, but she made no move to brush them away. Instead she tugged Daryl’s mouth to hers and kissed him with a passion which left him in no doubts of her love for him.

 

“I love you,” she whispered when their lips slowly parted, her breath mingling with his. “I don’t want us to be apart again…”

 

“Never,” he told her, kissing her briefly before he rolled onto his side to bring her with him. Tucking her head beneath his chin, he reached behind him to pull the crumpled sheet over their naked bodies before he nestled his lips into her hair. “Never again.”

 

“Me and you,” she nodded slightly as she snuggled into his warmth. “Always…”

 

Daryl closed his eyes and sighed into her hair as he tugged her in closer, whispering the same words back to her before the pull of exhaustion swamped over his body. His last thoughts before sleep claimed him, was for the very first time in his whole damn life...he was happy...really, truly happy...and it was all because of her.

tbc


	14. Chapter 14

Daryl opened his eyes and blinked rapidly as he fought through the fog in his brain. He was incredibly warm, and for a moment, he allowed himself to languish in the soft sensations sweeping through his body. Memories flooded his mind, bringing a burst of love right along with them. Carol was spooned up against him, her back pressed against his chest. He’d never slept so deeply before in his life, nor had he slept with another person so close beside him. Taking a deep breath, he buried his nose into the nape of her neck, breathing in her scent. He felt a contentment wash over him, something he’d never experienced before. His limbs were heavy in the most wonderful way, and he was overcome with a sense of calm for the first time in his life.

 

Carol sighed in her sleep and shuffled herself further backwards, nestling her body closer to his. Spreading her fingers wide, she closed over his hand on her stomach and laced their digits together as she tugged his arm tighter around her. Daryl marvelled at how right this all felt. He’d never willingly been naked with anyone before. When he’d been in Negan’s clutches, his clothes had been taken as a way of control. He’d hated every second of it, feeling more broken than embarrassed. Negan knew by taking his clothes from him, he’d left him weak and vulnerable, but he forced those memories away from his mind. Torment and torture had no place in the here and now. He was entangled with the woman he loved; the mother of his unborn child...Negan was gone...dead and buried. All that mattered now was the love he felt for the woman beside him.

 

A small tap on the door startled him from his musings and he instinctively tugged Carol a little tighter against his chest. His whole body stilled, willing whoever was outside in the hall to leave them alone...but the knock sounded again a few seconds later, a little harder this time. The noise was loud enough to break Carol from her sleep. She breathed in deeply and sighed out a slow breath before she tugged their joined hands to her lips to press a kiss against his knuckles.

 

“Hmmm...morning…”

 

“Hey,” he whispered into her hair, pressing nuzzling kisses into the space between her neck and shoulder. He hoped the unwelcome intruder had taken the hint and gone away, but when another soft tap sounded against the wooden door, Daryl groaned against her shoulder. Pushing himself reluctantly away from her, he leaned up on one elbow and lifted himself upright. Untangling their fingers, Daryl pressed a soft kiss onto her bare shoulder before he started to pull himself from her warmth. Carol hummed as she curled herself up into the fetal position, hugging the pillow against her chest while he clambered over the side of the bed and pulled his jeans up his legs.

 

“What time is it?” she asked on a yawn, not really caring whether she had slept through breakfast this time.

 

“Don’t know...but whoever can’t take the hint can fuck off,” he groused as he pulled the zipper up, and popped the button closed.

 

Moving towards the door, he turned the key in the lock before he looked towards the bed to make sure Carol was decently covered, and then yanked the door open.

 

_“What?”_

 

“Oh…” Samantha’s mouth dropped open when she took in Daryl’s bare chest. Her gaze drank him in, following the line of hairs that travelled from his chest and all the way down to his navel, then lower still until they disappeared beneath the waistband of his jeans.

 

Daryl was suddenly uncomfortable when the woman before him seemed to be rooted to the spot. She was practically salivating, and he was overcome by the growing urge to slam the door in her face and put his shirt on. Behind him he could hear the rustle of sheets moving, and he knew the morning he’d hoped to spend in bed with the woman he loved, was slowly slipping away.

 

“I was looking for Carol…”

 

“She’s sleepin’,” he practically growled, even when the woman in question ambled up to his side, wrapped in nothing but the sheet which had covered them moments earlier.

 

Carol offered him a radiant smile and came to stand by his side. Sliding one hand across his back, she leant against him as she turned to look at the woman who seemed to grow a little more flustered with every passing second.

 

“Was there something you needed?” Carol asked, stifling a yawn behind her hand.

 

“Oh...it’s…” Samantha stammered, her eyes flitting between the two of them. “Morning classes...you weren’t there, and…”

 

“ _Shit_ …” shaking her head, Carol’s mouth dropped open as she looked behind her at the pile of crumpled clothes on the floor. “...I’m _so_ sorry...I didn’t realise it was so late...I…”

 

“Carol...” Daryl stopped her from moving, securing his arm around her shoulders before she could begin her frantic search for clothing.

 

“It’s the children’s class today, and I’ve made a big thing about them all being on time, ” Carol told him as she pulled the sheet more tightly around herself before she addressed the other woman. “Am I very late?”

 

“Not long...ten minutes maybe...if you want I can tell them today’s lessons are cancelled,” Samantha told her nonchalantly, trying to hide her obvious embarrassment. “They’ll be disappointed, but I’m sure they’ll get over it.”

 

Daryl felt Carol bristle beside him and he was overcome with a need to protect her. Sliding an arm further around her shoulders, he shot Samantha an irritated glare before he leaned over to press his lips against Carol’s temple.

 

“Ya need yer rest,” he told her, his voice muffled against her soft skin. “Go back to bed and I’ll take the class this mornin’.”

 

“Daryl…”

 

“I need to check the traps anyway,” he reassured her when she pulled back to look up at him dubiously. “Just need a rundown on what ya been teachin’ the kids and I’ll take ‘em for today.”

 

“Are you sure?” Carol asked, her eyes flaring with love as she leaned into his side. “I can come and join you a little later when I’ve showered.”

 

Daryl lowered his gaze to hers, nodding slightly before he looked back towards the woman at the door.

 

“I’ll be out in a few minutes,” he told her gruffly, slipping his hand down to Carol’s waist as he focused on the other woman. “Tell the kids they’re gonna have me instead of Carol today.”

 

“Okay,” Samantha grinned, blushing a little as she averted her eyes. Even though she could clearly see how much the couple before her were obviously very much together, she still held out a tiny vestige of hope he’d smile at her in that way one day. It was a fantasy, she knew that, but a woman had to take any kind of escape she could get these days. “I’ll meet you outside.”

 

“Nah,” Daryl’s voice tore those fantasies apart when he spoke, whether he knew it or not. His gaze drifted down to the woman nestled beside him, his eyes flashing with desire. “Might take a while…”

 

Carol stifled a giggle and tore herself from his side. Shaking her head, she caught Samantha’s wide-eyed stare and smiled brightly. “Go on ahead. He’ll be a few minutes.”

 

Samantha nodded numbly, rooted to the floor even as she saw the door closing, placing a barrier between her and the couple. She could hear the muffled noises coming from inside the room and she hurriedly stepped backwards. The unmistakable sound of a body pressing against the door, followed by soft groans caused her cheeks to flush. She didn’t have to be a mind reader to know what was going on inside that room, and even as she turned to hurry away, she couldn’t stop the twinge of jealousy, fleeting, but unmistakable nonetheless.

 

000

 

Daryl emerged into the warm sunshine a little later than he’d planned. His whole body hummed with happiness; something he wasn’t accustomed to feeling. Every single fibre of him seemed to be alive, and he couldn’t stop smiling. There was something about waking in the arms of the one person you loved most in this world...and if he could start every single morning in the very same way, he knew he would die a very happy man.

 

“Where’s Carol?” a child’s voice asked, breaking through Daryl’s thoughts.

 

Looking down at the young boy, Daryl eyed him dubiously before his gaze lifted to the other children who were gathered in a small group behind this kid. Carol had warned him, before he’d come out here, there were a couple of the young boys who were a little on the challenging side. Regarding the youngster once more, Daryl’s eyes flitted over his innocent features before he folded his arms across his chest, hoping his firm stance would quieten the kids who thought he was going to let them run riot.

 

“She’s sleepin’, so I’m gonna be teachin’ ya for today.”

 

“Is she sick?”

 

“No,” Daryl shook his head, regarding the young boy with a stern expression. “She’s just takin’ a break…”

 

“I think she’s sick,” the boy told him, looking around him for support from his fellow students. “When my momma showed her the fish she’d gutted for dinner, she threw up…”

 

“ _Enough!_ ” Daryl snapped, unfolding his arms as his eyes skimmed over each of the children in turn. “I’m here to teach ya, not stand here gossipin’.”

 

“But if Carol’s sick…”

 

“What’d I just say, _boy?_ ” Daryl growled, his gruff voice sounding harder than he’d meant it to.

 

Paling, the boy dropped his arms down to his side and stood up a little straighter. With wide eyes, he sucked in his chest and shook his head at his gruff teacher. “Sorry...I…”

 

“What’s yer name?” Daryl asked, softening his voice a little when the youngster shrank away from him. “Didn’t mean to shout at ya.”

 

“I’m Geoffrey...and that’s my sister, Lisa,” pointing towards a young girl who stood off to Daryl’s side. “She’s eight.”

 

Daryl took a sideways glance and caught the eyes of a little blonde girl, with bright brown eyes. She was watching him with so much apprehension, and he cursed himself for not knowing how to handle these kids. Nodding towards the young girl, he indicated for her to come and stand beside her brother while he looked around the small group of children who had left the once cocky boy before him, and started to gather near the segregated target area.

 

“Carol’s gonna come by later,” he told them, regarding each of the children in turn as he spoke. “So, until she gets here we’re gonna learn a few ways to keep yerself protected from walkers, and...other things.”

 

“Like bad people?” one of the children asked.

 

“Exactly,” Daryl nodded as he started to move towards the target range.

 

“Men like Negan?”

 

Daryl stopped in his tracks when he heard the small voice, and he turned to address a little girl who was looking up at him with wide, sorrowful eyes.

 

“Yeah, kid, men like him…” he told her as he turned away from her again to lead the other children towards the closed gate. He pushed it open and pegged it back, waiting for the youngsters to follow him inside. When all of them were inside the gate, he moved forward, coming to stop in front of them.

 

“Negan’s men killed my daddy,” another little girl told him, her voice catching as she looked up at him. “I don’t want any of those bad men to kill my mommy...so I want to learn how to fight.”

 

“Hmm,” Daryl looked down at her and inclined his head a little as he spoke. “Negan’s gone now, and so are his men. Don’t want any of ya to worry about anyone like him comin’ here to hurt ya. Between me and Carol, we’re gonna teach ya how to defend yerself and everyone here too.”

 

“He’s exactly right,” Carol’s voice sounded from somewhere behind them, and he turned to see the woman he loved looking far too serene and beautiful for him to keep his mind on teaching these kids.

 

“Carol,” he grinned, holding out an instinctive hand for her to take. “Yer supposed to be restin’.”

 

“What and miss all of this?” she asked with a soft chuckle as she squeezed his fingers before releasing him just as quickly.

 

“Is he your _boyfriend?_ ” Henry, one of the older children asked, the question causing a rapture of giggles to erupt around them when he started making kissing noises. He was delighted with the response from the other children, so much so that he didn’t see the two adults focusing on him, unamused by his antics.

 

“Henry,” Carol scolded, pointing her finger at him and the giggles suddenly quietened. “You know better than to ask unimportant questions when there’s work to be done.”

 

“Sorry, Carol,” Henry’s downtrodden voice fell away when he looked down at his feet. “I was only playing.”

 

“We’re not here to play,” Carol told him, folding her arms across her chest as she spoke. “If you want to waste mine and Daryl’s time by not taking these lessons seriously, then that’s fine. Someone else can teach you…”

 

_“No!”_ Geoffrey gasped, clutching hold of his sisters hand as he barged Henry out of the way. “I want to learn, and so does Lisa.”

 

“Will you still teach us?” Another of the children asked, wide-eyed and pleading. “Please?”

 

A second chorus of pleas rang around them when each child looked upon Carol and Daryl with hopeful, expectant eyes. Carol caught Daryl’s glance when he looked towards her in disbelief. Her reassuring smile was all it took for him to stand back and watch her. She was a master in her field; a natural maternal figure. He watched in complete awe of her, when every single child around them seemed to hang on her every word.

 

“As long as we don’t have any more of this, then Daryl and I will teach you,” she told him before she regarded the rest of the children who were watching the two adults intently. “That goes for every single one of you. We’re here to teach you how to fight and defend yourselves. Is that clear?”

 

“Yes, ma’am…” Henry nodded eagerly, his lips lifting into a bright smile. At Carol’s nod, he turned and ran further into the field where the large targets were, taking the rest of the children with him.

 

“How the hell did ya do that?” Daryl asked, amusement and pride lighting his eyes. “Thought the little fuc... _kids_...were gonna eat me alive!”

 

“They’re just children, Daryl,” she smiled incredulously. “You just have to know how to handle them.”

 

“Yeah,” he mused, his eyes following her retreating form as she walked towards the children who were waiting to start their lesson. He had no clue how he was going to handle any of this fatherhood stuff. He never thought he’d have a kid of his own, but he was determined theirs was going to learn how to fight and defend itself the second it was old enough. Taking a deep breath, Daryl made his way towards them, hoping this little training exercise would be easier than it sounded.

 

000

 

Later that afternoon when lessons with the youngsters were over, Daryl walked beside Carol, glancing at her while they made their way towards the food court.

 

“You’re staring,” she told him as she turned her head to offer him a bashful smile before averting her eyes again.

 

Daryl’s face flushed a little when he realised he couldn’t seem to stop looking at her. It was as if he couldn’t keep away from her, like they were tethered together in so many different ways. He never knew loving someone could feel so...intoxicating...or so completely overwhelming. He couldn’t keep away from her for even a moment, and he was sure if they were still living in the old world, he would be texting her every single second they were apart.

 

“Hey,” he tapped her arm with his fingers as they walked, needing their connection even though she was there beside him. “Y’okay?”

 

Looking up at him, she nodded, her lips lifting into a smile. Carol felt it too. She hadn’t ever needed to be close to Ed, not even in their very early days of courtship. She knew Daryl wasn’t one of those men who wanted to be seen in public holding hands or kissing, and in other circumstances, neither was she...but she felt so deeply attached to this man. Her fingers brushed against his, tangling for a few brief seconds before falling away again when they saw a few of the Kingdom residents working up ahead.

 

“I just realised I didn’t feel so sick this morning,” she told him in a rush, trying to keep herself from touching him. “The pretzels you found have really helped.”

 

“Yeah?” he asked, his obvious elation reaching his eyes. “That’s real good.”

 

“Maybe the sickness is passing,” she told him hopefully, even though she was afraid to become overconfident. “Or maybe it’s because we’re…”

 

“Maybe,” he grinned, slipping his arm across her shoulders before he could stop himself. He caught her warm smile and the rosy tint growing over her cheeks, and worried she wasn’t ready for this kind of display yet. “This okay?”

 

Carol moved closer against his side as they walked, sliding her arm around his back to dip her thumb into the waistband of his jeans. Their hips bumped together as they walked, and her eyes shone with so much affection. Tilting her head, she rested her cheek against the curve of his shoulder briefly before offering him a bright smile.

 

“Oh yeah,” she beamed, squeezing him a little tighter as they walked. “This is definitely okay.”

 

Daryl was enraptured by her. Every little thing she did seemed to capture his full attention. Since their very first meeting she had captured his heart, even though he hadn’t known it at the time. He’d found himself watching her when he hadn’t even realised he’d been doing it. He’d noticed every time she would emerge from her tent with a fresh bruise peeking out from beneath her shirt, and he remembered how he’d wanted to tear Ed’s limbs from his body one by one. He hadn’t been used to feeling that way, and it had been as foreign to him all those years ago, as it was now. Only this time, as the years wore on and he fell more in tune with her, he knew what he’d been feeling for such a long time, went far deeper than just love.

 

Love was all about feelings and wanting someone else’s happiness before your own. What he was feeling for this woman beside him, it was a thousand times stronger. He felt things for her he’d never felt before in his life, and those feelings were more powerful now they were finally, truly together. He wanted to protect her...to keep her safe from anything and anyone who could possibly hurt her. This woman was the most beautiful person he’d ever met, before and after the turn. He loved, adored, cherished...every single one of those emotions and so much more...and she was carrying a child which had been created by nothing but love...even though it had taken him a little while longer to catch up with his feelings.

 

“Gonna find ya some more pretzels and crackers as soon as I go out again…” he grinned proudly, feeling elated that he’d managed in some small way to help ease some of her discomfort. “And I’ve told everyone to look out for some of those pickles ya seem to like so much.”

 

“Mmm…” she hummed, practically tasting the sweet vinegar in her mouth. “When I was pregnant with Sophia, all I wanted to eat was eggs.”

 

“Eggs?” he chuckled. “Kingdom’s got a shit load of chickens...eggs ain’t a problem!”

 

“Hmm...the thought of an egg isn’t appealing this time,” she chuckled. “Sorry, Pookie!”

 

“Phffft,” he chortled, tugging her a little tighter against him as they approached the food court. “Whatever ya want, I’ll get it for ya.”

 

“Chocolate chip ice-cream...mmm...Oh...and a big mac...I really would kill for one of those…” Carol’s eyes closed with the thought of all the foods everyone had used to take for granted, and wondered how they had survived for so long without those convenience foods.

 

“Hell, find me a cow and I’ll make ya a burger,” he grinned, laughing right along with her when she opened her eyes and smiled. “At least we’d find a use for those pickles!”

 

“Hey...those pickles are mine,” she warned, her eyes sparkling with mirth as she lifted her head from his shoulder and loosened her arm from around his waist before she stepped away from him.

 

Daryl missed her warmth against him and he fought with every ounce of control he had, not to reel her right back in again. He watched as she held out her hand to him. Wiggling her fingers, she waited for him to take hers, much like she had so long ago when they’d lived in the prison. If only he’d kept hold of her hand back then...if only he hadn’t let go and clung onto her for dear life, maybe they could have been living their lives together before all of this...loved and safe in the knowledge that no matter how shit this life was, they’d found their own piece of bliss...He may have been slow on the uptake back then, but not anymore. Now, he welcomed whatever challenges came their way, because they would face them together, just like always.

 

Reaching out, he curled his fingers around hers and willingly followed wherever she was leading him. For the first time in his whole life, he was happy...truly happy...and nothing or no one would ever be able to change that.

 

“Maybe when I’m in the second trimester,” she started, squeezing his hand and bringing him to a stop before they walked into the mess hall. Her free hand dropped down to her stomach, and the gentle movement made his eyes follow. “When we know everything’s okay...maybe, we could start telling people about this?”

 

“Yeah,” he nodded, his lips tilting upwards proudly. “Should tell our family first...Rick, Michonne…”

 

Carol nodded, smiling despite the twinge of guilt settling deeply in her gut when he spoke. She had already told Rick to keep it to himself, and she hoped he’d honoured his promise not to tell anyone else about the baby. Daryl deserved to experience the pride which came with announcing to their loved ones that a new family member was on the way. She wanted him to have that experience more than anything.

 

“Yes,” she told him with a smile before they started moving again. “We should...and, we will. As soon as the time is right, we will.”

 

Nodding in agreement, Daryl squeezed her fingers and followed her towards the open food hall door. They were going to be okay now, all three of them.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks as always to the incredible CharlotteAshmore for her amazing patience and beta work on this. Also big thank you's to Coreenfw and BettyBubble for their read throughs. Also to Geektaire for answeing ultrasound questions. It's a very long time since I was pregnant with my 3!
> 
> Big thanks to everyone who is still reading. I appreciate everyone's reviews, your kind words are very humbling. I'm sorry I haven't been around to keep posting regularly, or to answer reviews, but RL is absolutely chaotic right now

The days turned to weeks, and the weeks to months...and Carol continued to grow more confident as the time wore on. At twenty weeks pregnant, her body had finally stopped rebelling against her, and she welcomed the end of the sickness which had plagued her for so many endless weeks. Her abdomen was starting to become rounder, but so far no one outside of their own select few knew about the pregnancy. She hid her fuller figure beneath loose fitting tunics, and up until now, no one seemed to suspect.

 

Today, she and Daryl were heading to Hilltop to see Maggie. The ultrasound machine had finally been returned to the doctor there, and Carol’s own doctor had insisted she have the relevant checks performed on her unborn child. Part of her was a little apprehensive. She knew there were so many problems which came with pregnancy for a woman of her age. She’d heard so many horror stories from tattling women in the old world. She’d heard about babies being born with problems, and maybe with doctors and modern medicine pre-apocalypse, there were so many other choices. Now though, this little one she carried inside her was both loved and cherished despite the possibility of the unknowns. This baby would be cared for despite any problems it may face. Hers and Daryl’s own little miracle.

 

Standing before the mirror, Carol looked over her features with a soft sigh. She had dark circles beneath her eyes; something everyone seemed to wear these days. Sleep didn’t come easily for anyone now, even with the security of the fences around them...and with her expanding stomach, the small bed she shared with Daryl was becoming increasingly less comfortable. Reaching down to the button on her pants, she pulled the material close together and tried in vain to make the two edges meet. Sucking in a breath, she tried again but to her horror, all she managed to accomplish was the button making a popping sound before it pinged from its stitching and shot across the room.

 

Carol’s eyes flared with surprise, but quickly turned to dismay...She only had two decent pairs of pants, and the combats she was wearing were her favourite pair. The knowledge which came with the sudden realisation caused her eyes to well with tears, but she batted them away before they could take hold. It was a pair of pants for goodness sake...and she admonished herself for being so foolish...but when the door opened and Daryl stepped into the room, his sudden concern dissolved her into tears.

 

Daryl didn’t move for a few moments, unsure of what he was supposed to do. He’d read _The Expectant Dad’s Survival Guide_ from cover to cover, so he knew a little of what he was supposed to expect. The author of the book had warned him of the sudden tearful outbursts and how to approach the expectant mother, but this was all so new. Closing the door behind him, he took a few tentative steps towards her, mentally checking to see if she still had her knife secured to her hip...just in case she decided to cut his balls off.

 

“Hey,” he soothed as he reached out to touch her shoulder, spreading his fingers wide. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Look…” she wailed, gesturing towards her open pants, as if he would know right away what the problem was.

 

When he looked confused, her tears only increased and he pulled her against his chest in an attempt to comfort her. He still had no clue why she was so upset but when his eyes caught sight of the crumpled pair of pants she’d complained were becoming too tight yesterday, he finally understood.

 

“S’okay,” he soothed, rubbing his thumbs across her back as he spoke. “Gonna find ya some new ones…”

 

“But they’re my only ones…” she sniffed, her voice muffled against his chest. “I can’t do them up...I’m... _huge_ …”

 

She was crying again, clinging onto him as she wept into his shirt. He loved her, and this was supposed to be the easy part, but he’d never seen her like this before. What was he supposed to say? _You’re pregnant of course you’re getting bigger?_ He didn’t have much experience with this kind of thing, but even he knew he’d be sleeping on the floor for months if he said something like that.

 

“No, ya ain’t,” he soothed, squeezing her a little tighter. “Yer beautiful…”

 

“I’m fat…” she sniffed.

 

“Yer pregnant,” he chuckled, kissing her hair while his fingers ran across her shoulder blade. “Ain’t no one can compare to ya, not to me...yer damn near perfect…”

 

Carol squeezed him tighter, pulling him against her as she rubbed her cheek against his shirt. No one had ever said that to her before, and despite the hopelessness of her failed wardrobe, all she wanted to do right now was drag him to bed and stay there for the rest of the day...but they couldn’t do that, not today.

 

“What am I supposed to do about this?” she sniffed, gesturing down towards her unbuttoned pants. “I can’t even pull both sides together even if I _could_ fasten them.”

 

“Ya know, with that shirt over the top, no one’s gonna see ya pants ain’t done up.”

 

“For now,” she sighed as she pulled out of his embrace to reach for the burgundy shirt which was draped across their bed. Pulling it over her head, she slipped her arms through the sleeves before she tugged the material over her swelling stomach.

 

“See,” he told her with a reassuring smile. “No one can see nothin’.”

 

The words were meant to be encouraging, but to Daryl’s confusion he watched as her face crumbled once more. Stepping forward, he smoothed his hands over her arms and tugged her back against his chest. He knew better than to ask what was wrong this time. From past experience, those types of questions had only tended to get him into more trouble. So, he held onto her, offering her love instead of questions while he waited for her tears to subside.

 

“I’m sorry,” she sniffed, wiping at her eyes when she pushed herself away from him. “Stupid hormones.”

 

“Ain’t stupid,” he told her, keeping his voice as soft as he could. “And ya ain’t got nothin’ to be apologisin’ for...especially not to me.”

 

Carol breathed out a low breath and pressed the palms of her hands against her eyes. She couldn’t remember being this emotional with Sophia, but in the back of her mind she’d known what would have happened if she had. Ed’s tolerance for tears had been just as short as his anger fuse. Any tears would have been met with a sharp slap across her face and an order to stop embarrassing him. Even during childbirth she hadn’t been allowed to make a scene...and while the doctors and midwives had hovered around her in the room, Ed had portrayed the perfect husband, but the second they had left…

 

“When the time comes,” she spoke suddenly, her worried voice breaking through the silence surrounding them. “If you don’t want to be there...if you think it’ll be too much…”

 

“What?” Daryl shook his head in confusion while he waited for her to continue.

 

“When the baby comes,” she clarified. “I know a lot of men don’t want to be there for…”

 

“‘M gonna be there,” he told her, his words cutting through hers. “Ain’t gonna let ya go through any of this alone...thought ya knew that.”

 

“I do,” she sighed, “But, Ed never wanted to be there for any of it, and I…”

 

“I _ain’t_ Ed,” he snapped, his voice coming out a lot harsher than he’d intended. Frustration flared through him, annoyed the man who had hurt her so badly was still making his presence known. Shaking his head, he grasped her hand, squeezing her fingers reassuringly. “That asshole ain’t got no place here with us...He was a useless son of a bitch who didn’t deserve ya.”

 

“I know,” she nodded, swallowing hard at the lump in her throat. “I do...but sometimes, the memories…”

 

“I know,” he smiled as he brought their joined hands to his lips. “They can’t hurt us anymore...my old man or that bastard who called himself ya husband. We’re stronger than all the shit they put us through…”

 

“We are,” she agreed, offering him a watery smile. “You and me...we’re going to be okay.”

 

“Yep…”

 

“Okay,” she breathed, dropping his hand to step away from him to gesture towards her attire. “How do I look?”

 

“Perfect,” he grinned, nodding in appreciation. “Now, are ya ready to get this show on the road?”

 

000

 

When they finally arrived at the Hilltop a few hours later, Carol breathed a sigh of relief. The gates opened to allow them access, and she couldn’t help but look across the seat towards the man she loved. He had been so patient, even though she could see his nerves were in tatters. He hadn’t expressed his worries to her in so many words, but she could see it in his eyes. He loved her, and she knew he’d read the baby books he’d found from cover to cover. He was terrified of all of the things which could possibly go wrong, especially with the lack of modern medicine and equipment.

 

“Ya doin’ okay?” he asked her when he stopped the car inside the compound and looked towards her.

 

“I’m good,” she grinned as she leaned over to lay her hand over his thigh. “How about you?”

 

_“Me?”_ he asked, his voice squeaking a little as he spoke. “I ain’t the one who’s pregnant.”

 

“Well, no, but you’re going through this with me, so that kind of makes you pregnant too.”

 

Daryl’s eyes widened with her words, and for a moment he was struck by how much he loved her. He couldn’t tell her he was anxious as hell with every little moment of this pregnancy. Every time she gasped, he felt his blood pressure rise a notch higher. When she grimaced, or laid her hand over her swelling stomach, he’d felt the worry increase. So many times he’d found himself watching her every movement, cataloguing the different signs so he knew what every one of them meant.

 

“I’m okay,” he answered finally, returning her smile with one of his own. “Ya ready to do this thing?”

 

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” she told him beautifully as she squeezed his thigh one more time, before she withdrew her hand and opened the car door.

 

When she climbed out of the car, she stretched her back out before waving to the approaching woman. Maggie was smiling excitedly, holding her hand up in greeting to her returning family members. Daryl came around the vehicle to stand by Carol’s side and slipped an arm around her waist.

 

“It’s so good to see you,” Maggie beamed as she threw her arms around both of them, gathering them into a group hug. When she stepped back, she lowered her arms to watch the two of them with teary eyes.

 

“It’s good to see you too,” Carol laughed, unprepared for how this all felt. Daryl was solid by her side, his presence filling her with an enormous sense of pride and peace. Looking towards the younger woman, Carol couldn’t help but lean into Daryl’s side as she smiled. “How are you, Maggie?”

 

_“Fat!”_ Maggie chuckled, turning to the side and pulling her shirt taught over her swollen stomach.

 

“Wow, you’ve gotten big since the last time I was here,” Carol beamed as her hand unconsciously came to rest over her own swelling abdomen.

 

“And you?” Maggie asked, her eyes darting between the two of them before coming to settle on Carol’s again. “Are you…”

 

“Still pregnant,” Carol chuckled, nodding her head while she wrapped her free arm around Daryl’s back. She could feel him lean into her, but he still found public displays a little uncomfortable, even around their family.

 

“No, I _know_ that,” Maggie scoffed, waving a hand between them as she gestured towards Carol’s belly. “I meant, are you two...finally...you know, together?”

 

“Pfft,” Daryl guffawed, lowering his eyes slightly before tugging Carol a little tighter against him. “She’s havin’ my kid, guess that answers yer question don’t it?”

 

Maggie looked at him for a few moments, her smile growing wider when she saw Carol turn her head to gaze at the man beside her. Smoothing her hand over her own baby bump, Maggie took a step back and gestured for them to follow.

 

“You know, I wish Glenn could have been here to see you two like this,” she smiled, even though her words were tinged with a little sadness. “He had high hopes for you two, you know.”

 

Her words caused Carol to unwind her arm from around Daryl’s waist. She offered him a reassuring smile as she reached down to squeeze his fingers before she moved towards Maggie.

 

“I’m so sorry, Maggie,” Carol started, unsure of what she could say to take some of the pain away. “But I know he’ll always be with you. Don’t ever doubt that, honey.”

 

“I know,” Maggie nodded, blinking at the moisture in her eyes. “Sometimes, I feel so cheated, but then others times I feel blessed.”

 

Carol slipped her arm over Maggie’s shoulders and glanced across to Daryl who had moved to her other side. Nodding her head, she held out her hand to him, needing his touch to calm her senses and ease her sudden nerves. When he took her hand without question, Carol knew she was more than lucky to have found this wonderful man to share this apocalyptic world with.

 

“I know what you mean,” she smiled, tugging Daryl a little closer when all three of them began to move.

 

“Are you staying tonight?” Maggie asked hopefully. “I could sure use some familiar faces around here.”

 

Carol looked towards Daryl who just shrugged his shoulders, indicating he didn’t have any objections to spending the night here.

 

“I guess we could stay for the night,” Carol told her when she tore her gaze from the man she loved. “We don’t have any lessons scheduled for another two days.”

 

“Lessons?” Maggie asked incredulously when Carol allowed her arm to slip from Maggie’s shoulder as she gravitated more towards the man by her side.

 

“Yeah, was Carol’s idea first,” Daryl told her, unable to hide the pride in his voice.

 

“I needed a distraction when he arrived at the Kingdom,” Carol shrugged, as if her efforts weren’t all that important. “So I taught a few of the adults how to use the knives and guns to their full advantage.”

 

“Yeah, and then the kids wanted to learn,” Daryl chimed in. “So we’re teachin’ ‘em how to defend ‘emselves.”

 

“That’s great,” Maggie beamed, obviously impressed with the couple’s new united relationship. She gestured to the two of them as they approached the main house “It’s good to see you two doing what you’ve always done best...besides this…”

 

“This?” Carol asked in confusion when Maggie opened the door to usher them both inside.

 

“Yeah, this,” Maggie grinned. “The two of you so close, just like you always used to be back at the farm.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“You know, daddy would have been rooting for you two,” the younger woman told them when they were all inside the house. Without waiting for an answer, she walked with them towards the room they used for their infirmary and knocked on the doorframe before pushing the door open a little wider.

 

Doctor Carson looked up from his desk and placed the journal he was reading onto the wooden surface. Getting to his feet, he moved forward and nodded in greeting to the three people who had entered the room.

 

“Maggie?” he asked softly, his eyes lowering to her stomach in concern. “Is everything okay?”

 

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. Much better thank you,” she nodded before she stepped aside to usher her two friends further into the room.

 

“Ah...yes, Carol isn’t it?”

 

“Yes,” Carol nodded as she tugged Daryl with her. “The message just said to come for a sonogram, so…”

 

“Of course, come on in,” he nodded, standing aside as he gestured towards the bed Carol had occupied the last time she was here. “The good news is we managed to salvage a printer from the sanctuary, so I can print you some copies of your baby if you’d like some.”

 

Daryl looked at Carol, his eyes growing wide before he turned back towards the doctor, nodding his head numbly before he helped Carol onto the bed.”

 

“I’ll be outside,” Maggie told them as she took a step backwards towards the door. “I want to see the pictures as soon as you have them.”

 

“Believe me, you’ll be the first to see them,” Carol laughed, even though she was a little nervous how Daryl was going to react when seeing their child would make this whole situation very real.

 

Maggie grinned as she pulled the door closed behind her when she stepped out of the room. Daryl came to sit on the chair beside Carol’s bed and gripped onto her hand while they waited for the doctor to wheel the sonogram machine towards the bed. Lifting herself up a little, Carol used her free hand to push the waistband of her pants down to hang loosely over her hips, before she pushed her shirt up towards her breasts.

 

Doctor carson powered up the machine and reached for a bottle of gel before squirting the lubricant over Carol’s rounded stomach. Both of them watched his every move, eyes glued to the dark screen as if they could make their baby appear just by will alone.

 

“Okay, are we ready to see your baby?”

 

“Yes,” Carol told him, smiling as she felt Daryl’s hand tighten around hers.

 

Lowering the wand onto Carol’s stomach, the doctor pushed the instrument over the gel and turned the screen a little for both of them to see. Turning some of the dials, he looked intently at the screen, pressing the wand into Carol’s rounded abdomen while he checked for any signs of abnormalities.

 

Swishing noises filled the room, sounding a lot like static until another sound took its place. A steady, fast heartbeat thrummed around the room, the sound stirring something deep within Daryl’s heart. That sound was his baby...their baby...real and...perfect...Lifting himself a little higher in his chair, he moved his free hand to Carol’s hair, needing to touch her when he listened to the noises around them

 

“That’s our baby,” Carol’s voice came out in a whisper, unable to take her eyes from the screen.

 

“Yeah,” Daryl nodded, equally enthralled by the image, even though he couldn’t make out what some of them were.

 

“Okay,” Doctor Carson smiled as he moved the wand again, taking it over Carol’s naval before he pointed to the screen. The beautiful thrumming sounds disappeared when he switched the sound off, not noticing the disappointment in Daryl’s eyes. “See, there are the arms, and baby’s hands and fingers...two legs...the feet...the spine...and there’s your baby’s heart beating right there...By these measurements, you’re twenty weeks and three days.”

 

“Is it okay?” Daryl asked, tearing his eyes away from the screen for a few seconds before they drifted straight back.

 

“Yes, you have a healthy baby. Everything is as it should be at this stage in the pregnancy. Baby is moving around a bit, but if you...would you like to know the sex?”

 

For the first time since she’d seen the black and white image of their child, Carol looked away from the screen and turned her head towards the man beside her. What she saw caused her heart to melt, and she didn’t think she could possibly love him any more than she did right now. Daryl’s gaze was transfixed on their child, as if he was terrified to look away in case he missed anything.

 

“Daryl,” she asked, her wet eyes watching the wonder on his face. “Do we want to know?”

 

Daryl swallowed hard when his eyes dropped down to hers once more, unable to hide the swell of tears that threatened to fall. Squeezing her fingers, he lifted their joined hands up to his lips and pressed a soft kiss over her knuckles before he shook his head.

 

“Don’t wanna spoil it,” he grinned before his eyes slipped back to their child which seemed to be bouncing around inside Carol’s stomach. “We ain’t got long to wait...unless...ya wanna…”

 

“No,” Carol smiled, her eyes scanning his face before she turned to follow his gaze. Their child had turned and she could clearly see the outline of his or her face. Gasping in a breath, she didn’t even attempt to stop the tears from escaping to slip over her cheeks.

 

“What?” Daryl asked, suddenly panicked as he looked from her to the doctor. “What’s wrong?”

 

“It looks like Sophia…”

 

“I...”

 

“The baby,” she told him, her voice caught between a gasp and a sob. “The baby looks like Sophia.”

 

“Ya can tell that from here?” Daryl asked softly, suddenly relieved she wasn’t in any kind of physical pain. Searching the grainy image, he struggled to see the same thing as her, but when the doctor pushed his chair back to stand, Daryl looked to him for an explanation.

 

“Everything looks absolutely normal,” Doctor Carson told him with a reassuring smile. “I’ll print you a picture to take back with you.”

 

“But everything’s okay?” Daryl asked. “Carol and the baby are…”

 

“I assure you, Mr. Dixon, they are both perfectly healthy.”

 

Daryl nodded mutely but opened his mouth to ask another question then decided against it. Squeezing Carol’s hand, he joined her to watch their child once more before the doctor turned off the machine and they lost the moment forever.

tbc


	16. Chapter 16

Daryl held onto the precious picture in his hand, unable to tear his eyes from the image of his child. He didn’t understand all of these feelings which were swirling around inside his head. Up until today, the thoughts of becoming a father had filled him with a sense of trepidation and excitement. He still had both of those feelings, but now, seeing the photographic proof of the life he and Carol had created...every single fear he’d ever felt before this day seemed to be magnified. It was real now. It wasn’t just an image he’d had inside his head...this baby would be relying on him to keep it safe...it would need him to teach it all of the things he’d learned, and he was going to start by doing everything opposite of his own upbringing. His child would know it was loved...

 

“Hey…”

 

Tearing his eyes away from the photograph, Daryl met Carol’s watery gaze and felt his fears suddenly melt away. He was overcome with a surge of love which seemed to swell even more with every passing second.

 

“We’re gonna have a baby,” he told her, his voice softening in wonder as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

 

“We are,” she beamed, chuckling softly when his eyes drifted back towards the sonogram picture. “In a few months, we’ll meet him or her.”

 

“Don’t seem real…”

 

“I know,” she told him softly as she leaned further into his side. “I didn’t think I’d ever feel this again...especially after…”

 

When her voice drifted away, Daryl knew she was thinking of Sophia and how she’s tried to hold on to her. He knew the bastard she’d been married to would have made her life a living hell, regardless whether she was pregnant or not. She wouldn’t feel that way this time; she never had to feel that way ever again.

 

“This baby ain’t gonna have anythin’ to fear,” Daryl’s voice brought her away from the memories which threatened to smother this moment. “We’re both gonna give him everythin’ we never had...he ain’t gonna be scared of anythin’ cuz we won’t let him.”

 

“Him?” she asked, swiping at her eyes before any tears could fall. “Do you secretly want a boy?”

 

“I want a healthy baby,” he squeezed her shoulder as he handed the photo to her. “C’mon, I promised Maggie she’d be first to see it.”

 

“Okay,” she smiled, her eyes tracing every line of their child’s image before she clutched the photograph to her chest.

 

They found Maggie in the main house, looking through a supply list with one of the other residents. When she saw them enter, she nodded to the woman beside her and passed the clipboard across before she turned to move towards them.

 

“Well?” she asked excitedly. “How did it go?”

 

Wordlessly, Carol handed the photograph to her, unable to hide her widening smile. Beside her, Daryl’s arm slid from her shoulder to settle around her waist. He felt something stirring inside him which he hadn’t felt before. His whole life had changed the moment he saw their child on that screen...he couldn’t explain it...he just…

 

“Oh...” Maggie beamed, her fingertip tracing across the tiny image. “Our kids are going to be growing up together...they’re going to change this world.”

 

“I think so too,” Carol smiled as she took back the offered photograph. “The new start of our family.”

 

“Yes,” Maggie told her, smiling despite the tears in her eyes. “Our proof that love still exists in this messed up world…”

 

Carol nodded, becoming emotional even though she’d promised herself there would be no more tears. Smiling, she handed the picture to Daryl before she stepped out of his embrace so she could draw the woman before her into a tight hug. “I like that...it sounds like a title of a book.”

 

The two women’s rounded bellies bumped together, causing both of them to burst into laughter, especially when Maggie’s baby kicked grumpily at the intrusion.

 

“Sorry,” Maggie grinned when Carol pulled away. She ran her hand over her stomach in an effort to settle the baby. “He’s not even here yet and he’s already bullying his cousin!”

 

“He?” Carol asked, her eyes dropping down to the other woman’s belly. “You’re having a boy?”

 

Maggie nodded, her wide smile bringing Carol back to her side. Reaching out for her hand, Carol squeezed her fingers. “That’s wonderful…”

 

“What about you?”

 

“Oh...we…”

 

“We’re gonna wait,” Daryl told her when Carol looked back at him with a smile.

 

“Oh yes,” Maggie beamed, nodding her head as she blinked back tears. “Something for us all to look forward to.”

 

Before either Carol or Daryl could respond, the warning sound of an unscheduled visitor caused all three of them to look at one another questioningly before they made their way out of the house.

 

Maggie moved towards the gate, looking up towards the guard who had sounded the warning. “How many can you see David?”

 

“One car,” he shouted down, looking through the binoculars to try and get a better look at the occupants in the car.

 

Daryl broke away from Carol’s side before she could stop him. Climbing up onto the ledge, he took the binoculars from David’s hands and peered down the lenses. Dust plumed around the car, the billowing cloud covering the front window. Adjusting the lenses, Daryl leaned forward and focuses on the windscreen. The cloud of dust parted just enough for him to catch a glimpse of Michonne’s dark dreadlocks, and he couldn’t hide the grin spreading across his face.

 

“It’s Rick...open the gate.”

 

Handing the binoculars back to David, Daryl climbed down from the ledge and held his hand out for Carol. She moved towards him, clutching onto his fingers as her heart filled with so much joy at having some of her family back together again...but yet...Rick usually didn’t arrive unannounced, not unless there was a problem. Worry seeped through the joy she’d been feeling, tingeing it with an unexplained apprehension.

 

“What?” Daryl asked when she clutched his hand a little tighter. “Carol?”

 

“Something’s wrong…”

 

Her words struck a sudden fear into him and before he could stop himself, Daryl tucked their child’s photo into his pocket before raking his hands over Carol’s body.

 

“What?” he asked urgently. “Is it the baby? Ya hurtin’? Carol...tell me…”

 

“No, _no_ ,” she whispered, trying her best to reassure him. “I’m fine...it’s Rick...something has to be wrong, I can _feel_ it…”

 

Before Daryl could formulate any kind of reply, the gates opened to allow the car to drive through, coming to a stop just inside the compound. The gates were quickly closed behind it, and Daryl squeezed Carol’s hand as he tugged her with him towards the car.

 

As soon as the door opened and Rick stepped out, they knew something was very wrong. His eyes were red rimmed, and the sheer look of devastation in his eyes caused Carol to gasp out a breath. Michonne was the next out, her eyes showing the same haunted desolation as her companion...and the moment she saw Carol’s face, she crumbled into tears.

 

Carol let go of Daryl’s hand and surged towards her friend, bypassing a stunned Maggie who she knew was seeing untold grief from their two family members. Michonne wasn’t one to openly cry...she rarely allowed her walls to drop long enough to shed tears...but whatever had happened...it was bad. Carol’s arms closed around the other woman, tugging her forward as she sagged, dropping to her knees in tears. Carol held on tight, lowering herself downwards with her, to perch on her knees. Her watery eyes looking to Daryl, silently begging him to find out what had happened so they could fix whatever this was.

 

“Rick?” Daryl asked as he stepped towards his brother, reaching out to the other man. “What…”

 

Rick’s eyes swam with tears as he held onto Daryl’s shoulder and almost doubled over. Shaking his head, he gasped in a sob as he drew himself back upright. His fingers tightened around Daryl’s shirt when he tried to speak the words, but he couldn’t seem to make his voice work.

 

“Rick…” Daryl asked again, moving forward to dip his head a little so he could see into his brother’s haunted eyes. “What happened?”

 

_“Carl…”_ Rick’s strangled words came out in a broken wail that caused his voice to break. _“Carl…”_

 

“What about Carl?” Daryl asked urgently, his eyes darting from Rick to Michonne before he glanced into the car to see Judith asleep in the back. Gasping in a breath, Daryl reached out with his free hand, pushing at his brothers shoulder. “Rick, where’s Carl?”

 

“He’s...gone…” Michonne’s voice broke through Rick’s soft sobs. “He…”

 

_“No…”_ Carol gasped, shaking her head in disbelief as she tightened her hold on the weeping woman in her arms. Her own eyes filled with tears, unable to hold them back as she tried to comprehend what she was hearing. “No... _no_ …it _can’t_ be...”

 

Daryl swallowed heavily as he squeezed Rick’s shoulder, not realising his touch was all it would take for his brother to break down completely. He didn’t know what to do. Rick was making noises Daryl hadn’t heard from him since Lori had died.The wails of grief seemed to seep from his every pore, and when he shakily stepped forward, seeking comfort, Daryl held onto him while he sobbed out his son’s name.

 

Maggie shook her head from side to side. There wasn’t supposed to be any more death, not now. Negan was gone...he was dead and buried...he couldn’t hurt anyone ever again...Carl couldn’t be gone...he just couldn’t...Her eyes slipped from Michonne to Rick, suddenly afraid of losing her own tenuous control over her emotions. She had managed to get to a point where she didn’t cry every day for her lost husband...her lost father, her sister, Sasha, Abraham...the list just kept going on and on…

 

“Come inside,” she managed through a shaky voice as she laid her hands over Carol and Michonne’s shoulders. “Let’s go inside.”

 

Michonne nodded against Carol before she lifted her head and pulled away. Getting to her feet, she swiped at her eyes and looked up towards the cloudless sky as if the bright sunshine could stem her tears. She took a few deep breaths before she stepped away and moved towards the back of the car to peer inside at her sleeping daughter.

 

Maggie helped Carol to stand, both women leaning onto each other for support when Michonne carefully lifted Judith out of the car and moved towards them. All three glanced towards Daryl who nodded in answer that he would make sure his brother would be okay.

 

000

 

The daylight was beginning to fade and the fractured family sat in a peaceful silence while Judith played with some building blocks in the middle of the floor, oblivious and innocent to the sadness of this world. The adults had barely spoken since coming into the main house a few hours before. The only sounds now was the crackling fire; the bright flames dancing over the wooden logs as it cast a warm glow into the room.

 

“He didn’t tell us,” Rick’s soft voice broke through the silence, causing all eyes to turn to him.

 

“What happened, Rick?” Maggie asked softly as she sank back further into her chair. Her gaze fell to the small sofa beside her, watching as Michonne leaned further into Rick’s side.

 

“He got bit…” Michonne’s voice was hoarse as she spoke, struggling to keep more tears from falling. “He…”

 

“He was trying to protect us,” Rick nodded, threading his fingers through Michonne’s, squeezing her hand. “He didn’t want us to worry…”

 

“I just thought he was tired,” Michonne shook her head as she swallowed at the grief welling inside her one more. “It didn’t even occur to me…”

 

“To neither of us,” Rick interjected, bringing his other hand up to cover her knuckles. “He...he said he had things...things he needed to do…”

 

“What things?” Carol asked, her voice breaking when she tried to think of the very last time she had seen the remarkable young man.

 

Daryl untangled his hand from Carol’s so he could drape it over her shoulders. Tugging her closer, her nuzzled his lips against her temple, holding her close to him when she leaned into him.

 

“He wrote letters…” Rick’s voice wavered when he thought of his brave son. “He...wrote to you…”

 

Carol lifted her eyes to his, her mouth opening to speak but she couldn’t trust her voice not to break. She watched silently when Rick’s gaze slipped from hers and onto Daryl’s, watching him with the same intensity he’d done with her.

 

“He wrote to all of you…”

 

“All of us?” Maggie asked softly, shaking her head as she spoke. “He...wrote to all of us?”

 

“Yeah…” Rick all but whispered as he lifted his hand from Michonne’s and unclasped their fingers. Reaching into his shirt pocket, his fingers brushed over the pieces of paper his son had passed to him only hours before he’d died. They had nestled over his heart for the last two days, Carl’s last written words keeping them tethered together for a little longer. Clasping hold of the papers, Rick pulled them out and instantly felt as if he was losing his son all over again. His eyes drifted across the folds and settled over the neatly written name on the top of the pile.

 

Carol trembled a little as she watched Rick’s hesitance to part with the precious items he held in his hand. She knew exactly how he’d felt...she had wanted to die right alongside her daughter...it was only because of Daryl she hadn’t lost herself completely. He had kept her afloat...loving her despite her own feelings of guilt. He’d helped her through the pain and loss...and he was still helping her, long after Sophia had died.

 

“Carol,” Rick’s voice brought her from her memories and she lifted her eyes to look at him questioningly.

 

Carol’s gaze dropped to the paper he held delicately between his fingers, and she found herself eyeing it with apprehension. She wasn’t sure she was ready to read Carl’s last words to her. He’d been her last link to her daughter...he was supposed to be living and breathing, carrying Sophia’s memory forwards, not...this…

 

Judith looked up from the blocks she was playing with and got to her feet. Moving towards her father, she smiled brightly when he gave her the note and pointed to Carol, urging her to walk across to give it to her.

 

“Can you give it to Carol, honey,” he asked, his soft tone encouraging his little girl to walk across to Carol and thrust it towards her.

 

“Thank you, sweetheart,” Carol whispered, her smile fading a little when she saw her name scrawled in Carl’s unique handwriting. She barely heard Rick when he spoke again, or saw Judith deliver each of her brother’s letters with a bright, happy smile. All she could focus on were the words written inside the folded paper.

 

“Ya wanna take a walk?” Daryl asked her, his breath fanning her hair. He knew she was struggling, and not only because of another unbearable loss. They had known Carl since their first days together in the quarry...which made his death all the more poignant in a way.

 

Carol swallowed at the lump in her throat when she lifted her eyes up to his. He was watching her with so much adoration...so much concern...Shaking her head no, she took a breath and carefully unfolded the letter in her hands, preparing herself for whatever she was about to read. She felt Daryl’s warmth beside her; his constant presence filling her with the much needed courage she needed to do this.

 

“Do you realise we’re all that’s left now?” Maggie’s voice caused each of them to lift their eyes to her. She was perched on the edge of her seat, looking around the room at her makeshift family.

 

“Yes...we are…” Rick nodded sadly as he held out his arms for Judith when she climbed onto his lap. “We’re all the family left since the prison...we’ve been through so much together.”

 

“Too much,” Carol murmured, trying desperately not to allow the wave of sadness to swallow her whole.

 

“Yeah…”

 

Carol sighed sadly when she heard Daryl’s resigned voice, knowing that single word said more than anything else he could say. He had grown closer to Carl since the prison, she knew he’d regarded the young boy as family, even though at one time he would have fiercely denied it. Reaching for his hand, she squeezed his fingers and felt the sadness swirling through her when she read the words which threatened to break her heart.

 

_When mom died, you were there for me. You were like a mom to me and you made me remember all the things I almost forgot. You told me mom would be proud of me. I doubted it for a long time, you know. I didn’t believe all those things you and she saw in me, but I do now._

_I want you to know I’ll take care of Sophia for you. I won’t let her dad hurt her. I promise._

_I hope you and Daryl finally work things out. He doesn’t say much, but I know he loves you. Please try and make it work, do it for me._

_I’ve always loved you, Carol. I know I should have told you before now, but I guess I was scared to lose you. Everyone I love dies, but now it’s me who’s doing the dying and I don’t want it to be too late. Be happy. Please don’t cry for me, I don’t want you to be sad._

_Carl_

 

Carol’s eyes blurred with tears when she read the words over once more. He hadn’t wanted her to cry for him, but how could she not. It wasn’t fair…

 

“Carol?” Daryl asked worriedly when she bent over to lay her forehead onto her knees. Carl’s letter caught between her fingers. “Hey…”

 

“When will it end, Daryl?” she asked, her sorrowful voice muffled in her lap.

 

“Carol…”

 

Lifting her head, she turned to him and swiped at her cheek only to have more tears fall in the wet track of the first.

 

“How are we supposed to keep our baby?” she asked as her voice rose a little higher. “How can we raise a child in this world…”

 

“Carol…” reaching out towards her, Daryl placed his letter from Carl into his shirt pocket before his hands closed around both of her shoulders. “Hey…”

 

“He was my last link to her, Daryl…” she managed before her face crumbled completely. “He was the last one…”

 

“I know,” he told her, lowering his voice to whisper against her ear. “I know…”

 

Carol closed her eyes and allowed him to pull her against his chest. She tucked her head beneath his chin, unable to quell her grief.

 

“Baby?” Michonne’s voice cut through the soft sobs filling the room as she looked from Maggie to the other couple who were wrapped up in their own grief. “You’re having a baby?”

 

Daryl lifted his head and looked towards her, nodding slightly before he tugged the woman he loved closer. “Yeah...we are.”

 

“Oh, my god,” Michonne untangled herself from Rick’s embrace as she swept her fingers across her wet cheeks. Shifting forwards, she got to her feet and moved to kneel before her friends. “Carol…”

 

Lifting her head, Carol met Michonne’s watery gaze and slowly extracted herself from Daryl’s arms. Reaching out, she grasped hold of her friend’s hands and threaded their fingers together.

 

“How far?” Michonne asked softly, her eyes swimming with tears.

 

“Twenty weeks,” Carol sniffed, nodding her head when Michonne gestured towards her stomach. Moving further forward, Carol took Michonne’s hand and guided it to her rounded belly.

 

“You’re okay?” Michonne asked, her lips breaking into a smile despite her tears. “You and the baby?”

 

“Yes, we’re both fine,” Carol told her softly, nodding even though her eyes drifted down towards the paper in her hands.

 

“He would have been so happy for you.”

 

Carol’s gaze lifted again towards the woman before her, her soft words making her eyes fill with tears again. Taking a deep shuddering breath, she looked above Michonne’s head to see Rick’s red rimmed eyes looking into nothingness. He was as broken as she had been when she too had seen her precious child die before her eyes. This world had made them all into people who were so far away from their previous selves. Their makeshift family was tethered by love. Their survival had everything to do with how they all felt for one another, and Carol knew this grief would slowly ease away to make way for the love which bound them all together.

 

“We owe it to him to be happy,” Michonne’s voice wavered as she spoke, her eyes flitting across to the other pregnant woman who was watching them. “We owe it to him to become a stronger family...a bigger family...and you two are making that happen right now.”

 

“You too,” Maggie started. “You and Rick…”

 

“Yes,” Michonne all but whispered, turning her head to look towards the man she adored before she turned back around, offering both women a tight smile. “Maybe one day.”

 

“He wanted peace,” Rick’s voice caused all of them to look towards him, as his eyes slowly lifted to watch each of them in turn. “Carl...he wanted us...to live in peace...I promised him...I told him…”

 

“Rick…” Michonne’s soft voice broke through Rick’s anguish and she quickly got to his feet, returning to his side.

 

“I want to do it,” he told her in a rush, his voice breaking slightly when she framed his face in her hands. “I want to build a home...for all of us…”

 

“What’re ya talkin’ about Rick?” Daryl asked, shifting forward so he could run his hand across Carol’s back.

 

“I don’t want us to be like this,” Rick told him, his eyes seeking out each member of his family in turn. “We’re all in different places...and I don’t want to live that way anymore.”

 

“Yer talkin’ about livin’ here? All of us?”

 

“Yes...no…” Moving forward, Rick looked down at his daughter and ran his fingers through her blonde curls. “I don’t care where...just...I want us together again…”

 

“I’d like that too,” Carol told him softly. “But we have friends at the kingdom who are just as important to us. We have responsibilities to the children there...we can’t just...leave…”

 

“No...no…” shaking his head, Rick wrapped his hand around Michonne’s fingers and offered his family the first genuine smile he’d managed in a very long time. “All of us...everyone...I want to build a community for him...for my son...because he asked…”

 

“You’re talking of all three communities?” Maggie asked, glancing towards Carol and Daryl. “Living as one?”

 

“Yes...all of us...living...growing our own food...not just surviving, but living,” Rick’s voice rose a little as he spoke. He knew his grief was fuelling his words, and the need to fulfill his son’s last wishes was more than a tool to ease his own pain. “For our children...for Judith and the two yet to be born. It’s up to us to build them a home that is safe.”

 

Daryl ran his hand over Carol’s shoulders. He wanted nothing more than to agree to Rick’s vision. He wanted Carol and his child to live in a safe world; one where they were under no one’s control but their own. He wanted it all...he wanted their family back together...but before he could speak, Carol reached up to his hand on her shoulder and threaded their fingers together.

 

“We’ll talk to Ezekiel,” she spoke, turning her head slightly so she could see Daryl’s eyes. “For Carl…”

 

Daryl was nodding before he even realised he was doing it, repeating her words in a quiet solidarity. “For Carl…”

 

“Yes,” Maggie nodded, she too overcome with visions of a new world which brought peace to their future. Reaching out towards the woman beside her, she caught Carol’s fingers and held on tight before she too uttered those same words which had become a mantra for hope. “For Carl…”

tbc


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to CharlotteAshmore for her beta work on this, and for BB and Coreenfw for reading through.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is sticking with this story. 
> 
>  
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNING FOR A BRIEF FLASHBACK FOR IMPLIED RAPE. NOTHING GRAPHIC BUT JUST IN CASE, ANYONE AFFECTED CAN SKIP OVER THAT PART.**

Carol opened the door to their designated bedroom for the night, and slowly stepped inside. The moonlight filtered through the open drapes, casting a silver glow into the room. If she didn’t feel so numb, she would have been in awe of its beauty. Despite the devastation and the stench of death, the earth still had a way of showing her there were still things to take her breath away. Looking around the room, her eyes fell onto the king sized bed and she found herself marvelling at the prospect of stretching out on such a huge mattress. Daryl was much like a limpet, not that she minded. She found she couldn’t sleep without his body wrapped around hers...it was only his closeness which allowed her to rest properly. Even when they’d been out on the road, sleeping on nothing but the hard ground...he’d always slept close by. She had always taken comfort in knowing he hadn’t been far away from her, even though back then they’d been both too afraid to even dream of the relationship they had now.

 

Resting her hand over her rounded stomach, she moved towards the large window and peered out into the darkened sky. Stars twinkled brightly, highlighting the blanket of night with a spectacular display...and for a moment she allowed herself to delve into memories of a night just like this one, not so long ago. She had no idea how much time had passed since the world had changed, but some days, the life she’d led before all of this had happened had seemed like it had been a lifetime ago. Some days Sophia’s face was so clear in her mind, and others she fought to remember even the tiniest details. Tonight though, with the sky so beautiful...one memory sprang forth, and she lost herself within it...

 

_“Shhh...don’t cry, baby girl...it’s all going to be okay…” Smiling down into Sophia’s little face, she began to rock her side to side. “We don’t want to wake your daddy now, do we?”_

_Sophia seemed to calm with her words, and Carol smiled at how her little girl was looking up at her with wide blue eyes. Leaning down, she placed a soft kiss onto Sophia’s forehead before snuggling her closer. There was a cool breeze tonight, and she was thankful she’d thought to wrap Sophia in the fleece blanket instead of the crocheted one she’d made when she was pregnant. She just wished she’d have thought of herself too, but in her haste to get Sophia away before her cries woke Ed, she’d neglected to put her robe on over her thin nightshirt. At least she was wearing some nightwear this time. Before she’d become pregnant Ed had forbidden her to wear any kind of garment to bed. He’d tried to tell her it was because he liked to feel her bare skin against his, but she quickly learned it had nothing to do with his need to feel her at all. He’d made his intentions fully clear the very first time she’d awoken to feel him behind her, ignoring the pain he’d been causing her as he’d pinned her to the mattress, using his weight to hold her there...clamping her eyes closed, she didn’t want to think of all of those times he’d just taken what he’d wanted, violating her body without any care for her at all._

_Looking up to the night sky, she marvelled at the beautiful sight displayed above. The heavens twinkled brightly, and she wished she could be anywhere else but here...with her baby daughter and a man who loved her for who she was. Shivering against the breeze which swirled around her, she tugged Sophia closer and selfishly stole some of her daughter’s body heat to try and warm her own. She wished she could be stronger...she wished she could be brave enough to run...and as she swayed, she found herself smiling despite the heaviness in her heart._

_“I wish we could be free…”_

 

Blinking back the wetness in her eyes, Carol swallowed hard when she fought to escape from the fears of self-doubt. She remembered how she’d wished so hard, and not just on that particular night, but many others afterwards. She had wished for change to come, and she’d prayed for it just as much. If she had only known her freedom would cost her her child, would she have still wished for it anyway? She honestly didn’t know...but the changes had brought about a new life...one which gave her family and love. How could she not see it as anything other than an answered prayer? Without her prayers she would have never been free of Ed. She would have never met the people she was with now. She would never have met Daryl or any number of the people she’d met along this journey...and Sophia would have never known how it felt to feel loved by a true friend… like _Carl..._

 

Lifting a hand to lay it over her shirt pocket, Carol tried not to succumb to the sorrow his memory brought her. His letter laid nestled inside; the weight of it laying heavily over her heart. She was so tired...tired of losing people...it wasn’t fair a young man’s life had been cut short far too soon. Carl was supposed to be here. He was supposed to be their beacon of hope for a better future, but he wasn’t...he was gone. Another senseless death to add to all of the countless others. It just wasn’t...fair…

 

Releasing a heavy sigh, Carol knew she should be trying to sleep before they made the journey back to the Kingdom tomorrow, but she couldn’t seem to pull herself away from the window. Daryl was still downstairs. She knew he needed to spend some time with Rick and she wouldn’t ever begrudge him that time with his brother. But when Maggie had taken Michonne for a walk outside, she hadn’t wanted to succumb to those feelings of desolation she could feel creeping around her. So she had excused herself, squeezing Daryl’s hand before she’d made her way to the room she would be sleeping in for the night. It had been her choice to place this distance between herself and the others, but now she was alone, with nothing but her thoughts for company, those feelings of loneliness began to seep through.

 

Those four people...her family...they had shared something so traumatic together. Negan’s self-imposed rulership had been a catalyst for breaking them all apart that day. But Carol had already begun to disengage from them a long time before anyone had known Negan’s name. Her self imposed exile...her selfmade punishment for the sins she’d committed...didn’t take away the guilt she felt for not being on her knees with the rest of her family, awaiting death by an egotistical mad man. She still didn’t think she had earned the right to smile again, not after Lizzie and everyone else who was dead because of her. Yet here she was, living a life where she was still here, breathing in the death-stenched air...and worrying about bringing a new life into the world.

 

She ran her thumb over her stomach and closed her eyes as she leaned against the window frame. She wasn’t sure she truly believed in prayers anymore...not after everything she’d been through, but when she felt a delicate flutter beneath her palm, every insecure and desolate feeling melted away. Opening her eyes, Carol’s gaze dropped down to her stomach as she smiled. Prayers had given her Daryl...prayers had given her a second chance at happiness...how could she not believe in God after everything she’d received since the world turned? She had a family now; a real family. She had strength...she had stability...and she had love... _so_ much love...and now, she had another child to care for. She had a chance at motherhood again, and this time she had a man who loved her by her side.

 

For the first time in so very long...she believed there could be a future for all of them...and how she wanted it so badly. Pulling away from the window she moved towards the bed and sat down on the edge of the mattress. She was bone weary and physically exhausted, but her mind wouldn’t let her rest. Reaching down to her boots, she untied the laces and slipped the worn leather from her feet before she shuffled backwards and lifted her legs up onto the bed. It wasn’t until she laid back, and her head rested on the pillow, she realised she was laying on top of the covers. She was too tired to move right now, and she was mesmerised by the way the moonlight seemed to encompass her body. Closing her eyes, she awaited the gentle tug of sleep to claim her as her mind drifted towards a little girl with short blonde hair...wishing her daughter was happy wherever she was.

 

000

 

“So...glad to see you finally got your head out of your ass,” Rick chuckled, his genuine smile bringing the other man’s eyes to his. “Congratulations by the way...”

 

“Thanks,” Daryl grinned, blushing slightly as he averted his eyes. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel now, so soon after learning of Carl’s death. Should they be talking about a new baby when Rick had only just buried his own? He struggled to think of something to say, but when Rick spoke again, everything he thought he should say seemed to melt away.

 

“How are you feelin’ with all of this?” Rick asked, the rasp in his voice causing Daryl to lift his eyes. “Are you ready to be a father?”

 

“Gotta be,” Daryl told him, smiling as he spoke. “Never thought I’d have a chance, ya know...I mean, after my old man...and Merle...I don’t wanna become like them…”

 

“You won’t,” Rick assured him, leaning forward a little as he regarded his brother fondly. “You’re the best man I know Daryl...you’re gonna be a great father..”

 

Daryl lowered his gaze, the weight of Rick’s words bringing a smile to his lips. Reaching into his left breast pocket he took out the picture of his unborn child, holding onto it with gentle fingers. His eyes lingered over the image, reluctant to part with it for just a few seconds. He couldn’t understand how one small, square photograph could cause his heart to leap inside his chest. He’d never felt so much love for anyone other than Carol before. It was so confusing but all consuming at the same time.

 

“Is that the sonogram picture?” Rick asked softly, leaning forward in his seat for a better look.

 

“Yeah,” Daryl nodded, smiling wistfully as he handed the photograph over for Rick to get a better look. “I ain’t never felt anythin’ like it before...seein’ it on the screen like that. Kinda makes it all real…”

 

“Yeah,” Rick told him as he gazed down at the black and white image. “When Lori was pregnant with Carl...I…”

 

Daryl watched the other man’s eyes cloud over as he lost himself in memories that were a long time in the past. Rick’s voice trailed away as he blinked back the tears which never seemed to ebb away. Swallowing hard, he handed the photograph back to his brother before his eyes drifted towards the little girl who slept on the couch beside him.

 

“I know she’s not mine,” Rick’s broken voice came out in a whisper as he reached down to stroke his fingertips over Judith’s soft hair. “But...I’m still her father...and Carl...he was…”

 

“Ain’t none of us got people we were born with no more,” Daryl told him as he stroked his thumb across the small photo before he returned it to his pocket again. “But we’re family, all of us. Hell, apart from Merle, I never had anyone I could call my own kin...and even he didn’t act like I mattered all that much. But here, with all of you. I found a family...I found a woman I’d die for...she’s given me everythin’ I never thought I’d ever have...but she ain’t the only one to do that. _You_ are my brother...my kin…”

 

Rick’s eyes watered as he processed the other man’s words. He was right. They had all become a ragtag group of survivors who had formed a family around each other. If he’d have ever thought he’d regard a man such as Daryl Dixon as his brother before all this had started, well...he would have scoffed at the thought. But if the apocalypse had taught him anything, it was that appearances could be deceiving. This man was his brother in every sense of the word, and in every way which counted.

 

“And, you’re mine,” he managed to croak out before his emotions got the better of him. Nodding, he shifted backwards to rest himself against the back of the couch as he regarded Daryl fondly.

 

“What?” Daryl asked curiously when he realised Rick’s eyes were still upon him.

 

“Nothing,” Rick half smiled as he looked away, but within moments he shrugged his shoulders and met the other man’s eyes once more. “It’s just...seeing you, here with Carol, stepping up and being what she needs...you’re the best damn man I know…”

 

Daryl blushed slightly, lowering his gaze down to his knees. He wasn’t used to taking compliments from anyone. The mere thought of it used to make him uncomfortable, but he’d been hearing those same words many times lately. Lifting his eyes, he regarded the man sitting opposite him with brotherly affection. They had both come so far.

 

“So…” Rick spoke again, clearing his throat when he felt the swell of sorrow rear inside him again. “You’re heading back to the Kingdom tomorrow?”

 

“Yeah...was plannin’ to anyway…”

 

“Maybe we could come with you,” Rick suggested. “We could talk to Ezekiel together...it’d give us time to catch up…”

 

“Aren’t ya needed back home?” Daryl asked in surprise. “Are they gonna be okay with ya stayin’ away?”

 

Rick was silent for a long moment. His gaze was fixed on the child sleeping beside him, watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest. “I used to watch Carl sleeping…for hours on end sometimes...”

 

“Rick?”

 

“It’s not home anymore,” Rick’s voice was barely a whisper when he spoke again, and Daryl had to lean forward to hear him. Tearing his gaze away from the little girl, Rick focused on his brother with red rimmed eyes. “There’s nothing there for us...not now…”

 

“I…”

 

“I... _we_...need to be with our family now. All of us, together...we’ve been apart too long,” Rick told him, his soft voice breaking a little as he forced the words out. “I can’t go back there…”

 

Daryl watched the man before him crumbling in front of his eyes, and he found himself nodding before he had time to process. Rick was right. They _had_ been apart for too long. Their family was fractured, segmented into different communities and forced to live apart...but that was going to end right now.

 

“We’ll talk to Ezekiel,” Daryl told him softly, reassurance seeping through every word. “We’ll talk to him about expanding the Kingdom, make it bigger...make it a better place where we can all live.”

 

Rick closed his eyes, the delicate movement causing the welling tears to tumble over his cheeks. His whole body shook with a mixture of grief and relief...but he drew in a sharp breath and held himself together. Opening his eyes again, he tried to smile, but instead just nodded his head.

 

“Thank you,” Rick whispered, his words broken and riddled with sorrow. “Thank you…”

 

“Family sticks together, right?” Daryl told him softly as he reached out to clasp his brother’s hand briefly before releasing him to pull away. “Talk to Maggie when she gets back...maybe she’ll come with us…”

 

Before Rick could answer, Michonne and Maggie returned from their walk, both women stopping in the doorway to look upon the two men. Rick met Michonne’s gaze and smiled in relief when she moved towards him with an outstretched hand.

 

“Talk to me about what?” Maggie asked suspiciously when she moved further into the room to retake her chair between the two couches. “Rick?”

 

When he didn’t answer, Maggie turned towards the other man, fixing her gaze on Daryl who was regarding his brother with sorrowful eyes.

 

“Rick wants to come to the Kingdom with Carol and me tomorrow,” Daryl told her. “We’ll talk to Ezekiel...maybe come come up with some kind of plan.”

 

“Rick?” Michonne asked as she settled beside him on the opposite side to Judith, threading her fingers through his. “I thought we were going back to Alexandria…”

 

“I _can’t…_ ”

 

“But Carl’s there…” Michonne protested. “We can’t leave him…”

 

“ _Carl’s_ gone,” Rick hissed, his voice breaking when the tears once again took their hold. “ _He’s_...gone…”

 

Michonne watched on helplessly when the man she had come to love seemed to fold in on himself. She reached for him, needing comfort just as much as he did. Untangling their fingers, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him tight against her body, her soft sobs mingling with his as she rocked him back and forth.

 

Daryl glanced across at Maggie who was struggling to keep her own grief at bay. He couldn’t deal with this, not tonight. He suddenly ached for Carol; his need to hold her causing him to get to his feet.

 

“I’m gonna go check on Carol,” he announced, unsure if anyone was really listening. “I’m gonna go…”

 

“Goodnight, Daryl,” Maggie told him when he turned to leave the room. She offered him a tight smile, knowing the grieving couple would need her when they finally emerged from their emotional cocoon. She mouthed a silent _they’ll be okay_ when his gaze drifted towards them again, hoping to alleviate the concern in his eyes. Nodding silently, Daryl glanced behind him one last time before he made his way towards the door, and went in search of the woman he loved.

 

000

 

Carol rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. She had only managed to get a few minutes rest until visions of her daughter wearing a monster’s face, had woken her. Taking a deep breath, she tried to think of happier thoughts, ones where her little girl used to laugh at the silliest of things. Other images filtered through the bad ones, creating a picture board of Sophia chasing butterflies with a look of wonder on her face. Those were the memories Carol wanted to keep, not the ones which were attached to the bad ones.

 

When the door suddenly opened, Carol turned her head to see Daryl trying to creep into the room. If he’d noticed she was awake he certainly didn’t show it, and no matter how much Carol tried to hide it, she couldn’t hold on to the soft chuckle which escaped from her lips. Love burst through her when he suddenly froze, his eyes trying to find her through the darkness. She hadn’t realised how it was possible to miss someone so much when they were apart for so little a time. Rolling onto her side, she called his name and held out her hand to him, beckoning for him to climb onto the bed beside her.

 

“Hey, yer supposed to be sleepin’,” he chided, moving closer, kneeling on the bed as he wrapped his fingers around hers. “Thought ya was tired.”

 

“I was,” she whispered softly, waiting for him to settle beside her on the mattress before she released his hand to shuffle closer. The warmth from his body seeped into hers, bringing comfort as well as a sense of security around her. “I can’t sleep without you.”

 

“Hmm...know what ya mean,” he smiled as he settled his arm around her shoulders and waited for her head to rest on his chest. “Don’t like bein’ too far away from ya.”

 

Carol smiled against him and turned her face to press her lips onto his shirt-clad chest. This was something she looked forward to every night, when the two of them found peace within each other’s arms. It wasn’t about sex or connecting, it was about sharing these quiet moments when it was just the two of them together, basking in their devotion to one another. Sighing contentedly, she shifted slightly, turning her head to rest her ear over his heart. His familiar scent swept through her senses, bringing comfort along with it.

 

“How’s Rick?”

 

Daryl tightened his hold on her and tugged her closer. He’d seen Rick encompassed by grief before, but what he’d witnessed just a short time ago went far beyond that. Swallowing hard, he sighed into her hair and clamped his eyes closed. “He ain’t doin’ so good.”

 

“I figured,” Carol’s voice was soft as she spoke, knowing all too well how it felt to lose a child. “There’s nothing anyone can say to make it better, not this time. Losing Sophia was the worst pain I’d ever been through before…”

 

Her voice trailed away when her daughter’s face swamped her mind. Losing Sophia left a pain which ripped through her soul, leaving her completely shattered...she’d never thought she would ever recover from her loss, but she did. She’d learned to live with the pain, knowing while she felt it, Sophia’s memory was still within her. She would never be forgotten.

 

“I ain’t never seen him like that before,” Daryl told her, his gruff voice losing some of its roughness. “It ain’t like when he lost Lori...losing her sent him batshit crazy...but losing Carl...it’s...different…”

 

“That’s because it is different,” Carol murmured softly, Lizzie’s face flashing through her thoughts. “When it’s your own child, it’s like losing a part of yourself...you loved them unconditionally, like it’s something inbuilt in us. When it’s someone else...another person you love...or another child...it’s a different kind of pain…”

 

Daryl’s breath fanned her hair as he slowly opened his eyes. He could feel the tension in her voice and he knew she wasn’t talking about her daughter any more. She still carried so much weight on her shoulders, and one day he hoped she would share some of it with him. There was still so much he didn’t know about her time away from them after the prison.

 

“Ya talkin’ about those girls?” he asked her, keeping his voice low as he spoke. “I don’t know what happened with ‘em, but I know none of it was your fault. What happened, happened...ya ain’t gotta carry it by yerself no more.”

 

Carol drew in a sharp breath and squeezed her eyes shut. Guilt lived within her every day since the Grove. How could she ever ask forgiveness from anyone if she couldn’t ever forgive herself? Opening her eyes again, she looked out into the darkness as she tried to take comfort in the moonlit glow. Maybe one day she would tell him what had happened on that terrible day...or maybe she would keep it hidden inside her as a reminder to never let her guard down again.

 

“We’ve come a long way, you and me…” She told him, steering their conversation away from the painful reminder she always carried within her. Snuggling closer against his chest, she sighed softly while she skimmed her fingertips in lazy circles over his shirt.

 

“Yeah,” he mused, knowing exactly what she was trying to do. He let it go for now, knowing whatever deep seated despair she was holding onto was something he wasn’t going to learn of tonight. He released a soft sigh as he tilted his head to bury his lips into her hair. “We’ve made it this far...together...just you and me…”

 

Carol tightened her arms around him and nuzzled her cheek against his chest. How could she have gotten so lucky to find this wonderful man? “Do you think we would have found each other if none of this would have happened?”

 

“Hmmm…” he mumbled, threading his fingers through the soft strands of her hair. “Always would’ve found ya...just wish it’d been before all this shit happened.”

 

Lifting her head, Carol leaned upwards, propping herself up on her elbow so she could look down at him. She loved this man so much, and up until a few years ago she’d never thought she would ever feel this way about anyone. They had found each other through this dead, decaying world, and created something pure and beautiful from within its embers.

 

“I wish that too,” she smiled down at him as she lowered her head to press her lips to his before pulling away again just as quickly. “I don’t want to waste any more time. We’ve already wasted too much of it already...”

 

“We won’t,” his whispered words puffed against her lips, enticing her to lower her mouth to his once more. With his fingers still buried in her hair, he lifted his head a little to meet her mouth, sealing them together in a kiss that held a promise of so much more.

 

Carol leaned into him, desperate to feel him. Losing Carl had set off a chain reaction within her which brought so much pain right along with it. She needed to be with Daryl...she needed to be close by his side, even though she knew it was irrational and they couldn’t be together for every minute of the day. She ran her tongue along the seam of his closed lips, and groaned into his mouth when he granted her entry. The kiss became deep, almost drugging, as both of them clung to one another in a bid to never be apart again. When the need to breathe forced them apart, they gasped into each others mouths, sharing tiny lingering kisses before they sank into each other once more.

 

There was no room for grief here tonight...and when Daryl rolled onto his side, his fingers slipping beneath her tunic, all there was left, was love...

tbc


	18. Chapter 18

The following morning, the sounds of someone walking past their bedroom door roused Carol from her sleep. Opening her eyes, she was instantly blinded by bright sunshine and lifted her hand to block out the gleaming rays. Her senses were on full alert as she listened for any more signs of movement from the hallway. She brought her hand down and looked towards the door, expecting it to open at any moment...but after a few seconds, whoever was walking around out there had decided not to bother them after all.

 

“Daryl…” his name was no more than a whisper from her lips, but it was enough for him to crack open his eyes for a few seconds before he shook his head against her back.

 

“Hmm...not yet…” his sleep-laden voice rumbled behind her as he shuffled even closer towards her body and buried his face between the pillow and her neck.

 

“I think it’s time to get up,” she yawned, even though she wished she could stay in bed with him for just a little longer. “Sounds like people are already up…”

 

Grasping hold of the sheet which they had managed to cocoon around themselves, Carol glanced at their closed bedroom door and tried to remember if she’d seen a lock when she came here the night before. Ever since they’d all lived together in close quarters, no one had seemed to care about dignity any more. Surviving and caked with weeks worth of grime had been the norm back then. The only people who tended to lock their doors in Alexandria were the couples who didn’t want to be disturbed. Grabbing hold of a corner of the sheet, she gave it a tug and pulled it upwards to cover her bare breasts. The last things she needed right now was to bare all to anyone who might be hovering outside their door.

 

“What’re ya doin’?” Daryl asked with a soft groan as he tightened his arm around her. “Ya ain’t gotta be doin’ no kitchen duty here.”

 

“No, that’s not…I heard someone walking around and I don’t know if the door’s locked.”

 

Lifting his head, Daryl peeked over her shoulder and focused on the wooden barrier which kept them inside their private cocoon. The last thing he wanted was an unwanted intrusion, especially when both of them were buck naked beneath the sheet. Reaching around her, he helped her pull the cover further upwards before he settled back down and molded himself to her again.

 

“Don’t you think we…”

 

Carol’s voice stopped abruptly when a soft knock sounded on their bedroom door, stilling Daryl’s movements behind her.

 

“The _fuck_ ,” he groaned, his breath hot against her neck. “Can’t we just get one mornin’ without someone bangin’ on the _damn_ door?”

 

“Daryl…”

 

“Nah,” he growled as he slipped his arm from around her and rolled onto his back. With a hefty groan he pushed himself upright and swung his legs over the side of the bed, looking around the floor for his discarded jeans. “Ya need ya rest, and none of these fuckers’ll let ya get it here _or_ in the _damn_ Kingdom.”

 

Carol sighed as she sat up and pulled her knees to her chest, securing the sheet more tightly around her. Looking towards him, she couldn’t help the surge of love which just kept on flowing through her. No matter how many times they made love...or how many times they woke up together in a blissful tangle of limbs, she would still never be able to comprehend how wonderful he made her feel.

 

“Have you finished griping?” she asked with a soft smirk when he turned around to face her, zipping up the fly on his jeans. The sight of him before her, with sleep mussed hair and low hanging jeans, Carol could already feel the heat rising through her body. Would she ever stop wanting him?

 

“Pfft…” he scoffed as he bent to pick her tunic from the floor and handed it to her before striding towards the door, yanking it open and ready to greet whoever was outside with some scathing irritation...but when he saw Maggie lifting her balled hand, ready to knock again, his annoyance dimmed a little as she took a step backwards.

 

“Daryl…” she gasped, her eyes flitting over his bare chest before she snapped her gaze away and looked at his face. “Is Carol awake?”

 

Opening his mouth to answer _no_ , Daryl quickly thought better of it when Carol’s soft voice called for Maggie to enter. He glanced back to the bed, mentally checking to see if Carol was fully covered before he stepped aside and allowed Maggie to move forward.

 

Maggie placed a toe over the threshold but didn’t move any further into the room. She stayed at the door, one foot inside as she smiled towards her friend who was watching her expectantly.

 

“What is it Maggie?” Carol asked, pulling the sheet tighter around her lower body, suddenly feeling a little self conscious. “Is everything okay?”

 

“Yes...,” she smiled as she held up a bundle of folded clothes. “Some maternity clothes. I thought you might be needing some.”

 

“Maggie,” Carol gasped, suddenly overwhelmed with the other woman’s gesture. “ _Yes_ , I do, thank you. I can’t fit into _anything_ anymore.”

 

“Here,” Maggie nodded, thrusting the garments towards Daryl who held them against his chest. “It’s not much, but…”

 

“No, it’s wonderful,” Carol gushed happily. “Thank you.”

 

“Okay...I’ll...uh…”

 

Carol regarded the other woman with knowing eyes and sat up a little further in the bed. She gestured for her to come further into the room, but Maggie shook her head and kept her spot at the doorway.

 

“Is there something wrong?” Carol asked worriedly, glancing towards Daryl who was watching the other woman dubiously.

 

Maggie closed her eyes briefly before she opened them again to catch Carol’s worried gaze. “Rick is downstairs with Judith…and he’s acting...strange…”

 

“Well, the man just lost his kid,” Daryl told her gruffly.

 

“No, it’s not just grief...I think he’s so determined to make Carl’s dreams a reality, he’s not thinking of the big picture.” Shaking her head, Maggie looked down at the carpet before she lifted her eyes back towards the woman in the bed. “He wants to leave with the two of you this morning.”

 

“Yeah, we talked about it last night,” Daryl told her, stepping backwards to make his way towards Carol, discarding the clothes onto the bed before sitting on the mattress beside Carol’s bent knees.

 

“I know,” Maggie nodded, stepping a little more into the room. “But Michonne doesn’t think he should be making plans so soon after Carl...and neither do I...it’s too soon and you all only just got here.”

 

“Okay,” Daryl shrugged, looking towards Carol as he laid his hand over one of her knees. “What do ya want us to do about it? Rick’s always done things his own way.”

 

“I know...but…”

 

“Why do you think we’d be able to influence him either way, Maggie?” Carol asked in confusion. Snaking her hand towards the man beside her she tangled her fingers with his. “Rick and I haven’t really been that close since the prison.”

 

“Because you’re... _look_ at the two of you,” Maggie gushed, gesturing to them with waving hands. “You’re so solid...both of you have had this unique bond long before we met...and I know Michonne wants that with Rick...but he’s hell bent on leaving _right_ now.”

 

“Then shouldn’t she be telling Rick that?” Carol asked, shaking her head in confusion. “If their relationship can’t survive what happened with Carl…”

 

“I _need_ them to survive this,” Maggie told them, her voice breaking a little as she spoke. “They should have a happy ending after so much pain...

 

“Look, Maggie…”

 

“I _just_ need a happy ending,” Maggie’s voice came out in a rush and she wiped the beginning of a tear away from her cheek. “I lost mine with Glenn...but I need my son to know...”

 

Carol squeezed Daryl’s fingers when she saw the shadow of guilt settle over his face. Closing his eyes, he took comfort in her warm touch, only opening them again when she spoke Maggie’s name.

 

“Maggie...honey, your life isn’t over because Glenn is gone. You know that, don’t you? It isn’t the end for you…”

 

“I know...it’s just…” throwing her hands to her side, Maggie swallowed hard at the lump in her throat before she focused on the couple on the bed. “Can’t we all just be together? Just for a little while? Even if it’s just for one more day?”

 

Daryl’s brow creased in confusion when he noticed how Maggie seemed to be so far away from the confident woman she’d portrayed for so many months. Carol threaded their fingers fully together, bringing his gaze back to hers, and he knew instantly they wouldn’t be leaving for the kingdom today..

 

“You could come with us,” Carol told her, hoping her soft words would help placate the younger woman. “Jesus could take over for a while.”

 

“Glenn’s here,” Maggie told her, shaking her head from side to side. “I can’t leave him here all alone...I can’t go…”

 

“No one’s asking you to leave here permanently,” Carol told her, eyeing the younger woman with concern. “You haven’t left this place since the saviours were killed. Wouldn’t you like a change of scenery? Even if it’s only for a little while?”

 

“I...I don’t think I can.”

 

“Maggie…” Carol sighed as she rubbed a hand over her eyes.”...We’ll get dressed and talk about it with Rick and Michonne. We’ll just talk about it, okay? No one says you have to come with us.”

 

Nodding in response, Maggie looked between her two friends and swallowed hard as she took a step backwards and made her way towards the door. “I want the same dream we all talked of last night...I do...but…”

 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Daryl spoke up before Carol could reassure the younger woman. “We’re family...we’ll work somethin’ out.”

 

“Yes, we will,” Carol smiled in agreement, her eyes twinkling when he met her gaze. “As long as we’re all together.”

 

“Yeah…”

 

Maggie stopped at the door and turned back briefly to watch the couple, marvelling how they seemed to respond to each other in a silent conversation. She couldn’t seem to shake off the feelings of desperate loneliness which had enveloped her since the five of them had come back together. There was just something so precious about keeping them as one. The last five standing from their life before all of this.

 

“I really _am_ so happy for both of you,” she told them softly, her voice breaking a little as she spoke. Offering them one last smile, she walked out into the hall, closing the door behind her.

 

Daryl and Carol both watched the door in silence, holding onto each other’s hands long after Maggie had gone.

 

“Ya think she’s gonna be alright?” Daryl asked when his eyes dropped to their interlocked fingers.

 

“I hope so,” she told him, the words leaving her lips on a sigh. “It’s hard for her, being alone with a baby on the way...especially now.”

 

He was silent for a long moment, guilt of his mistakes swirling around inside him. He’d left her, run away like a coward instead of staying to face her. He’d let blind panic overcome him and instead of embracing the love she’d given him, he’d fled instead.

 

“Did ya think...when ya found out about ours...did ya think you’d be doin’ this on yer own?”

 

Carol lifted her free hand to trace the lines of his fingers with her own. It seemed so long ago since she’d discovered she was pregnant, and even longer since they’d first made love.

 

“I thought about it,” she admitted, her eyes capturing his as she spoke. “When you left me after our first time, I thought I’d never be with you that way again...not when I thought you couldn’t even bear to look at me.”

 

“Carol…”

 

“No...I know it’s different now,” she told him softly, cutting off his words before he could say any more. “But for a while after I found out about the baby, I tried to think how I was going to do it on my own.”

 

“I shouldn’t have done what I did,” his voice was almost mournful when he lowered his forehead onto their joined hands. “I almost fucked it all up.”

 

“But you didn’t,” her voice was so soft as she spoke, and he slowly lifted his head to meet her watery gaze. “You didn’t...you came back to me, and you made me realise how much you wanted to make things right.”

 

“I do…” he urged softly. “I mean, I did...of course I did...I love ya, Carol. I was just too much of a pussy to admit it…”

 

His words brought a surge of love to her eyes and she leaned forward to press her lips against his. He leant into her, increasing the pressure just a little before they slowly broke apart and smiled at each other adoringly.

 

“We should get dressed,” she whispered, her warm breath fanning across his lips. “They’re expecting us…”

 

“Yeah...well they can wait…” he muttered, closing the tiny gap between their lips to capture hers once more. Moving closer he eased her backwards, his body following hers until he was draped half across her. Propping himself up on one elbow, he grinned down at her before dipping lower to brush his lips against hers, hovering above her. “Good mornin’.”

 

“Hmmm…” she sighed happily, lifting her head a little to kiss him again as she skimmed her fingers through his wayward hair. When she pulled back again to smile up at him, her heartbeat sped up with the intensity of his gaze. She loved and adored this man...so, so much. “Morning…”

 

“So...ya think we can hide up here for a while longer?” He nuzzled her cheek, chuckling when his stubble caused her to shiver against him. “Don’t wanna share ya with any of ‘em…”

 

“Daryl…we should...”

 

When his mouth descended on hers again, any protests she was going to say simply vanished from her mind. The world around them simply melted away as she sighed into his mouth, welcoming him into her warmth. When his hand slipped under the sheet; his fingers sweeping over her rounded stomach...she allowed every other thought to flutter away...lost instead in the sensations he was evoking through her body.

 

The others could wait just a little while longer…

 

000

 

The others were waiting for them when they eventually joined them half an hour later. Carol breezed into the kitchen, knowing her flushed cheeks were surely going to reveal just what she and Daryl had been doing only a short time ago. Should she even be this happy when there was so much sadness around them?

 

Maggie greeted her with a warm smile and handed Carol a cup of steaming tea before she caught Michonne’s eye. Both women were watching her with amusement, but instead of feeling a flood of embarrassment, Carol couldn’t help but feel a little...empowered. She was no longer the beaten down housewife who everyone used to feel sorry for. She was a strong and capable fighter; fierce and protective of her whole family. She had the love of an extremely desirable man by her side...she was carrying his child, and she felt completely beautiful for the first time in her life.

 

“So…” Michonne started, clearing her throat as she lifted her mug to her lips.

 

“Hmm?” Carol hummed, quirking one eyebrow as she took a sip of her tea. She could see Michonne smirking, and trying to hide it behind her mug, and for a moment Carol was grateful to see her friend wasn’t full of grief. She knew it wouldn’t last, but if she could provide the brief reprieve of sadness, then so be it.

 

“Did the clothes fit?” Maggie asked suddenly, her gaze dropping down to the dark pants Carol wore.

 

“Oh, yes they’re perfect,” Carol beamed, running her palm over her swelling midriff. “It’s so good to have something that fits.

 

“Good,” Maggie nodded, catching Michonne’s eye. The other woman was full of mirth, grinning behind her mug like a cheshire cat, and Maggie had to turn away before she broke into a smile herself. She didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or impressed when the three of them had heard the creaking from the bed upstairs. Talking a little louder didn’t seem to work either, not when they all knew exactly what was going on upstairs in the room above them.

 

“You look really good, Carol,” Michonne told her as she lowered her mug, looking at the other woman for a long moment. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you looking so…”

 

“Happy?” Maggie offered, a little enamoured herself with her silver-haired friend.

 

“I was going to say radiant,” Michonne tilted her head to the side, her gaze scanning Carol’s flushed face. “Yes...radiant.”

 

Carol felt the blush starting from her chest and rising all the way up to her cheeks. She’d never been described as radiant before, and she certainly didn’t feel it right now. So instead of stumbling over the right words of thanks, she simply reached across to clasp Michonne’s hand and squeezed her fingers affectionately.

 

“So, did Maggie tell you?” Rick’s voice interrupted the moment between the three women when he lifted Judith into his arms and brought her into the kitchen.

 

“About ya wantin’ to leave right away?” Daryl asked as he moved to stand beside Carol who held her half drank tea towards him. Taking the mug from her hand, his eyes met hers as he took a sip before handing it back to her.

 

Both Michonne and Maggie watched the interaction between the couple, enthralled with the way they seemed to be so comfortable together. They had both come so far since those early days back at the farm...even though it seemed a lifetime ago now.

 

“Yeah,” Rick continued, unfazed by the affectionate display. “I want to get started on this right away. No point in holding back, not anymore.”

 

Carol caught Maggie’s eyes and opened her mouth to tell him they should wait a while, but when she felt Daryl’s arm slide around her shoulders, everything she was going to say simply faded away. His fingertips played lazily with the collar of her tunic, and Carol wondered briefly if he even realised he was doing it.

 

“Why don’t ya give it a another day?” Daryl suggested, catching his brothers gaze. “We only just arrived ourselves yesterday, and I know Carol wouldn’t mind spendin’ some time with Maggie and ‘Chonne…”

 

“I would really like to stay for a little while longer,” Carol nodded, turning her gaze onto their former leader. “It’s one more day, that’s all...please, Rick.”

 

“We haven’t been together in so long,” Maggie pleaded softly, looking to Michonne for support.

 

“Maybe we could stay a little longer?” Placing her mug onto the counter behind her, Michonne stepped towards the man she loved and held her arms out for the little girl she’d adopted as her own. “It would be good for Judith to be with family, don’t you think?”

 

Taking a step back, Rick’s eyes clouded over as he looked to each of them in turn. They were all watching him with barely contained concern, and before he could register what he was doing, he turned his back on all of them and began to move. He couldn’t deal with this, not a betrayal from his own family...not them…

 

All four looked at each other as he walked away, half expecting to see this kind of reaction from him. Slipping his arm from Carol’s shoulders, he held his palm against the small of her back, letting it rest there for a few moments before he pulled away.

 

“I’ll talk to him,” he told her, even though he was addressing all three of them in the room. “If ya wanna stay, we stay.”

 

Carol’s gaze melted into his. Nodding slightly, she smiled brightly conveying her answer without words.

 

“Okay,” he grinned, moving away from her as he moved towards the door. “I’m gonna talk to him…”

 

“Okay…”

 

She kept her eyes on his retreating form, watching him until he disappeared from view completely. She really hoped he would be able to make Rick see they weren’t giving up on the plans they’d all made the night before.

 

“Come on,” Maggie’s voice broke through the silence in the room as she reached out to take the mug from Carol’s hand and placed it in the sink. “I want to show you something.”

 

With one last look behind her, Carol nodded and followed the two women out of the room, wondering where they were going.

 

tbc


	19. Chapter 19

Daryl watched silently as the man he had come to love as a brother, paced furiously backwards and forwards outside the large house. He knew their former leader was agitated, _hell_ they _all_ were. Since Negan, they’d all been splintered to different communities, and they’d lost so many of their family already.

 

“Did Michonne put you up to it?” Rick asked, his voice hitching angrily when he whirled around to look at him.

 

“Rick…”

 

_“No…”_ Rick spat, his red rimmed eyes seeming even more haunted today. “We planned to do this...we _all_ planned it.”

 

“I know we did.” Moving towards him, Daryl held his hand out to placate the other man. “But the girls, they need this...it’s just for one more day…”

 

“One more day when we could be on the road!”

 

“One day won’t make a blind bit of difference, Rick…” Daryl’s voice flared with annoyance when he saw how his brother wasn’t going to listen to reason right now. “We’ll head to the kingdom tomorrow. It ain’t like we’re never gonna leave, _they_ just need this, okay.”

 

“And _I_ need to be _doing_ something,” Rick growled, turning away from Daryl and the house to stomp angrily towards the cars.

 

Daryl watched his retreating form, not really knowing what to say to the other man. He was grieving, just like they all were. Only a few months ago they’d been reeling from Negan’s tyranny. Fractured and oppressed into compartmented groups. They had ceased to become survivors and instead transformed into an army. None of them had asked for any of this, but they all were doing the best they could anyway. It wasn’t fair, none of it was...but somehow during the madness of it all, a small group of people had come together to become a family.

 

“Rick,” he called after him, jogging to catch up with him before he could do anything rash. “Rick, wait…”

 

“ _You_ don’t _know_ what it’s like to lose a child,” Rick hissed as he spun around to shove Daryl’s hand away. “ _None_ of you do.”

 

For a moment Daryl was struck with the ferociousness of Rick’s words. He wasn’t thinking straight, and grief was making him say things...things Daryl was grateful Carol wasn’t here to hear. Opening his mouth to respond, he saw how Rick’s eyes clouded over when he realised what he’d just said…but it was too late.

 

“I may not know how it feels to lose a kid, _but_ Carol does. Or did you forget about Sophia?” Daryl growled. “You know, Carol’s little girl who _you_ had to put down, _right_ in front of her?”

 

“Daryl.” Shaking his head, Rick stepped forward. His eyes shone with a fresh sheen of tears as he tried so hard to speak without his voice breaking.

 

“She lost those two girls...kid at Alexandria too…” Daryl swung his arm in the air in frustration as he ranted, honing in on Rick. “Your own woman lost her kid, too...don’t ya think she feels it?”

 

“I’m sorry...I…”

 

Sighing heavily, Daryl lowered his hand and clamped his eyes closed for a brief moment while he tried to reel in his temper. When his eyes opened again, he looked behind Rick to where dozens of graves stood in endless neat lines.

 

“Glenn...Abe...they’re over there. Both of ‘em a constant reminder of how much we’ve lost. _Hell_ , my brother is buried in some field...Sophia’s at the farm, and Hershel ain’t even buried at all...it ain’t just _you_ who’s lost family, Rick!”

 

Both men eyed each other, breathing heavily. Rick’s body seemed to crumble as he bent over and held his hands on his knees. His heart ached and his eyes refused to stay dry. Every time he closed his eyes he saw his son; his brave, courageous son...Carl had given his life to save another. He’d done exactly what Lori had taught him since he’d been just a boy...how could that be wrong when he was leaving his mark on this world? Rick’s breath caught on a sob, but he clamped it down quickly before it could take hold over him...he had to, because if he didn’t, he would crumble beneath the weight of it all.

 

“Gonna see if any of the fences need fixin’ while we’re here,” Daryl spoke as he looked around at the large wooden barrier around the compound. “Ya comin’?”

 

The words hung in the air, even when Daryl turned from Rick and began to walk away...and just like that, the harsh words spoken through grief, were forgiven. Lifting himself upright, Rick swallowed at the lump in his throat and blinked away the wetness gathering in his eyes. Daryl was right, they _had_ lost so many along the way, so much grief and so much pain...but throughout it all, they had to go on. If not for themselves, then for everyone who had laid down their lives to give them theirs. Wordlessly he began to move, following the same path as his friend...his _brother_...knowing he had to keep going for the sake of his family, and for the promise he’d made to Carl.

 

000

 

Carol followed Maggie and Michonne through the house, curious as to what they wanted her to see. The two of them seemed to be bubbling with excitement, looking back at her every few seconds before they finally reached their destination.

 

“Okay, so what’s this all about?” Carol asked, her eyes crinkling with surprise when Maggie turned the brass handle and pushed open the heavy wooden door.

 

“You’ll see,” Michonne grinned, equally excited for Carol to see what was inside the room.

 

Maggie stepped aside and held her hand up, gesturing for Carol to make her way into the room. Her smile grew even wider when Carol watched her suspiciously, only to relent after a few seconds to peer into the room. Her eyes roamed around the items inside, coming to fall on a solid oak crib beside the window.

 

For a moment Carol just stood there, her gaze fixed on the hand carved design which was engraved into the wood. It was exactly like the crib she’d wanted for Sophia, but Ed had made her buy an old second hand one. She was sure if he could have gotten something given away for free he would have snapped it up...but something like _this_...no way…

 

“Go on,” Maggie urged softly as she gently nudged Carol over the threshold. “It’s yours.”

 

“Mine?” Carol asked in numb disbelief. She took a few tentative steps towards the crib and ran her fingertips over the carved flowers. Tears filled her eyes but she blinked them away, not wanting to succumb to any more of her hormones. “It’s so beautiful…”

 

“I remember you told me back at the farm how you’d wanted one just like this,” Maggie told her with a warm smile. “It wasn’t long after we’d buried your little girl...and we talked, not for long, but I remember every word.”

 

Carol swallowed hard as she tried to push the welling emotion away. She remembered that day too, but it had merely been a two minute conversation made when she had visited Sophia’s grave. She and Maggie had never been all that close before, but those few words they’d exchanged back then had been important enough to remember.

 

“Thank you.” Turning her head to look at the younger woman, Carol offered her a watery smile as she reached out to take her offered hand. “I didn’t think you even remembered. We didn’t exactly talk much back then.”

 

“I know,” Maggie nodded. “But you did make an impression. Not just on my dad, but on all of us who knew you…”

 

Carol squeezed her fingers before releasing her hand, unsure how to respond to such a glowing compliment. Shrugging her shoulders, she turned back to the crib again, smoothing both hands over the rail. “I didn’t do much...cooking a decent meal was about the only thing I was good at.”

 

“You know that’s not true,” Michonne’s voice startled the other two women as she moved into the room. Lifting Judith onto her opposite hip, she laid a warm hand over her friends shoulder. “We would all be dead now if it wasn’t for you. Judith wouldn’t be here now either if you hadn’t kept her safe…”

 

“You broke us out of Terminus,” Maggie told her, her eyes becoming brighter as she spoke. “You walked right in there and took them all on...like a warrior queen!”

 

“I’ve never been called that before,” Carol scoffed, grinning despite the heated blush creeping over her cheeks. “But, I got lucky. You would have all gotten out on your own eventually anyway.”

 

“No, we wouldn’t,” Michonne shook her head as she spoke, glancing to Maggie before she focused on the older woman once more. “When you blew those tanks, Glenn told us they had all the guys lined up to slaughter...he would have been next, but the explosion stopped them.”

 

“So you see, we all owe you in one way or another,” Maggie smiled. “That’s what makes us a family.”

 

“A growing family,” Michonne beamed, feeling the emotional shift between them all. “With two new members on the way.”

 

Maggie’s hands dropped to her stomach, gliding her palm over her protruding belly. “It hardly seems possible. This baby has survived through so much already.”

 

“Because it has a courageous mother,” Carol told her with a watery smile. “And his daddy was one of the bravest and most honest men I’ve ever been lucky enough to know.”

 

Swallowing hard, Maggie nodded her head slowly before she lifted her eyes up to focus on her two friends. “I don’t feel very courageous right now.”

 

“Oh, honey,” Carol’s arms were around her before the first tear could fall. “You’re not going to be here alone in this. All of us will be here to help you...just like you’ll all be here for us when we have ours…”

 

“I just…”

 

“I know,” Carol whispered, knowing how Maggie was struggling to conquer her fears for their future. “I felt just the same as you when I found out I was pregnant. A baby at my age...it was full of complications in the old world, but it’s even more dangerous now. I’m not a young woman anymore...what if I die in childbirth?”

 

“ _Don’t_ talk like that, Carol,” Maggie hissed as she pulled away from her. “Don’t ever talk like that, okay. It would kill Daryl to lose you.”

 

“I can’t _not_ think of it, Maggie,” Carol’s voice wavered as she spoke. “There are so many things that could go wrong.”

 

“But they won’t,” Maggie was adamant, the certainty in her voice making Carol almost believe her... _almost_.

 

“Maggie…”

 

“No Carol,” the younger woman told her as she stepped closer to her side and clasped hold of her hand in a tight grip. “You’re going to be here through all of it. Out of all of us, you’ll be the last one standing...still taking care of everyone else while you do it.”

 

“She’s right,” Michonne grinned as she pressed her lips against Judith’s soft hair, humming soft words into the little girls silken strands. “Aunt Carol isn’t going anywhere, is she Judith?”

 

Judith lifted her head from her mother’s shoulder and looked to the three women in turn. Her lips turned into a wide smile, a toothy grin transforming until all three of them were smiling right along with her.

 

Turning away from the two women, Carol shifted her eyes back onto the crib and reached inside to run her fingers over the lace protector which covered the bars. She didn’t want to think of the bad things, but how could she not? If she died while giving birth, or if there were complications...Closing her eyes she drew in a sharp breath when thoughts of Daryl alone with a child swamped her mind. Were they foolish to even be trying to do this now? Opening her eyes, she blinked at the tears building there, trying desperately to keep them at bay but she was already failing miserably.

 

“I need you both to promise me something,” her voice was soft, the strain etched through every word as she slowly turned around to face them. “Please…”

 

“Carol...what?”

 

The smile fell from Maggie’s face to be replaced with concern as she saw the obvious distress in her friends eyes. Glancing across to Michonne, Maggie saw how she too was watching Carol worriedly while trying to balance a wriggling Judith on her hip.

 

“If I don’t make it,” Carol started, holding up her hand to silence both women’s protests. “If I die...I need to know you’ll take care of _him_...please... _promise_ me…”

 

“Carol…” Shaking her head, Michonne swallowed at the lump in her throat and tugged the child in her arms a little closer.

 

“I _need_ to know he won’t be alone,” Carol told her, swiping at the lone tear which broke free to tumble over her cheek. _“Please…”_

 

“He won’t,” Maggie told her, nodding adamantly when she clasped hold of Carol’s hand while trying to keep her own emotions from spilling over. “He won’t…”

 

Carol’s bottom lip quivered as she tried to smile, nodding her head gratefully towards the two other women. Releasing Maggie’s hand, she lifted her palms to her eyes and pressed at the gathering wetness while she took a deep breath before lowering her arms down to her sides.

 

“Thank you,” she spoke softly, her voice gravelled with tears. “Both of you.”

 

“I still say you’re worrying over nothing,” Maggie told her lightly, smiling despite the heaviness in the room. “You’re gonna be here to see how Daryl copes when you have this baby…”

 

“Oh…” Michonne chuckled. “He’s going to be impossible!”

 

“Maybe you should make him read some of the birthing books I’ve got for you,” Maggie grinned. “I bet he’ll be one of those hands on fathers.”

 

“Wait…” Shaking her head, Carol looked at Maggie incredulously. “You found birthing books?”

 

Maggie’s eyes sparkled when her smile dimmed slightly, but before either Carol or Michonne could comment, she shook off their concern with a wave of her hand. “Glenn found a few books in Deanna’s library…”

 

“Maggie…”

 

“I’m okay,” Maggie smiled, nodding towards Carol who continued to watch her with a worried gaze. “Just...sometimes I forget how it all used to be before Negan came.”

 

“Yeah,” Carol nodded, releasing a soft sigh as she glanced back towards the wooden crib, knowing if Negan hadn’t arrived when he had, she and Daryl would still be dancing around each other in denial.

 

“But, we can’t dwell on the past,” Maggie pulled herself up straighter and motioned her hand towards the open door. “Not when we have all of the people out there depending on us.”

 

“And you have one right there,” Michonne told her with a smile as she gestured towards her swollen belly. “That one is the most important of them all.”

 

Maggie’s hands slipped down to her stomach, her fingertips chasing the tiny movements of her unborn son. Michonne was right, of course she was. After everything they’d all been through, this child had beaten all of the odds to fight for his right to be born. It was up to her to make sure he came into this world knowing how much both she and his father loved him.

 

“You’re not going to be doing it alone, either,” Carol moved away from the crib to rest a hand over her friend’s shoulder. “None of us are going to let you do this alone.”

 

Maggie’s lip trembled but she swallowed hard at the lump in her throat. Nodding her head, she offered her two friends a watery smile and suddenly realised how true their words were. She’d often cried over the injustice of it all, how losing her husband was the end of her existence...but it wasn’t. Glenn had left his legacy behind, his final gift to her to keep his memory alive, and she wasn’t going to waste it.

 

“You know he would be so proud of you, don’t you?” Carol told her, her gentle voice bringing Maggie’s eyes up to hers. “Just as I know my little girl is out there, proud of me for finally living the life she wanted for me. All she used to pray for was for me to stop crying, and finally, I have.”

 

Whatever inner battle Maggie had been fighting to keep her emotions in check seemed to finally fall away. Her eyes filled with tears and her face crumbled as she tried to cover her face with her hands. Carol glanced across at Michonne who nodded knowingly before she moved towards the door with Judith, patting Maggie’s shoulder as she passed. When the other woman had gone, Carol stepped in closer, wrapping Maggie in a protective embrace. She knew all too well how it felt to be so alone and so sad all at the same time.

 

“It’s okay to feel it, honey,” she whispered, her soft words disappearing into Maggie’s shoulder. “You don’t have to hide anymore...not with us…”

 

“I...I miss...him…” Maggie sobbed. “They’re all gone…”

 

“I know you do, sweetie,” Carol soothed as she tugged the other woman a little closer. Their swollen stomachs bumped together, making it virtually impossible to move any closer, but Carol did the best she could to offer the comfort Maggie needed to get through this. “And they’re never really gone...your dad, Beth, Glenn...they’re all right here...just as Daryl, me and everyone else is.”

 

Closing her eyes, Carol wished she could say something more significant to ease Maggie’s tears, but she knew all too well how words didn’t mean very much when someone was grieving.

 

“I used to feel like you do,” she continued, keeping her voice soft as she spoke. “I was married to a man who hurt me, mentally and _physically_...he used to make up excuses for it, but in the end I came to realise he did it because he _liked_ it…”

 

Maggie’s sobs became softer, Carol’s gentle voice soothed her until the tears slowly ebbed away.

 

“...I felt so alone too...I was pregnant and I should have been so happy...but I was so scared of it all...and I had no one...no one at all...but I prayed and I tried to make the best of it all, until my little girl came into the world…” Carol smiled at the memory of Sophia’s beautiful cries, as she felt Maggie slowly start to move.

 

“Did he stop after that?” Maggie asked through a tear strained voice, pulling out of Carol’s embrace long enough to wipe the wetness from her face. “Was he good to you?”

 

Carol watched the younger woman and smiled despite the pain those old memories brought her. Lifting a hand to Maggie’s cheeks, she gently swiped at the lone tear which spilled over.

 

“No…” Shaking her head, Carol met Maggie’s watery eyes. “But I prayed for my life to change, and it did. Sophia changed it at first. She brought me so much comfort, and all of the love I couldn’t give to Ed, I gave to her...and after...when Ed... _died_...I remember thinking how we were finally free, but then I lost her too.”

 

“I’m sorry…” Maggie sniffed, shaking her head as fresh tears gathered in her eyes. “Daddy _really_ didn’t know she was in the barn...I…”

 

“None of that matters now,” Carol smiled. “I thought my life was done...but Daryl...he went out to look for her every single day...he gave me so much more that I’d ever had before just by being my friend...and I like to believe my little girl was the one thing that brought us closer. She led me to Daryl and she led Glenn to you. Without her, none of us would have met.”

 

“Glenn once told me how Sophia was a beacon of hope for all of you, and I never really knew what he’d meant then,” Maggie swiped at her cheeks before lowering one of her hands to rest over her belly. “I think I do now...because _this_ baby is my beacon of hope, now…”

 

“Everything is going to be okay,” Carol smiled as she gently maneuvered Maggie towards the door. “You’ll see.”

 

“For you, too,” Maggie told her knowingly, smiling despite the wetness in her eyes. “For all of us.”

 

“I think so too.” Pulling the door closed behind them, Carol slipped an arm around Maggie’s shoulder and gently moved her forward. “Maybe it’s time we all moved forward together…”

 

Maggie’s eyes widened at her words, knowing the meaning behind them. None of them could do this without each other anymore, even though leaving this place and the graves of their loved ones, would be something so painful.

 

“Maybe…” she nodded, not ready to commit to the idea just yet. “Soon…”

 

“No rush, honey,” Carol told her with a smile, walking with her friend back towards the main area of the house. “Now, let’s go and find the others…and we’ll just have to hope Daryl talked some sense into Rick.”

 

“Yeah, let’s hope,” Maggie chuckled before she glanced towards the woman beside her. “Thank you...for this...I think I needed to...do _this_ …”

 

“Anytime, Maggie,” Carol told her with a bright smile. “Anytime…”

tbc


	20. Chapter 20

They found Daryl and Rick at one of the rear walls, helping to repair some of the cracked wooden posts. For a moment, Carol allowed herself to glance across to the many graves which took up a large part of the Hilltop’s ground. So many mounds were adorned with wooden boards, a lot of them unmarked with only a shoe or a hat to indicate who was buried beneath the earth. Seeing so many of their fallen comrades here always managed to hit a raw nerve, especially when her own little girl had been buried in an unmarked grave, just like these. There was nothing to indicate who she had been, or what she had done in this world...she would just become a nameless skeleton, unearthed by scientists in a thousand years time. Just another victim of the virus which had taken over this world.

 

“Carol?”

 

Maggie’s soft voice drew Carol away from her musings of the future, and she turned to regard the younger woman with a curious gaze.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Smiling despite the ache in her heart, Carol simply nodded and turned away from the makeshift cemetery and thoughts of the past. Maybe she should start a journal...plotting the accounts of the life of now and how it used to be...that way she could immortalize those people they’d loved and lost. Then they wouldn’t just be a pile of old bones, catalogued and forgotten by the future population.

 

“Yeah,” she sighed as she started to walk beside Maggie again. “Do you have any idea where I can get some paper and writing material?”

 

“Yeah, there’s a stack of stuff in the old office,” Maggie told her, watching her questioningly. “Why?”

 

“Hmmm...just a thought,” Carol shrugged, shaking the idea off as some kind of whim, but the more she thought about it, the more the words seemed to be forming inside her head.

 

“Okay?” Maggie grinned, curiosity sparking in her mind. “Are you going to share?”

 

“Maybe when I think about it some more,” Carol told her, smiling mysteriously as she lifted her eyes towards the man she loved, realising he had already thrown down the axe he’d been holding and was making his way towards her.

 

“Well, when you’re ready to look for the things you need, come and find me,” Maggie told her as she patted her arm affectionately. “Right now, it looks like someone missed you!”

 

A slow blush made its way up Carol’s chest, creating a flush of heat to form over her cheeks when she saw the way Daryl was watching her as he strode towards her. She knew that look, she’d seen it many times since they’d become a couple, and it usually led to her being flat on her back or pressed against a wall.

 

“Hey,” his voice was a little breathless when he reached for her the second he was close enough to touch her. “Ya doin’ okay? Did ya eat anythin’?”

 

Carol was taken aback by his questions, unable to take her eyes from his mouth. She had no idea what had come over her, but the thoughts she was having towards him had suddenly transformed from adoration to something approaching carnal. Right now, food was the furthest thing from her mind…

 

“I…” Carol started, trying to keep the slight quiver from her voice. She had never stopped wanting him, but right now, having his hands on her body was all she could think about. She knew her reaction to him hadn’t gone unnoticed. He knew her far too well.

 

“No, she didn’t eat,” Maggie’s voice broke through their haze, her eyes gleaming with mirth when she cast a knowing glance towards her pregnant friend. “Maybe you two should head back inside.”

 

Before Carol could protest, Maggie held up a hand to silence any of her objections before she offered the couple a bright smile. With Rick set in her sights, she wanted to talk to him about his earlier outburst and try to fix whatever reservations were left between them. Nodding in a silent goodbye, Maggie started walking but stopped, turning back briefly to catch Carol’s incredulous smile.

 

“Maybe you could show Daryl the crib…and...” casting the other woman a subtle wink, her lip turned upwards into a sly smile. “Lock the door...you know... _after_ …”

 

Carol opened her mouth to respond but thought better of it when the younger woman turned away from them once more. Shaking her head, Carol couldn’t help the soft chuckle escaping her lips when she realised how Maggie had effectively excused them, and if she wasn’t mistaken, hinted they should have sex.

 

“Crib?” Daryl asked in confusion, his eyes leaving Maggie’s retreating form to fall back onto the woman beside him.

 

“Yes,” Carol grinned, her eyes gleaming brightly when she slipped her hand in his. “Maggie gave us a crib for the baby.”

 

“Yeah?” he asked, his mind already working on ways to get it back home.

 

“Yes. It’s beautiful...it’s just like the one I wanted for Sophia,” Carol told him, her smile fading a little when she thought back to the earlier conversation with Maggie and Michonne. “This baby is going to have so much.”

 

“Good,” he nodded, threading their fingers together as they started to walk back towards the main house. “Should have everythin’, s’how it should be.”

 

Carol glanced at his face while they walked. She didn’t think it would have been possible to love him any more than she already did, but he managed to surprise her every single time. Squeezing his fingers, she leaned in closer, bumping their shoulders together as they made their way back to the house.

 

“Our baby is already lucky.”

 

_“Lucky?”_ he scoffed, lifting his free hand to gesture to the space around them. “Born into a fucked up place like this?”

 

“ _Born_ to have a father like _you_ ,” she corrected, feeling her heart beating just a little faster when his eyes met hers. “If our baby has nothing else in this world, at least he’ll have you.”

 

“ _And_ you,” he told her, his gruff voice softening a little when the impact of her words caused his eyes to become just a little bit brighter. Blinking rapidly to quell the overwhelming emotion flowing through him, he offered her a watery smile before unclasping their hands so he could slide a hand across her shoulders. “He’s gonna be damn lucky to have _you_ as his momma.”

 

Carol leaned into him as they walked, her arm lifting to slip around his back. She glanced up at him, her lips melting into a soft smile. Uncurling her fingers, she shifted her hand to delve her digits into his back pocket, cupping his backside through the denim material covering him.

 

“I want to show you the crib,” she managed, her voice squeaking out when his fingertips curled around her shoulder to tug her in tighter against him. Her body was already responding, erotic thoughts causing her pulse rate to skyrocket inside her. Whether he read the raw need in her eyes, or just felt the heat from her body, he just nodded knowingly, allowing her to lead him towards the main house…

 

000

 

Rick brought the axe down onto the log and split the wood in two. He was still so raw, and still so...he didn’t know what he was. All he knew was how he felt ambushed by the people he loved, but at the same time he knew why they wanted to stay here for a little while longer.

Lifting the axe again, he slammed it down once more, the force of it shattering the remains of the log before he glanced across at his friend. What he saw caused him to drop the axe to the ground before taking a tentative step towards her.

 

“Maggie?”

 

Swallowing hard, Maggie’s eyes stayed on the discarded axe while she tried to banish the distorted images from her mind. Just seeing a member of her family slamming an axe down hard on a piece of wood, an innocent act...it brought flashes of memories...the very worst kind she’d tried so hard to forget.

 

“Hey…”

 

Rick’s voice was closer when she finally came out of her reverie, and she found herself blinking through the wetness gathering in her eyes. He was there within seconds, the concern in his gaze resonating through his touch. He knew without asking what she was thinking, and he cursed himself for being such a fool. Of course she wouldn’t want to leave here when her husband’s body was here. Through his own grief he’d managed to bring hers out too, and it had been him slamming down, chopping a piece of wood which had done it. Just the mere act of holding the axe above his head had been a reminder of that night...and she had lost just as much as he had, if not more.

 

“I’m sorry,” he all but whispered as he slipped an arm around her, tugging her in tighter towards him. “I didn’t…think...I...”

 

“It’s okay…”

 

“No it’s not okay,” he told her, his voice hoarse with unshed tears. “I’ve been so caught up…”

 

“You just lost your son,” she spoke so softly, her words disappearing into his chest. She couldn’t take this anymore...she missed the feel of having someone’s arms around her; someone to offer comfort. She missed her family...she missed Glenn...she missed everything about how their lives had used to be before Negan had come and destroyed it all.

 

“And you lost your husband,” Rick’s soft tones vibrated through her body when he tugged her in closer and wrapped both arms protectively around her.

 

“We’ve _all_ lost, Rick…” the ripples in her voice caused him to tug her closer. She had always been so strong, but even the strongest person had their breaking point.

 

“I know,” he whispered, his breath fanning the soft strands of her hair. “But it’s up to us to make sure our family doesn’t lose any more.”

 

“Yes…”

 

“I can’t speak for Daryl or Carol, but me and Michonne will stay for as long as you need us,” he told her softly, his eyes looking over her head to fall on the lines of graves behind them. He’d been such a fool to accuse all of them of plotting against him.

 

In answer, Maggie wrapped her arms around his waist, holding onto him a little tighter before she slowly started to disengage, stepping out of his embrace.

 

“Thank you,” she told him, her gaze following his to linger over the mound of earth where her beloved Glenn was buried. “It’s hard for me...to leave him…”

 

“Maggie…”

 

“No,” she stopped him, turning her gaze back to him. “He’s the only one I have close...my dad _is_...nowhere...and _Beth_...we’re all split.”

 

“I know,” he began, trying to keep his words soft as he spoke. “We’re all in different places, but since Carl...I’ve begun to understand we’re never really apart, not in the way that matters.”

 

Maggie’s eyes misted with tears, but she didn’t attempt to stop them this time. Nodding her head slightly she swallowed at the lump in her throat and offered him a watery smile. “You sound like Glenn.”

 

“Yeah?” he asked, obviously moved by her comparison .

 

“Yeah,” she told him, smiling despite the tears coursing wet tracks over her face. “I know he wouldn’t want me to live like this.”

 

“He was a good man,” Rick smiled, the Korean man’s face flashing into his mind. “I think he would want all of us living together and building a future for our children.”

 

“I think so too.”

 

Rick eyed her for a few moments before he stepped towards her again to slip an arm loosely around her shoulders, maneuvering her away from the wall and the activities going on around them. Glancing back over his shoulder, he waved to one of the men standing on the makeshift scaffolding before guiding her away.

 

“Come on,” he muttered, his warm smile causing her to relax against him. “Let’s go and find the others. I think I owe Michonne and Carol an apology after the way I behaved this morning.”

 

“I think they understand more than you realise,” she told him softly as they began to walk. “We’ve all been separated for far too long.”

 

“Yeah,” he sighed. “But it’s time to put an end to that right now, don’t you think?”

 

Maggie glanced up at him, her eyes catching the hopeful look he was casting her way. Nodding her head, she couldn’t help but return his smile. “ _Yes_...I do.”

 

000

 

When Daryl led Carol inside the main house, the last thing he was expecting was Rick’s little girl barrelling towards him. Her giggles squealed out when she slammed into him, wrapping her arms around his legs. Daryl glanced across at Carol apologetically before he bent to scoop the little girl up in his arms and settled her onto his hip.

 

“Hey,” he grinned when she wrapped her little arms around his neck. “What’re ya runnin’ for, sweetheart?”

 

“There you are,” Michonne chuckled when she came out of the kitchen, holding up her hands as if to tickle the little girl.

 

Judith squealed with delight, wriggling against Daryl as she clung on to him. “Nooo...momma…”

 

“Are you being a bad mommy again, Michonne?” Carol asked, her eyes growing wider when she saw how her friend was positively glowing. Turning to Judith, Carol tapped her wrist, smiling at the little girl when she was rewarded with a toothy grin. “Is mommy chasing you, honey?”

 

Judith’s eyes grew wide as she nodded her head dramatically before burying her face into Daryl’s shirt once more.

 

“Maybe I wouldn’t need to chase her if she ate her dinner,” Michonne mock scolded.

 

_“What?”_ Carol gasped, over exaggerating her surprise for Judith’s benefit. “Oh Judith, you have to eat your food, baby...how are you going to grow up big and strong like your Uncle Daryl if you don’t eat?”

 

Judith shook her head against Daryl’s shoulder before giggling uncontrollably when Carol reached across to tickle her. Shaking her head in amusement, Carol withdrew her hand and stepped back, indicating for Daryl to follow her and Michonne back into the kitchen.

 

When they reached the counter and the discarded plate of mashed potatoes and salad, Carol could see why Judith had refused to eat it. She’d had the same kind of reactions from Sophia when she’d been adamant she hadn’t wanted to try anything new...but the difference now was they couldn’t be choosy in what food they managed to eat.

 

“Okay,” she muttered, her mind already thinking of things she could make, she spotted some flour and a few half jars of herbs and moved towards them. “Okay...you two can keep Judith occupied while I fix us all something for dinner.”

 

“Carol, you don’t have to do that,” Michonne started only to be silenced when Carol turned and gave her a look that told her she should just do as she was told and leave the kitchen.

 

“We’d better leave,” Daryl muttered in a conspiring whisper. “She gets kinda cranky when she’s cookin’.”

 

“ _I_ heard that!”

 

“Was supposed to,” he grinned, moving towards her to drop a kiss against her temple before he turned around and followed Michonne out of the room.

 

Carol shook her head, grinning to herself when they had all vacated the kitchen to leave her alone. She’d missed this, she realised suddenly when she got to work on turning the cold mashed potato still in the pan into something far tastier than just mash and salad. Looking over her shoulder, she half expected to see Daryl hovering in the doorway when she retrieved some chopping boards from one of the cupboards and the sharpest knife she could find.

 

This, to her was pure bliss...something she had _always_ been good at before the turn. Even though at times back in Alexandria, she’d felt a little disheartened when she’d been looked upon to cook for her whole family, as if the kitchen had been the only place she’d been needed. Those times had often been some of the hardest, and she’d known back then, if she’d stayed in Alexandria wearing her false smiles, she would have lost herself completely in the mundane process of gradually reverting back to Carol of the past. Housewife...cook...and general mender of all things, all of the things she’d _used_ to be..

 

Shaking off the bitterness of those memories, she focused on the task at hand. No, she wouldn’t become just the woman who could cook a decent meal, she was so much more than that now...something she knew she didn’t have to prove anymore. Not now...not ever again…

 

000

 

By the time Rick and Maggie returned to the main house, the smells from the kitchen filtered into the hall. Closing the door behind him, Rick followed Maggie into the kitchen where he saw the last remaining members of his family, seated around the large kitchen table.

 

“What’s this?” He asked with a wide smile when he saw Judith cramming another forkful of food into her mouth.

 

“This,” Michonne grinned, her hand waving towards Carol and their daughter proudly. “Is Judith eating some of her aunt Carol’s potato cakes.”

 

“Potato cakes huh?” Rick asked incredulously, shaking his head in wonder.

 

“Daddy…” Judith bounced in her chair and picked some of her potato up between her fingers and held it out to him.

 

For a moment Rick just stood there while everyone else ate happily, the clatter of cutlery against the plates a welcome reminder of how mealtimes had used to be. Stepping forward, he bent to take the food from Judith’s fingers and popped it into his mouth before quirking an eyebrow in surprise.

 

“Good, ain’t it?” Daryl grinned proudly when his gaze lingered over Carol while she spoke in quiet tones to the other two women, seated between her and Judith.

 

“Hmmm,” Rick nodded, smiling when he caught Michonne’s eye, only then noticing there was an empty chair beside her at the table.

 

“There’s a plate for you on the stove,” Carol told him, gesturing towards the large oven. “And some extras for anyone else who wants them.”

 

Nodding gratefully, Rick moved across to the stove to retrieve a plate and then to the table to take his place beside Michonne. For a moment he just watched them, his family conversing in happy tones and smiles around the table. It was then he realised in that one moment how he had been wrong to want to leave here so quickly. Daryl had been right when he said the girls wanted them to stay together for a while. Rick had been so blinded with grief, he hadn’t wanted to see how much they all needed this. As he lifted his fork to impale a piece of his food, he felt Michonne’s hand come to rest on his knee beneath the table, and he knew...Carl’s legacy hadn’t been about rushing to build a home for all of them to live as one...it had been about this…their family and being together...just how it always should be from this day forward...together.

tbc


	21. Chapter 21

Carol led Daryl by the hand as she opened the door to the room where Maggie had stored their child’s crib. Pushing the door open, she took a step over the threshold, tugging him in behind her. Her eyes focused on the wooden crib, once again finding herself drawn to the beautiful carvings of butterflies and flowers.

 

“Look,” she gushed as she pulled him with her towards it. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

 

Releasing her hand, Daryl moved closer; his fingertips reaching out to follow the lines in the polished wood. He traced along the grooves, trying to imagine his baby lying inside.

 

“Maggie’s givin’ us this?” he asked softly, lifting his gaze back to hers. “But she’ll be needin’ one of these, too…”

 

“She has a crib already set up in her room,” Carol told him with a warm smile, leaning into his side. “She saved this one for us.”

 

“Yeah?” he asked her, his lips widening into a smile.

 

“Yes,” she chuckled as she glanced back at the open door. With the others still in the kitchen at the other side of the house, Carol took a step backwards when thoughts of a carnal nature returned and seemed to soar through her body.

 

Daryl followed her gaze, knowing instantly what she had in mind. He could read her so easily now. They were so in-tune with each other, he could already feel the spark of arousal settle in his groin when she made her way towards the door to push it closed. She watched him, meeting his heated gaze as she turned the key in the lock before turning back around to press her back up against the door.

 

“We’re away from the others,” she told him with a sultry smile. “Pretty romantic... _us_ , here…”

 

“Yeah…” he grinned, taking a step closer, and then another until he was standing toe to toe with her. Leaning closer, he placed his hands at either side of her head, his palms flat against the door. Dipping his head, he hovered over her lips, his breath mingling with hers as his gravelled voice lowered enticingly. “Wanna screw around?”

 

That was all it took for Carol to close the gap between them to seal her mouth to his. Within seconds her arms were around his waist, pulling his body closer towards her until she could feel the evidence of his arousal bumping against her protruding stomach. She needed to feel him, as every part of her body seemed to come alive at his touch.

 

Daryl ran his tongue over her bottom lip before dipping inside her mouth. She met his tongue with eager sweeps, a moan rumbling through her when he increased the pressure. Within moments his hands were tugging at her shirt, lifting the material away from her body so he could push his palms underneath. Carol tore her mouth from his, gasping for breath as she tilted her head backwards, relishing in the feeling of his hands closing over her breasts.

 

Slipping her hands from his waist, she criss-crossed her arms and grabbed the edges of her shirt, tugging it upwards, and off of her body before tossing it onto the floor. She kept her gaze focused on his as she reached around her back, collecting another kiss from him while she unclasped her bra, allowing the lacy fabric to grow slack. Daryl’s breath caught in his throat when his eyes lowered. He was transfixed by her beauty, caught up in her before he suddenly realised his hands were the only thing keeping the lace over the swell of her breasts. He released the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and waited for his brain to catch up. When his fingers began to move, his gaze flitted back up to hers as he slowly teased the thin lace away from her soft breasts, every inch revealing more of her creamy skin. Carol’s eyes slipped closed when his nimble fingers drifted across to the thin straps, sliding each one enticingly lower down her arms until it fell to the floor at their feet.

 

Her eyes snapped open as she smashed her mouth to his, kissing him with near desperation as she slowly maneuvered them around to push him backwards against the wooden surface. Her hands moved over his shirt clad chest, her fingers closing over the buttons, popping each one open until his shirt hung from his shoulders. Breaking the kiss, Carol’s gaze dropped lower, lingering over his bare chest...following the line of dark hair which trailed all the way down to his abdomen, before settling over the bulge protruding from his jeans. The sight of his arousal brought a surge of heat through her body, feeling the undeniable throb of her own desire. Her core ached with need when his fingers closed around her nipples, squeezing the soft flesh while he slowly started to move her backwards.

 

She was vaguely aware of the unmade bed which was pushed into the corner of the room, and allowed him to guide her backwards until her calves bumped against the edge of the mattress. She lowered herself onto the bed, taking him partway down with her. Reaching for him, she had every intention of pulling his mouth to hers, but when he sank to his knees in the open V between her thighs, she felt her mouth grow dry when his fingers slipped from her breasts to travel enticingly lower, gliding over the swell of her rounded belly to settle over the button on her pants. Leaning forward, his mouth closed over a breast, sucking one rosy bud into his mouth, distracting her while he unfastened the button to ease her pants and underwear from her hips.

 

Carol gasped when one of his hands tugged her pants lower, before slipping his fingers inside and over her moist heat. He released her nipple with a soft pop, only to lower his mouth into the space between her breasts. Carol’s breath was coming out in laboured gulps as she allowed him to ease her backwards as he kissed his way over her stomach.

 

“Daryl,” she gasped out when he reached her open zip. When he lifted his head, she shifted herself up a little, watching him through hooded eyes as she helped him to ease the material down her thighs and over her knees before leaving her pants bunched around her boots. With her legs partly free, he pushed her knees wider, spreading her legs apart as he started to kiss his way up the inside of her thighs, higher and higher until he reached his intended target.

 

Carol’s eyes closed in pure bliss when his mouth closed over her heat. Leaning further backwards, she rested on her elbows on the mattress, gasping in stuttered breaths when his tongue swirled around her clit, causing her to come apart. She couldn’t seem to hold herself upright, and she fell backwards onto the bed, pushing herself further against his mouth. Within seconds she spread her arms out, both hands palm side down grasping for something to cling onto when she could feel her whole body start to vibrate. She was caught between white hot heat, pulsating through her core, spreading even further until Daryl’s mouth closed over her swollen nub, sucking gently until she became a quivering wreck, squirming and gasping beneath his tongue.

 

Daryl continued his erotic onslaught until she released a slow breath and reached for his head to thread her fingers through his hair. He released her with one last kiss before he turned his head and kissed her inner thigh.

 

“I want you…” she breathed, lifting her head to catch his eyes. “Inside...now…”

 

Pulling away, he felt her fingers slip from his hair and sat back on his heels. His cock pushed painfully against the zip on his jeans, his arousal aching with the sight of her open and ready for him. Reaching down, he unpopped his button and slid the zipper down, gasping in a breath when his erection sprang free. Carol lifted herself up until she was sitting on the bed before him. Her pants still held her ankles captive, but she couldn’t wait long enough to remove her boots and the clothing keeping her ankles tethered.

 

Their eyes met when she shifted forward, bending to capture his mouth in a heated kiss while one of her hands moved lower. Her fingers closed around his shaft, delighted in the groan which hummed through his lips. She slid her tongue over his, bumping against him before breaking the kiss with a soft gasp.

 

“Carol…” he managed before she shifted herself even further forward until her buttocks were practically all the way off the bed. “Wha…”

 

“Shhh,” she told him as she pressed her lips to his in a brief kiss, squeezing his cock once more, only to release him before maneuvering herself around until her back was facing him. She rested her elbows onto the mattress and glanced behind her. She knew he was apprehensive with this position, knowing how Ed had taken pleasure in degrading her at every opportunity, especially this way...but Daryl wasn’t Ed. He loved her and she trusted him. “It’s okay...I need you...please, Daryl…”

 

Swallowing hard, Daryl nodded slightly. Pushing his jeans lower down his thighs, he took his shaft in his hand and positioned himself behind her. With his free hand, he reached out to trace his fingers over one rounded buttock before his cock pushed against her wet centre.

 

“Ya sure?” he panted, searching for any sign she wasn’t comfortable making love this way. But when she lifted her backside higher in a bid to take him into her body, he eased himself forward, slowly sliding into her moist heat until he was fully sheathed inside her.

 

Carol moved first, rocking gently, urging him to move inside her. He was being so gentle, still so afraid to hurt her, but she didn’t want gentle, not right now. Before she could reach behind her to grasp his thigh, he surged into her, the friction causing her to release a soft moan. She matched his rhythm, pushing herself onto him until his instincts took over and he was thrusting into her, his soft groans matching hers. They moved together, faster and faster until Carol cried out when her inner walls quivered, clamping around him as the heated coil of pleasure burst through her groin. Her breath came out in soft gasps as she moved with him, following him until she could feel him lose control. His pace quickened and his fingers gripped hold of her thighs as he moved, faster and faster until his release erupted, surging into her as he rode out his orgasm while holding onto her for dear life.

 

His heart was pounding in his ears when he slowly eased out of her and tugged his jeans back up his thighs, before fastening them closed. Reaching down to her, his fingertips skimmed over her spine as he helped her to stand. He watched in complete awe as she cleaned herself up with some tissues from a handy box on the bedside table and then slipped her pants and underwear upwards, only averting his gaze to look for their pile of discarded clothes beside the door. He knew he should have gone to retrieve them as soon as he saw them, but she was just so darn beautiful. His gaze shifted back onto her, naked from the waist up. He regarded her with adoration, his eyes lingering over the swell of her breasts and then lower to her gently swollen belly. He knew he was staring, but he just couldn’t seem to tear his gaze away from her. She carried their child, a creation they’d made together, and he didn’t think he could have ever loved her more than he already did. She was everything to him... _everything_.

 

“Are you okay?” she asked softly when he seemed to be stuck in his daze. “Daryl?”

 

“Huh…” he mumbled, shaking himself out of his reverie as he took a step closer, returning to her aura with delicate ease. Within moments his arms closed around her, tugging her tightly against his chest. “I just…”

 

“I know,” she told him, her whisper disappearing into his chest. “I do too…”

 

They stayed together, wrapped around each other...both of them content in their own little world where nothing else existed but their love for each other…

 

000

 

 

When the two of them returned to the kitchen, their friends were all still seated around the table. Carol glanced across to Daryl, her beaming smile causing her cheeks to flush when she caught Michonne’s eyes...but it didn’t take her long to realise there was something wrong. It was Maggie’s chair scraping backwards which alerted them to a change in the conversation, and Carol found herself looking to Daryl for some kind of explanation, but he was just as confused as she was.

 

“Maggie?” Moving away from Daryl, Carol regarded her friend worriedly, looking for any signs of distress. “What’s wrong?”

 

“ _Haven’t you_ been _listening?_ ” Maggie screeched, tearing her eyes from her to cast a scathing glare in Rick’s direction. “How _could_ you?”

 

“Maggie…” Rick began to rise from his chair, holding his hand out in the way he often did when he tried to placate someone. “Look…”

 

“You told me _he_ was _dead_ ,” she growled. “You said you’d _ended_ it.”

 

“Maggie, don’t…” Michonne reached across the table to touch the other woman’s arm, but Maggie snatched it away before she could touch her. Looking down at Judith who was playing with some blocks on the floor, Michonne smiled at her reassuringly when Maggie pushed her chair all the way back to get to her feet.

 

“You _knew?_ ” Directing her anger towards Michonne, Maggie stepped away from the table and cast her eyes on all four of them, shaking her head from side to side in disbelief.

 

“What’s goin’ on?” Daryl asked, his eyes lingering on each family member in search of anything to indicate what was wrong.

 

“Why don’t you tell him, Rick?” Maggie spat angrily as she turned away from the table and stalked out of the room, slamming the door closed behind her.

 

Carol watched the closed door in stunned silence, unsure of what had just happened. Turning back to Rick and Michonne, she shook her head in confusion, but it was Daryl who broke the silence.

 

“Someone wanna tell us what the hell just happened?”

 

“Rick?” Carol asked, reaching out to lay her hand on Daryl’s shoulder when Rick remained silent. “Why is Maggie so upset? What happened?”

 

“It’s...about Negan,” Rick’s voice was barely a whisper as he spoke, his eyes closing in regret before he opened them again and looked to Michonne for support.

 

“He’s alive,” Michonne spoke softly, her eyes darting from the man she loved to the couple who were watching them in stunned silence.

 

“But…” Carol shook her head, unable to comprehend what she was hearing. “What do you mean he’s alive? You killed him...you told us you killed him…”

 

“What the _fuck_ do ya mean, Rick?” Daryl asked, his voice dipping lower as he glared at the man he’d called brother so many times since this whole nightmare had begun. “Is he dead or ain’t he?”

 

“No…” Swallowing hard, Rick lifted his eyes to look at the man before him and shook his head. “He’s alive…”

 

“ _FUCK_ you say?”

 

“But he’s chained up,” Rick offered, as if the fact he was imprisoned somehow made it right. “Daryl…”

 

“Ya saw what that _asshole_ did to me, to Glenn, to Abe... _Sasha_...and _you_ let him _live?_ ” Stepping backwards, Daryl’s eyes shone with betrayal. “Fuck…”

 

“Look, Daryl…” Rick tried again as he got to his feet. “I kept him alive as a symbol to show our people...a reminder of how things used to be before all of this…”

 

“That wasn’t _your_ damn decision to make,” Daryl growled, torn between anger and treachery. “That fucker beat Abe and Glenn to death right before your eyes. Did ya just forget that part?”

 

“Of course, I didn’t…” getting to his feet, Rick pushed his chair back and took a step towards him, but Daryl moved away from him. “Daryl…”

 

“Nah...ya don’t get to decide that fucker stays alive after what he did.” Shaking his head, Daryl turned towards the woman beside him, taking comfort in the feel of her hand on his arm. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. After everything they’d been through…

 

“Daryl…”

 

“If he’d killed ‘Chonne, right in front of ya...if he’d taken Carl instead of me...would ya still have let him live?” Shaking Carol’s hand off, Daryl loomed dangerously closer to the other man, glaring at him, his eyes boring into his as he searched for the truth. “Would ya?”

 

Carol watched on helplessly, trying desperately to understand Rick’s reasons behind this devastating secret. All of them had looked to him for leadership when he’d taken unofficial control. He’d made some terrible mistakes over the years, some she was still trying to come to terms with herself. Looking towards Michonne - who had got up from her seat to scoop Judith up in her arms - she watched on silently when the other woman offered her a sorrowful glance before she left the room, taking the little girl with her.

 

The silence in the room was deafening. Rick still hadn’t answered Daryl’s question. Instead he was looking towards Carol, desperately needing her to understand, but she couldn’t do it. His decision to cast her out on her own still burned. He’d never outright apologised for what he’d done to her, and she’d thought she’d been over it...but now…

 

“ _Fuck_ this _shit_ ,” Daryl growled as he turned around, shaking off Carol’s concern when he stalked towards the door, yanking it open only to slam it closed behind him when he left the room.

 

Carol watched the closed door. She knew how Daryl worked. He needed to cool off and get his head around what he’d just discovered. She just hoped he could come back from Rick’s betrayal this time.

 

“Carol…” Rick’s soft voice brought her attention back onto him, and she kept her eyes focused on him when he took a shaky step forward. “Please...I had to do it…”

 

“I’m sorry...which part?” Carol asked him then, the spark in her eyes igniting in anger when she found herself fighting to forgive him this time. “For what you did to me? Or for allowing the man who murdered so many of our own, live?”

 

“I…”

 

“Do you know what he did to Daryl?” She asked him, keeping her voice even as she spoke. “ _Do_ you?”

 

“Only what he told me.” Rick lowered his eyes to the floor. “But I had to keep Negan alive to show everyone he’s being punished for what he did.”

 

“I know you thought you were right with what you did,” Carol told him, even though she still couldn’t understand his reasoning. “Just like throwing me out of the prison.”

 

Rick’s eyes lifted, his sorrowful gaze finding hers in an instant. “Carol…”

 

“It’s over, Rick. I’m starting a new life with the man I love. _My_ loyalties are to _him_.” Moving towards the door, Carol pulled it open and glanced back at him. “But you need to understand how your decisions can crush other people. Just because you think you’re right, doesn’t make it so.”

 

“I _was_ right, Carol…”

 

“You know, you didn’t answer Daryl’s question,” Carol muttered, knowing the chances of him giving anyone the answers probably would never happen. “But that’s because all of us know the answer... _don’t_ we?”

 

“Carol...please. What I did,” Rick started, imploring her to understand, but he stopped in his tracks when she offered him a knowing glare.

 

“You and yours, Rick,” she told him simply. “That’s how it’s always been for you, right?”

 

_“No…”_

 

“I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to make this right with Maggie and Daryl, even if you went back now and killed Negan right in front of them. What you did was outright betrayal...you promised Maggie you’d kill him for what he did to Glenn. You need to understand why she’s so upset.”

 

“I do understand,” he implored. “And I’ll talk to them…”

 

“Don’t wait too long Rick,” she told him on a sigh as she stepped over the threshold and out into the hall. “Things have a way of festering if they’re left unsaid...after all, I should know, shouldn’t I?”

 

And then she was gone, leaving Rick and his explanations behind her…

 

000

 

Carol’s search found Daryl standing over their child’s crib. His fingers trailed along the wooden carving, deep in thought.

 

“I thought I’d find you here,” she spoke softly when she made her way towards him, embracing him from behind. “Are you okay?”

 

“Just wanna get outta here and head back home,” he all but whispered, his hands settling on the wooden crib. “Put all this shit behind us.”

 

Carol tightened her hold as she turned her face to place a kiss onto his shoulder. “Me, too…”

 

“What Rick did…”

 

“He did what he thought was right,” she told him on a sigh when his shoulders slumped forward. “Just how all of us have in the past...I’ve made some really bad decisions, too...one of them hurt you, just as one of yours hurt me. But we got through it.”

 

“He should have told us. He should have made it right, but he didn’t. He lied right to our faces. He won’t even tell us where he’s got Negan locked up.”

 

“Would it make a difference if I’d told you?” Rick’s voice broke into the room, his guilt-roughened tones causing Daryl to stand up a little straighter.

 

Carol gave Daryl one more squeeze, tightening her arms a little before she released him and turned to face Rick. Reaching out to the man beside her, her fingertips skimmed Daryl’s arm, hoping she could calm him with her touch. He was still so hurt and angry, but she knew him well enough to know he would get over this.

 

“I talked to Maggie,” Rick told him softly when he moved further into the room. “I told her I was sorry for not killing Negan like I told her I would...but death would have been too good for him after what he did.” Glancing at Carol, Rick swallowed hard when Daryl still hadn’t turned around to face him. “How he killed Abe...how he killed Glenn...what he did to you, and how he made our lives a living hell. Killing him right then wouldn’t have been justice for everything he did.”

 

“Shoulda told us.”

 

“I know,” Rick sighed, shaking his head in defeat. “I’m sorry I didn’t...but I thought it was better for you and Maggie this way.”

 

Daryl whirled around to face him, his eyes wide and brimming with so much hurt. “You had no right to keep it from us... _that_ asshole…”

 

“You’re right,” Rick told him, fighting through the tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry...I should have told you.”

 

Daryl reached out to Carol, blindly taking her hand in his as he met his brother’s watery gaze. Things weren’t right between them, not right now, but for the moment it had to be enough. Tightening Carol’s hand in his, Daryl started to move, taking her with him.

 

“Daryl…” Rick’s voice stopped them before they reached the door, and Daryl turned slightly to look at him expectantly. “Are we okay?”

 

Shrugging his shoulders, Daryl held Rick’s gaze before he spoke, keeping his voice low. “Gotta be...if we’re gonna make this work...right?”

 

Nodding his head, Rick watched them leave before he released the breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. Daryl was angry, he could see it so clearly and he knew he had his work cut out for him when it came to the man he regarded as his brother. He had a feeling things were going to be strained for a while. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start...he only hoped they would all get through this.

 

tbc


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for the kudos and comments. I really appreciate every single one.
> 
> Huge thanks to my beta's BettyBubble and CharlotteAshmore

Later that evening, the air around Rick and Maggie was still understandably strained, but Maggie was talking to him again, albeit in stilted sentences. Rick’s revelation had torn a hole through the light camaraderie they had all enjoyed since they’d come back together again. There were still so many unanswered questions, more than could be answered tonight...but even Rick knew he couldn’t just come away from this with just a loose apology this time. He was going to have to go a long way to regain the trust of not just Maggie, but Daryl too.

 

Rick spent most of the evening trying to desperately repair the damage his decision had caused. In his heart he knew he had done the right thing by keeping Negan alive. In time he hoped the two people who had been hurt by this the most, would eventually forgive him. He felt Michonne’s hand close around his fingers, squeezing the digits gently when she saw how he kept his focus on the man he’d thought of as his brother since this whole nightmare had begun. The bond they’d shared since those early days at the farm was still there; he could feel it...but Daryl wouldn’t look at him.

 

Daryl had remained beside Carol since they had all returned to the living area once more. Michonne had built a fire inside the large fireplace, and watched in satisfaction when the soft crackles of burning wood sent a mixture of warmth and familiarity into the room. She glanced across at Carol who she could see was watching the man beside her. Worry creased her forehead, but she didn’t push him. Instead she sat close to him, fiercely ready to protect him against everything which could hurt him.

 

Daryl chose to shut himself away from the quiet conversation, focusing instead on trying to quash the nightmares swirling around inside his head. Despite her best efforts, Carol hadn’t been able to pull him out of his mood. She knew Rick’s news had hit him hard, and no matter how much the former sheriff tried to repair the damage he’d caused, Daryl just wasn’t ready to resume the easy relationship they had shared. The silence was becoming deafening, so she did the only thing she could, and got to her feet. She knew all eyes were on her, but she didn’t care this time. Holding out her hand, she smiled reassuringly at the man she loved, wiggling her fingers slightly until he shifted forwards and wrapped his hand around hers. Without a backwards glance, Carol lead him towards the doorway, bidding a soft goodnight to the others before leading Daryl out of the room..

 

Neither spoke as she tugged him gently. He followed her blindly, willingly walking behind her until she stopped outside the room which had become their bedroom for the second night here. Carol squeezed his fingers before pushing the door open, and stepped over the threshold of their own private sanctuary.

 

“I know you’re not tired,” she told him, keeping her voice soft as she spoke. “But, I know you didn’t want to be downstairs with them anymore.”

 

Daryl glanced sideways, wondering how she had gotten to know him so well. She could read him so easily, and he knew there wasn’t anything he could hide from her. He hadn’t even been able to hide his feelings from her before they’d become intimate and so completely joined...now, she just instinctively knew what was going on inside his head. The notion should have scared him, but to his complete surprise, it didn't. Instead he drew comfort from her, relishing her presence. He realised she was watching him, knowing the worry in her gaze was because he’d failed to utter a single word. Her eyes were like whirlpools of tenderness, reaching out to all of those dark places inside him. Clasping hold of her hand, he offered her what he hoped was an accepting smile...but when she squeezed his fingers in return, all he could do was step closer and fall into her embrace.

 

“It’s going to be okay,” she whispered softly as she tugged him tighter. “ _We’re_ going to be okay…”

 

Daryl nodded against her, lowering his face to rest his forehead onto her shoulder. He couldn’t find any words right now, so instead he held on tight and took the comfort she was pouring into him. When his knees began to buckle, she held him up, guiding him towards the bed before easing him down to sit on the edge of the mattress. He released her instantly, unashamed by the soft whimpers escaping his lips when she moved away from his grasp. She offered him a tender smile as she moved to unfold the large comforter on the end of the bed. The billowing draft embraced his face when Carol held onto the corners of the comforter and tossed it open. The soft flutter of material fell flat onto the bed, covering the mattress with a glaring floral pattern. He watched on wordlessly while she worked, her palms flattening the comforter until she was satisfied they both have even coverage.

 

His eyes drank in her every movement, loving how he felt in her presence. He could hardly remember his early years, and it was both a curse and a blessing. This woman was everything he’d been searching for without even realising it. His flashlight in the darkness...his reason for getting through each day. Carol stood back from the bed and turned her attention towards him, sinking to her knees before him as she reached out to his boots. Lifting her eyes to his, she smiled up at him when she tugged his boots and socks off his feet one by one, tossing them behind her, not looking where they landed.

 

“I’m going to use the bathroom,” she told him with a gentle smile when she slowly got to her feet. “Get undressed; I’ll be right back.”

 

Daryl nodded when she moved towards the door, his gaze following her even when she stepped out into the hall. He didn’t know how he had ever lived his life without her before this. He felt like he hadn’t even been alive before she’d come into his life, changing him with her constant devotion. He hadn’t ever loved anyone like he did her, ever. Shaking his head, he couldn’t stop the half smile which lifted his lips when he thought of how Merle would have taken great pleasure in ragging him if he were still alive. But he was finally happy for the very first time in his whole damn life...and he was enjoying every moment.

 

Lifting his arms, he tugged his shirt up and over his head, dropping it to the floor beside the bed before popping open the button on his jeans and shucking the worn material over his hips and thighs, shifting his ass off the bed until the garment lay in a heap with his shirt. His eyes lingered over the clothing pile for a few moments, the sight of them bringing a flurry of memories which he really wanted to forget. He couldn’t seem to leave those feelings of complete shame and hopelessness behind him...even though he knew he wasn’t in a dark cold cell this time. He still wasn’t totally comfortable with being like this, even with a pair of cotton boxers covering him...but he was trying so hard to be the man Carol needed him to be. Taking a breath, he eased himself backwards, laying his head onto the soft pillow before pulling the comforter up and over his body until it was tucked beneath his chin. When the bedroom door opened again to reveal the woman he loved, he released a relieved breath, thankful to have her back within his presence again.

 

When she came around the bed, perching on the edge of the mattress to remove her boots, she glanced behind her to offer him an adoring smile. She knew he was lost in his own thoughts, even when he tried to tell her he wasn’t. It was one of those things she loved most about him; his quiet vulnerability. Reaching behind her, she reached out to him, clasping his offered hand. Their eyes met and held, meeting each other in the semi darkness before she released him to quickly shed her clothes and climb into the bed beside him.

 

“ _Fuck_ ,” he hissed when her cold toes came into contact with his shins. “ _Jeeze_...yer like a fuckin’ ice block!”

 

Carol only moved in closer, chuckling softly when he shivered as she forced her foot between his warm ankles, instantly feeling the burning heat she stole from his body. Shuffling even closer, she smiled when he turned onto his side to face her, his arms snaking out to pull her against him. Snuggling flush to his body , she wrapped one arm around his waist and tucked her head beneath his chin, relishing the feel of skin on skin. The heat from his body seeped into hers, relaxing her enough to feel herself falling. No matter how much she tried, the combination of his closeness and the soft circles his fingertips drew over her skin, caused her eyes to close...and she drifted into a dreamless sleep, wrapped within his arms.

 

000

 

Carol had moved during the night, rolling from his arms and onto her back. Daryl laid beside her, tucked against her side while he fought to banish the memories of his imprisonment out of his mind. He was trying so hard to put the past behind him, but knowing the man behind his torture was still alive, made every one of those painful memories return to the forefront of his mind. Yes, Negan was chained and imprisoned in a dark cell somewhere, but he was still alive and breathing...which was more than could be said for the people he’d killed. All it would take was for someone to believe his bullshit of how he was a saviour; a liberator of all things bad...Just one person could be persuaded to let him out of the hole he was in, and then he’d be back, bigger and more of an asshoe than he’d been before. Despite Rick’s assurances, just knowing Negan was still out there brought a mixture of anxiety and fury to the fore, those memories clinging onto him like some kind of vice

 

Daryl’s eyes sprang open in the darkness, gasping in a deep breath when he was bombarded with the same tormenting images. No matter how many times he thought he could erase the memories of his time in depraved captivity; the anger still burned within him to keep the hatred alive. Negan’s face kept transforming into an image of his daddy...another bastard who’d made his life a living hell every damn day. The only saving grace was his daddy was dead. The fucker couldn’t come back to hurt him anymore...but Negan…he was still there, taunting him with that damn bat every time he closed his eyes.

 

The nightmares had seemed to ease off after the war had been over. Negan had been gone, as far as he’d been aware...and his rotting dead corpse could have been in some ditch for all he’d cared; the fucker had been dead...but now he knew otherwise, the terrors which had plagued him since his escape from Negan’s prison, had returned, more potent than before.

 

“Hey…” Carol’s sleepy voice eased its way through his nightmare, and he turned his head to look at her. The room was bathed in darkness and he could just see the faint highlight of her face in the moonlight.

 

“Hey,” he mumbled softly, turning onto his side to wrap himself fully around her. “S’posed to be sleepin’.”

 

“Hmmm…” she smiled, caught between the haze of sleep. “So are you.”

 

“Don’t matter none ‘bout me. Shouldn’t be worried about my sorry ass,” he told her, his voice lowered to a low whisper as his lips nuzzled her temple. “I ain’t the one who’s pregnant.”

 

His voice brought her eyes fully open and she turned her head to the side to try and see him through the darkness. There was something about him; something she couldn’t quite put her finger on, but he sounded so...distant. Now fully awake, Carol shuffled onto her side, turning so they were face to face.

 

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” she asked him in a whisper, the worry in her voice filtering through. “Are you thinking about what happened today?”

 

“Carol…” He sighed, hoping she would drop it and let it be, but he knew she was always worrying about him either way. He didn’t want to do this now. He wasn’t sure he would ever want to talk about it..

 

“Daryl, don’t…” she scolded softly, reaching out to tug him closer. “I love you; don’t shut me out.”

 

Whatever protests Daryl was ready to say seemed to die on his lips with her whispered words. Every time she spoke the soft endearments...she made him better. All the bitterness he’d been holding onto for most of his life seemed to just melt away...and he knew without a doubt, he would go through all of the pain all over again if it meant he would have her in his life. Shuffling closer, he nudged his knee between both of hers and nestled close to her body.

 

“Gonna be fine,” he told her as he bumped his nose against hers. “Don’t need anythin’ else...as long as I have you here with me, I don’t care whatever shit goes on out there.”

 

Carol’s eyes flooded with tears, but she blinked them away. For a man of very little words, he could say some of the most wonderful, poignant things without even trying. Closing the tiny gap between them, she pressed her lips to his in a soft, brief kiss before pulling back to burrow her face beneath his chin.

 

“You’ll always have me,” she told him on a sigh, sealing her promise with a nuzzling kiss over his throat. Reaching for his hand, she brought it from her hip to lay his palm over her stomach, holding it over their unborn child. “Always have both of us…”

 

“That’s all I need,” Daryl told her, his words disappearing into her hair. “Three of us are gonna be okay.”

 

“We are,” she smiled, releasing his hand over her stomach so she could wrap an arm around his waist, bringing their bodies closer. “Tomorrow we’ll head home, and whatever happens after, we’ll deal with it.”

 

Daryl closed his eyes with her words, bringing his arm up to hold her tighter. She spoke with such conviction that he believed her. Hilltop held far too many memories, most of them bad ones. Negan and the Saviours had been here...hell, a lot of the ones who’d jeered at him while he’d been paraded around like an animal, now lived here. The kingdom was different. Despite Ezekiel living in some kind of fantasy world, he was a decent man. The Kingdom was safe...and it was the only place he’d felt was home...and no matter what kind of world Rick was determined to build to honour Carl, The Kingdom would always be a safe haven for him and Carol to return.

 

“Close yer eyes,” he chuckled, already feeling himself settling against her. “Gonna be a long journey tomorrow with Rick and ‘Chonne.”

 

Nodding against him, Carol tightened her hold around him, holding him a little closer. He was the best man she’d ever known, and she loved him more than she’d ever thought she could love anyone again.

 

“It’s okay to be angry with them,” she whispered reassuringly. “You can be angry for as long as you need to be.”

 

“I know…”

 

“What Rick did...what he always does…” her voice trailed away as she tried to find the right words. “It doesn’t have to stay with you anymore...none of the bad things we’ve gone through have any place with us anymore.”

 

_“Wish…”_ he swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “I wish it was that simple…”

 

“In time, it will be,” she promised as she shifted against him to lift her head up until her face was level with his. She leaned closer, feeling his breath on her lips. “Close your eyes... _sleep_...I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

 

Daryl could feel the well of emotion already building, swelling inside his chest. Breaching the tiny space between them, he sealed his lips to hers, kissing her in a soft lingering kiss which held so much more than any words. When he broke the kiss and panted heavily against her mouth, he knew with her by his side, he could do anything. Relaxing against her, he settled his body, releasing his taut muscles as he pulled her tighter against him.

 

“ _Love_ ya…” he muttered softly, the words muffled against the soft skin at the base of her throat. “ _Always_ love ya…”

 

“Love you too,” she whispered back to him, her lips widening into a smile. “Now go to sleep...I’ll be here when you wake up.”

 

000

 

The next morning, Rick was cautiously hopeful when Daryl entered the kitchen behind Carol. Maggie had already offered him a small nod in greeting, indicating she was at least on the way to somehow forgiving him. He would take anything at this point, even though in hindsight he wished he hadn’t said anything about Negan now. If only he’d kept his mouth shut... _if only_...but it was too late now. The damage had already been done and it was up to him to try and fix it.

 

“Daryl,” he spoke his brother’s name, keeping his voice soft as he urged the other man to respond. “Can we talk?”

 

He saw rather than heard Daryl’s response. The other man tensed immediately, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the edge of the counter. Carol stood beside him, her hand coming out to rub his shoulder while she tried to offer him some kind of comfort for the hurt rampaging around inside him. Rick watched their exchange quietly, waiting and hoping for Carol’s patient words to sink into the stoic hunter. So when Daryl’s fingers skimmed over hers on his arm and he turned around, Rick was surprised to find the other man’s intense eyes staring right at him.

 

“C’mon,” he groused out as he stepped away from Carol to make his way towards the door. “Ain’t got all _damn_ day.”

 

Rick was on his feet in seconds, nodding thankfully to Carol before he headed towards the door, hurriedly catching up with the man he hoped would forgive him.

 

As soon as they were outside, Daryl turned on him. His eyes were flared with fire, and the punch which landed in the middle of his chin sent Rick careering backwards and onto his ass.

 

“That’s for lyin’,” Daryl hissed, his fists clenched menacingly. “Did ya think Maggie or me would be okay with this? Huh?”

 

“No.” Getting to his feet, Ricked rubbed his hand over his aching jaw as he shook his head. “You have to believe me, Daryl. I know I said I’d killed him. I know I promised Maggie...after what he did to Glenn, but…”

 

“Ya ain’t right, Rick,” Daryl spat. “Not this time. And ya told yer woman to lie to us, too. Even after everythin’ _that_ asshole _did_.”

 

“He’ll never see the light of day. He…”

 

“Yeah, and what happens when the fucker gets free, huh?” Daryl asked, beginning to pace while he waved a hand around in the air. “What happens when he comes for us?”

 

“Daryl…”

 

“Take a look around you, Rick,” Daryl told him, gesturing to some of the people working in one of the vegetable patches. “Those fuckers over there were torturin’ people not so long ago. Hell, I can see at least three of ‘em who beat on me while I was locked up back there. Did ya think I’d just be _okay_ with it?”

 

“No, of course, I didn’t,” Rick protested, holding out a hand to try to appease the other man. “We all did stuff we shouldn’t have...I did things before all this… _things_ I regret...”

 

“Like throwing Carol out of the prison, ya mean?” Daryl asked, his voice hissing through his lips.

 

“ _She_ forgave me,” Rick protested, shaking his head as he spoke. “But yeah, that’s one example of the wrong things I’ve done. I’m not proud of what I did, but it’s done. I can’t take it back…”

 

“So ya think I should just accept it and move on?” Daryl asked, his voice rising in irritation. “Just forget what that bastard did to me?”

 

“No, I…”

 

“Cuz I can’t, Rick...what the saviours did to me won’t leave. It’s there, right inside my head, comin’ back again and again, every _damn_ time I close my eyes. Ya think I can _just_ forget it?”

 

“What do you want me to do, Daryl?” Rick asked in exasperation, his voice halting the other man’s movements as Daryl turned his focus on him. “Kill him? Kill all of the people here? _Look_ at them, Daryl. Are they the same men you knew at the sanctuary?”

 

Daryl’s eyes flared with anger when he averted his gaze onto the men working in the field. They weren’t the same men anymore, not since Negan’s demise. The hatred they’d all displayed towards him had disappeared the moment they’d been free of the tyrant who’d led them...but it didn’t take away the fact they’d still done what they’d done. Shaking his head, he turned back towards Rick again. He knew the former sheriff was trying to make him see how much they’d all changed, but the hurt and betrayal was still inside him, swirling around in the guise of nightmares.

 

“Would ya be so easy to forgive if it had been _you_ in that cell? Or ‘Chonne?” Daryl asked when he fixed his eyes on Rick’s face. Not waiting for a reply, he held his hand up before Rick could speak, shaking his head in defiance. “I’ll work with ‘em, and I’ll play nice when I have to, _but_ if I see any of them assholes make a move towards _me_ or if one of ‘em even so much as looks at Carol the wrong way, I _swear_ I’ll kill ‘em...and then I’ll kill Negan. And there ain’t one damn thing ya can say or do to stop me.”

 

“Okay,” Rick nodded, relief flooding his senses. “That’s fair...and if that ever happens, I’ll be there with you to help.”

 

“Pfft,” Daryl scoffed, shaking Rick’s offer off as he turned away to move back towards the house.

 

“I mean it, Daryl,” Rick called after him, finally finding his feet to walk behind him. “If any of them were to ever try to go back to how it was, I’d kill them all. I won’t let them take what we’ve fought so hard to build.”

 

“So ya said already.” Daryl huffed, not looking back. “I believe ya…”

 

_“Daryl…”_ reaching out, Rick caught his arm, pulling him to a stop and half expecting another fist to his jaw for his efforts. “I really am sorry for lying to you, but I stand by what I did. It was the _right_ thing to do.”

 

“Yeah…” pulling his arm free, Daryl turned to offer the man before him a warning glare. “Let’s hope for your sake it don’t come back to bite ya in the ass.”

 

000

 

 

A couple of hours later, Daryl loaded the last of their things into their car while Carol bid farewell to Maggie. He knew the young widow was still feeling the sting of resentment towards Rick, just as much as he was. There was so much to process, but leaving The Hilltop to return to The Kingdom came as more of a relief, which surprised him. He glanced across to the other car, watching as Rick hovered by Michonne’s side while they waited for Maggie and Carol to say their goodbyes. 

 

“Are you going to be okay?” Carol asked softly as she rubbed a hand over Maggie’s arm. “I know you’re still upset about Rick’s outburst.”

 

“Yeah,” Maggie sighed, nodding slightly. “I’ll be okay...I just…”

 

“Hey...it doesn’t matter what anybody says to you honey, grief takes as long as it takes before you’re ready to move forward. But Daryl and me, we respect your decision to stay behind. I hope you know that.”

 

“I do,” Maggie told her with a sad smile. “I feel like it’s just been me and the baby for so long now...I think I’ve gotten used to being just us...and after yesterday...”

 

“Maggie…”Carol started, trying to find the right words to say. “Rick has always done things his way…”

 

“I know,” Maggie’s voice cut through Carol’s, silencing the words designed to placate her. “I know he thinks what he did with Negan was right...but I just can’t let it go or pretend it didn’t hurt.”

 

“Not killing Negan right away was a wrong move, but what’s done is done...don’t let it destroy you.” Carol kept her eyes focused on the younger woman as she spoke, hoping she could see some of the old spark which had seemed to return to Maggie’s eyes while they were all together. “Please don’t let Glenn’s memory be about anger...he was far too good a man to be remembered that way.”

 

Maggie lifted her eyes to her friend’s, knowing she couldn’t hide the sadness from her. Swallowing hard, she could already feel the lump in her throat, grief welling around her.

“I guess I kept things bottled up for a long time...but I should have yelled at Rick last night when he told us about Negan, but I waited...I let it eat at me until all I could see was hate.”

 

“It’s good to get it all out in the open,” Carol nodded. “Just try to remember how much we’ve all already lost since the farm.”

 

Nodding her head, Maggie stepped closer and welcomed Carol’s warm embrace. Throughout all of the heartache, they had both managed to find a way to move forward, away from the grief of the past.

 

“Okay,” Maggie whispered into her friends shoulder, taking comfort for a few more moments, before she slowly allowed her arms to fall away and pull back from Carol completely. “I will.”

 

“Good...now.” Wiping at her eyes, Carol offered the other woman a watery smile before she gestured towards the waiting cars. “We really have to go.”

 

“I’ll see you all soon,” Maggie promised, smiling through the tears glistening in her eyes. She stood back when both couples got into the vehicles, watching as the cars began to move, taking her last remaining family away from her. She kept her focus on each car, moving forward before the gates could close completely, watching until she couldn’t see the cars any longer...only turning away when the gates closed. Looking towards the graveyard, she smiled sadly when her eyes lingered over her husband’s grave before tearing her gaze away to make her way back inside the house.

tbc


	23. Chapter 23

Carol glanced across the seat at the man beside her. His eyes were fixed on the road ahead, but she could see his mouth twitching every few seconds. She’d gotten accustomed to his little quirks, and this particular one she knew so well. He was brooding about Rick’s betrayal; something she had done herself many times since her banishment. But Daryl was a brooder...he took things to heart and she just hoped she could ease him out of his mood this time.

 

“Hey…”

 

Her soft voice brought no response, which only worried her more. Reaching across the seat, Carol closed her fingers over Daryl’s knee, hoping her touch would bring him out of his silence. She missed him, which was ridiculous because he was right here beside her. She wasn’t used to his silence though; not like this. He had his quiet times, just like she did, but she could feel the anxious vibes coming from him in waves. Squeezing his knee, she slipped her fingers a little higher, resting over his thigh.

 

“‘M fine…” he muttered, his voice low and gravelled as he continued to eye the road. “Be back home soon.”

 

“Home?” she asked, wondering when he had made the Kingdom their permanent residence.

 

“Thought ya _wanted_ to stay at the Kingdom,” he muttered dubiously, turning to look at her briefly before returning his gaze onto the road.

 

“I don’t care where we live, Daryl,” she told him honestly, squeezing his thigh to solidify her words. “I just want to be wherever _you_ are.”

 

Daryl gulped visibly, and lowered his free hand down to cover hers on his thigh. He knew she was worried about him. _Hell_ , he was worried about _himself_ , too. He couldn’t shake the sombre feeling which had seemed to envelope him since Rick’s revelation about Negan. He wanted to push it back and regain the peace he’d found by Carol’s side, but it clung to him like a dark cloud.

 

“Me an’ you,” he started, not really sure where he was going with this. “I…”

 

“I know, Daryl,” she told him, smiling despite the tears gathering in her eyes. “As long as we’re together, nothing else matters. You, me and the baby...we’re going to survive this life.”

 

Daryl nodded and squeezed her fingers beneath his own. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down when he tried to keep his emotions in check, but he’d never been able to keep anything from her before.

 

“Yeah,” he managed to say before every single feeling bombarded him all at once. Taking his eyes off the road once more, he glanced across at her and offered her his best smile. He still couldn’t fathom how he had gotten so lucky to have her in his life.

 

“Whatever Rick says or does from now on,” she told him with conviction, “it won’t affect us or how we feel about each other.”

 

“Damn right it won’t,” he agreed with a nod, his eyes sparkling with love as he averted his gaze forward again. “Soon as we get home, I’m gonna go see Zeke about a bigger place for us. Not enough space for us in that small room no more, especially when we bring the crib from Maggie’s.”

 

Carol couldn’t help but smile at his words. He always managed to make things feel so much better without even trying. As she watched him now, his eyes focused on the road ahead, knowing without a doubt they would be okay, and so would he. Even after Rick’s actions, nothing was going to stop them from living this time.

 

“We’ll talk to him when we get home,” she nodded in agreement. They couldn’t fit the crib into the room they shared. She was ready to live a real life now, with the man she loved. She didn’t want to just live in a small room either. She wanted a real home with walls and windows. A place where she could cook a meal for just them, and where they could raise their child in a place which was purely theirs. But with those thoughts, the nagging doubts of Rick wouldn’t leave her mind. She worried about his effect on the man beside her.

 

“What?” he asked when she grew quiet, and he glanced across at her briefly. “I can hear ya thinkin’.”

 

Carol was silent for a few moments while she thought of the right words. After everything...after the betrayal and the upsets, Rick was still family...and they couldn’t just part ways because of his poor judgements.

 

“Do you think Rick and Michonne will stay?” she asked after a few moments, watching him carefully for his reaction. “At the Kingdom, I mean.”

 

“Nah, not if he wants to start on building a bigger community.”

 

“It’s good to think there could be some kind of future for all of us now,” she offered gently. “After everything we’ve all been through...it’ll be good to have a place to call home again.”

 

“Yeah,” he muttered, his eyes glancing down into the side mirror to see Rick following in the car behind. His mind was still whirling, anger and forgiveness bordering on a very thin line. Rick had his reasons for what he’d done, but that still didn’t make it right. Nevertheless, if they were going to have any semblance of family left, he was going to need to get passed it somehow.

 

“And what about us?” Carol asked him, her voice soft as she spoke. “We’re staying at the Kingdom for now, but when everything changes...are we going to follow Rick?”

 

Daryl bit the inside of his cheek, her words causing him to consider his answer. He knew whatever decision he made would affect both of them, and despite his resentment towards Rick right now, he couldn’t forget everything they had been through since the quarry. Rick was his brother in every way which mattered, even if he had made a devastating mistake.

 

“If ya wanna live in the new place, then we’ll go with ‘em...whatever ya want.”

 

“It’s not just what I want, Daryl,” she told him on a sigh. “I want to raise our baby in a real home; with our own front door... I want us to be happy.”

 

Daryl squeezed her hand on his thigh, wrapping his fingers around hers. He kept his eyes straight ahead, but he nodded in agreement.

 

“Gonna have all those things,” he told her gruffly as he navigated their car passed two stray walkers which tried to claw at the windows. “When we get home we’ll talk to Zeke _and_ Rick. I ain’t gonna ever be okay with what he did, but we’ve all done things we shouldn’t have.”

 

Lizzy’s face sprang into Carol’s mind but she forced the images away. If she allowed herself to think of her, she knew she would crumble, and she couldn’t lose it, not yet. The tears were already forming, brimming in her eyes like twin pools of sorrow, but she desperately blinked them away. Lizzy was a part of her life which she couldn’t acknowledge, because if she did, she didn’t know if she would ever recover from the trauma of it all.

 

“We’re gonna be okay,” he nodded, more to reassure himself than her. “Always got through Rick’s shit before ain’t we?”

 

Swallowing hard at the lump in her throat, Carol clung onto his fingers. He was like an anchor, securing her to the here and now. She desperately wanted to share her grief with him...she needed to unburden her soul of the monstrous action she’d taken to save a young girl from her own insanity. Instead, she lifted their joined hands up to her lips and placed a kiss onto his knuckles, before lowering then again onto her own thigh.

 

“I love you,” she told him, the words quashing the ball of sorrow which had almost overwhelmed her. Sighing softly, she settled back against the seat and averted her eyes to look at the passing trees. She didn’t need to say anything more, not to him.

 

Daryl’s lips lifted into a half smile, feeling his mood lift a little. Turning his hand beneath hers so they were palm to palm, he spread his fingers, allowing hers to slip through his before clasping them together.

 

“You too,” he told her simply, knowing it was enough.

 

000

 

It was late afternoon when the gates to the Kingdom came into view. Daryl glanced at the sleeping woman in the seat beside him and rubbed his thumb across her hand, causing her to stir awake.

 

“What?” she asked, her words disappearing into a yawn.

 

“We’re home,” he chuckled, shaking his head happily when she regarded him in sleep-mussed confusion.

 

His words seemed to slowly sink in and she turned her eyes forward to see the familiar gates beginning to open. Shifting in her seat, she turned to him, gracing him with an adoring smile...they were finally home and she could already feel the stress leaving her body.

 

“I fell asleep,” she told him with a smile, as if he’d failed to notice. “Sorry…”

 

“Thought ya got bored of hearing my voice,” he grinned, he too feeling lighter than he had since leaving the Hilltop.

 

“I’ll _never_ get tired of hearing your voice, Pookie,” she smiled brightly, love blooming in her eyes. Releasing his hand, she sat up a little higher in her seat and caught sight of Rick and Michonne in the car behind. Even through the small wing mirror she could see the tiredness on Rick’s face, and she found herself hoping with them all living in the same community, Daryl and Rick could find some peace within these walls.

 

When they drove into the compound, both cars stopped side by side while the gates behind them were pushed closed again. Opening her door, Carol climbed out of the car and stretched her back out while she waved happily to Jerry who was approaching them with a beaming smile on his face.

 

“You’re home,” he bellowed as he engulfed her in his warm embrace. “We missed you.”

 

Carol wrapped her arms around the large man, his warmth enveloping her. After a few moments she loosened her arms and they moved away from each other before he turned from her to hold his hand out to Daryl in greeting.

 

“Good to have you home,” Jerry told him, his face splitting into one big smile. “The kids haven’t stopped asking when you were both coming back.”

 

“We told ya we’d be back,” Daryl grinned, shaking the offered hand before releasing him again, “Is Zeke around?”

 

Before he could answer, Jerry’s eyes fell onto Rick when he came around his car, nodding in greeting.

 

“Hi!” Waving in greeting, Rick shook Jerry’s hand and nodded towards his own car. “Room for three more in here?”

 

“Three?” Jerry asked in confusion as he released Rick’s hand, until he saw Michonne lifted a sleeping Judith out of her car seat. “Yes, yes there’s always room here. Come...I’ll take you to see the King.”

 

Carol yawned behind her hand and shook her head in an apology. Looking towards her friend, she was ready to tell him she was fine but Daryl was by her side before she could open her mouth.

 

“Go to bed,” he told her as his arm slipped around her shoulders. “I’m gonna see Zeke real quick, but soon as we’re done, I’ll be home.”

 

“What about Rick?” Carol asked, worry settling in her eyes. “Are the two of you going to be okay?”

 

“Gotta be, don’t we?” he shrugged one shoulder and pressed his lips against her temple to placate her worries. “Go on, don’t worry about us. I’ll be with ya as soon I’m done.”

 

“Are you sure?” she asked,. a little dubious with leaving the man she loved alone with the brother who’d betrayed him.

 

“It’s okay, Carol,” Michonne’s voice broke through whatever reassurances Daryl was going to say. “I won’t let anything happen.”

 

Carol eyed the two of them cautiously before glancing back to Rick who was talking to Jerry, deep in conversation. Stifling another yawn she nodded reluctantly, hating how she couldn’t seem to combat the exhaustion now she was pregnant. Her gaze fell onto Judith who was still sleeping against Michonne’s shoulder and reached out to run her fingers over the little girl’s hair.

 

“Okay,” she sighed as she pulled her hand back, only to catch Daryl’s fingers before she stepped away. She felt the overwhelming need to stay connected to him. The feeling surprised her; the sheer power of it taking her by surprise. It was irrational and frightening all in one moment. She hadn’t ever felt like this with anyone but him.

 

Daryl watched her carefully, wanting nothing more than to retire to their room and sleep beside her for the rest of the night. He kept his gaze focused on her even when she took another step backwards. Their fingertips were still touching until the last possible moment when she couldn’t keep connected to him any longer.

 

“I’ll see you soon,” she told him, her voice soft as she spoke. With one final smile to Daryl, she nodded goodnight to Michonne before she turned completely and made her way towards the small room which had become her and Daryl’s home.

 

Michonne hid a smirk behind Judith’s hair, watching in amusement while Daryl followed Carol’s retreating form until he couldn’t see her anymore. When he realised Michonne was watching him, he grumbled in irritation before he moved towards Jerry and Rick, standing there expectantly until they both noticed his presence.

 

“C’mon, we ain’t gotta stand out here all day. Jude needs a real bed and I told Carol I wouldn’t be late.”

 

“Okay,” Rick smiled, nodding in agreement. He was relieved the man before him was at least talking to him this time, instead of greeting him with a fist to the face.

 

“I’ll take you to see the King,” Jerry grinned, choosing to ignore the tension rolling off Daryl as he turned away from them to begin walking towards Ezekiel’s chambers.

 

000

 

Ezekiel was on the last page of the book he was reading to the children, when they arrived. Lifting his eyes, he grinned a greeting before turning his attention back to the words on the pages.

 

Rick took the opportunity to regard the man beside him. Daryl kept his arms folded and nodded at something Jerry had muttered in his ear. Both men broke into a soft chuckle, the sputtered noise causing one of the children to turn and look behind him. The soft gasp which escaped the young boy wasn’t lost on his friends beside him, causing a few more heads to turn to see what had got him so excited.

 

_“Daryl!”_

 

Rick looked towards Daryl in surprise when the youngster was on his feet and careering towards the stoic hunter with frightening speed. He stopped just before he could crash into him, instead holding himself just a few steps away.

 

“Hi kid,” Daryl nodded in greeting, undeterred by Ezekiel’s surprised grin.

 

“Are you back?” Henry asked excitedly. “Is Carol with you?”

 

_Carol_...The whispers of his woman’s name caused Daryl’s lips to lift into a smile. It never ceased to amaze him how Carol seemed to have children gravitate towards her, and he too had their attention just by association. Part of him was terrified of receiving so much acceptance from so many of the younger Kingdom occupants, but he was slowly becoming accustomed to their adoration.

 

“Yeah, we’re both home,” he nodded, looking to each set of inquisitive eyes which seemed to be focused on him. “But...she’s sleepin’, so you’ll have to wait until tomorrow to see her.”

 

“Is she still going to teach us?”

 

Daryl’s eyes dropped down to the little girl beside him and nodded in affirmation. He could hear Ezekiel’s voice, still reading the story despite losing some of the children's’ attention.

 

“Yeah, but right now ya need to go back with the others, all of ya,” he tried his best authoritative voice and was even more surprised when it seemed to work. Henry looked up at him, his wide grin becoming infectious as he herded his straggling friends back towards the others.

 

“You’re quite the hero here,” Rick chuckled softly, keeping his voice no more than a whisper.

 

“Ain’t no hero to no one,” Daryl shrugged, both embarrassed and irked by Rick’s comments. Did Rick think he could just act like the last day hadn’t happened?

 

“Tell that to them,” Rick told him with a grin as he nodded towards the children, gathered in a sem-circle around Ezekiel’s chair. “They all seem to think so.”

 

Before Daryl could reply, Ezekiel closed the book he’d been reading and got to his feet. The children all stood with him, silenced by his promises of a continuance tomorrow. Daryl folded his arms across his chest while they waited for the youngsters to disperse from the room, most of them returning to their respective guardians who all waited for them outside.

 

“Daryl,” Ezekiel nodded in greeting, his wide smile causing Daryl to lower his guard. “It is indeed very good to have you back amongst us again, my friend.”

 

“Good to _be_ back,” Daryl responded, offering the other man a half smile as he gestured towards the man beside him. “Brought Rick and Michonne back with us.”

 

“I can see,” Ezekiel nodded, his eyes slipping towards the other man with a smile before he returned his gaze back to Daryl again. “And Carol? Is she well?”

 

“Yeah, she’s good,” Daryl told him, surprised how those past feelings of annoyance seemed to have slipped away. “She’s restin’.”

 

“And all is well with your child?” Ezekiel asked softly, his voice lowering as he leaned in a little closer to the man standing in front of him.

 

“Yeah, it’s all good...I’m goin’ back as soon as Rick’s had a chance to talk to ya.”

 

Ezekiel regarded him for a few moments before he averted his eyes onto his former comrade.

 

“And what brings you to the Kingdom, Rick?” Ezekiel asked as he held his hand out to the former sheriff. “It is good to see you again.”

 

“And you,” Rick nodded, taking the offered hand before dropping it and stepping away. “We were hoping, Michonne and I...if you would allow us to stay.”

 

“Is all not well in Alexandria?” Ezekiel asked, concern piquing in his voice. “Do you require our assistance?”

 

“No…yes...I mean...no...” Rick started before he stumbled over his words. He eyed his brother, desperately hoping he would step in and help him explain. Swallowing at the lump in his throat, he opened his mouth to try again, but stopped when he felt Daryl’s hand on his arm.

 

“They lost Carl,” Daryl explained, his voice oozing with sadness as he thought of the young man.

 

“That is indeed sad news,” Ezekiel stepped forward and rested his hand on Rick’s shoulder. “You have my deepest sympathies.”

 

“Thank you,” Rick managed, his voice sounding like sandpaper as he forced the words out. “We needed to be with family.”

 

“That is understandable,” Ezekiel told him softly. “If there is anything The Kingdom can offer to ease your sorrow, then name it.”

 

“There is...but maybe it is best for us to discuss it tomorrow,” Michonne suggested, lowering her voice as she shifted a sleeping Judith on her shoulder. “I really want to put her to bed...it’s been a long few days for all of us.”

 

“Yes, yes of course,” Ezekiel smiled boldly and turned to Jerry. “Will you show our guests to their temporary quarters, my friend...and provide anything they require?”

 

“Sure thing boss,” Jerry grinned as he took a step backwards and moved towards the door. Michonne turned to follow, glancing at Rick who seemed to be rooted to the floor.

 

“You go,” Rick told her when she hovered by his side. “I just need to talk to Ezekiel and Daryl.”

 

“Rick…”

 

“I’ll be okay,” he told her, hoping to placate her with a touch of his hand. “I won’t be long.”

 

Michonne’s eyes narrowed as she regarded him dubiously, before she finally relented and offered him a light smile. “You better not be.”

 

“I promise...I’ll be back soon.”

 

Turning away from him, Michonne walked behind Jerry and followed him out of the door to leave the three men alone.

 

As soon as she was out of sight, Rick caught Daryl’s eye before he turned to the dreadlocked man and took a breath. “Carl...he...wanted us to carry out his wishes...and that’s one of the main reasons I’m here.”

 

“Carl left us all letters,” Daryl cut it. “He wanted us to build a better world, all of us. He wanted us to expand our communities and bring them together.”

 

“As in one large community?” Ezekiel asked, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “Can that even be done?”

 

“I really hope so,” Rick told him as he reached into his pocket to pull the last remaining letter from his pocket. “This one...is for you…”

 

Ezekiel’s eyes lingered over the folded paper in Rick’s hand and watched it for a few moments before he reached out to take it. He held onto it like the precious item it was and looked down at it before he pulled it closer.

 

“I believe if we all work together, we can make it work,” Rick’s gaze stayed on the paper in Ezekiel’s hand. “If we’ve learned anything from the war with the saviours, then it has to be this, don’t you think?”

 

“Indeed.”

 

“Thank you,” Rick nodded before he glanced worriedly at the man beside him. “I…there’s something I should have told everyone, but...I...”

 

“Something more?” Slipping Carl’s letter into his pocket, Ezekiel kept his eyes on the man before him, watching expectantly. “More than _this?_ ”

 

“Yes…” taking a breath, Rick closed his eyes briefly, opening them again before spilling the secret he had been keeping. “Negan...he’s…”

 

“He ain’t dead,” Daryl blurted out, irritation seeping through his words. “Rick’s keeping the asshole in some damn dungeon somewhere.”

 

“He’s chained up,” Rick protested. “He’ll never get out. He…”

 

“He’s still breathin’ ain’t he?” Daryl hissed, biting back the stinging retort rolling on his tongue. “But...I ain’t here to talk about him again. We already did this back at Hilltop.”

 

“Negan is alive?” Ezekiel’s eyes widened as he looked from Rick to Daryl in dissbelief. “How is that possible? You told us…”

 

“He lied,” Daryl snapped. “Not just to you but to all of us.”

 

“But, why would you deceive us in this way?”

 

Standing up a little straighter, Rick looked the Kingdom leader in the eye and formulated a reply in his mind. He knew by coming here he was opening himself up to the wrath of the people Negan had hurt, but he believed in what he was trying to do.

 

“I wanted to use him...make him see how we can all live together without his way of doing things. He’s a symbol of what was, and this…” holding his hands out, gesturing at the room around him. “ _This_ , all of us united, is how it should have always been.”

 

“And do you believe all of the people who suffered under his rule will understand your...reasoning?”

 

“Yes,” Rick blurted. “At least _I_ hope so.”

 

“Come,” Ezekiel turned and made his way back towards his throne and sat down, waiting for the two men to join him. “Explain these reasons in greater detail...only then can I address my people. It is them you need to convince, not I.”

 

Rick lowered his head in defeat. He didn’t expect this to be easy by any means, but it seemed he didn’t just have to convince the king of his decision, but the whole of the Kingdom too. Lifting his eyes, he watched as Daryl took a seat beside the dreadlocked leader before both men turned to look at him. It was time for explanations, he only wished the king would understand.

tbc


	24. Chapter 24

Daryl pushed the door to his and Carol’s room, wincing when the hinge squeaked a little too loudly. Holding his breath, he eased the door open and slowly crept into the darkened room. The light from the hall intruded into the shadows, casting a pale glow over the sleeping face of the woman he loved. The sight of her caused his breath to hitch in his throat. He’d watched her sleeping back before the prison; intent on keeping her in his watchful gaze. He’d always felt something stirring inside him, but he’d never really been prepared to acknowledge what it all meant. Now though, now he had experienced how it felt to be loved by her...he just wished he’d had the courage to act upon those feeling so much sooner. Fear and insecurity had kept him from acknowledging those first blushes of love he’d felt. In truth, she terrified him long before she had even spoken his name...sometimes she still did.

 

For a moment he just stood still, watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest. She looked so peaceful in her cocoon of blankets, and as much as he wanted to climb to her amidst the warm sheets, he couldn’t bring himself to disturb her...but like every other time, he was drawn to her calming presence. She commanded his being, even in sleep. She held his heart and every other part of him, but he had no desire to flee...not this time. He wanted to be here with her, bound to her with an unseen tether which kept them inextricably linked. He never _wanted_ to feel the pain of losing her again... _never_ again.

 

Pushing the door closed, he waited until he heard the soft click before turning the lock. Holding his breath, he listened for any indication she had been disturbed by the noise he was trying so hard not to make, but she didn’t stir. Daryl kept his eyes on her while he maneuvered his jacket, rolling first one shoulder, and then the other, until the leather slipped down his arms. He caught hold of the collar before the jacket could hit the floor, but he wasn’t fast enough to stop the heavy zip from clunking against the floor. He froze with the sound; holding his breath for a few heart-stopping seconds while he waited to see if he had inadvertently woken her...but she didn’t stir.

 

Shaking his head in amusement, Daryl wondered when she had become such a heavy sleeper. Tiptoeing towards the chair in the corner of their room, he hung the jacket onto the back of it, then proceeded to unbutton his shirt. He kept his eyes on her the entire time, noting how she sighed in her slumber. She was so beautiful...even more when she was like this, so unaware and unguarded. To him, she was perfect. He dropped his shirt to the floor before sitting on the chair, perching on the edge of the seat while he unlaced his boots and slipped them from his feet, one by one.

 

“Hey…”

 

Carol’s voice startled him for a moment. He’d only taken his eyes from her for one second, but it had been long enough for him to miss her fluttering eyelashes.

 

“Hey,” he whispered, love oozing through that one solitary word. Standing up, he unpopped the buttons of his jeans and shimmied the heavy material down his thighs before kicking them from his legs to join the rest of his clothes.

 

“What time is it?” she asked sleepily, yawning out the words as she shuffled backwards in the bed until she was against the wall. Her gaze was on him when he approached the bed, and she held out her arms to welcome him into her warmth.

 

“It’s late,” he told her in a whisper, climbing into the bed beside her. Turning onto his side to face her, he tugged her against his chest and buried his lips into her hair when she tucked her head beneath his chin.

 

“Did...it go...okay?” she mumbled, her eyes already fighting to remain open.

 

“Hmm…” he hummed, tugging her a little closer as his fingertips drew small circles over her shoulder. “Zeke ain’t happy, but I left the two of ‘em talkin’. Didn’t get a chance to talk to him about us...but I’ll see him tomorrow.”

 

“Kay…”

 

“Sleep,” he chuckled as he kissed her head. “We’ll talk in the morning…”

 

When she didn’t answer he sighed in contentment, happy to be here in this room, holding her in his arms. This was how he wanted to end every night for the rest of his life, just like this. Closing his eyes, he welcomed the warmth from her body, and within minutes he could feel himself relax against her until he too welcomed the gentle pull of sleep.

 

000

 

The next morning, while Daryl had gone to find Ezekiel, Carol rummaged through the bundle of clothes Maggie had given her. Lifting up a light blue shirt, she held it up against her torso and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She was already starting to show outward signs of her pregnancy, so much so, she could no longer hide it. Part of her still worried about the gossiping dwellers, knowing she would be the subject of their tattling for a while. She was pregnant, like so many other women had been before her. She shouldn’t be worried about what some of the others might say, but she was still fighting through the long catalogue of Ed’s vile taunts. They still plagued her, even now, the words eating through those moments when she was alone and quietly reflecting.

 

Tossing the shirt onto the bed, she grabbed the new pair of maternity jeans and stepped into them before pulling the soft fabric up her legs and thighs. She sighed in contentment when the material met over her rounded belly; the buttons fastening without a struggle this time.

 

“There,” she smiled, smoothing the palm of her hand over her stomach. “Now there’s plenty of room for both of us.”

 

Turning to the side, Carol eyed her reflection and felt the swell of delight course through her as she thought of how this child was going to have so much love around it. Her child...hers and Daryl’s...regardless of the sex, was going to have its father’s eyes and its older sister, Sophia’s blonde hair...she could almost see it. He or she was going to be so beautiful. Blinking back the sting of tears, she silently cursed her wayward hormones which seemed to be creating havoc with her moods lately. She turned away from her reflection to grab the shirt from the bed and slipped it over her arms before drawing the blue cotton together. She was delighted with how easy it was to fasten the two edges together with ease. She wouldn’t miss the struggle of trying to squeeze her growing breasts and stomach into a garment which she was sure would burst open in any given moment. At least, now she could train the children in comfort rather than being mindful of her tight clothes.

 

A soft knock on her door brought her out of her thoughts. Turning to check her reflection one last time, she moved towards the door, pulling it open and ready to greet whoever was there with a bright smile...but when she came face to face with Samantha, no matter how much she tried, she just couldn’t stop the smile from slipping ever so slightly.

 

“Carol,” Samantha beamed, her acrid smile a permanent fixture on her face. “I saw Daryl this morning...and I thought I would come and say _Hi_.”

 

“Hello,” Carol told her gamely, folding her arms across her chest. When the other woman failed to say anything else, Carol sighed as frustration coursed through her. “Was there some reason you needed to see me?”

 

Samantha opened her mouth to respond, but her eyes seemed to hone in on Carol’s attire. Lowering her gaze, her eyes followed the line of Carol’s shirt, all the way down past her crossed arms to come to a stop on the protruding curve of her stomach.

 

“I…” she started, but felt her words stick to her tongue as shock rolled through her body when everything seemed to fall into place like a giant jigsaw puzzle. “You... _you’re_ …”

 

“Yes, I am,” Carol told her with a quirk of her eyebrow.

 

_“How…”_

 

“Uhhh...the _usual_ way!” Carol chuckled, the frustration quickly replaced by amusement which was sparkling in her eyes.

 

“But you’re…” shaking her head, Samantha tried to catch hold of her voice before she could say something which was totally inappropriate. “I...forgive me...I’m _just_...a little...shocked.”

 

“Yeah,” Carol nodded, her smile widening as she unfolded her arms and rested one hand over her stomach. “We were kind of shocked, too...we weren’t exactly expecting this.”

 

“We?” Samantha asked cautiously, already feeling her heart speeding up a little when Daryl’s face lingered in her mind. “You and…”

 

_“Daryl?”_ Carol asked. “Yes.”

 

“Oh...I…” Samantha seemed to come out of her shock and tore her eyes from Carol’s torso. “Congratulations.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“If there’s anything you need…” Samantha told her, nodding despite the sinking in her chest.

 

“I think we’re ok for now,” Carol told her with a warm smile as she took a step forward and stepped out into the hall. Reaching behind her she pulled the door closed, listening for the soft click. “But thank you.”

 

“Of course.” The younger woman took a step backwards, unsure in that moment what she should do with her hands. She settled for clasping her fingers together while bouncing nervously on the balls of her feet. “So, are you planning on still training with the children.”

 

“Yes,” Carol told her, already feeling the twinge of irritation prickling in her eyes. “I intend to carry on doing everything I was doing before I became pregnant.”

 

“But you’re okay?” Samantha asked. “You and the baby?”

 

“Yes, we’re both perfectly healthy.”

 

“That’s good.” Nodding, Samantha swallowed hard as the two of them slowly fell into silence as they walked. Glancing across at the woman beside her, she tried not to make it obvious she was looking at Carol’s stomach. She couldn’t deny she was envious of the striking woman beside her, because she was. Carol Peletier was an enigma, but whatever it was about her which caused more than a few men’s heads to turn, she would never know.

 

“Is everything alright?” Carol asked when she caught Samantha’s curious gaze.

 

“I...yes,” Samantha stammered, nodding her head emphatically while she thought of how she could make her excuses and walk in the opposite direction.

 

Fortunately for her, a dark skinned woman called Carol’s name and both of them turned to watch her approach. Samantha couldn’t recall seeing her before, but by the smile on Carol’s face it was clear the two women obviously held an affection for one another.

 

“Hey,” Michonne beamed as she returned Carol’s wide smile.

 

“Where’s Judith?” Carol asked as she looked behind her friend hoping to see the little girl.

 

“She wanted to stay with some of the other kids,” Michonne told her with a smile. “I left her playing in a sandpit.”

 

“Like a normal day at kindergarten...who’d have thought we would have some kind of normal again after all of this?”

 

“I know.” Nudging her friend’s arm, Michonne regarded Carol with a appreciative grin. “How are you doing this morning? You look amazing.”

 

“Thank you...I’m good,” Carol told her, blushing slightly before she turned towards Samantha who was watching the two of them curiously. “Michonne, this is Samantha, she takes care of the stores.”

 

Michonne eyed the unfamiliar blonde and nodded cooly. “Nice to meet you, I’m Michonne.”

 

“Samantha,” the woman held out her hand in greeting, tentatively taking Michonne’s hand before dropping it and moving away. “I’ll...um...I need to go…”

 

“It was nice seeing you,” Carol lied, but continued to smile anyway despite the obvious interest she knew Samantha had in Daryl. As soon as the blonde was out of sight, she turned to Michonne, this time with a genuine smile.

 

“What’s her problem?” Michonne asked curiously when she turned to follow Carol’s gaze.

 

“Samantha? Ah...I have a feeling she wishes I weren’t here.”

 

_“What?”_ Michonne gasped, surprise filtering through her gaze. “Why would she even…”

 

“Let’s just say, she thinks I’m standing in the way of her and Daryl!”

 

“How? Daryl hasn’t looked at another woman in all the time I’ve _known_ him,” Michonne snorted, her lips widening into a grin as she looked in the direction the blonde woman had gone. “Does she even know him?”

 

“Nope,” Carol sighed, shrugging her shoulders as she followed Michonne’s gaze. “She couldn’t...but she’s not the first woman to think she does, _is_ she?”

 

The uncertainty in Carol’s voice caused Michonne to turn sharply, regarding her friend with concern. “Carol. You know there won’t ever be anyone else for that man, don’t you?”

 

“ _I_ know…”

 

“You _don’t_ sound so sure,” Michonne nudged her shoulder gently. “I saw how he looked at you from the very first time I met all of you...and when we went out to search for the governor, I’m telling you, Carol, that man...he adores you.”

 

“I know...I’m just…” shrugging her shoulders, Carol shook herself out of the sudden mood which had encompassed her and met her friend’s gaze. “I’m fine. It’s...sometimes I wonder if I’m dreaming all of this.”

 

“This?” Michonne chuckled, holding up her arms, indicating the space around them. “Who’d dream up a world like this one? Unless you’re high...and the last time, I looked I don’t think you were!”

 

“Pfft…” Carol scoffed. “ _Now_ you sound just like Daryl!”

 

“Good,” Michonne grinned. “Now shift your _ass_. I need you to placate that man of yours. I’m worried he might just carry out the threat he made to Rick.”

 

“Which one?” Carol asked, grinning as they started to walk towards Ezekiel’s chambers.

 

“There’s more than one?”

 

“Oh yeah!” Carol chortled, laughter replacing the melancholy heaviness which had dissipated as quickly as it had arrived. “Come on…”

 

“Right behind you,” Michonne grinned, walking beside the older woman with a new determination in her step.

 

000

 

“So what do you propose?” Ezekiel asked as he studied the large hand drawn map which was spread out on the table before him.

 

“The Kingdom’s here,” Rick told him, pointing to their location drawn in pencil. “And Hilltop is here.”

 

“Yes, with all of this space between our two communities,” Ezekiel nodded. “Are you suggesting we expand our boundaries to meet with Hilltop’s? That is a very large area to fill, and more manpower than any of us have right now.”

 

“I was thinkin’, I could teach some of the older kids,” Daryl cut in, moving towards the table as his eyes slipped to the map. “Maybe not to extend as much as you’re askin’, but they could help clear a little more space. We could start building, nothin’ big, maybe a few cabins to start with.”

 

“Yes and we could clear some land for planting,” Rick suggested. “Maggie has boxes of seeds...cabbages, carrots...we could plant potatoes.”

 

“Carol planted tomatoes back at Alexandria,” Daryl offered. “There ain’t nothin’ we shouldn’t be able to grow now. With the Saviours gone, we…”

 

When Daryl’s voice trailed away, Rick felt the sting of regret creeping around him again. He looked up to see his brother exchange a knowing look with the Kingdom’s leader, and he instantly felt a shift in the room. The man he’d come to love as his own couldn’t look at him, and he knew Ezekiel was regarding him in much the same way. Daryl didn’t forgive easily, but Rick knew the stoic hunter always understood his reasons. He didn’t know the full extent of what happened to Daryl while he was captured...but he remembered with perfect clarity how the strong man he knew, had been reduced to a mere shell of himself. Rick wished he could erase it, just as much as Daryl wanted to forget what he’d gone through.

 

“Daryl…” he tried, imploring the other man to meet his gaze. _“Please…”_

 

“Rick,” it was Ezekiel’s voice which sounded first, his deep tones causing both men to turn towards him. “Daryl is correct to be concerned. Negan was a formidable aggressor. One who took pleasure in torturing not just your people, but mine and Hilltop’s as well. If we are going to make your son’s vision work, then we need to address the situation at hand.”

 

“Negan won’t be a problem,” Rick started, looking first to Ezekiel and then back to Daryl again. “He’s never getting out of the hole he’s locked up in.”

 

“So you say,” Daryl snipped, shaking his head in defiance. “There’s still gonna be some of those assholes still loyal to him. They ain’t gonna stop just cuz ya locked the bastard outta sight.”

 

“Daryl is right,” Ezekiel nodded. “There will still be those people who sympathise with Negan. Saviours are amongst us, hiding within our ranks. How do you suggest we deal with those who still support Negan and his regime?”

 

“We know they’re no longer loyal to him,” Rick protested, holding his hands out to his side in frustration.

 

“How can you be sure?” Ezekiel asked. “The Saviours were not just the work of merely one man. The Saviours were people who committed atrocities in Negan’s name, but the hatred they displayed were not because of him. Those men and women who enjoyed the power they held over the other communities, did so because it is what _they_ wanted.”

 

“So you’re saying what?” Rick asked huffily. “We should kill them all before they turn on us?”

 

“That is not what I am saying at all.”

 

“Then what?” Rick groused. “If we’re going to make a new life for ourselves, we need all the help we can get.”

 

“And what if the help turns against us?” Ezekiel asked, his eyes flitting between the two men. “What do you propose we do if that actuality happens?”

 

“We need to trust these people...all of them,” Rick was becoming exasperated. Turning towards the man beside him, he knew Daryl had his concerns about allowing the Saviours in amongst them, but he was one of the strongest men he knew. “Daryl...look…”

 

“We already did this once,” Daryl’s voice hissed through his lips when he spoke, his attention turning from Rick to return to the map on the table. “And I told ya what was gonna happen if any of ‘em looks at Carol the wrong way...but it ain’t me yer gonna need to convince.”

 

“What...then…”

 

_“Maggie,”_ Daryl spoke her name with so much conviction, Rick clamped his mouth closed. “It wasn’t me who got beaten to death right in front of her...and yer lucky she said she forgave ya, cuz I damn well wouldn’t...it it’d been Carol…”

 

“But it wasn’t…” Rick cut in. “And Maggie said she understood…”

 

“How the _fuck_ can she understand, Rick?” Daryl drew in a breath and tried desperately to clamp down on the hatred burning deep inside his gut. “She’s pregnant with a dead man’s kid, and that’s all on Negan.”

 

“I know…”

 

“ _Do_ you?” Daryl asked him, turning his flaming eyes onto the man he’d called brother. “Cuz it sure as hell doesn’t seem like it from where I’m standin’. Maggie’s lost more people than any of us.”

 

Rick swallowed hard and nodded silently. Shifting his gaze onto the Kingdom’s leader, he sighed in submission and took a step back towards the table. He knew he had unwittingly caused a rift between himself and the man beside him, but regardless, he still believed he had done the right thing.

 

“If any of them...any _one_ of them tries to stop us living our lives _our_ own way...then I _will_ stop them. I can promise both of you that.”

 

_“Fine,”_ Daryl’s gruff voice spoke the solitary word with a defiant air. He’d made his views on the Saviours perfectly clear and he didn’t want to waste any more time rehashing over the same words. “Ya better do just that, Rick. Cuz if ya don’t, I’ll find that fucker and kill him myself...and then I’ll be comin’ after you…”

 

“If Daryl here is in agreement,” Ezekiel spoke, his voice breaking through the hostile atmosphere. He regarded the leather-clad hunter, seeking acceptance in his moody blue eyes. When Daryl looked up and merely nodded his head, Ezekiel knew he had the hunter’s trust. “Then, we will trust you on this...but, if you fail, then you must know, I will defend my people with my very last breath.”

 

Rick pondered over the King’s words. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a step in the right direction at least. Nodding, Rick released the breath he’d been holding and returned to the task at hand.

 

“So...we’re all in agreement with the expansion?” he asked without really waiting for any acknowledgements. “We need to get everyone together and work out how we’re going to do this.”

 

“Yeah,” Daryl agreed, pointing to an area of the map.“I can take a group out on the west side.”

 

“Yes, and I will accompany Rick to address our communities. For now, it may be wise to keep Negan’s survival to ourselves. No need to create panic amongst our people.”

 

“Agreed,” Rick nodded. “Then we can set out in groups to clear small areas for planting and building. We can make this place a safe community.”

 

“We?” Ezekiel’s voice seemed to echo around the room, causing the other two men to look up in surprise. “Are you intending to join us here permanently?”

 

“I…”

 

“The Kingdom belongs to all of us,” Ezekiel continued, silencing whatever Rick was intending to say. “After everything we have suffered, our people deserve a world where they can feel safe.”

 

“Yes they do,” Rick’s lips turned upwards into a smile as he spoke, regarding Daryl’s briefly before returning his gaze to Ezekiel. “If you will have us, we would like to stay.”

 

“Then you will be most welcome,” the dreadlocked leader smiled in agreement. “You and your family.”

 

“My _family_ is _already_ here,” Rick told him honestly, feeling the sting of tears in his eyes. Blinking them away, he looked towards the man beside him, hoping Daryl still felt the kinship they had built together over the years.

 

Grunting in agreement, Daryl nodded briefly. He could feel his own emotions running rampant within him. He knew if he looked at Rick right now, he would undoubtedly succumb to the grief and loss they had both suffered. So instead, he swallowed hard and focused on the pencilled map, hoping no one would see his hand shaking.

 

The door behind them suddenly opened and all three men looked up to see who had entered the room.

 

The sight of Carol moving towards him caused Daryl to reach for her, drawing her into a desperate embrace. Carol could feel the tension in his body but held on tight, only releasing him when he loosened his arms.

 

“What’s wrong?” she whispered against his ear, her soft voice filling him with warmth. “Are you okay?”

 

When they slowly pulled apart, he smiled down at her, resting his forehead against hers. His breath mingled with hers, puffing against her lips.

 

“I am now,” he told her gruffly, his voice a gravelled whisper. “Got all I need right here.”

 

Carol eyed him curiously, but returned his smile with a bright one of her own. When he lifted his head as he kept her close, she knew something had happened to change his mood from the happy one he’d displayed that morning.

 

“Carol,” Ezekiel beamed, his wide smile almost spitting his face in two. “It is indeed a joy to have you home with us again.”

 

“Uh...thank you,” Carol reached for Daryl’s hand, trying to avoid drawing attention to Ezekiel’s obvious affection. “We’re both happy to be back.”

 

“You are positively glowing,” he continued, smiling with mirth when he met Daryl’s annoyed stare.

 

“Anyway…” Rick coughed, sensing Daryl’s irritation. Smiling at Michonne, who had come to stand beside him, he slipped an arm around her shoulder and tugged her against his side. “Our daughter is with some of the other children, but if you don’t mind us continuing this discussion a little later, I’d like to go and see her.”

 

“Of course,” Ezekiel smiled, holding out his hand to indicate the door. “We will speak of this again later today, after I have spoken to a few of my people. Then maybe we can make this work for all of us.”

 

“Thank you.” Rick looked towards the other couple, expecting them to follow him, but to his surprise, they didn’t move. “Daryl?”

 

“We’ve got somethin’ we wanna talk to Zeke about,” Daryl told him as he squeezed Carol’s fingers with his own. “Might be a while.”

 

“Okay...we’ll see you later then,” Rick told him, catching Carol’s eye before Michonne tugged him towards the open door. He followed behind her, only glancing back briefly until he was led out of the room.

 

When the door swung closed once more, Daryl leant against the table but still held onto Carol’s hand. He could feel Ezekiel’s eyes on him, and for the first time since he’d met the Kingdom’s leader, he didn’t feel any irritation towards him.

 

“Carol and me, we wanna stay, permanently.”

 

“That is indeed glorious news, my friends,” Ezekiel positively beamed, his wide grin spreading across his face. “I am overwhelmed with joy.”

 

“Yeah…’m sure ya are,” Daryl shook his head, unable to stop the soft chuckle from escaping his lips.

 

“Oh _stop_ ,” Carol grinned, waving her free hand at her dreadlocked friend. “What Daryl is trying to say is, we need a bigger place. I’m going to give birth in a few months time, and we need more space.”

 

“Of course,” Ezekiel beamed, moving around the table as he spoke. “There are many available dwellings. Some may need attention before they are safe for you to take as your own. I’ll see to it you have the first choice.”

 

“Thank you,” Carol squeezed Daryl’s fingers when he regarded the Kingdom’s leader with surprise. “But if you don’t mind, I’d like to spend some time with the rest of our family. Can we talk later?”

 

“Of course,” Ezekiel told her brightly. “I will instruct Jerry to show you what is available when you return. Good day to you, my friends.”

 

“See ya later, Zeke,” Daryl nodded, suddenly feeling so much lighter than he had in a few days. “Thanks.”

 

“You are most welcome,” Ezekiel smiled, his lips widening even more when Henry poked his head around the door. “Ah, Henry, come in.”

 

The young boy’s eyes grew wide when he saw who was in the room, and the smile he granted Carol almost split his face in two.

 

_“Carol!”_

 

“Hi Henry.” Reaching out, Carol ruffled the youngster’s hair affectionately before pulling back again. “We’ll see you for training later?”

 

“Yep,” Henry grinned, resisting the urge to throw his arms around her. “See you later.”

 

He watched them, his eyes focused on the retreating couple until the door closed behind them. Turning back around to face the man who had become like a father to him, he rushed forward into his waiting embrace.

 

tbc


	25. Chapter 25

Daryl and Carol left Ezekiel’s chamber and walked out into the the warm sunshine. Carol kept a hold of his hand, unwilling to release him even as they made their way through pockets of Kingdomers who just nodded in greeting. Carol was aware she was visibly pregnant, but instead of the scrutinising glances she had prepared herself for, all she saw were warm smiles and gasps of surprise. Several of the older women seemed to be delighted at this new turn of events, waving enthusiastically as the couple passed them.

 

“See, told ya there weren’t nothin’ to worry about,” Daryl told her, without openly gloating he had been right all along. “People here ain’t like those stuck up bitches back at Alexandria.”

 

“I know that,” she smiled, squeezing his fingers with her own. “I was worried...because I’m older…”

 

“Y’ain’t old...and even if ya were, ain’t no one’s damn business but ours.”

 

Nodding her head, Carol glanced at him, noting how his eyes focused straight ahead. She could read him so easily; more now since they’d become intimately involved. There was something going on in that mind of his; mirrored in his eyes like a beacon. She knew he thought she couldn’t see it, but she could. She allowed the silence to fall over them for a few more moments, until curiosity won out.

 

“So,” Carol’s voice broke through their easy silence. “Are you going to tell me what we walked in on back there?”

 

“Nothin’,” Daryl shrugged nonchalantly. “Just makin’ sure Rick knows I ain’t takin’ none of his shit.”

 

“I bet that went well,” Carol scoffed, leaning against his arm while they walked side by side.

 

“He said he’s stayin’.”

 

“Rick?” Carol asked, not really needing to hear his answer. “He said as much when he gave us Carl’s letters.”

 

“Yeah,” Daryl nodded briefly, his breath coming out in a sigh. “Before he told us about Negan, I thought it’d be good to be back together again...like old times ya know…”

 

“But now you’re not so sure?” Carol nudged his arm and kept her eyes focused on him.

 

“I don’t know,” he all but whispered. “I...I just...don’t know…”

 

“Honey, it’s okay to feel this way,” Carol soothed, unaware she had spoken the soft endearment until she saw his eyes flare with something akin to surprise. Her cheeks flushed a little when his lips turned upwards into a wide smile.

 

“Ya called me honey,” he told her, his eyes twinkling brightly as he untangled their fingers to slip his arm loosely across her shoulders.

 

“Sorry,” she chuckled, even though she wasn’t sorry at all. “It just slipped out.”

 

To her surprise, Daryl lowered his head and grazed his lips against her ear. “Kinda like it…”

 

Carol shivered when his gravelled whisper rumbled sensuously through her. He had a way of rendering her defenseless with that particular tone, as if he knew she was powerless to resist him. She never thought him as a _honey_ type of man...but maybe she would say it more often if he looked at her like this.

 

“ _Maybe_ I’ll call you _honey_ more often,” she whispered, feeling her body humming in a way she knew all too well. “We…”

 

Before she could finish, he pulled her to a stop and his mouth was on hers before either of them realised what was happening. The space around them slowly melted away, along with the sounds from the spatter of people going about their day. Neither of them had ever been so reckless before now...but they were lost in the moment, caught in a kiss which would have made Merle Dixon so proud. Tugging her even closer, Daryl ran his tongue across her bottom lip, but before he could lose himself in her, she gasped and pulled away. Her eyes dropped down to her protruding stomach with surprise, and within seconds she grabbed his hand and pressed his palm flat against her belly.

 

“Can you feel it?” She asked excitedly, holding her hand over his. Her eyes grew wide as she looked up at him, a joyous smile gracing her lips.

 

“Is that…” Daryl’s mouth fell open and he stepped in a little closer, bringing his other hand up to press against the other side of her belly.

 

“Yes,” she chuckled, caught between love and elation. Their eyes met, Daryl’s as wide as hers. “Our baby…”

 

“I thought it was too early,” he gasped, wonderment filling his eyes. “But...it…”

 

“I felt Sophia early too, _and_ don't forget, _this_ baby is a Dixon,” she grinned, her voice causing his eyes to glisten with adoration. “He already takes after his daddy.”

 

“Poor kid,” Daryl chortled, even though he was trying to rein in the sudden wave of emotion which washed over him. The barely there bump against his palm caused his smile to widen even more. He couldn’t seem to take his hands away from Carol’s stomach, fascination and wonder culminating in complete and utter awe.

 

“Daryl,” she whispered his name when she noticed they had started to gather an unwelcome audience. When he didn’t move, she tried again, but this time she lifted a hand to his cheek and gently coaxed his eyes up to hers.

 

He looked at her questioningly, reluctantly removing his hands as he glanced around him and saw for himself what had caused her to get his attention. He eyed the curious women, all the older ones who seemed to have a knack of being within his eyeline whenever he was with Carol. His face flushed a little when one of the women came towards them, holding out her hands to both of them gleefully.

 

“Mrs Beeton,” Carol nodded, failing to hide the smile which formed before she could stop it.

 

“For the hundredth time, it’s Kathleen,” she scolded, smiling despite her stern voice. “Forgive me for prying, but does this mean…”

 

“Yeah,” Daryl’s voice came from nowhere, and he suddenly found Carol’s eyes on him. Shrugging his shoulders, he grinned back nonchalantly. He was unbelievably happy right now. “She’s havin’ my kid.”

 

Carol scowled at him, wondering when he had become Mr Chatty. Half the time she had to speak for both of them because he’d preferred not to get involved with the old busy bodies...but now, when she would have preferred to enjoy their baby for just a little longer without announcing it, Daryl goes and tells one of the most notorious gossips in the Kingdom!

 

“That is just wonderful,” Kathleen beamed, grasping onto Carol’s hand before she could pull it away. “A child is such a blessing, especially now.”

 

“Yes, it is,” Carol smiled, allowing the older woman to hold onto her for a little longer before she retrieved her hand and pulled away. “If you’ll excuse us, we need to meet with the rest of our family.”

 

“Of course,” Kathleen beamed. _“Congratulations!”_

 

Daryl nodded his thanks, his arm sliding up Carol’s arm as he guided her away from Kathleen and the three other women who had gathered around her. When he glanced over at Carol, he couldn’t help but return her incredulous smile.

 

“What?” he asked, shaking his head when she burst into a soft chuckle as she leaned into his side.

 

“You,” she laughed, bumping her hip against his. “I thought we were keeping this to ourselves for a little while.”

 

“Only told her cuz she asked,” he scoffed as his arm smoothed its way over her shoulders. “People are gonna notice soon anyway.”

 

“Trust me, every person in this whole community and the next will know by the end of the day!”

 

“Staaahp…” he guffawed, tugging her closer while they walked. “Now yer just exaggeratin’.”

 

“You’ll see,” she told him gleefully, feeling happier than she had in a very long time. “Anyway, she isn’t the first person to know outside our family.”

 

Daryl’s eyes widened in surprise, wondering who could possibly know about the baby besides the people they’d already told.

 

“Who?” he asked curiously, watching her eyes twinkle with mirth as she pulled them to a stop and turned to face him.

 

“Samantha.”

 

_“Samantha?”_ he ground out the woman’s name distastefully when he was suddenly reminded of how the woman had practically thrown herself at him. “How the hell does she know?”

 

“Oh...she saw me this morning in this,” she told him as she gestured towards her shirt which made her bump more noticeable. “She asked and I told her.”

 

“She know it’s mine?”

 

“Oh, _yeah_ ,” she told him almost gleefully, but she bit her lip just as quickly to stop the grin spreading even further.

 

“Okay,” he nodded slowly, one of his eyebrows quirking upwards as he watched her dubiously. “So, ya just told her I…”

 

_“Yep,”_ she cut him off, as she turned away from him and began walking again without looking back.

 

Daryl was caught for just a few seconds until he found his feet and began to hurry after her. Carol wasn’t the type of woman to flaunt anything in another’s direction, but even he had noticed how the young blonde had made no attempts to hide her attraction to him. Now it seemed Carol had decided to take matters into her own hands. Catching up to her, he reached for her again, capturing her hand and threading their fingers together.

 

“Did the right thing,” he muttered, keeping his eyes directly in front of him. “The woman’s too damn pushy.”

 

Instead of answering, Carol looked towards him and grinned her approval. Even though he hadn’t turned to look at her, she knew by the curve of his mouth he was trying hard not to laugh. Squeezing his fingers, she chuckled softly and turned her eyes forward, knowing they were going to be fine.

 

000

 

They found Rick and Michonne an hour later at one of the many picnic tables. Carol pulled Daryl to a stop before they could approach the couple, nodding towards the happy family scene playing out. It seemed so surreal to watch them now; the warrior and the former sheriff. Not that long ago this couple had been complete opposites, building a friendship which had slowly blossomed into something more. Now they were a formidable pair, raising a daughter which they all suspected was a dead man’s child...but Carol couldn’t ever remember seeing the three of them look so...happy.

 

“Look at them,” she sighed, a slow smile lifting her lips. “They look so happy.”

 

“Yeah,” he mused. “They do.”

 

Pulling her gaze away from the young family, Carol turned to look at the man beside her and squeezed his fingers. She knew his relationship with Rick was strained right now, but she hoped the two of them could work through the hostility and betrayal.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Her voice brought him out of his musings, and he looked down at her. He couldn’t help but notice how her blue eyes were fused with worry; worry he knew was there because of him.

 

“Gonna be fine,” he nodded, his eyes drifting back towards the scene just a short distance away from them.

 

“I really hope so,” she told him with a sigh. “For everyone’s sake, I really want to believe that.”

 

Daryl tore his eyes away from the man who had become his kin and lowered his gaze back to her. He knew she was apprehensive about the future, and not just because of the baby either. This rift between him and Rick was something which couldn’t be fixed with a couple of reassuring words and false promises. He wished it could be so easy to forgive, but he couldn’t erase Rick’s betrayal.

 

“Promised ya, didn’t I?”

 

Swallowing hard, Carol nodded her head as she leant against his arm. She knew how it felt to be betrayed by someone who was supposed to love you. First Ed and then Rick...it wasn’t easy to just turn those feelings off.

 

“I want you to be happy,” she told him softly. “I want to build a life for our child with happiness around him. We can’t do that unless we face everything head on and deal with it.”

 

“What do you mean?” he asked as he pulled back a little so he could see her face. “Carol?”

 

“He left me to die,” the words blurted out of her mouth before she could stop them. They held just as much bitterness now as they had so long ago. “He thought by offering me my old watch back it would make everything right between us. I let it go because I thought that’s what I needed to do.”

 

“That’s why ya thought ya should leave?” he asked, biting the inside of his lip. “Cuz of what he did?”

 

“Partly,” she shrugged. “And because I thought no one wanted me there.”

 

_“What?”_ he asked, his voice rising as he could feel the irritation building inside him once more. “ _I_ wanted ya there. Ya _know_ I wanted ya there.”

 

“I do now,” she told him as she lifted her eyes up to his. “But back then I wasn’t so sure. We drifted apart when we found Alexandria...and I…”

 

“What?”

 

“It doesn’t matter,” she sighed, not wanting to drag up all those insecure feelings again. “We’re together now, that’s all that matters.”

 

“Carol…”

 

“No,” she smiled, moving away from him a little. “You and me, we’re solid, and I don’t want to dwell on the past, not now.”

 

Daryl nodded slowly, swallowing down the ball of emotion which seemed to stick in his throat. He knew she was right; they were solid, and nothing or no one would ever come between them. Clutching her hand tighter, he leant down to press his lips against her forehead, before pulling away to offer her a reassuring smile.

 

“Gonna try and make things better with Rick,” he told her. “Can’t promise it’s gonna be today, but I’m gonna try.”

 

“That’s all I’m asking for,” she smiled, love shining in her eyes. “You don’t have to forgive him, you only have to live with him...even if it’s never like it was before between you, making your peace is better than allowing it to fester.”

 

“Like you, ya mean?” he chuckled, eyeing her knowingly when she looked away. “C’mon, let’s make a start at fixin’ this shit.”

 

“I love your subtlety,” she snorted, bursting into a soft chuckle as he led her towards their family.

 

Rick spotted them first. Waving his hand in the air, he lowered his arm, nudging the little girl beside him and muttered something into her ear. Judith lifted her head and looked around until she saw the two people moving towards them. Pushing her father’s hand away, she scrambled to her feet and held her arms up to her mother. Michonne turned her head to see what had got her daughter so excited, and on seeing the approaching couple, she turned back around and lifted Judith up to place her onto the ground. Within seconds she was running, careering towards her aunt and uncle, squealing with delight.

 

Daryl released Carol’s hand and bent to scoop the giggling toddler up into his arms. The little girl wrapped her arms around his neck and began jabbering his name while resting her cheek against his.

 

“Hey Jude,” he grinned, shifting her body to settle her properly on his hip. He rubbed his bearded cheek against hers, chuckling softly when the movement caused her to giggle hysterically as she tried to move her face away.

 

Carol lifted her hand to the little girl’s side and tickled her until she was squealing and laughing, begging her to stop. Moving her hand away, Carol grinned down at her and moved in to press a kiss against the little girl’s soft cheek. Despite all of the heartache, Judith was the epitome of all the good things since the world had changed.

 

Rick and Michonne came to meet them; the former sheriff nodding in greeting. Holding out his arms to retrieve his daughter, the little girl shook her head and buried herself further into Daryl’s embrace.

 

“She’s fine right here,” Daryl told him, resting his head against Judith’s. “She ain’t a problem.”

 

Rick lowered his arms and regarded the man before him with quiet acceptance. He could see how Daryl eyed him in much the same way, and for the first time since he had admitted Negan was still alive, he could feel a shift in the mood between them.

 

“Okay,” Rick nodded, moving to Daryl’s side so the two of them could walk ahead of the women who chatted quietly behind them. “So...you want to talk about…”

 

“Nope!”

 

“Okaaay,” Rick nodded slowly, glancing to his right to try and capture Daryl’s mood, but he couldn’t quite make him out. So he walked beside him, content to bask in the comfortable silence, knowing it was better than the hostility that had come before.

 

“Gonna talk to some of the others,” Daryl told him, his voice causing Rick to look up at him in surprise. “If ya wanna talk to ‘em too...”

 

_“Yes,”_ Rick spoke the word so quickly that Daryl looked at him over Judith’s head.

 

“Okay,” Daryl nodded, coming to a stop to wait for the women to catch up to them. Motioning to Michonne to take Judith, he kissed the little girl who reluctantly released her hold on him.

 

“Uncle Daryl and daddy have some things to do, baby girl,“ Michonne soothed when Judith began protesting loudly.

 

“See ya later,” Daryl told her as he held his hand up to her so she could high five him. He grinned at her when she offered him a bright smile, and tried not to take it personally when she forgot all about him within seconds of saying goodbye.

 

Carol smiled as she moved towards him and lifted her hands up to frame his face. Leaning forward, she pressed her lips to his and lingered there for a few seconds before she lowered her hands and stepped away.

 

“I still love you, Pookie,” she teased, her beaming smile bringing a flush of colour to his cheeks. “ _Now_ go and change the world…”

 

Daryl grasped her hand for a few seconds before letting her go again. Grinning wildly, he watched as she turned away from him and hurried to catch up to Michonne and Judith. He stood there, rooted to the spot while she walked away.

 

“Come on, brother,” Rick chuckled as he laid a hand on his friends arm. “Let’s go and put this plan in motion.”

 

Nodding, Daryl tore his eyes from Carol’s retreating form and turned to look at the man beside him. Things weren’t right between them, but he could still feel the underlying kinship interwoven with every other emotion. They had come too far to allow this to cause continuous damage between them. Turning, he waited for Rick to fall into step beside him as they set about to rebuild their lives forever.

tbc


	26. Chapter 26

Three months later, Carl’s dream for their future was beginning to take shape. Dozens of new cabins had been erected around the far southern border of the kingdom’s boundary walls. Built from roughly cut wooden planks, each hut had been lovingly crafted by the residents from all three communities. Scavenged glass from some of the surrounding houses had been ferried in various different vehicles, along with furniture and bedding. The community was starting to resemble a small town, with all of the post apocalyptic mods and cons.

 

On a previous scavenge trip to towns further north, Jerry and Daryl had found an old camping warehouse. Most of the portable gas stoves and cooking equipment had already been pilfered, but one of the group had found several hand operated washing machines. As a result there was now a laundry hut which serviced the whole community, but with so few machines, there was a rota system in place. However, in the way the world was now, hand operated washing machines were one of life’s luxuries.

 

On the eastern side of the kingdom, a few of the residents had begun planting crops of potatoes, carrots and peas...the vegetable plantation had taken over the large area which used to consist of nothing but grass and weeds. To the right of the larger crops was a smaller patch consisting of a mishmash of whatever seeds anyone had managed to scavenge together. Beets, onions and various other vegetables which hadn’t been so popular in the old world.

 

The Kingdom had become a haven for the dwellers who had chosen to stay on permanently. The Hilltop and Alexandria had also begun to rebuild their communities. Despite Carl’s vision of seeing all of his remaining family living in one place, Maggie had chosen to stay at the Hilltop. She’d given birth to a baby boy, and she had done it all while still being a leader to the people who looked to her for guidance. Despite the distance, the five remaining family members remained in contact as often as they could...which was almost on a weekly basis now. But since the birth of little Hershel, Maggie’s communications had become a little less frequent.

 

The sun was high in the sky when Carol ventured out that morning. Now at almost eight months pregnant, she was forbidden to contribute to the workload involved with ploughing or building. With Daryl taking over most of the classes with the children, Carol had been demoted to the less strenuous tasks; much to her annoyance. Her ankles were swollen and her belly protruded way out in front of her. She was uncomfortable, irritable and wanted this whole pregnancy to be over with... _but_ she was happy.

 

Making her way down the wooden steps, she moved slowly. She wasn’t as spry as she used to be, something she was finding hard to cope with. Her huge girth made maneuvering around a lot more difficult than before she’d become pregnant. When she reached the bottom step, she closed her eyes for a brief moment and drew in a deep breath. The smells from the newly dug earth hit her senses, and she found herself relishing in it. It smelt of progress; of all things new. Opening her eyes, she looked around her. She could see the vegetable crops from here, and the newly sprouting greenery which would soon be producing enough food for every single resident here.

 

Sinking down onto the little wooden bench outside the cabin she shared with Daryl, she regarded the scene around her with approval. They had made something of a life for themselves here. With a thriving community and many new families moving into the dwellings situated around the kingdom, Carol could finally allow herself to believe in a future. For the first time since the prison, she didn’t have the urge to run.

 

In the three months since Rick had delivered his devastating news about Negan, the betrayal still ran deeply amongst Daryl and the others. The two men’s relationship had become a little strained, so far from the early days of their brotherly camaraderie. Both Carol and Michonne had tried every different way to try and rebuild the trust which had once existed between them, but even they hadn’t been successful. In the end, the two women had decided to let the men in their lives settle their differences in their own way...but with Ezekiel choosing to protect his people from the knowledge of Negan, the only people who knew about his imprisonment were kept to their selected few. It didn’t help with the endless frustrations Daryl often displayed, but as the weeks went on and Carol’s stomach expanded, he had become more focused on her...and the rift with Rick seemed to dwindle a little.

 

Settling herself against the back of her bench, Carol smiled to herself as she lifted her eyes up to the cloudless sky. By all accounts it was a beautiful summer’s day. She had almost managed to drown out the sounds of the undead wandering around the fences; their deep guttural growls a stark reminder of how different their world was now. With Daryl out with a new group of recruits, she couldn’t help but worry about him when he was outside these walls. He was more than capable of taking care of himself, and she had no idea where these irrational fears had sprung from. Maybe it was because she was so close to giving birth...

 

“Hey, Carol,” Michonne’s voice brought her out of her musings and she turned to see the dark skinned woman walking towards her.

 

“Hey,” Carol smiled in greeting, motioning for her friend to sit in the vacant seat beside her. “Come sit with me…”

 

Michonne nodded and sat down beside her. Turning to her side, she regarded the woman beside her with quiet adoration. Carol seemed to ooze beauty from every pore, even though Michonne doubted her friend could see it in herself. Carol was incredibly stunning.

 

“How are you feeling?” Michonne asked, eyeing Carol with concern when she heaved out a heavy sigh.

 

“I’m fat,” Carol grumbled, moving her hands over her swollen belly. “He kept me awake most of the night and I can’t get comfortable...no one will let me do _anything_...it’s... _frustrating_ …”

 

“Carol, you’re eight months pregnant...in a few weeks you’re going to have a new little person to look after,” Michonne told her, smiling despite knowing Carol had heard this whole speech before. “These last few weeks are meant for you to rest. You won’t get the chance to do that when this little one arrives.”

 

“I know…” Carol sighed. “It’s just...I feel so, _useless_ …”

 

“Believe me, you’re anything but useless.” Reaching out, Michonne laid her palm flat on Carol’s protruding stomach and immediately felt a little hand or foot thumping against it. Her smile widened as she chased the small movements, marvelling at the strength of this little Dixon.

 

“See what I mean?” Carol chuckled when Michonne slowly pulled her hand away. “He’s not even here yet and already he’s making his presence known!”

 

“He’s certainly a Dixon,” Michonne grinned, watching in fascination when Carol’s stomach contorted with the baby’s movements. “What are the two of you going to do if _he_ is a _she?_ ”

 

“Oh, don’t get me started,” Carol guffawed, shaking her head with the sudden images of Daryl standing over any of their daughter’s prospective suitors. “Can you imagine it?”

 

“Oh, yeah,” Michonne laughed happily. “No man will ever get close to her. She’ll be a daddy’s girl from the second she’s born! Oh, Lord, that poor girl won’t ever be able to date!”

 

_“Exactly!”_

 

“But at least she’ll be able to look after herself!” Sitting back in her seat, Michonne regarded the woman beside her with warm affection. “How’s Daryl?”

 

Carol sighed in resignation, she too settling against the back of her chair. She knew Daryl missed the easy relationship he used to share with Rick. The two of them had been so close at one point, but now…

 

“He’s good,” Carol told her, her mind conjuring up images of the man she loved. “But...I think he misses Rick.”

 

“Yeah,” Michonne nodded, “Rick misses him too...but they’re both too damn stubborn to fix it.”

 

“I don’t think it’ll ever be like it used to be,” Carol told her on a sigh. “Daryl still has nightmares, and even though he doesn’t openly say it, I know it has to do with Negan.”

 

“Carol…”

 

“I know what you’re going to say,” Carol held her hand up, silencing Michonne’s protests. “He hasn’t told me everything, but from the little things he has told me...I want to find Negan and kill him slowly.”

 

“Would it make a difference if Negan was dead?” Michonne asked her softly, her voice trailing away as she averted her eyes.

 

“Probably...maybe…” Carol let out a slow breath. “I don’t know…”

 

“What if I told you, Negan…” turning back around to face her friend, Michonne swallowed hard before she continued. “Rick told me he went back to Alexandria to visit Negan in his cell, but he…”

 

“Michonne?” Carol urged, reaching across to touch the other woman’s arm when her voice trailed away.

 

“He was a...dead...a _walker_...someone had gone in and slit his throat.”

 

_“What?”_ Carol gasped out, pulling her hand back as she slumped against her seat. “Who? _How_ when no one knew…”

 

“I don’t know...no one saw anything,” Michonne shrugged, averting her eyes back onto the crops once more. “He was going to try and find out who did it...but…”

 

When Carol chuckled humorously, Michonne stopped talking and turned to look at her questioningly. The silver haired woman shook her head and ran a hand across her eyes before she lifted her gaze to meet her friend’s.

 

“I’m surprised he didn’t automatically blame _me!_ ”

 

“Carol...it’s not like that…” Michonne shook her head, torn between protecting her man and placating her friend. “He never _once_ thought that.”

 

“Why?” Carol asked. The old bitterness she’d felt over Rick throwing her out of the prison still came back to haunt her, even when she thought she was truely over it. “I could have gone there when all of you were out on a run. You’re all gone for days at a time...I _could_ have taken one of the trucks and done it before any of you noticed I’d gone.”

 

“Because you wouldn’t,” Michonne told her firmly, slightly irritated by Carol’s reasonings.

 

“Oh, believe me, _I_ could,” Carol’s voice dropped a little lower as she spoke, the firm steadiness sending shivers down Michonne’s spine. “Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I wouldn’t kill a man who has inflicted so much pain on our family.”

 

“I…”

 

“Hershel will never know his father because of that _man_ …” shaking her head, Carol moved her hands to rest over her swollen belly. “I wanted to kill him for what he did to Daryl...and if I’d known where Rick had hidden him, I can’t promise I _wouldn’t_ have slit his throat myself.”

 

Michonne swallowed heavily as she eyed the woman beside her. Carol’s steel blue eyes held so much warmth, but at the same time they wore a deadliness which portrayed just how dangerous she could be. Instead of answering, Michonne simply nodded and settled back against the seat, hoping to steer their conversation onto something else.

 

“So, what happens now?” Carol’s voice sounded again, unwilling to drop the subject of Negan just yet. “Does he plan on telling Daryl?”

 

“I honestly don’t know,” Michonne sighed. Lowering her eyes down to her hands, she couldn’t help but worry what Carol would do with this new information. “Are _you_ going to tell him?”

 

“Well, I think he has a right to know, don’t you?” Carol asked, her voice rising a little as she spoke. “And Maggie? Shouldn’t she be able to rest, knowing her husband’s murderer is _finally_ dead?”

 

“Yes…” Michonne swallowed heavily and lifted her eyes up to the cloudless sky. “Of course, I think she deserves to know, they _all_ do...but…”

 

“You’re worried about Rick?” Carol asked knowingly, her eyes focusing on the woman beside her. “He doesn’t want people to know about Negan, does he?”

 

“Not in the way you’re thinking,” turning to face the other woman, Michonne reached out to her hand but stopped and pulled away again before she could touch her. “He didn’t keep Negan alive to hurt Daryl or Maggie…”

 

“I know that.” Shifting in her seat, Carol laid her hands over her restless child, hoping to calm the jabbing movements. “The problem with Rick is…”

 

When she winced, Michonne moved closer and peered at her friends face for any sign she was in distress. “Carol?”

 

“S’okay,” shaking her head, Carol breathed out a slow breath and smoothed her fingers across the wide expanse of her stomach. “He’s running out of space…”

 

Michonne eyed Carol dubiously, worry etched on her face. Sitting back in her seat, she kept her gaze firmly fixed on the woman beside her and watched silently when Carol smiled down at her swollen belly.

 

“Daryl is so good at this,” Carol told her with a smile as she met the other woman’s worried eyes.

 

“With what?”

 

“This,” Carol gestured to her stomach and her hands. “I move my hand over my belly when the baby decides to use my bladder as a trampoline, and nothing...Daryl only has to speak and he calms down.”

 

_“Really?”_ Michonne chuckled. “Why am I not surprised?”

 

“I know,” Carol grinned as she met her friends gaze. Her eyes lost some of their mirth and the smile fell a little when she remembered what they had been discussing only moments ago. “What are we going to do about Negan?”

 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Michonne shrugged. “It’s _done_ , he’s dead, _put_ down...there is no Negan anymore.”

 

“I meant...how, _or_ when is Rick going to tell Daryl and Maggie?”

 

“Oh,” releasing the breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding, Michonne shook her head in resignation. “I don’t know...but Rick is intending to visit Hilltop on his way back...Maggie’s got some building designs she wanted to give him...maybe he’s going to tell her while he’s there.”

 

“I hope so,” Carol sighed. “For her sake, I hope he does. She needs closure on Negan so she can move on...or try to at least. I can’t imagine how she’s coping on her own. I’m lucky because I have Daryl…”

 

“And _us_ ,” Michonne reminded her, smiling despite the heaviness in her heart. “Me and Rick are here for you, too...please, don’t forget that.”

 

Reaching across the seat, Carol’s hand left her belly to lay over her friends arm. The two women eyed each other with so much affection; friends who had become family.

 

“I haven’t forgotten,” Carol told her with a watery smile. “And I’m so glad you’re here; _both_ of you.”

 

“I’m glad,” Michonne’s eyes glistened with unshed tears as she nodded, leaning back against her seat once more as the two of them fell into a comfortable silence.

 

000

 

Later that evening, Carol and Michonne were sitting in Ezekiel’s chambers with Judith and some of the younger children, listening to the dreadlocked leader continue his story from the previous night. Looking around at the delighted faces, Carol couldn’t help but think of the children she’d lost since they had all been plunged into this chaotic world. She imagined how Sophia would have settled here. She’d been such a sweet little girl, one who would have thrived in this new community they’d built together. She would have loved being a big sister, and Daryl would have adored her, too...if only she was still here... _if only_ …

 

Another child’s face projected inside her mind; the image causing the beautiful face of her daughter to slowly fade away. In her place, Lizzie blazed...her wild eyes bright with delight while she held a bloody knife in her fingers. Carol clamped her eyes closed in a bid to rid the haunting memories which still plagued her every single day. She knew in her heart Lizzie had been a sick little girl; one who hadn’t been built for a world like this. Should she have just left her to wander on her own to be eaten by the Terminus people? Or what if she’d met the Saviours first? What would have happened to a child like Lizzie who’d been mentally unstable? She didn’t want to think of the possibilities...she didn’t want to think of that time at all.

 

A sound from behind them caused her to turn her head to see what had disturbed their peaceful story time sanctuary. Shifting to her side, her eyes flared with delight when she saw who had caused the disturbance, and her smile almost split her face in two.

 

_“Daryl,”_ she gasped happily, unaware how her voice had risen enough to cause all of the children in the room to turn around to see what she was doing.

 

Grabbing onto the back of her chair, Carol pushed against it and heaved herself out of the seat. She only managed to move slowly these days...with her swollen ankles and widened girth, she felt rather like a beached whale most of the time. Within seconds he was by her side, helping her to stand as he slipped an arm around her waist .

 

“Hey,” he told her gruffly, his eyes twinkling with warmth the moment he saw her. “Easy…”

 

Carol slipped her arm around his back and leant into his side. His warmth seeped into her body and his closeness calmed her senses. He was home...he was back here with her and she could finally breathe.

 

For a few moments they lingered in each others space, both oblivious to the several sets of eyes watching their reunion. Carol opened her mouth to tell him she wanted him to take her home, when their unborn child kicked out, his tiny foot jabbing not just his mother but his father too. Both looked down at Carol’s contorting stomach with surprise until Daryl snorted with laughter. He laid his palm flat against her belly as he tried to soothe their restless child, but it seemed the baby was too excited to hear its father’s voice.

 

“Ow,” Carol winced when the little person inside her decided to change direction, this time jabbing her in the ribs. Carol chased the movements with her fingers, trying to coax the little hand or foot downwards but the baby was having none of it.

 

“C’mon,” Daryl whispered as he nuzzled his lips against her ear. “Got a surprise for ya at home.”

 

“A surprise hmm?” she asked, unable to stop the soft chuckle when she knew exactly what his surprises consisted of.

 

“ _Not_ that,” he grinned, his cheeks flushing crimson when he lifted his eyes and realised they weren’t exactly alone. “Uh...c’mon, let’s get outta here.”

 

Carol followed his gaze and found herself looking at several sets of curious eyes. For a moment she watched them like a deer caught in headlights, until she heard Ezekiel’s authoritative voice break through the silence. Catching his eyes, she smiled in thanks before she turned back to the man beside her, ushering him towards the door and out of the room.

 

Once they were out in the cool night air, Carol pulled him to a stop and flung herself forward to press her lips to his. Something about the kiss was almost desperate, as if she was kissing him after months spent apart. When they finally pulled away, Daryl looked down at her slightly dazed.

 

“Wha…”

 

“I missed you,” she told him with a smile, until their child once again ruined the moment to break them apart. “I _think_ someone else missed you too.”

 

Lowering both of his hands onto her stomach, Daryl couldn’t help but marvel how quickly he’d fallen in love with this whole situation. Having a child wasn’t something he’d thought he would ever experience, but he hadn’t thought he would ever fall in love either…

 

“Hey, stop kickin’ yer momma,” he scolded, grinning widely when he was rewarded with a strong kick against his palm. “Nah...see, told ya he ain’t gonna listen to me!”

 

_“Great!”_ she scoffed. “Two Dixon men who _won’t_ listen to me!”

 

“ _Hey_ , I listen to ya,” he smirked, pulling his hands away so he could slip an arm across her shoulders. “And so will _he_.”

 

Carol’s eyes glistened with unshed tears; he never ceased to amaze her with his supportive tones. Even though he insisted he hadn’t done anything special, but to her, it was everything.

 

“So…” she smiled, hoping he wouldn’t see the tears in her eyes. “What’s my surprise?”

 

His grin almost split his face in two as he nudged against her side, moving them forward. They began their slow pace, walking in a comfortable silence while the sounds of the night filled the air around them. When they approached their cabin, Carol glanced across at him while they walked, their hips bumping against each other. She couldn’t believe how happy she was right now...here she was, a woman who had been virtually invisible, transformed into someone who meant something to someone else.

 

“C’mon,” he told her as he pecked his lips against her temple. “It’s inside.”

 

Carol smiled happily when he withdrew his arm and moved a little way in front, reaching behind him to take her hand instead. She half expected him to make her wear a blindfold while he led her up the three small steps which led up to the door open. She followed him inside, unable to see what this big surprise was, until he bypassed the living area to lead her towards the bedrooms. Her eyes twinkled when she looked at him, giggling with mirth as she teased him.

 

“I _thought_ you said my surprise wasn’t sex…If that’s the surprise...” Carol’s voice trailed away when they came to a stop just outside the nursery, and she looked at him questioningly until he pushed the door open so she could look inside.

.

“Go on,” he urged, ushering her forward until she stepped over the threshold. “Go look.”

 

She was going to ask him why he was so secretive, but her words seemed to melt away when she saw her surprise. Turning to look at him, her eyes filled with tears as she squeezed his fingers and moved towards the carved wooden crib Maggie had gifted to them. She wasn’t expecting to have it here until after the baby was born, but he’d brought it here to surprise her...and she loved him even more because of it.

 

“It’s as beautiful as I remember,” she gushed, dipping her fingertips into the deeply carved indentations. “Daryl...I…”

 

A rustle behind them had her turning around again, only this time she couldn’t contain the tears which seemed to spill from her eyes like a steady torrent. There, standing in the doorway to their child’s room stood Maggie, smiling happily and crying just as much as she did. Hershel was a sleeping bundle in her arms and she looked so beautiful.

 

“Hi Carol,” she managed through happy tears. “We’re here…”

 

“Maggie,” Carol gasped, looking between Daryl and Maggie with so many questions but all she could do was move forward. Holding out her arms she took Hershel and nestled him against her chest while she leaned into Maggie’s one armed embrace. “You’re here...I can’t believe you’re here…”

 

“We are.”

 

Carol lowered her lips onto Hershel’s head and nuzzled his soft skin, relishing the feel of a newborn in her arms once more. When she pulled away, her mouth curved into another beaming smile. She glanced back at Daryl who came to stand by her side to peer down at the baby in her arms.

 

“Looks like his daddy,” he nodded, the husk in his voice failing to hide how he still felt responsible for Glenn’s death. “He’s gettin’ big.”

 

“He is,” Maggie agreed, lifting her eyes into Carol’s warm gaze. “That’s why we’ve decided to come to the Kingdom...me _and_ Hershel…”

 

“Maggie…” Carol gasped out, hoping she’d heard what she thought she’d heard. “Does this mean…are you...”

 

“Yes, it does,” Maggie told her with a watery smile as she leaned into her side. “We’re home...”

tbc


	27. Chapter 27

The two women grinned at each other when Carol gestured towards the open door. Nodding, Maggie turned and made her way out of the nursery and back into the small living area, Carol and Daryl following behind.

 

“Sit,” Carol told her with a smile as she handed the baby to Daryl so she could lower herself down into one of the two chairs. Maggie followed, taking a seat on the small couch beside Carol’s chair.

 

“You’re looking so well,” Maggie beamed. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Fat!” Carol chuckled. “I can’t see my feet anymore...I feel like I’m the size of a house, and I’m ready for this all to be over.”

 

“Yep! In fact, _you_ are a house in which a small person lives!” Maggie agreed, her lips widening into a smile. “The last few weeks seem to take forever. I had so many false alarms...I started to think he would never arrive!”

 

“I was four days late with Sophia,” Carol told her, nodding her head emphatically as she rested her hands over her stomach. “So I’m not expecting this one to come any time soon.”

 

Maggie’s gaze shifted onto Daryl who was holding Hershel in his arms and swaying. Her warm smile caused Carol to follow her gaze, and for a few moments, both women simply watched the gruff looking hunter with the tiny baby in his arms. Carol smiled and turned back towards the woman beside her. She could see the welling tears in Maggie’s eyes, and for a moment all she wanted to do was reach out for her and hold on for dear life. She wished she could bring Glenn back for her. She wished she could erase Negan and everything he stood for, but she couldn’t.

 

“I’m okay,” Maggie whispered softly as she swiped at her eyes. “Sometimes I just wish…”

 

“I know, honey,” Carol told her, reaching out to clasp hold of her hand. “We do, too.”

 

“That’s one of the reasons I decided to come here. I don’t want Hershel to grow up without family...and if we stayed at Hilltop to be close to Glenn, Hershel wouldn’t know who his real family is...and I want him to grow up in a happy place where he’ll get to know his cousins, and be with his family.” Squeezing Carol’s fingers, Maggie swallowed hard in a bid to stop the welling tears from falling. “I’m...tired of being...sad.”

 

“Glenn wouldn’t want you to be sad, sweetie,” Carol told her softly, swiping defiantly at her own eyes. “He would want you to be safe and in a place where you know you’re loved and wanted...I’m so glad you’re here with us.”

 

“I am, too,” Maggie’s lower lip wobbled a little but she sucked in a deep shuddering breath. “No more crying...we’ve already done too much of that.”

 

“No more crying,” Carol agreed, nodding her head as she clasped Maggie’s fingers between hers. “It’s a new beginning for all of us now.”

 

“Hey, when you two are done with yer cryin’,” Daryl spoke, his nose crinkled a little as he moved closer to Maggie. “Little man here smells kinda ripe.”

 

Maggie couldn’t help but laugh when Daryl held out the baby towards her as if he was some kind of toxic mess. When she held her arms out for her son, the unmistakable whiff wafting from his diaper caused her, too, to wrinkle her nose in a bid to avoid the smell.

 

“You know, you could change him,” she grinned, her wet eyes crinkling with mirth when he practically took two steps backwards. “You’ll have to get used to dirty diapers.”

 

“Yeah...well we’ve still got a few weeks before that happens, so I’ll pass,” he told her as he held up his hands. “I’m gonna go check if your new place is ready for you and the boy.”

 

“Thanks Daryl,” Maggie grinned as she got up and pulled the baby’s changing bag from his stroller. She could see Carol’s look of surprise when she hadn’t spotted it, but she had been careful to conceal it from Carol. She’d wanted her presence to be a total surprise when Daryl had brought Carol home, and Maggie silently congratulated herself for actually pulling it off.. Moving back towards the couch, she held the bag out to Carol before sitting back down. Lowering Hershel onto the couch, she began to unfasten the poppers on his romper suit.

 

“Don’t have to thank me,” Daryl told her with a shrug of his shoulders. “S’what families are supposed to do.”

 

Maggie smiled brightly as she lifted her gaze from her infant son and up to him. He’d never taken thank-yous very well, even back at the farm. He was a different kind of man... one of the very best.

 

“I want to,” she told him happily before she returned her attention to her baby son. “And thanks for finding stuff to furnish our place. I didn’t have anything I could really call my own back at Hilltop.”

 

“None of us have,” Carol sighed as she unzipped the bag to pull a bottle of water and a square of cut up towel out, and handed it to Maggie. “But I guess we live in a world where possessions aren’t all that important anymore.”

 

“Carol’s right.” Reaching out to Carol’s arm, Daryl tapped her shoulder and waited for her to look up at him. “Gonna be gone a while. Ya gonna be okay here?”

 

Reaching up, Carol laid her fingers over his on her shoulder and offered him a dazzling smile. Nodding her head, she held onto him for a few more moments, until he slowly started to pull away. She hadn’t seen him for most of the day and even though he was still in the community, not too far away, she found her heart aching for him anyway. How could she have ever thought what she’d felt for Ed in better days had been love? Being with Daryl was so much more...intense. She felt so bound to him, so connected...this...what they shared...was true love.

 

“You know, I wish Glenn was here for a lot of things,” Maggie’s voice drifted through Carol’s thoughts and she slowly turned back around, watching her questioningly. The younger woman was busily cleaning Hershel with the towel and water, and Carol wondered if she’d spoken at all.

 

“Huh?”

 

Reaching forward, Maggie’s lips widened into a smile as she peered into the changing bag on Carol’s lap and pulled out a clean diaper.

 

“I said,” Maggie repeated while she busily opened out the diaper with expertise. “I wish Glenn was here to see us, and not just Hershel and me.”

 

Carol watched while Maggie finished changing the baby, wondering where this conversation was leading. Losing Glenn had hit all of them pretty hard, and she still felt an immense amount of guilt knowing she hadn’t been there when he’d died...if she hadn’t have killed so many saviours when they’d captured her and Maggie, then maybe Negan wouldn’t have been so set on punishing them...but...from what she’d heard and seen of Negan, she doubted he would have cared. The man had been an egotistical asshole...much like the one she’d been married to. Maggie’s voice drifted through her thoughts and Carol looked up to focus on the younger woman.

 

“He would have gotten such a kick out of seeing you two do this,” she grinned, lifting her eyes to Carol’s briefly before she lowered them back onto her son. When she’d finished redressing him, she refastened the poppers and lifted him up to kiss his chubby cheek, holding him close for a few beautiful seconds. The stench of the dirty diaper seemed to swamp the room, so she handed the baby over to Carol before bending to pick up the offending item and dirty towel.

 

“There’s a bucket of water outside for the soiled laundry,” Carol told her as she brought Hershel closer to press her lips to his cheek. “You can throw the dirty diaper in the trash can out back. Daryl and some of the others take all the unuseable garbage to the fire pit every couple of days.”

 

“Even this?” Maggie asked, raising her hand with the diaper.

 

“We’ve got a few babies here, and the dirty diapers are all put together in one of the bigger garbage cans. They take them out of the Kingdom and dump them into one of the dugouts to burn them there.”

 

“Doesn’t that draw in the herds?” Maggie asked as she got up from the couch.

 

“They never stay long enough,” Carol shrugged, her eyes dropping down to the baby in her arms. “It’s been a good system so far.”

 

“It seems it,” Maggie nodded in agreement as she moved towards the door. “Back at Hilltop we started to try and recycle as much as we could.”

 

“Yeah, here too...but there’s not a lot of waste,” lifting Hershel against her shoulder, Carol rubbed his back and nuzzled her cheek against his hair. Lifting her eyes to Maggie’s, she could see the other woman watching her curiously. “There’s a compost over near the fields for any of the food waste, but the other stuff we can’t recycle is burned in the fire pits.”

 

“Makes you appreciate all the things we took for granted in the old world, doesn’t it?”

 

“It does,” Carol smiled, “But I think we appreciate things now more than ever.”

 

“Yeah, I think so, too.” Glancing down at the diaper, Maggie looked up again and turned to leave the room. “I’ll get rid of these.”

 

“Okay,” Carol grinned, her attention drawn back to the baby nestled against her shoulder. “We’ll be here.”

 

000

 

It was sometime later when Daryl emerged from the cabin which was set up to be Maggie’s and Hershel’s new home. He’d found some basic furniture they’d stored under a makeshift tarpaulin tent to furnish it. Some of it had been taken from some of the old houses Ezekiel had told him and Carol about...but with so many of them in disrepair, he hadn’t wanted Carol or their child to live in a dilapidated building which could fall down at any minute. So, with the help of some of the others, the houses had been stripped of anything usable until there came a time when they had enough manpower to either rebuild them or tear them down.

 

Most of his time these last few months had been spent on the outside. He’d been taking groups out to hunt on a regular basis...he’d been training with the younger kids and scavenging for anything suitable to place in each of the new cabins. But with Carol so close to giving birth, he’d opted for staying close by, securing the fences around the west walls where the undead were congregating. There were enough of the other men good enough to go out hunting now. His place was here by Carol’s side.

 

“Daryl…”

 

Hearing someone call his name, he looked up to see Rick walking towards him with a sombre look on his face.

 

“Hey,” Daryl nodded. “You’re back already?”

 

“Yeah...I went to Hilltop but Jesus told me Maggie and Hershel had come here, so I left.”

 

“Yeah, when I went to get the crib she told me she was ready to come back with me,” Daryl wiped his hands on his jeans and made his way towards Rick. “This one’s gonna be hers.”

 

Rick’s eyes drifted towards the newly built cabin before lowering his gaze onto the man before him. “Good...it’s good to have her here.”

 

“Yeah, it is,” Daryl agreed, hating how things were still kind of strained between them. “Family should be together.”

 

Rick swallowed hard at the lump in his throat and opened his mouth to apologise, but Daryl spoke before he could even get any words out.

 

“I still don’t agree with what ya did,” Daryl’s voice was rough as he spoke, his eyes focused on the dirt around Rick’s feet. “But I know why ya did it.”

 

“Daryl…”

 

“Look, I just hate how things are now,” Daryl told him, lifting his eyes to focus on Rick’s teary gaze. “What ya did...I ain’t gonna ever be okay with it, but we’re family...and family needs to stick together.”

 

“Daryl, about Negan...I…”

 

“It’s done,” Daryl told him, holding his hands up to silence whatever Rick was going to say. “That fucker can rot in whatever hell hole ya stuck him in. As long as he stays there…”

 

_“HE’S DEAD,”_ Rick blurted, moving closer to Daryl as he spoke. “I found him when I went back to Alexandria...his throat was cut.”

 

Daryl chewed on his bottom lip as he processed what Rick was telling him. Negan was dead?

 

“I put him down,” Rick continued, watching the man beside him for any signs he’d known about this. “Whoever did it…”

 

“Who the _fuck_ cares who did it?” Daryl snapped, his voice hissing through his lips. “That fucker got what was comin’ to him, and I hope whoever did it made sure he knew it, too.”

 

“Daryl…”

 

“Wait...ya think _I_ did it, don’t ya?” Daryl growled. “That why ya came back early? Ya think I had time to find out where ya was keepin’ him and then went to kill the fucker myself? Is that what ya think of me?”

 

“No…” shaking his head emphatically, Rick tried to calm the situation by placing a hand on Daryl’s shoulder. “No...that’s not it…”

 

“Then what?” Daryl asked, his voice etched in annoyance. “If yer gonna start accusin’ anyone else, ya better have a damn good reason for doin’ it.”

 

“That’s just it,” Rick told him, gripping onto Daryl’s shoulder a little more tightly. “I don’t care...in fact, whoever did it...maybe they were right to do what I failed to do when I could have ended it.”

 

Daryl’s mouth clamped shut and he held himself a little higher, pulling himself away from Rick’s grip. Taking a step backwards, he regarded Rick with a suspicious air.

 

“So...now, after _all_ this time…”

 

“Yes,” Rick nodded, taking a step closer. “I made a mistake by keeping him alive. I know that now...not just because of the extra rations it cost Alexandria, but because it cost me the trust of my family.”

 

Daryl averted his eyes. He didn’t know what to believe anymore, not when Rick had been so determined to keep Negan alive only months before. Swallowing at the lump forming in his throat, he lifted his eyes back onto the man who was watching him with so much sadness.

 

“So, that’s _it_ now?” he asked. “You find Negan dead and then you _what_...just have this _notion_ how you were wrong _and_ everyone else was right?”

 

“I…”

 

“Nah, _I_ ain’t buyin’ it.” Shaking his head, Daryl stepped away from Rick before he could touch him and began to pace back and forth. “Is this you tryin’ to find out if any of _us_ did it? Is that it? Ya wanna see if I say somethin’ so you can make up yer mind _I_ was the one? Gonna toss me out on my ass _just_ like ya did to Carol?”

 

_“What?”_ Rick gasped. “ _No_...no…”

 

“Then what, _Rick?_ ” Daryl spat angrily. “Why now? Ya left here not two days ago with yer mind set on keepin’ that fucker alive, and now ya just suddenly change yer mind…”

 

“ _No_ , it’s not what you think.” Rick was becoming exasperated. He’d thought if he just admitted to everyone he’d been wrong...if he’d just taken the blame for his mistakes… “I didn’t just have this revelation while I was putting a bullet through Negan’s head. I was feeling this before, and not just a few days ago, but a few weeks... _months_ even…”

 

“So why didn’t ya say anythin’ before now?”

 

“Because I _knew_ what you’d think,” Rick told him, urging him to listen to what he was trying to say. “I knew it when Hershel was born. I looked at that little boy and all I could see was Glenn. I promised Maggie I would kill Negan for what he did, but I guess I lost sight of that with everything going on around us...but seeing the baby...and knowing he’ll never know his father because of someone…”

 

When his voice trailed away, Daryl stood silently watching. He could see how Rick’s mouth seemed to open and close, as if he was trying to say the words in the right order. Part of him felt a little sorry for the man who was standing before him. Rick was so far from the man he’d been when they’d first met. So much loss and pain weighed heavily over his shoulders, just as it did for every single person who had survived through the apocalypse. There wasn’t one person alive now who hadn’t lost someone to this new world...

 

“Go on,” Daryl nodded, folding his arms across his chest.

 

“Someone I was protecting was responsible for that little boy growing up without his father,” Rick blurted, his eyes filling with tears as he spoke. “And then I thought of Carl, and how he’d wanted us to build a community, and I realised I had only done half of what I’d promised him. I told him I would take care of all of you, but by keeping Negan alive, I wasn’t...and I need to prove to myself and to Carl that I can do what he asked…”

 

“If Negan wasn’t dead then…”

 

“Then I would still feel the same way,” Rick whispered, swiping at the wetness in his eyes. “I want my brother back, Daryl. I want my family back.”

 

Daryl sighed heavily as he looked up towards the cloudless sky. So much had happened since the world had gone to shit...they had all lost so much already. Forgiveness wasn’t one of Daryl’s stronger traits, but he could forgive...he _had_ to, not just for himself but for his unborn child too. Lowering his eyes, he regarded the man before him with muted affection. They’d been through too much...seen too much...and survived death together on more than one occasion…

 

“Heading back home if ya wanna come see Maggie,” he muttered, unfolding his arms as he turned from Rick to begin walking away.

 

Rick swallowed heavily, already feeling the weight in his chest lift just a little. He kept his gaze focused on Daryl’s retreating form, caught between wanting to walk with him or turning to flee. When Daryl looked behind him, calling out his name, Rick knew he had his answer. Within seconds he was moving, rushing to catch up with the rough looking redneck, feeling lighter than he had in a very long time.

 

000

 

Carol leaned back in her chair and watched how Maggie stood, gently rocking Hershel from side to side. Her soft voice hummed to him while she gazed down at his fluttering eyes. Carol sighed as she thought of how far they’d all come. When she and Maggie had been captured by the saviours, she’d never imagined how they could have gone from that well of devastation, to the peace and happiness they found themselves feeling now. How had they even made it this far?

 

“He’s asleep,” Maggie spoke, her voice a soft hush. “I’ll put him down in his stroller.”

 

“You can use the baby’s crib if he’d be more comfortable,” Carol told her as she struggled to pull herself forward. With a groan, she pushed herself up and out of the chair, until she was standing on shaky legs.

 

“No, it’s okay,” Maggie chuckled when she lowered her sleeping son into his stroller which was lowered fully back. “He sleeps better in here.”

 

Carol watched her for a few moments and nodded silently. She remembered how Sophia had only seemed to settle in her stroller too. She’d never seemed to sleep well in her crib, but with Ed’s volatile temper, Carol had always preferred to keep her daughter where they’d been easily able to flee if necessary. On many occasions after she’d been recovering from a black eye or a split lip, Carol had always been used to taking Sophia out as soon as Ed had passed out, but like a fool, she’d always gone back to him... _always_ …

 

“Hey,” Maggie’s voice brought Carol out of her memories, and she looked up to see the other woman watching her worriedly. “Are you okay? Is it the baby?”

 

“No,” Carol shook her head, forcing herself to smile even though her heart was hammering inside her chest. “Just...remembering some things I wish I could forget.”

 

“I know how that feels,” Maggie sighed, her sympathetic eyes sparkling with unshed tears. “I can never unsee Glenn...and what…”

 

“I’m so sorry, honey,” Carol stepped closer and laid her hand over Maggie’s arm. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

 

“You didn’t,” Maggie shook her head, swallowing hard against the lump in her throat.

 

“But…”

 

“Negan _chose_ to kill Glenn. It wasn’t you, or Daryl...or Rick...who hit Glenn with that...bat. Negan did it all. He’s the one who lined us all up and…”

 

“Maggie,” Carol’s voice shook as he spoke, wishing she could erase the pain she could see in Maggie’s eyes. “I wish...I…”

 

“He can’t hurt _anyone_ anymore,” Maggie told her, lifting her eyes to focus on something behind Carol.

 

Carol turned, her eyes falling on Daryl who had come to a stop in the doorway, followed closely by Rick. Turning back around, Carol held her breath, noting how Maggie’s eyes had suddenly grown a shade darker.

 

“Maggie…” Carol started, shaking her head slowly from side to side. “Please tell me you didn’t…”

 

But when Maggie didn’t answer...her eyes cold and unseeing...Carol knew right in that moment...Maggie had been the one to end Negan...ending him once and for all.

tbc


	28. Chapter 28

Both men came to a complete stop just inside the door. Maggie’s haunting voice hung in the air, and Daryl turned his head sharply to gauge Rick’s reaction. The former sheriff’s eyes were wide and his face grew pale when the implications of the overheard conversation became clear. Even though neither of them wanted to accept the fact Negan had been killed by someone who was close to their family, hearing Maggie’s confession sent a barrage of shockwaves which would hit everyone connected to this.

 

Holding his hand up to prevent Rick from entering the room, Daryl shook his head and held him back as he turned his head to see the woman he loved looking pale and just as shocked as they were. He could see she was shaken, and not just because of Negan, but because Maggie could have easily been killed in her bid for vengeance. Hershel was still a babe in arms; he needed his mother...and the mere act of Maggie going out on her own to make sure Negan would never see the light of day, caused worry to course through him. Was this the reason why Maggie suddenly decided she needed to move to the kingdom? When Maggie spoke again, he stood, transfixed, listening to something he really didn’t want to hear...but he had no choice but to stand there with Rick and listen to what was undoubtedly her confession.

 

“I had the baby with me…” Maggie all but whispered as her eyes glazed over with memories. “Alexandria needed supplies so I told Jesus I wanted to take them...I told him I wanted to take Hershel to see Tara...but I knew... _suspected_...Rick had hidden Negan there.”

 

Carol kept her gaze focused on the younger woman, waiting for her to break at any moment. But whatever horrors she was reliving in her mind, Carol knew she had to be here for her. No matter what she’d done, she was family…just how Carol herself was still family, even after what she had done. Two little girls flashed in her mind, one happy and smiling, the other covered in blood. The stench of the memory filled her. The sounds of that day echoed in her ears even though she’d tried to block them out. She had her own demons to conquer, but this wasn’t about her right now. Maggie’s words quashed the images rampaging around inside Carol’s head, and she welcomed the intrusion as she listened to the younger woman’s voice.

 

“So...when I got there, Tara was so happy to see us,” Maggie smiled at the memory, but her happiness faded just as quickly. “She took Hershel into the house to show her new girlfriend and they asked me to stay...so I…”

 

“Go on,” Carol soothed, trying desperately to stop the quiver in her voice. “It’s okay to tell me, honey...it really is…”

 

“Even though I went there to kill him?” Maggie asked tearfully as she turned to look at her. “I knew what I had to do. It _had_ to be me...after what he did...I _had_ to...”

 

“We’ve all done things, Maggie,” Carol told her in a gentle voice. “So many horrible things we wished we hadn’t…”

 

“Oh I _wanted_ to do it...I _wanted_ him dead,” Maggie told her quickly, cutting off her comforting words. “I went there to find him so I could look him in the eye while I did it...but...he just stood there...he didn’t say a word to me when I told him I was there to kill him…”

 

“Maggie…”

 

“I don’t even remember doing it,” Maggie swallowed hard as she closed her eyes. “Tara was fussing over the baby so I told her I was going to see some of the others if she didn’t mind watching him...she was so happy...so... _trusting_...and then I asked a few people about Rick’s visits...and, that’s when I found out about the basement in the old house we all stayed in.”

 

Carol drew in a sharp breath and wanted desperately to reach out to the woman beside her but she was afraid of breaking the spell. Maggie’s eyes slowly opened and a slow tear carved a wet track down her cheek.

 

“He was sitting in a chair when I arrived...so _damned_ smug...He looked at me and he had this look in his eyes, _like_ he... _knew_...and that’s when he did it…” Maggie took a shaky breath and tried to control the tremble in her body as she recounted that day. “He smiled...the _bastard_ smiled...and all I could see were the lost smiles Hershel won’t see from his daddy. Glenn is dead because of him and I just lost it. I used Glenn’s knife...it seemed... _right_...and the next thing I knew he was holding his hands to his throat...and he _just_...fell...I didn’t stay to watch him die...I didn’t want him to have anyone there to be with him at the end. I wanted his last moments to be empty…”

 

“Maggie…” Carol whispered her name, hoping she could bring her friend back from the painful memories which plagued her, but Maggie wasn’t done. Her eyes closed again briefly as she swiped at her face. When she opened them again, she looked upwards and kept her gaze on the ceiling.

 

“I took my shirt off and tossed it in the trash...and I... _I_ washed my hands in the community water well...then, I grabbed the spare shirt from Hershel’s diaper bag...and then I went back to Tara’s like nothing had happened...”

 

Daryl and Rick had listened to Maggie’s recounted tale in silence, both of them too afraid to move. Daryl was so caught up in his own memories he was too late to stop Rick when he stepped around him to make his way tentatively into the room. Daryl reached out to try and stop him but Rick shook his hand away. Daryl’s senses were on high alert, knowing exactly how unpredictable Rick could be when his self made authority was threatened. He didn’t want him anywhere near Carol if he was going to berate Maggie for doing the one thing he’d failed to do. So, moving further into the room, he made his way to Carol and stood protectively by her side.

 

Carol swallowed heavily and turned to see the man she loved beside her, standing like a protective warrior, ready to defend her at any moment. Offering him what she hoped was a reassuring smile, she returned her gaze back onto Maggie who had become uncharacteristically quiet. Carol wanted to reach for her. She wanted to tell her everything would be okay, but with everything the young woman had dealt with in so short a time, Carol was worried the shock of it all would finally break her. 

 

Rick moved a little closer to the two women, his gaze focused solely on Maggie as she stood stock still. Her eyes were glazed over and she seemed to be staring into nothingness. He watched silently when Carol reached out to brush her fingertips across Maggie’s arm. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion, and his head throbbed with the implications. Maggie had gone into a potentially dangerous situation, so soon after giving birth...and she’d done it because he hadn’t done what he’d promised her. _Him_...he was the cause of it all... He didn’t know what to do now. He’d made such an issue of keeping Negan alive when he should have listened to everyone’s concerns. He’d failed them...his family, _all_ of them. His eyes filled with tears when he saw how Maggie reacted to Carol’s touch. The younger woman seemed to emerge from her trance-like state to cast her wary eyes in his direction.

 

“Maggie?” Rick’s voice shook as he spoke. Holding out his hand towards her, he tried to offer her some kind of reassurances, but she moved away from him before he could reach her. “Maggie...what...you did...it...”

 

“I _did_ what _you_ couldn’t,” she hissed, her face crumbling into tears. Shaking her head from side to side, she gasped for breath but couldn’t seem to stay upright. Her knees buckled and she crumbled to the floor, rocking herself back and forth as she wrapped her arms around her own body. “You _promised_ me...while _you_ stood over Glenn’s body...you promised.”

 

Carol could feel her own tears building when she saw her friend in so much distress. Hadn’t they all suffered enough already by Negan’s hand? The man was dead and yet he was still causing chaos in his wake. Sniffing back the welling emotion, she placed a comforting hand on Maggie’s shoulder, trying desperately to support her as her eyes flitted between Maggie and Rick. Only a few hours ago she’d been ready to welcome Daryl home and continue with their happy life, but now...She knew Rick’s behaviour could be erratic, especially when he thought he was right. Hell, he’d thrown her out when she’d taken measures to try and stop the flu from spreading through the prison...what was he likely to do to Maggie now he knew she’d killed too?

 

His words, when they came, caused Carol to swallow down the bitter taste of irritation when he eased a little closer to the two of them. She could feel her anger spiking, but Daryl’s comforting touch made her bite her tongue, at least for now. There was still so much left unsaid between them, but she’d given him the forgiveness he’d asked for instead of calling him out on his behaviour.

 

“I know...I _know_ , I promised…” As he spoke he edged a little closer, his eyes red rimmed with unshed tears. “I’m so sorry...Maggie…”

 

Daryl reached for Carol’s hand and gave her a gentle tug towards him. The last thing he wanted was for her to be exposed to any more stress. Carol clung to his hand, interlocking their fingers together as she kept her focus on Rick and Maggie. Daryl knew Rick needed to make amends for the mistakes he’d made, lord knows there were so many of them. What he’d done to Carol was unforgivable, but her blood pressure was already high, and this added stress wasn’t any good for her _or_ the baby.

 

“C’mon,” he muttered, lowering his mouth to her ear. “We’ll go for a walk while the two of ‘em hash it out.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere,” she told him adamantly, shaking her head from side to side as she released his hand. “This is _our_ home.”

 

“No, it’s okay,” Rick’s voice caused the two of them to halt their movements, his gaze lifting to Carol for the first time since he’d arrived. “There won’t be any trouble, at least, not from _me_...it’s over...Maggie did what she thought she needed to do…”

 

A calming wave of relief washed over her as she turned to Rick, reassured he wouldn’t do to Maggie what he’d done to her back at the prison. Though the relief was mixed with anger, the disappointment she felt, because he hadn’t decided differently back then, still hurt.

 

“Maggie was right to do what she did, but you weren’t right to do what you did to me.” The hostility in Carol’s voice took both Daryl and Rick by surprise. Her eyes focused on the man who had shown very little remorse for throwing her out of the prison when she’d tried protect their family. “Maggie’s grieving...she did what she felt she needed to do to help her through the pain...I _understand_ that...but, what about me?. You’ve changed your mind but why _now?_ ”

 

“Carol...I…” holding his hand out to her, she knocked it away with an angry swipe.

 

“What about when I did what _I_ thought I needed to do?” she spat. “I tried to stop the spread of a disease that was wiping out half of the prison. I did something _you_ couldn’t do. Why didn’t you show _me_ the same consideration?”

 

“Carol…”

 

“Save it _Rick_ ,” she snapped, holding her hand up to silence him before he could speak. “It’s done. You can’t change it now...but if you think I’ll _ever_ forget it, you’re mistaken. I’m just glad you won’t let Maggie suffer the way I did!”

 

“Look...I know I did some things in the past,” he tried again, his gaze flitting between Carol and the top of Maggie’s head. “I know I’ve made some bad choices, and I’ve hurt both of you because of them...but, can we just start over? _All_ of us?”

 

“You think it’s that simple?” Maggie asked in a small voice, lifting her head to look up at him. Climbing to her feet, she watched him intently, her bright eyes sparkling with tears. “Why aren’t you threatening to banish me like you did to Carol? I killed Negan... _me_...I did it.”

 

“I...Maggie…”

 

Daryl reached forward and wrapped his arm around Carol’s shoulder, trying desperately to pull her away. He knew she was upset, and Rick usually was at the root of most of her moods lately...but she refused to move.

 

“I’m okay,” she told him reassuringly when she lifted her eyes up to his. “We need to do this. Things have been left unsaid for so long.”

 

“I know,” Daryl nodded, shifting a little closer to her side. “But yer supposed to be restin’ and the doc told us ya have to avoid stress.”

 

Carol could hear the worry in his voice as he leant a little closer into her side. She was more hurt than angry by Rick’s actions. How could he forgive Maggie so easily when he hadn’t shown her the same compassion? Taking a breath, she calmed her tattered nerves and turned her head a little to fix her steady gaze on the two people who were at the centre of this latest altercation.

 

“Rick,” she started, keeping her voice calm as she spoke. “I’ll understand why you did what you did back at the prison, but it won’t ever change the way you... _betrayed_ me,” holding a hand up to silence him she shook her head as she took comfort from Daryl who was practically glued to her side. “You never expected to see me alive again, I knew it then and I know it for certain now. But you betrayed Daryl and Maggie...and so many others by keeping Negan alive...but again, I understand why you felt you had to do it.”

 

“Carol,” Rick started as an errant tears slipped over his cheek. “You _have_ to know...I’m so sorry...I…”

 

“I know you are,” she told him, her tone gentler this time. “But you can’t erase what you did to me and we will never be the same again, not how we were before you’d made your decision to send me into the unknown but you should learn from it. You’re _not_ the leader of this community. You’re not always right and you don’t make the rules here. You’re _just_ like us, people who are trying to build a better world for our children.”

 

Maggie’s soft voice filtered through the heaviness in the room, her words etched with sorrow as she looked between the two of them.

 

“I’m not sorry for what I did,” she all but whispered. “My son will never know his father because of Negan...but now I can look him in the eye and tell him honestly that I didn’t let his father's murderer go unpunished.”

 

Her words caused Rick to reach for her, desperate to hold onto the weeping woman. The two seemed to come together in one swift movement, clinging to each other as they both quietly sobbed. Leaning into Daryl’s chest, Carol could feel the steady thrum of his heartbeat beating against her back and she could feel the shift of emotions in the room. Things weren’t fixed by any means, and she doubted they ever would be for her, but for now, all of them could begin to heal.

 

Daryl ran his hand over the side of Carol’s belly and was immediately rewarded with a kick against his palm. Carol gasped when their child seemed to volley her with a succession of jabs to her ribs. Covering Daryl’s hand with her own, she guided him to just below her breast, placing his warm palm over their restless child. Out of the two of them, Daryl seemed to have a way to soothe their unborn baby, and she often wondered if it would react to him in the same way when he or she was born.

 

“He’s active today,” Daryl chuckled when a little foot knocked his hand away. “Wooah…”

 

“Try being kicked from the inside!” Carol told him with a wide smile. She could feel her mood lifting, and the anger from only moments ago was beginning to disperse. What was done was done. The past was over and it was time to move on with their lives.

 

“Rick,” she spoke his name, her soft voice causing him to pull out of Maggie’s embrace. “Let’s move on, okay...leave the past in the past?”

 

Rick released a shuddering breath and held his hand out to her. This time, instead of pushing him away, Carol moved forward and away from Daryl so she could grasp Rick’s fingers.

 

“Thank you,” he whispered shakily, caught between relief and tears. “Thank you… I know I was wrong when I sent you away, and I know I can’t erase what happened but I can ask you for forgiveness.”

 

Before she could respond, a child’s wail pierced the room and everything else seemed to melt away. Maggie rushed to the stroller and reached in to lift Hershel out from the covers, cooing softly to him as she settled him in her arms.

 

“Hey…” she hummed softly. “What’s wrong, my sweet boy…”

 

“Rick?”

 

Rick tore his gaze from Maggie to look back at Carol who was watching him with a small smile. “Why don’t you take Maggie and Hershel to their new home?”

 

Maggie settled Hershel against her shoulder and offered them a bright smile. The mood in the room had all but dispersed, and the subject of Negan and his untimely death wasn’t spoken of again. Releasing Carol’s hand, Rick nodded, eager to show Maggie and the others he had no intentions of doing anything other than settling down.

 

Handing the baby over to Rick, Maggie picked up Hershel’s changing bag before moving towards Carol to pull her into a one armed hug.

 

“Thank you,” she whispered tearfully as she slowly pulled away. “Thank you for everything.”

 

“Anytime, honey,” Carol told her with a watery smile. “Will we see you tonight for dinner?”

 

“Of course,” she beamed, nodding even as she pulled away to swipe at her cheeks. “We’ll both be here.”

 

Daryl nodded when Maggie held her hand out to him and squeezed his fingers. Neither of them spoke, they simply smiled at each other in mutual admiration. When she pulled her hand away, she made her way towards the door while she waited for Rick to follow. Unlike her, Rick was finding it a little harder to leave. He opened his mouth to apologise to Carol once more, but instead he moved forward to press his lips against her cheek. He lingered there for a few more moments until he stepped away. The two of them looked at each other, acceptance and love passing between them.

 

“See you tonight,” he promised as he moved to Daryl to pat his shoulder. The two men nodded to each other, communicating without words before Rick turned away and followed Maggie out of the house.

 

“You okay?” Daryl asked her when they were finally alone. “Ya look tired.”

 

“Hmm,” she sighed as she welcomed his arms around her. “Back’s aching...but I’m good.”

 

“Go and sit down,” he hummed, his lips grazing her ear. “I’ll get ya some tea.”

 

Carol’s lips widened into a smile when he kissed her temple before he moved away and made his way towards their kitchen. Her eyes stayed on his retreating form, watching until he was out of sight. Moving towards the couch, she eased herself down onto it and kicked off her shoes. The soft groan which escaped her lips brought Daryl back into the room, worry etched in his cobalt eyes.

 

“I’m fine,” she told him reassuringly, shaking off his concern with a wave of her hand. “Just looking forward to that tea.”

 

Shaking his head, Daryl chuckled as he retreated back into the kitchen. The charged atmosphere from a short time ago had all but dissipated now, and left in its wake was the happy existence he and Carol had found together...and as he reached for the mugs, he knew everything would be okay now...as long as Carol was by his side...they were going to be fine.

 

000

 

Later that evening, the upset from earlier seemed to have been put to the side, and Daryl couldn’t have been happier. Carol had been under way too much stress already and with her so close to having the baby, he didn’t want their child’s arrival to be clouded by Maggie’s confessions and the old memories which had come up with it.

 

Helping Carol up the three wooden steps which led to their house, Daryl pushed the door open and guided her inside. She moved a lot slower now, holding a hand over her lower back until they were fully inside the room.

 

“You wanna get ready for bed and I’ll make ya some tea?”

 

“Okay,” she told him with a smile which suddenly melted away when she felt a sharp twinge in her side.

 

“Y’okay?” he asked worriedly when he saw her face scrunch together in discomfort. “Do ya need me to help ya to bed?”

 

“No,” she shook her head, breathing out in a slow breath when the pain began to fade. “I’m okay...just having the practice pains...I’m okay.”

 

“Ya sure?” he asked dubiously, his eyes going from her stomach and back up to her eyes. “Want me to go fetch the doc?”

 

“No…” she chuckled, smiling at the panic in his eyes. “This is all normal. Don’t worry, I’m just going to get ready for bed.”

 

Daryl watched her suspiciously, torn between staying by her side and going into the kitchen to make her some tea like he always did. He knew she had done all of this before, but it didn’t stop him from worrying. Nodding, he waited until she started to move towards the hall which led to their bedroom before he made his way into the kitchen. He was pouring water into the cups when he heard it...a muffled sound which caused him to stand perfectly still.

 

He was totally unprepared for the urgent yell coming from the other room, and he instantly forgot all about the tea as he turned to rush out of the kitchen. What he saw made his heart leap straight into his throat and his eyes bulged in fear. There, standing in the middle of the room was Carol. She was looking at him with a strange look on her face and he was about to ask her what was wrong when he saw the puddle spreading around her feet.

 

“My water broke,” she gasped out, surprise evident in her eyes. “The baby’s coming…”

tbc


	29. Chapter 29

_"Fuck"_ Daryl gasped, panic already sparking in his eyes as he darted back and forth without actually knowing what to do first. "I...just… _stay_ there…"

 

"Where am I going to _go?_ " she asked him incredulously as she reached down to her swollen belly to spread her fingers wide. Taking a deep breath she was surprised by the sense of calm which seemed to wash over her. After what had happened when she’d gone into labour with Sophia, she’d expected to experience that same level of utter terror. Whether it was Daryl’s complete panic which was easing some of the tension, she didn’t know...but to see the man she loved becoming totally unravelled, seemed to take her mind away from the pain which was going to follow very soon.

 

"I need to get ya to the hospital," Daryl's voice rose when he frenziedly looked around the room, desperately trying to remember where they had put the bag she’d packed for her and the baby. "Yer bag? Where…”

 

"Daryl," Carol drew herself up straighter and pointed to the bedroom where the bag had been for the past week. In any other circumstances she would have teased him for his panicked state, but when she felt the stirrings of a mild contraction, she held her breath and waited for the intensity to hit.

 

"Ya need to sit…" his voice came out in a rush as he moved with lightning speed towards the bedroom, hitting his foot against the door along the way. Cursing quietly he tried to unscramble his brain as he frantically tried to remember all of the things they'd planned for when this happened.

 

Carol stood in the same spot; her amusement with Daryl’s complete meltdown causing her to momentarily forget her waters had just broken. Looking at the couch just behind her, she started to head towards it, instantly regretting her decision to move when a sudden spasm tore through her abdomen, forcing her to her knees. She tried to control her breathing, riding out the intensity of it as her insides gripped tighter. The agonizing ripples washed over her, peaking to a sharp, intense ache, to slowly subside a minute later. 

 

"Da...Daryl..." she moaned when she could already feel another wave of tightening which was slowly causing beads of sweat to form on her forehead. She couldn’t remember the contractions being this close together before, or this intense so soon. "You need…to get…the...doctor...I don’t think I can make it to the...hospital..."

 

“I can’t leave ya here like this," he told her in a rush as he came running back into the room, almost tripping over his own feet when he saw her bent over on the floor. Everything they had been preparing for was suddenly forgotten when fear took over to push everything else aside. “Gonna get ‘Chonne...she can stay with ya while I go find the doc...are ya gonna be…”

 

“Just _GO_ …” she growled lowly when the tightening in her lower belly began once more. A sob caught in her throat when she realised what she’d done, but before she could apologise, he was by her side.

 

Daryl was torn. He wanted desperately to stay with her, afraid if he left she was going to pass out before he could get back. He’d never seen her like this before and he was completely terrified. Kissing her forehead, he waited for just a few seconds before he rushed towards the front door. He pulled the door handle back abruptly, not caring how the wood groaned with the force of being yanked open so quickly. Carol watched his retreating form and suddenly felt the tightening in her belly ease away. Taking a deep breath, she began to crawl on her hands and knees...moving in slow, cumbersome movements which inched her closer to the couch. Reaching out to the cushions, her fingertips just grazed the soft material before she could feel another contraction building...Clamping her eyes closed, she waited for the tightness in her abdomen to take hold. This time, the contraction when it came, was milder than the previous one, and she allowed herself to rest for a few moments before she started to move again.

 

Opening her eyes, she managed to shuffle forward until she was level with the couch. Lifting her arms, she rested her upper body on the cushioned seat and allowed herself to sink into the soft foam. Laying her head on her forearms, she folded her knees beneath her and rested her backside on her ankles. For the next few minutes she welcomed the relief...and the ache in her lower back seemed to fade a little. But as she started to relax and think how so far everything wasn’t as bad as she’d remembered, another painful reminder gripped her abdomen.

 

This one took her by surprise. The intensity caused her to bury her face into the foam seat. Somewhere in the distance she thought she could hear someone screaming...and it only took her a few moments to realise the screaming had come from her. Lifting her head from the couch she scrunched her eyes shut and drew in a sharp breath. Where the hell was Daryl? It felt like he’d been gone for hours already, but when she heard the heavy thumping footsteps running into the house, she almost cried with relief.

 

“It’s okay,” Daryl soothed, trying to keep the tremor from his voice. “‘Chonne’s gone to find the doc...I didn’t wanna leave ya here on yer own…”

 

“Forgot...how much it...hurts…” she groaned out restlessly as she buried her face into her arms once more.

 

“What can I do?” he asked, desperate to help her in any way he could, but when she released a sound somewhere between a groan and a wail, he moved closer to try to soothe the pain away.

 

Daryl rubbed her back, smoothing his hand up and down her spine until she relaxed and slumped against him before she lifted her head. Her whole lower body was burning, and she could feel her previous calm state slowly slipping away when she remembered how this was exactly how it had felt the first time around.

 

"I think I need to..." she gasped again as another gripping pain pulsated through her abdomen, making it hard for her to catch her breath. Lifting her hips, she tried to ease the pressure building in her lower body, but it didn’t help. She could hear Daryl’s soothing voice, panicked and strained. Usually just hearing him calmed her, but right now it seemed to grate on her every last nerve..

 

Michonne came charging through the door. Her eyes flared wide when she saw Carol leaning against Daryl, her face contorted in pain.

 

“The doctor’s on his way,” her words came out in a rush when she saw the look of panic in Daryl’s eyes.Sinking to her knees beside her friends, she lowered her gaze back down to Carol and edged a little closer. “How are you doing, Carol?”

 

Carol opened her eyes and tried to focus on the woman beside her. Taking a breath, she managed to offer Michonne a strained smile. She could feel Daryl’s solid chest supporting her back, and for a moment she relished the short rest between contractions. Everything she’d prepared for with this baby, right down to how she was going to give birth, was quickly evaporating. The contractions seemed to come one after another, ranging from five minutes to two minutes apart...and the fear they brought with them caused her to remember the conversation she’d had with Maggie and Michonne a few months ago.

 

“They’re coming too fast...I don’t know if...” Carol shook her head as she tried to push those thoughts away and reached out to take Michonne’s offered hand. “If something happens...remember...what you promised me... _please_ …”

 

Michonne’s fingers wrapped around hers as she nodded her head despite feeling her eyes fill with tears. Carol’s voice seemed to break in that moment and her eyes glazed over once more. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead even before her breathing began to change.

 

“What did ya promise?” Daryl asked, his voice coming out in a wail. “‘Chonne...what _did_ ya promise?”

 

“We need to get her into the bedroom,” Michonne told him quietly, shaking her head when he opened his mouth to ask the same question again. Reaching forward, she placed a hand on his arm to silence him as she lifted herself up higher on her knees. Her sudden movements brought Daryl’s terror filled eyes up to hers but she was already lifting herself upwards. She wished she could tell Daryl this was the worst it would get, but she knew from her own experience with birthing her son, things would get more intense very quickly.

 

“Come on, Carol,” she soothed softly as she got to her feet to hook a gentle hand beneath Carol’s armpit. “Let’s get you more comfortable.”

 

Daryl followed her lead and clambered to his feet to stand on shaky legs. His heart was hammering inside his chest, and all he wanted to do was make Carol’s pain stop...but when he helped Michonne pull her up to stand, he could already feel the emotion of this whole situation spilling over him. Carol leaned into his side and lifted her head up so she could see him.

 

“I’m...okay,” she told him in a strained whisper when she saw his tears. “The baby…is coming faster...than...we...planned...”

 

She drew in a sharp breath when they slowly began to walk her towards the bedroom, stopping half way when another contraction hit her body. She clenched her fingers tightly around Michonne and Daryl’s hands, riding through the ripples of pain coursing through her abdomen. The two people beside her didn’t say a word, just waited there with her until she loosened her grip when the tightening over her lower body slowly began to subside.

 

“We good to go?” Michonne asked softly when Carol began to slowly walk again.

 

“Yeah…” Carol nodded, her eyes focusing on the bedroom door. “I didn’t get anything for the bed...I’ll ruin it....”

 

“Don’t care about the damn bed,” Daryl told her, his voice hoarse as he pushed the door open wider. “I’ll get ya a new one.”

 

“No…I didn’t mean that...” Carol told him softly, shaking her head when he looked at her with confusion. “We just need something to put over it.”

 

“We’ve got some tarpaulin left in the storeroom,” Michonne reassured her, wishing they still had a working telephone network in this new world. “I’ll go and get it just as soon as we’ve got you on the bed.”

 

“Kay,” Carol nodded, but she wasn’t really listening anymore. All she could see was the bed where she was going to give birth to this baby. She wasn’t sure if she was happy it was happening this way...what if something bad _did_ happen? Daryl wouldn’t ever be able to be in this room again...

 

With Daryl’s and Michonne’s help, she made it inside the room without needing to stop again. Michonne released her hold on Carol’s arm so she could grasp hold of the comforter and yank it upwards and off the bed. Moving to the side, she removed the bedding completely, draping it over the foot of the bed before she reached for the pillows and placed them against the centre of the headboard.

 

Daryl nodded his thanks and waited for Carol’s fingers to ease their iron grip around his. He lowered his lips to her ear, whispering soft reassurances to her while he helped her down onto the bed. He vaguely heard Michonne muttering how she was going to fetch the tarpaulin and track down the doctor at the same time. His sole concern was this beautiful woman in their bed, and the baby they both loved so much.

 

“What can I do?” he asked her when she settled back against the pillows. “What do ya need?”

 

“You...Just need...you,” she whimpered, reaching out to pull him onto the bed beside her when she felt the building of another contraction.

 

“Ain’t goin’ nowhere,” he whispered against her ear, holding onto her as she gripped hold of his fingers so hard his knuckles were turning white.

 

He watched on helplessly when she brought her knees up to her stomach only to drop them again restlessly onto the mattress. Carol leaned her head backwards, pushing it into the pillows when the painful ripples overtook her body. Daryl held onto her hand, not caring her fingernails were digging into his skin.Nothing in the pregnancy books he’d read could have prepared him for this. Carol was writhing in agony and there wasn’t one damn thing he could do to stop it.

 

He was so caught up in watching her every movement, he didn’t hear Michonne returning. He heard his name when she called him a second time, and when he turned his head in her direction, he was overcome with immense relief when he saw the doctor standing right behind her. Getting up from the mattress, he kept hold of Carol’s hand to allow Michonne to get closer to the bed. Michonne worked quickly, spreading the thick tarpaulin across the mattress, easing it beneath Carol’s legs while she waited for Carol to lift her hips so she could slide it under her. Once the protective material was in place, she left the room for a few seconds only to return with a large bath towel.

 

“I took this from the storeroom,” she told Carol with a low chuckle as she opened the towel wide. Bending forward, she slipped the soft material over the heavy plastic then stood back with a smile. “It’s practically new...only the best for this baby.”

 

Carol opened her eyes and offered Michonne a taught smile. Her hair was sticking to her forehead, and beads of sweat were gathering over her body, but she didn’t care about her appearance right now. Holding out her hand, Carol squeezed Michonne’s fingers in thanks, before she pulled away again to sink backwards into the pillows.

 

“I’ll be right outside,” Michonne spoke softly, her gaze drifting over Daryl’s worried features. Reaching out she patted his arm in soft reassurance before she lowered her eyes onto Carol’s flushed face. “Is there anything I can get you?”

 

Carol clamped her eyes shut and just shook her head, and Michonne took that as her cue to leave. Next time she would come into this room it would be to meet the newest baby to join their community, she just hoped Carol’s labour was going to be a fast one...for her sake as well as Daryl’s. The last thing she heard before she closed the door behind her, was the doctors reassuring voice telling Carol he was going to examine her.

 

000

 

Four hours later, Carol was in the throes of full blown labour. After the first hour, the doctor had sent for the fetal and contraction monitor sent from the Hilltop. With Carol’s contractions coming at irregular intervals, he wanted to make sure both the baby and its mother were as safe as possible. With the monitor in place, he was satisfied with the progression of Carol’s labour and explained to the anxious father to be, everything was going just how it was supposed to. After reassuring Daryl a further time, he’d left the expectant parents alone for a few moments so they could have a little privacy, in what was an intensely intimate time.

 

As soon as he stepped out of the room, he was met with a flurry of questions from the two people sitting outside on the couch. Michonne and Rick were on their feet when John left the bedroom, both anxiously awaiting any news.

 

“Nothing yet,” John told them softly, keeping his voice to a low whisper. “But she’s progressing well.”

 

“Is she doing okay?” Michonne asked, her worried gaze slipping towards the closed bedroom door. “Do you need anything else from the hospital? Ezekiel and Jerry are just outside, and ready to fetch anything she needs.”

 

Doctor John cast Michonne an incredulous smile. It seemed this new baby and its parents were special to a lot of people around the Kingdom.

 

“At the moment, no. She is doing well...but it could be a while yet.”

 

“And how about Daryl?” Rick asked, trying to keep his voice from rising. “How’s he handling it?”

 

“They are both doing just fine,” John told him with a smile. “Now, if you’ll excuse me for a few moments, I need to check on my other patients but I’ll be back within twenty minutes.”

 

Both Michonne and Rick watched the doctor make his way out of towards the front of the house before returning to the couch. They had tried so hard to do something to distract themselves from what was going on in the bedroom, but no matter how many times Michonne folded the same pile of clean laundry, she couldn’t help but worry.

 

“Why don’t you go and give Maggie an update and check on Jude,” Rick suggested as he laid a hand over her knee when she couldn’t seem to keep still.

 

“I…” glancing towards the closed door again, Michonne released a low sigh. She knew he was right. She was wound so tight with worry, she couldn’t seem to think straight right now. Covering his hand with her own, she gave his fingers a squeeze before shifting forward. His hand dropped from her knee and she got to her feet. “If something happens…”

 

“I’ll come get you,” he promised. “Maybe you should let Ezekiel know what’s going on, too. He and Jerry were pacing a hole in the ground when I came in earlier.”

 

Michonne chuckled despite the nervousness in her heart. Carol was indeed a popular lady amongst the Kingdom residents, as well as her own family. Nodding her head, she bent to place a parting kiss on his lips, then turned to leave the house.

 

Rick watched her until she was out of sight and then settled back against the couch cushions once more. He couldn’t hear anything coming from the bedroom other that the faint sound of a steady heartbeat from the monitor the doctor had sent for earlier. Releasing a slow sigh, he rested his head on the back of the couch and closed his eyes...it was going to be a long night.

 

000

 

Carol shifted her legs uncomfortably, modesty long forgotten as the pain began to slowly get worse as time went on. She was tired, in agony and switched from anger to tears in a matter of seconds, but the man beside her took it all in his stride. Daryl stroked her hair as he sat by her side. His eyes kept drifting to the small screen of the monitor the doctor had hooked her up to. He watched for the telltale peak which indicated another approaching contraction and he found himself leaning forward, wrapping his hands around one of hers as he waited for it to hit.

 

Carol drew in a sharp breath and gripped his fingers tighter. Scrunching up her face in pain she tried to even out her breath, but it was becoming difficult to even breathe. Daryl held his breath when his knuckles turned white. Carol was squeezing his hand so hard he lost the feeling in his fingers, but he didn't care. He just needed to stop the pain for her. He needed to do something, anything which would ease it.

 

“How are we doing?" the doctor asked in a hushed voice when he came back into the room.

 

"She's in pain," Daryl snapped, his voice breaking when he smoothed his hand over Carol’s hair. "How much longer has she got to go through this?"

 

“I wish I could tell you it won’t be much longer," John told him sympathetically when he came over to watch the monitor, noting that another contraction was peaking. "Tell me when the contraction has eased and we'll have a look to see how far you've dilated okay?"

 

Carol nodded through clenched teeth, letting out a slow breath as the contraction started to die away. "They're coming so…fast."

 

"That's good, the strong ones work the best," the doctor smiled as he came to examine her quickly before another contraction overtook her body again. "You're almost there Carol, only two more to go and then you'll be ready to push. Seems this little one is ready to come and see the world."

 

"Yeah…" she nodded, in the midst of a smile only to have it die away as another strong wave of pain caught her. She panted heavily as the agony ripped through her insides, so strong it took her breath away, making it hard for her to breathe.

 

"Yer doin’ good, Carol," Daryl urged her, desperate to ease her pain. "Doc said we're almost there...we..."

 

_"SHUT…UP,"_ Carol hissed, shoving his hand away. "This is… _YOUR_ fault… _YOU_ …"

 

"Carol?" he asked urgently when she reached for his hand again, sobbing his name when she pulled him closer. "I wanna…PUSH…" she managed to groan as the overwhelming urge overtook her.

 

Throwing her head back she gripped Daryl’s hand, her voice breaking when she sobbed his name. Before the doctor even had a chance to examine her, another contraction came in the wake of the first, taking over Carol's body like she was something possessed. She squeezed Daryl’s hand hard and groaned painfully, her voice breaking on a sob when she turned to watch him with tear-filled eyes. "Don't leave…"

 

"I won't," he felt his voice breaking when he saw the pain in her eyes. He'd never felt so helpless in his whole life. Smoothing his hand over her hair he felt his own emotions slipping when he saw her writhing on the bed and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to stop it .

 

"I don't want…you to leave," she sobbed into him. "Don't leave us again."

 

"I'll never leave ya," he told her gently, holding her close to him as much as he could. "Never."

 

" _You_ left...before," she growled angrily, shoving him away, only to pull him back to her as another powerful wave overtook her body.

 

The doctor bent to examine her again, trying to be as gentle as he could. "You're fully dilated, so on the next contraction I want you to take a deep breath and push."

 

"Did ya hear, Carol?" Daryl asked tearfully, rubbing her shoulder. He stood up to let the doctor unhook her from the contraction monitor only to have Carol grasping for him.

 

"Daryl…”

 

"I'm here," he told her, moving quickly back to her side. He saw her breathing coming erratically again and he held onto her tightly as she bore down hard with the contraction, groaning through her teeth as she pushed.

 

"Okay, that's good," the doctor told her excitedly. "You're almost there now. I can see your baby's head…come on Carol we need another big push."

 

Doctor John met Daryl’s worried eyes and offered him a reassuring grin. His encouraging voice reached through Carol’s pain fogged mind and she took a deep breath and pushed hard. Daryl held onto her shoulders, his words of encouragement no longer grating on her nerves as she drew every ounce of strength from him.

 

One powerful contraction was followed closely by another, until a few minutes later a baby's cries erupted into the room. Carol fell backwards to rest on Daryl’s chest, totally exhausted as the doctor laid their baby onto her stomach and wiped the blood away from its tiny face.

 

"Hello, baby," Carol sobbed to the little baby who was mewing against her, its tiny cries causing both parents to dissolve into tears. Carol looked up and saw Daryl, tears pouring down his face as he gazed down at her and their baby in awe.

 

"Congratulations mommy and daddy," Doctor John beamed when he placed a blanket over the tiny baby. "You have a beautiful baby girl."

 

Daryl's lips found Carol’s, holding her in a gentle kiss before he slowly drew away to kiss her temple. He was totally consumed with love, his eyes watering uncontrollably. "Thank you," he whispered into her hair as he moved down to their daughter to place a soft kiss on her head before he came back towards the woman he loved. He'd seen so many things over the years, but nothing had ever compared to seeing his child being born. "That was…you were…"

 

"Does daddy want to cut the cord?" The doctor asked, his own eyes glowing with emotion when he saw Daryl and Carol gazing at each other with complete and utter adoration.

 

Daryl looked over at the Doctor dubiously, his encouraging nod the only thing which convinced him to leave Carol’s side. Moving to their baby, he watched the doctor carefully when he directed him, and guided his hands to the right position. Watching his daughter intensely he held his breath when he cut, ready to pull his hand away if she showed any signs of distress. Before he really knew what had happened he was given a pat on the shoulder before he looked across to Doctor John who nodded his approval.

 

He had never felt so elated before in his entire life as he came over to sit beside two of the most precious people in his life. He watched as the doctor moved around to stand beside Carol to lift the baby away from her mother. He used the blanket to rub all the blood away from her hair and tiny face, before wrapping her in a clean blanket and handing her back.

 

“Without any scales we can’t be accurate,” John told the new parents with a smile. “But she feels like a good seven pound baby.”

 

Carol gazed down at this new life in her arms; mesmerized by the love she felt bursting from her heart. She gazed up at the man beside her again, feeling that same love flowing from his eyes as he leaned down to lift his baby daughter into his arms.

 

"She's beautiful," he whispered as he looked down into his daughters sleeping face, so much love brimming in his eyes. Moving back towards Carol he came to sit down on the edge of the bed beside her, leaning over to kiss her lips again. "We have a baby girl..."

 

000

 

An hour later, Carol was settled into clean sheets on the bed, changed and refreshed, feeling sore and exhausted but too happy to sleep. Looking at the man beside her, she smiled when she saw Daryl holding their tiny baby, the look of wonder still present in his eyes.

 

Feeling her eyes upon him, he lifted his head and smiled at her adorningly. "She has Merle’s chin."

 

"Really?" she asked with a smile as she rested her head against his shoulder. “Poor girl...can you imagine what he’d say if he was here to see her?”

 

A soft knock on the door caused both of them to look up. Daryl glanced down at her, checking to make sure she was okay to have visitors so soon, but at her reassuring nod, he called out to whoever was outside to come in.

 

When the door cracked open, Rick poked his head through the gap checking if it was okay for him to come in. He smiled brightly when Carol greeted him with a welcoming smile, all of the upsets from the last few months melting away.

 

“Come in, Rick,” she called softly, inviting him to come inside to meet their little girl. She watched in elation when he stepped over the threshold, his whole face melting into one complete smile when he caught sight of a mop of dark hair peeking out from beneath the blanket. Behind him, Michonne followed him in. Her gaze slipping over to Carol before she settled on the baby in Daryl’s arms.

 

“Do you want to hold her?” Carol asked Rick with a smile when he moved closer.

 

“Her?” he asked in wonder. “A little girl?”

 

Daryl chuckled softly as he eased himself towards the edge of the mattress to offer the tiny bundle out towards her uncle. He never thought he could ever be this happy...but he was, and when Rick bent to take the baby from his arms, he tried not to clutch her back to his chest again.

 

"Hello, baby," Rick cooed, his voice sounding so unlike what everyone was accustomed to hearing. Daryl sat back against the bed, slipping his arm over Carol’s shoulders as they watched Rick become more emotional with every passing second. When Michonne came to stand by his side, he passed the baby across to her. Michonne took her with such a delicate hold, lifting her until she adjusted to her weight. She gazed down at the baby for a long moment, trying to fathom how only yesterday she wasn't even here.

 

Swallowing the lump in her throat she looked at the new parents, unable to hide the emotion in her eyes. "She's perfect. What are you going to call her?"

 

Carol’s lips melted into a smile when she gazed at the bundle in Michonne’s arms. She and Daryl had deliberated on so many different names, but out of all of them, there was always one which seemed to fit their beautiful little girl.

 

“She’s called Hope,” Carol told her tearfully. “Hope Sophia Dixon.”

 

“Oh...such a beautiful name,” Michonne gasped as her eyes dipped down to the sleeping child in her arms.

 

“Welcome to the world, Hope,” Rick whispered as he bent forward to press a kiss onto the baby’s head. “You’re a special little girl.”

 

Daryl smiled as he leant into Carol’s side, resting his head against hers.This was how he wanted to spend the rest of his life. He wanted to keep this moment forever in his memory because it was one he would always remember. Lowering his lips to Carol’s ear he closed his eyes and whispered the three words he knew he didn’t say often enough. She had given him everything...things he’d had no idea he’d even wanted. But as he opened his eyes to look over at the beautiful miracle they had created together, he knew without a doubt, his life before Carol hadn’t been a life...this, what he had now, was everything…

 

This was love…

 

The End

Thanks for reading

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, we've finally reached the end!
> 
> Huge thanks and so many hugs to everyone who has stuck with me and made it through to the end. For those of you who have taken the time to review, I am eternally grateful for your kindness. I'm going to make some time at the weekend to answer reviews, but please know I am humbled by your kindness. 
> 
> Hugs and so much love to my wonderful beta ladies and friends, CharlotteAshmore, BettyBubble and coreenfw. You ladies are such great friends, and no words could ever express how much I appreciate all of you


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